ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions
กำลังสร้างบทเรียน...
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You are not a target.
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You are not somebody's punching bag.
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You are not somebody's outlet for all of their frustration
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and their anger and their insecurities that have been built up all their life.
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This episode is a little bit different for the podcast.
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One, it's very early on a Saturday morning
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and I wanted to record this so that I had the full day with the kids.
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So if it looks like my face hasn't woken up yet, it's because it hasn't.
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We're in the middle of the book tour, which is going fantastic, but I wanted to make time to tell you what is on my heart.
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You ready?
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Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything.
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If you like learning tools to improve your communication, I want you to follow this podcast.
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If you're watching it, wherever you are, please add it as a subscriber and give it a like, give it a star.
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Anything really makes a difference.
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I appreciate that.
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And if you have any topic suggestions, just throw them in the comments.
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Hey, and while we're at it, how are you liking the podcast?
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Really?
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I know I've moved out of my car.
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I was making them in my car really just an iPhone.
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And I had this, I say the studio built that you're seeing.
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It's just a room.
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That's it.
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Nothing fancy.
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So how are you liking it?
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Do you like it better when I'm just in my car?
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Do you like this studio?
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Do you like this setup?
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Is the sound better for you?
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Because it is a better mic.
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Do you like me having guests and trying that out?
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Or do you like it when I do solo or do you like a mix of both?
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I am at a time in my life where I am making sure my priority is that whatever I do,
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it's fitting the life that I have with my family as the priority.
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And I will always make my videos and do all that.
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And there's a lot of wonderful things coming down the road that I can't wait to share with you.
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But right now with this podcast, I want to make sure it fits my life because that's where I'm going to show up best for you every time.
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So I want you to Let me know.
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Give me some feedback.
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How are you liking it?
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This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth.
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I like Cozy Earth because I wear it all the time, especially when I'm traveling, especially when I'm home.
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It's just cozy.
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It's comfortable.
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There's a reason why it's called that.
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And my wife loves it.
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She wears the pajamas.
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We have their bedsheets.
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It's really, really comfortable.
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So you ought to give it a try.
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CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off.
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I promise you they feel amazing.
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CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off.
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My book, The Next Conversation, Argue Less, Talk More is out.
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You can order wherever you like to order books.
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You can go to jeffersonfisher.com or you can go to thenextconversation.com.
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You'll find the links down in the show notes to get yours.
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It is officially a New York Times bestseller, instant Sunday Times bestseller
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and I couldn't be any more grateful because I know it's because of you, anybody who's listening to this right now or anybody who's purchased the book or supported my content.
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Thank you so much.
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If you're interested in going even further in improving your communication, I'm going to encourage you to join the Jefferson Fisher School of Communication.
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It's an online membership where I'm able to have live classes with everyone.
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They're able to use my AI or actually able to give more worksheets and tools and resources than ever before.
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I encourage you to give it a try.
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There are links for it down in the show notes.
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So my book has been out for a little over a week now and it's been fantastic, amazing.
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The book tour is going wonderful and as any new debut author, I, for good or for bad,
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have been looking at reviews online because you want to know are people going to like the book?
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That's the whole, you get very nervous
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or are you going to deliver on the message
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and the reviews have been so kind and wonderful
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and there was one that hit me yesterday that I randomly saw that I wanted to share with you.
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It's very short.
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I know you can listen to it.
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Just bear with me.
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I know you can do it.
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Listen, you are not a target.
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I was once told by my husband, you are an easy target and everyone knows it.
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Time and again, I walked away defeated even with my children.
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Jefferson showed me what I lacked was communication skills.
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From his social media, I started applying these answers to difficult situations.
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Let me be clear.
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This is not a book of his social media quips.
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That's what I thought it would be.
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No, it is learning to understand where people are and to adequately communicate with them.
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It's teaching to deepen relationships by way of strong communication skills.
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You are not a weak person for purchasing this book.
