Shadowing Practice: You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions - Learn English Speaking with Video

Bir pratik modu seçin

Her mod tam ekran bir pratik odası açar.

300 cümleler

Cümleler çok kısa veya çok uzun ise, ayarlamak için Düzenle'ye tıklayın.

You are not a target.

You are not somebody's punching bag.

You are not somebody's outlet for all of their frustration

and their anger and their insecurities that have been built up all their life.

This episode is a little bit different for the podcast.

One, it's very early on a Saturday morning

and I wanted to record this so that I had the full day with the kids.

So if it looks like my face hasn't woken up yet, it's because it hasn't.

We're in the middle of the book tour, which is going fantastic, but I wanted to make time to tell you what is on my heart.

You ready?

Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything.

If you like learning tools to improve your communication, I want you to follow this podcast.

If you're watching it, wherever you are, please add it as a subscriber and give it a like, give it a star.

Anything really makes a difference.

I appreciate that.

And if you have any topic suggestions, just throw them in the comments.

Hey, and while we're at it, how are you liking the podcast?

Really?

I know I've moved out of my car.

I was making them in my car really just an iPhone.

And I had this, I say the studio built that you're seeing.

It's just a room.

That's it.

Nothing fancy.

So how are you liking it?

Do you like it better when I'm just in my car?

Do you like this studio?

Do you like this setup?

Is the sound better for you?

Because it is a better mic.

Do you like me having guests and trying that out?

Or do you like it when I do solo or do you like a mix of both?

I am at a time in my life where I am making sure my priority is that whatever I do,

it's fitting the life that I have with my family as the priority.

And I will always make my videos and do all that.

And there's a lot of wonderful things coming down the road that I can't wait to share with you.

But right now with this podcast, I want to make sure it fits my life because that's where I'm going to show up best for you every time.

So I want you to Let me know.

Give me some feedback.

How are you liking it?

This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth.

I like Cozy Earth because I wear it all the time, especially when I'm traveling, especially when I'm home.

It's just cozy.

It's comfortable.

There's a reason why it's called that.

And my wife loves it.

She wears the pajamas.

We have their bedsheets.

It's really, really comfortable.

So you ought to give it a try.

CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off.

I promise you they feel amazing.

CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off.

My book, The Next Conversation, Argue Less, Talk More is out.

You can order wherever you like to order books.

You can go to jeffersonfisher.com or you can go to thenextconversation.com.

You'll find the links down in the show notes to get yours.

It is officially a New York Times bestseller, instant Sunday Times bestseller

and I couldn't be any more grateful because I know it's because of you, anybody who's listening to this right now or anybody who's purchased the book or supported my content.

Thank you so much.

If you're interested in going even further in improving your communication, I'm going to encourage you to join the Jefferson Fisher School of Communication.

It's an online membership where I'm able to have live classes with everyone.

They're able to use my AI or actually able to give more worksheets and tools and resources than ever before.

I encourage you to give it a try.

There are links for it down in the show notes.

So my book has been out for a little over a week now and it's been fantastic, amazing.

The book tour is going wonderful and as any new debut author, I, for good or for bad,

have been looking at reviews online because you want to know are people going to like the book?

That's the whole, you get very nervous

or are you going to deliver on the message

and the reviews have been so kind and wonderful

and there was one that hit me yesterday that I randomly saw that I wanted to share with you.

It's very short.

I know you can listen to it.

Just bear with me.

I know you can do it.

Listen, you are not a target.

I was once told by my husband, you are an easy target and everyone knows it.

Time and again, I walked away defeated even with my children.

Jefferson showed me what I lacked was communication skills.

From his social media, I started applying these answers to difficult situations.

Let me be clear.

This is not a book of his social media quips.

That's what I thought it would be.

No, it is learning to understand where people are and to adequately communicate with them.

It's teaching to deepen relationships by way of strong communication skills.

You are not a weak person for purchasing this book.

you are strong

and courageous for recognizing there is a better way to bridge a gap create healthy boundaries

that work to not get sucked down a rabbit hole to not think you've lost your mind i highly recommend

and i'm starting my second read through kindle edition is an

easy read bless you jefferson for exhibiting love for people i was just taking a back i was totally blown away by this.

I have no clue who this person is.

In fact, they didn't even leave their name.

It just says verified purchaser.

This is my point with this is I want you to know where to go in your mind

when conflict comes your way.

You are not a target.

And if you felt like you've been your whole life, this is where it stops.

100

Rule number one in my book, there are three rules.

101

It's rule number one, say it with control.

102

Number two, say it with confidence.

103

Number three, say it to connect.

104

And the whole focus of rule number one is you can't say anything about what I teach you, whether it's my phrases, my quips,

105

my little words, everything that I can give you.

106

None of it matters if you do not say it with control, if you do not first regulate yourself.