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you are strong
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and courageous for recognizing there is a better way to bridge a gap create healthy boundaries
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that work to not get sucked down a rabbit hole to not think you've lost your mind i highly recommend
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and i'm starting my second read through kindle edition is an
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easy read bless you jefferson for exhibiting love for people i was just taking a back i was totally blown away by this.
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I have no clue who this person is.
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In fact, they didn't even leave their name.
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It just says verified purchaser.
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This is my point with this is I want you to know where to go in your mind
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when conflict comes your way.
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You are not a target.
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And if you felt like you've been your whole life, this is where it stops.
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Rule number one in my book, there are three rules.
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It's rule number one, say it with control.
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Number two, say it with confidence.
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Number three, say it to connect.
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And the whole focus of rule number one is you can't say anything about what I teach you, whether it's my phrases, my quips,
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my little words, everything that I can give you.
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None of it matters if you do not say it with control, if you do not first regulate yourself.
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So we're going to talk about in this episode what I want you to think about when conflict comes your way.
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Anytime that somebody says something that you weren't expecting, your body naturally through its biology reacts.
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People think that fight or flight is something that has to happen when you come with physical contact.
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No, that's not true.
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It happens every day in these little micro moments.
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Even when somebody just flatly disagrees with you.
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When somebody disagrees with your opinion or they say something you don't like or they call you an ugly name, your body goes, hey, brain, I didn't like that.
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And the brain goes, give me a second.
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Yeah, no, we definitely didn't like that.
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And it naturally reacts.
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You have a scowl on your face.
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You want to say something back.
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You get heated.
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Your neck and jaw get tense.
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All biological.
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All normal.
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All natural.
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So what do you do with that?
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Rule number one in my book is you use your breath as the first word that you say.
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And the reason why is because it adds a distance between what they say and how you respond, which gives you time to regulate yourself,
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to think of the quips that I give you and the sentences I give you.
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And it also, the other benefit is it allows the other person to calm down theirs as well.
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Gives time for that analytical side to take over.
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Every day, there are little things that tell your body, I am threatened.
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Somebody cuts in front of you in traffic.
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Somebody merges.
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Somebody's riding on your bumper.
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Your body goes, I am threatened.
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That's where road rage comes from.
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I feel threatened in this environment.
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When you're talking with your kids, when somebody says something to you that they disagree with your opinion, they dismiss your idea.
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You don't like that.
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Your body's saying, hey, that feels threatening to me.
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I want you to do something for me right now.
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Now, if you're driving, don't worry about it.
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If you're walking on the treadmill, don't worry about it.
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You can do it later.
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Do it in your head with me right now.
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I want you to think of behavior that somebody does that really, really upsets you.
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We're going to put a label on it.
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For example, maybe it's disrespect, dismissive, condescending, belittling, rude.
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Whatever it is, make it yours.
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What is a behavior that somebody exhibits that really just feels like it sets you off, that you just explode when somebody does this to you?
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You got it?
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You find that word.
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Now, write it down and right next to it,
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I want you to write, does not threaten me. Does not threaten me.
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So the sentence would be, dismissiveness does not threaten me.
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Rude comments, backtalk, insults do not threaten me.
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This is the mindset I want you to have when this kind of stuff comes up in your life.
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Why?
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Because it is telling your body of, hey, when somebody raises their voice, that doesn't threaten me.
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When somebody calls me that, the way I'm reacting and telling my body is, hey, this does not threaten me.
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That's what you're doing with your breath in that moment.
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That's why we give it time to tell your body, what is happening in front of me is not a threat.
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right it's this idea that um you have you've seen the big animals whether it's a lion
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or an elephant or something they have like some maybe a little dog
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or something they just go what is this it's like a
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little animal coming up to a big animal they're not threatened
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in any way that's the whole mindset here of hey what
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you're doing is this isn't threatening to me i'm seeing right through it.
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Cool.
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I'm going to tell you a quick story right now that I haven't, I don't think I've ever shared.
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This was, I don't know, maybe three weeks ago or so.
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And where was I?
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I think it was in San Diego airport.
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I was in the San Diego airport.
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It may have been San Diego.
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Everything's blurring, blending together at this moment.