107

So we're going to talk about in this episode what I want you to think about when conflict comes your way.

108

Anytime that somebody says something that you weren't expecting, your body naturally through its biology reacts.

109

People think that fight or flight is something that has to happen when you come with physical contact.

110

No, that's not true.

111

It happens every day in these little micro moments.

112

Even when somebody just flatly disagrees with you.

113

When somebody disagrees with your opinion or they say something you don't like or they call you an ugly name, your body goes, hey, brain, I didn't like that.

114

And the brain goes, give me a second.

115

Yeah, no, we definitely didn't like that.

116

And it naturally reacts.

117

You have a scowl on your face.

118

You want to say something back.

119

You get heated.

120

Your neck and jaw get tense.

121

All biological.

122

All normal.

123

All natural.

124

So what do you do with that?

125

Rule number one in my book is you use your breath as the first word that you say.

126

And the reason why is because it adds a distance between what they say and how you respond, which gives you time to regulate yourself,

127

to think of the quips that I give you and the sentences I give you.

128

And it also, the other benefit is it allows the other person to calm down theirs as well.

129

Gives time for that analytical side to take over.

130

Every day, there are little things that tell your body, I am threatened.

131

Somebody cuts in front of you in traffic.

132

Somebody merges.

133

Somebody's riding on your bumper.

134

Your body goes, I am threatened.

135

That's where road rage comes from.

136

I feel threatened in this environment.

137

When you're talking with your kids, when somebody says something to you that they disagree with your opinion, they dismiss your idea.

138

You don't like that.

139

Your body's saying, hey, that feels threatening to me.

140

I want you to do something for me right now.

141

Now, if you're driving, don't worry about it.

142

If you're walking on the treadmill, don't worry about it.

143

You can do it later.

144

Do it in your head with me right now.

145

I want you to think of behavior that somebody does that really, really upsets you.

146

We're going to put a label on it.

147

For example, maybe it's disrespect, dismissive, condescending, belittling, rude.

148

Whatever it is, make it yours.

149

What is a behavior that somebody exhibits that really just feels like it sets you off, that you just explode when somebody does this to you?

150

You got it?

151

You find that word.

152

Now, write it down and right next to it,

153

I want you to write, does not threaten me. Does not threaten me.

154

So the sentence would be, dismissiveness does not threaten me.

155

Rude comments, backtalk, insults do not threaten me.

156

This is the mindset I want you to have when this kind of stuff comes up in your life.

157

Why?

158

Because it is telling your body of, hey, when somebody raises their voice, that doesn't threaten me.

159

When somebody calls me that, the way I'm reacting and telling my body is, hey, this does not threaten me.

160

That's what you're doing with your breath in that moment.

161

That's why we give it time to tell your body, what is happening in front of me is not a threat.

162

right it's this idea that um you have you've seen the big animals whether it's a lion

163

or an elephant or something they have like some maybe a little dog

164

or something they just go what is this it's like a

165

little animal coming up to a big animal they're not threatened

166

in any way that's the whole mindset here of hey what

167

you're doing is this isn't threatening to me i'm seeing right through it.

168

Cool.

169

I'm going to tell you a quick story right now that I haven't, I don't think I've ever shared.

170

This was, I don't know, maybe three weeks ago or so.

171

And where was I?

172

I think it was in San Diego airport.

173

I was in the San Diego airport.

174

It may have been San Diego.

175

Everything's blurring, blending together at this moment.

176

And it's early.

177

Give me a break.

178

Is I got through security at TSA and went and I was looking for my gate, looking for my gate.

179

And I kept following the signs.

180

And then all of a sudden I was outside of it, outside of the security, the gate, the terminal, it wasn't the terminal.

181

The gate was actually in a separate terminal.

182

And I just walked myself all the way through.

183

I'd already gone through security.

184

I'd already gone through all the check and the getting your stuff out and ready and giving your ID.

185

I started walking out and I passed this exit where it goes,

186

you know, the point of no return or has a red line there at the airport.

187

And I walk out of it.

188

And all of a sudden, this is me by myself.

189

And I look and I go, I say this out loud.

190

I go, oh my gosh, I got to do this all over again.

191

Because I have to know I'm going further down where a separate terminal is.

192

And I say, oh my gosh, I got to do this all over again.

193

And a voice that I had no clue where it was coming from, female voice goes, that's why you should read the sign, sir.

194

And I'm trying to find who that is.

195

And I turn and look.

196

And as I'm looking, she goes, you have no one to blame but yourself, sir.

197

That's why we have signs.