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And it's early.
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Give me a break.
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Is I got through security at TSA and went and I was looking for my gate, looking for my gate.
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And I kept following the signs.
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And then all of a sudden I was outside of it, outside of the security, the gate, the terminal, it wasn't the terminal.
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The gate was actually in a separate terminal.
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And I just walked myself all the way through.
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I'd already gone through security.
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I'd already gone through all the check and the getting your stuff out and ready and giving your ID.
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I started walking out and I passed this exit where it goes,
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you know, the point of no return or has a red line there at the airport.
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And I walk out of it.
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And all of a sudden, this is me by myself.
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And I look and I go, I say this out loud.
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I go, oh my gosh, I got to do this all over again.
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Because I have to know I'm going further down where a separate terminal is.
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And I say, oh my gosh, I got to do this all over again.
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And a voice that I had no clue where it was coming from, female voice goes, that's why you should read the sign, sir.
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And I'm trying to find who that is.
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And I turn and look.
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And as I'm looking, she goes, you have no one to blame but yourself, sir.
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That's why we have signs.
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I don't know if you're feeling this, just hearing it to me,
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just the way the tone came across was so condescending and unexpected and unnecessary
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you ever had that that's why we have signs sir you have no one to blame
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but yourself and i remember being just taken aback who who are you
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and it was a tsa agent now
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if you're a tsa agent i know not everybody is rough
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and can be terrible
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and i hey i'm an attorney for crying out loud not all attorneys are bad there's some tisa agents
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that are wonderful there are some people
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that are bad we all have bad apples in every profession
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this one right here this lady she was middle-aged lady uh just looked
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so smug when soon she said that and this is what my body wanted
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And to come back with some really good zingers in that moment, I wanted to say a few things to her because it was really rude.
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It was unnecessary.
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And this is what I did.
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Of course I have to practice what I preach, right?
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I gave it.
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I looked at her for like five seconds, trying to figure out, is this, did she say that?
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And I just give it time.
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And now she's sitting back and blinking and looking at me.
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Her smile is gone.
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And this is what I asked her.
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I said, how do you feel when you say that kind of thing to someone?
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Does it give you joy?
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That's what I said, verbatim.
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And immediately she got red, like, and just got red in the face and apologized right there.
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I don't have to prompt anything.
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She goes, I'm sorry, sir.
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You're right.
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That wasn't kind.
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You're right, sir.
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I'm sorry.
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Yes, you can find the terminal if you go straight down.
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And now she was in helping mode.
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Now she was in helping mode.
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You can go right here and this is where it's going to be.
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I would say, oh, well, thank you very much.
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I appreciate that.
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All right, you have a wonderful day.
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You are not a target.
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You are not somebody's punching bag.
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You are not the outlet for somebody to release all of their frustrations and their angers and their smugness on you.
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These tools work.
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This is why I talk about them.
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That's why I feel so passionate about sharing these.
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You had the choice right in that moment when somebody says something ugly.
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When they're the TSA agent in your life, how are you going to react?
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What are you going to say to that person?
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Are you going to allow them to just press your remote control and manipulate all your emotions?
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I had a choice.
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You have a choice.
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Is that going to ruin your day?
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I just can't believe you'd say that.
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Excuse me?
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Are you talking to me?
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You see how it easily could go the other way when you give in to that fight or flight, when you don't use your breath, when you don't regulate yourself.
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If you do not say things with control, it doesn't matter what kind of tip I can give you.
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It's not going to work.
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It ain't going to work.
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You have to say it with control.
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You are not a target.
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I hope that this is a good reminder for you, wherever you are.
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I can give you lots of tools and tips on what to say.
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And we have different podcast episodes on that.
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And I'm going to continue to give you podcast episodes on this.
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And I want to make sure that you know and you hear, and really the message is very simple for today.
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You are not a target.
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When that happens, I want you to go to your breath, regulate yourself, and then use the questions that I've taught you.
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These are questions like, did you mean?
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Did you mean for that to be rude?
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Did you mean to insult me?
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Did you mean for that to embarrass me?
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Or you give it time and then you ask somebody a question of intent.
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How did you expect me to react to that?
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I could have said that to her.
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How did you want me to respond to that?
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How does it make you feel?
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Imagine being the person who would say that to someone.
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These ways of responding to rude behavior that is actually not a response.
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It's a question.
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You're not giving them matters of substance.
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I'm not saying, you spit in my eye, let me spit back in yours.
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No, it is a reflection of their own behavior and character.
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And nine times out of ten, the other person sees that because they, because you're giving them time to, are seeing.
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It's like the blood, the red.
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It's not blood.
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The red comes out of their system.
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You know, somebody's seeing red.
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You have to give them time for that to go away.
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Come back to normal.
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Come back.
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I know that's not who you are.
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People are not.
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People are far better than we give them a chance to be.
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Why?
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Because we know that in ourselves.
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So when you have the patience and the discipline to get to that, you're going to have a better communication and a better relationship and a better life because of that.
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Cool?
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All right.
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You are not a target.
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I hope you have a wonderful day.
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Oh, you thought I forgot?
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As always, you can try that and follow me.
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คำศัพท์และข้อสังเกตด้านการพูดสำหรับบทเรียนนี้
บทเรียนฝึกพูดระดับ B2 นี้ใช้วิดีโอ “You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions” เป็นสื่อ วิดีโอนี้มี 300 ประโยค และ 3014 คำ สำหรับฝึกพูดตาม ช่วงที่มีเสียงพูดยาว 17:12 ผู้พูดพูดด้วยความเร็วเป็นธรรมชาติ ประมาณ 175 คำต่อนาที ใกล้เคียงกับบทสนทนาในชีวิตประจำวัน 85% ของคำอยู่ใน 3,000 คำที่ใช้บ่อยที่สุดในภาษาอังกฤษ ส่วนที่เหลือควรดูไว้ก่อนเริ่มฝึก
คำศัพท์สำคัญในวิดีโอนี้
คำที่ยากที่สุด 15 คำในวิดีโอ พร้อมคำอ่านและความหมาย:
| คำศัพท์ | คำอ่าน | ความหมาย |
|---|---|---|
| threaten คำกริยา | /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/ | ขู่ |
| podcast คำนาม | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | พอดแคสต์, พอดคาสต์ |
| condescend คำกริยา | /ˌkɑndəˈsɛnd/ | ถ่อมตัวลง |
| spit คำกริยา | /spɪt/ | ขาก, ถุย |
| insult คำนาม | /ɪnˈsʌlt/ | หยาบคาย |
| clue คำนาม | /kluː/ | เบาะแส, ร่องรอย |
| bedsheet คำนาม | /ˈbɛdʃiːt/ | ผ้าปูเตียง, ผ้าปูที่นอน |
| pajamas คำนาม | /pəˈd͡ʒɑ.məz/ | ชุดนอน |
| worksheet คำนาม | ตารางทำการ | |
| blink คำกริยา | /ˈblɪŋk/ | กะพริบ |
| microwave คำนาม | /ˈmaɪkɹoʊˌweɪv/ | ไมโครเวฟ |
| explode คำกริยา | /ɪkˈsploʊd/ | ระเบิด |
| tense คำนาม | /tɛns/ | กาล |
| theirs | /ðɛɚz/ | ของเขา |
| rabbit คำนาม | /ˈɹæbɪt/ | กระต่าย |
กริยาวลีที่คุณจะได้ยิน
| คำศัพท์ | คำอ่าน | ความหมาย |
|---|---|---|
| come back คำกริยา | กลับมา | |
| show up คำกริยา | โผล่ | |
| wake up คำกริยา | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | ตื่น, ตื่นนอน |
ประโยคที่ควรฝึกพูดซ้ำ
ประโยคสั้น ๆ ที่สมบูรณ์จากวิดีโอ ซึ่งนำไปใช้ในบทสนทนาประจำวันได้:
- Hey, and while we're at it, how are you liking the podcast?
- Do you like it better when I'm just in my car?