198

I don't know if you're feeling this, just hearing it to me,

199

just the way the tone came across was so condescending and unexpected and unnecessary

200

you ever had that that's why we have signs sir you have no one to blame

201

but yourself and i remember being just taken aback who who are you

202

and it was a tsa agent now

203

if you're a tsa agent i know not everybody is rough

204

and can be terrible

205

and i hey i'm an attorney for crying out loud not all attorneys are bad there's some tisa agents

206

that are wonderful there are some people

207

that are bad we all have bad apples in every profession

208

this one right here this lady she was middle-aged lady uh just looked

209

so smug when soon she said that and this is what my body wanted

210

And to come back with some really good zingers in that moment, I wanted to say a few things to her because it was really rude.

211

It was unnecessary.

212

And this is what I did.

213

Of course I have to practice what I preach, right?

214

I gave it.

215

I looked at her for like five seconds, trying to figure out, is this, did she say that?

216

And I just give it time.

217

And now she's sitting back and blinking and looking at me.

218

Her smile is gone.

219

And this is what I asked her.

220

I said, how do you feel when you say that kind of thing to someone?

221

Does it give you joy?

222

That's what I said, verbatim.

223

And immediately she got red, like, and just got red in the face and apologized right there.

224

I don't have to prompt anything.

225

She goes, I'm sorry, sir.

226

You're right.

227

That wasn't kind.

228

You're right, sir.

229

I'm sorry.

230

Yes, you can find the terminal if you go straight down.

231

And now she was in helping mode.

232

Now she was in helping mode.

233

You can go right here and this is where it's going to be.

234

I would say, oh, well, thank you very much.

235

I appreciate that.

236

All right, you have a wonderful day.

237

You are not a target.

238

You are not somebody's punching bag.

239

You are not the outlet for somebody to release all of their frustrations and their angers and their smugness on you.

240

These tools work.

241

This is why I talk about them.

242

That's why I feel so passionate about sharing these.

243

You had the choice right in that moment when somebody says something ugly.

244

When they're the TSA agent in your life, how are you going to react?

245

What are you going to say to that person?

246

Are you going to allow them to just press your remote control and manipulate all your emotions?

247

I had a choice.

248

You have a choice.

249

Is that going to ruin your day?

250

I just can't believe you'd say that.

251

Excuse me?

252

Are you talking to me?

253

You see how it easily could go the other way when you give in to that fight or flight, when you don't use your breath, when you don't regulate yourself.

254

If you do not say things with control, it doesn't matter what kind of tip I can give you.

255

It's not going to work.

256

It ain't going to work.

257

You have to say it with control.

258

You are not a target.

259

I hope that this is a good reminder for you, wherever you are.

260

I can give you lots of tools and tips on what to say.

261

And we have different podcast episodes on that.

262

And I'm going to continue to give you podcast episodes on this.

263

And I want to make sure that you know and you hear, and really the message is very simple for today.

264

You are not a target.

265

When that happens, I want you to go to your breath, regulate yourself, and then use the questions that I've taught you.

266

These are questions like, did you mean?

267

Did you mean for that to be rude?

268

Did you mean to insult me?

269

Did you mean for that to embarrass me?

270

Or you give it time and then you ask somebody a question of intent.

271

How did you expect me to react to that?

272

I could have said that to her.

273

How did you want me to respond to that?

274

How does it make you feel?

275

Imagine being the person who would say that to someone.

276

These ways of responding to rude behavior that is actually not a response.

277

It's a question.

278

You're not giving them matters of substance.

279

I'm not saying, you spit in my eye, let me spit back in yours.

280

No, it is a reflection of their own behavior and character.

281

And nine times out of ten, the other person sees that because they, because you're giving them time to, are seeing.

282

It's like the blood, the red.

283

It's not blood.

284

The red comes out of their system.

285

You know, somebody's seeing red.

286

You have to give them time for that to go away.

287

Come back to normal.

288

Come back.

289

I know that's not who you are.

290

People are not.

291

People are far better than we give them a chance to be.

292

Why?

293

Because we know that in ourselves.

294

So when you have the patience and the discipline to get to that, you're going to have a better communication and a better relationship and a better life because of that.

295

Cool?

296

All right.

297

You are not a target.

298

I hope you have a wonderful day.

299

Oh, you thought I forgot?

300

As always, you can try that and follow me.

Uygulamayı İndir

Akıcı konuşmak için ihtiyacınız olan her şey

AI TelaffuzHer cümleyi puanla

IPA AlıştırmasıHer sesi ustalaştır

Kelime BilgisiKelime bankanızı oluşturun

Kelime OyunuOynarken öğrenin

QR Tara

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

📺 Aynı Kanal

✨ Video Öner

23 cümleler

2662 - When You Know, You Know! How to Express Your Intuition in English

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

751 cümleler

7 Conversations Every Ambitious Person Needs to Hear | Dear Leila

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

122 cümleler

How to Talk About Feelings in English: Belonging, Trust, and Connection

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

106 cümleler

Why I'm Always So Calm

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

269 cümleler

English Listening Podcast - New Year, New Mindset

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

435 cümleler

Don't Lose the Room: How to Make Ideas Stick

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

147 cümleler

Time and Effort Will Make You a Better Person | Joe Rogan and CT Fletcher

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

101 cümleler

THE TOMMY PODCAST [WANDERING SERIES - EP.01] - You Can't Win If You Always Expect to Lose

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

395 cümleler

Think In English With Me | Episode 1: Motivation

Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students

870 cümleler

Gracie Kramer on Career Highs, Dating Lows, & Everything in Between | Ep 27

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

635

38 cümleler

Stop introducing yourself like this.

Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation

Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 300 cümle ve 3014 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 17:12 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 175 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %85’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
threaten fiil	/ˈθɹɛt.n̩/	gözünü korkutmak, tehdit etmek
podcast isim	/ˈpɑdˌkæst/	podcast
react fiil	/ɹiːˈækt/	reaksiyon göstermek
regulate fiil	/ˈɹɛɡ.jə.leɪt/	regüle etmek
quip isim	/kwɪp/	nükte, espri
spit fiil	/spɪt/	tükürmek
mindset isim	/ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/	düşünce tarzı, zihniyet
gosh	/ɡɑːʃ/	Allah Allah, anne
frustration isim	/fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/	bıkkınlık
insult isim	/ɪnˈsʌlt/	hakaret, aşağılama
exhibit fiil	/ɪɡˈzɪbɪt/	göstermek, sergilemek
unnecessary sıfat	/ʌnˈnɛs.əˌsɛɹ.i/	gereksiz, lüzumsuz
clue isim	/kluː/	ipucu
bedsheet isim	/ˈbɛdʃiːt/	yatak çarşafı, çarşaf
belittle fiil	/bɪˈlɪt.əl/	küçümsemek

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
calm down fiil		sakinleşmek
come across fiil		karşıdan karşıya geçmek
come down fiil		düşmek
figure out fiil		açığa çıkarmak
show up fiil		ortaya çıkmak
wake up fiil	/ˌweɪk ˈʌp/	uyanmak

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:

Hey, and while we're at it, how are you liking the podcast?
Do you like it better when I'm just in my car?
Do you like this studio?
Do you like this setup?
Is the sound better for you?

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	have been built · hasn't woken · I've moved
Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli	have been built · is brought · being just taken
İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi	tour, which is · person who would

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı I'm, you're, don't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 78 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“th” sesleri: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, passionate /ˈpæʃənɪt/, profession /pɹəˈfɛʃ.ən/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: unnecessary /ʌnˈnɛs.əˌsɛɹ.i/, dismissiveness /dɪsˈmɪsɪvnəs/, manipulate /məˈnɪp.jʊ.leɪt/, analytical /ˌæn.əˈlɪt.ɪ.kəl/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/

Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:

/w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: quip /kwɪp/, microwave /ˈmaɪkɹoʊˌweɪv/
Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, quip /kwɪp/, spit /spɪt/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, clue /kluː/
/æ/ — “e”den daha açık: podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, react /ɹiːˈækt/, backtalk /ˈbæk.tɔk/, embarrass /ɪmˈbæɹəs/, flatly /ˈflætli/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; threaten, podcast, react gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

Shadowing tekniği: adım adım eksiksiz rehberi okuyun →

Shadowing Practice: You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions - Learn English Speaking with Video

Bir pratik modu seçin

Uygulamayı İndir

Use This Phrase on The Silent Treatment

THIS is How To Be Direct Without Hurting People | Jefferson Fisher

Erin McGoff: How to be Instantly More Confident at Work

Finance Expert: How You Talk About Money Matters Ft. Vivian Tu

Never Struggle with Small Talk Again | Easy Tips for Better Conversations

You’re Losing Respect Every Time You Say This

How to Be Direct Without Sounding Rude

How Strong Communicators Handle Difficult Talks

3 Communication Truths That Will Change Every Conversation

what to say instead of staying silent

Be more direct.

2662 - When You Know, You Know! How to Express Your Intuition in English

7 Conversations Every Ambitious Person Needs to Hear | Dear Leila

How to Talk About Feelings in English: Belonging, Trust, and Connection

Why I'm Always So Calm

English Listening Podcast - New Year, New Mindset

Don't Lose the Room: How to Make Ideas Stick

Time and Effort Will Make You a Better Person | Joe Rogan and CT Fletcher

THE TOMMY PODCAST [WANDERING SERIES - EP.01] - You Can't Win If You Always Expect to Lose

Think In English With Me | Episode 1: Motivation

Gracie Kramer on Career Highs, Dating Lows, & Everything in Between | Ep 27

Stop introducing yourself like this.

Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?