- Do you like this studio?
- Do you like this setup?
- Is the sound better for you?
ไวยากรณ์ในวิดีโอนี้
โครงสร้างที่ผู้พูดใช้บ่อยที่สุด พร้อมคำพูดจริงจากวิดีโอ:
| โครงสร้าง | ในวิดีโอ |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + กริยาช่อง 3 — เหตุการณ์ในอดีตที่ยังเกี่ยวข้องกับปัจจุบัน | have been built · hasn't woken · I've moved |
| Passive voice be + กริยาช่อง 3 — เน้นสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้น ไม่ใช่ผู้กระทำ | have been built · is brought · being just taken |
| Relative clauses who / which + อนุประโยค — ข้อมูลเพิ่มเติมเกี่ยวกับคนหรือสิ่งของ | tour, which is · person who would |
การออกเสียงที่ควรระวัง
ผู้พูดใช้รูปย่อและรูปลดเสียง 78 ครั้ง เช่น I'm, you're, don't ให้พูดแบบสั้นตามที่ได้ยิน
- เสียง “th”: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
- เสียง “sh” และ “zh”: gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, passionate /ˈpæʃənɪt/, profession /pɹəˈfɛʃ.ən/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/
- คำยาว — ลงเสียงหนักให้ถูกพยางค์: unnecessary /ʌnˈnɛs.əˌsɛɹ.i/, dismissiveness /dɪsˈmɪsɪvnəs/, manipulate /məˈnɪp.jʊ.leɪt/, analytical /ˌæn.əˈlɪt.ɪ.kəl/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/
เสียงที่คนไทยมักออกเสียงยาก:
- เสียงท้ายคำ — ออกเสียงให้ครบ ไม่เปลี่ยนเป็นตัวสะกดแบบไทย: gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, belittle /bɪˈlɪt.əl/, dismissive /dəsˈmɪsɪv/, dismissiveness /dɪsˈmɪsɪvnəs/, embarrass /ɪmˈbæɹəs/
- /v/ — ไม่ใช่ /w/ ให้ฟันบนแตะริมฝีปากล่าง: dismissive /dəsˈmɪsɪv/, dismissiveness /dɪsˈmɪsɪvnəs/, verbatim /vəɹˈbeɪ.tɪm/, microwave /ˈmaɪkɹoʊˌweɪv/, verify /ˈvɛɹɪfaɪ/
- /z/ — เสียงก้อง ไม่ใช่ /s/: cosy /ˈkoʊzi/, exhibit /ɪɡˈzɪbɪt/, pajamas /pəˈd͡ʒɑ.məz/, zinger /ˈzɪŋə(ɹ)/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
วิธีฝึกกับวิดีโอนี้
- ฟังวิดีโอให้จบหนึ่งรอบโดยยังไม่ต้องพูด แล้วจดคำที่ยังไม่รู้จัก
- เริ่มที่ความเร็ว 0.75× พูดตามทีละประโยค แล้วกลับไปใช้ความเร็วปกติเมื่อเริ่มคล่อง
- อัดเสียงตัวเองแล้วเทียบกับต้นฉบับ โดยสังเกตคำอย่าง threaten, podcast, condescend เป็นพิเศษ
เทคนิค Shadowing คืออะไร?
Shadowing เป็นเทคนิคการเรียนรู้ภาษาที่ได้รับการรับรองทางวิทยาศาสตร์ พัฒนาขึ้นสำหรับการฝึกนักแปลมืออาชีพ วิธีการนี้เรียบง่ายแต่ทรงพลัง: คุณฟังเสียงภาษาอังกฤษจากเจ้าของภาษาและพูดตามทันที — เหมือนเงาที่ตามผู้พูดด้วยช่วงเวลาห่าง 1-2 วินาที การวิจัยแสดงว่าเทคนิคนี้ปรับปรุงความแม่นยำในการออกเสียง ทำนองเสียง จังหวะ การเชื่อมเสียง การฟังเข้าใจ และความคล่องแคล่วในการพูดได้อย่างมีนัยสำคัญ