Shadowing Practice: How to detach and demand respect - Learn English Speaking with Video
Ders oluşturuluyor...
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Do you feel like people walk all over you?
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Do you feel like anytime you are nice to people or you try to people please, Somehow people just disrespect you even more.
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Are you tired of this behavior?
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Well, you're at the right video.
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Because in this video, I will explain to you how you need to have very strong boundaries
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if you are an empath or a people pleaser.
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And also how you need to detach from people, especially toxic relationship, toxic friends, work, whatever.
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Let's take a toxic relationship, for example.
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Anytime that person does something to you and whatever they do, you just stay you're like, "Okay, whatever, we'll work through it." What do you think that that person is going to do?
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They're not going to get better.
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Why?
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Because they never got a consequence for their action.
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Like, their life never changed, or you never stopped talking to them, you never set up any boundaries, so why would they change? their life is still the same no matter what they do.
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Even if we look at children, for example, if my child does something wrong, there's going to be a consequence, because then my child understands that that was wrong and this is going to happen if they do that again.
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The same thing should be with adults and humans.
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You should let them know like, hey, listen, I am not your punching bag.
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If you do this to me or if you cross this boundary, I will remove complete access to me.
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Hi guys, my name is Liz and welcome back to my channel.
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Okay, let's get into it.
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First things first.
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First thing you should think to yourself is what is your end goal?
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What are you trying to achieve here?
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Look, for example, with a toxic relationship that you cannot let go of.
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Okay, so you're gonna text them again.
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You're gonna invite them back into your life after they did you wrong.
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And then what? like okay your ego is gonna be stroked a little bit
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and you're gonna feel a little better about yourself.
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But in the future, do you think that that person is your ideal person?
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Genuinely ask yourself like what are you really doing here?
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Because at the end of the day, you are the one pouring in all of your energy, you are the one just wasting your time.
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and every single time a woman has thought
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or a man has thought like "oh my god I can change this person" they don't change
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because first of all there's no consequence
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and second of all no one can change anyone they should do
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that by themselves and it should come from them and not from you forcing something upon someone That doesn't want to change.
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Another thing is the person that is not afraid to walk away holds all the power.
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A person that is not afraid to eat alone, a person that is not afraid to lose that job,
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lose that friendship, lose that partner is the one that is most powerful because they are not attached to another human being.
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A human being doesn't give them everything that they need because they know that they are complete by themselves.
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So a person like that just thinks like
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if this person doesn't add to my happiness or if this job doesn't add to my happiness, then I will find something else or I will have something better.
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Like this is not the best that I can get.
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And I think a lot of people that are in the mindset of they're so afraid to leave, just dilute themselves into thinking that they will never get anything better.
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And that is what the person that you're with wants you to think.
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Because you will notice, like, for example, in a lot of toxic relationships, these people thrive on the fact that they make you insecure.
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And what happens now is they're constantly making you insecure.
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They're constantly doing things to you and they're crossing your boundaries constantly.
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And because you're allowing them, you start thinking to yourself, this is the best that I can get.
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reality is someone that is constantly treating you badly So you can't even see a greater future for yourself.
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But honey, I'm here to tell you, there's people being treated very well.
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No, not everyone cheats on everyone.
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There's people that are loyal to each other.
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There's people that love their partners so much.
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There's people that are doing a job that they love, and you can have that too.
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The minute you start thinking like, This is not what I deserve.
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I deserve so much better than this.
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I deserve to be treated like a queen because you are divine.
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You are so beautiful and you're literally a miracle, a miracle walking on this earth.
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Treat yourself as a miracle.
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Stop letting these people and these abusers keep you small because that's where they want you.
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They know that once you realize your potential, they know that once you wake up to your power, that it's over for everyone.
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All those friends that hate you, all those people that bully you, all those toxic relationships, they do not want you to grow.
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As humans, we have a great capacity to feel deeply
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and to find ways to move on but to keep on living at the same time.
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With loss, we don't just miss people but we miss how easy it felt to feel belonged and loved.
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Stalgia can make the past feel better than it really is and it can make the present feel like there's something missing.
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you that the connection isn't gone.
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It might take more intention to remember.
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This is a reminder to try and stay present
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and invest in what you have while still holding your past memories with warmth.
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I definitely feel nostalgic when I look at the pictures during my pregnancy
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because I didn't get to have the best pregnancy experience
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but I genuinely think that I was meant to go through these things to become the person
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that I am today which is way more resilient which is way more
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BetterHelp is a sponsor of today's video and they are on a mission to make therapy way easier.
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BetterHelp, a therapist will listen, ask questions, and help you see things from a new perspective.
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BetterHelp starting therapy couldn't be easier.
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You fill out a questionnaire and you'll get matched with a therapist in as little as a couple days.
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lizard list to get 10 % off your first month therapy.
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Another thing is your emotions are not that reliable, especially when you're in a toxic situation or a toxic relationship.
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What happens is you will start acting like an addict.
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A toxic relationship is even more addictive than a healthy one because a toxic one gives you dopamine spikes and then down.
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And it's constantly like that.
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So your body and your brain will start to crave that person.
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Because anytime you guys fight, then you make up and it gives you that adrenaline and dopamine spike.
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So what in that moment you should think is when you're missing that person, you're not missing that person.
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You're behaving like an addict right now.
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And you should tell yourself that.
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And you will literally need to withdraw from that situation like an addict, which is go cold turkey.
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You cut this out.
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Also realize that why did it end?
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If your relationship was that great, if that person was that good, why did it end?
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Why did you not want to be there anymore?
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And remind yourself of that.
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Like the same way addicts should remind themselves of how shitty they feel when they indulge in an addiction.
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is you should remind yourself how shitty that person makes you feel, how shitty that friend makes you feel, or how shitty that job makes you feel.
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Another thing is stop explaining yourself.
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You do not owe an explanation to someone that did you dirty.
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Shouldn't expect anything from you.
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You shouldn't explain why you left, whatever.
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Like if someone has done you dirty and they knew that that would hurt you, that's it.
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You don't even need closure.
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You walk away in silence because anytime you will start to argue with them and explain and this and that,
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it shows that you can still be manipulated there because that other person is going to be like, oh, but I didn't mean it like that.
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And I think you're overreacting and starting to gaslight you.
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So you start to question yourself.
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See, you see the pattern of this person constantly, you have this reality and this person is constantly twisting your reality.
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So at some point you're going to be like, am I crazy?
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Am I even able to trust myself?
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So in the moment when you make a decision, when you know that something hurts you, stick to that decision and stick with it with pride.
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Yeah.
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You walked away and you know why you walked away.
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No one lives in your shoes.
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No one has lived the life that you lived.
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You know what you went through.
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You know how it felt.
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So you're entitled.
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to do what you think is best for you.
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Also giving them any type of reaction
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or "oh I'm gonna make them jealous with posting this posting
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that" it's like yeah you're just constantly showing this person that you still care Stop, like literally hold a funeral in your head for this person.
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Like this person doesn't exist anymore.
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Just remove all of your energy, honey.
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Oh my God, you have put so much energy into that other person, into that toxic situation that you gave all of your power away.
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but it's not a bad thing because you can still get all of that power back.
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Like genuinely cut the courts with that person because they're feeding off of you.
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You know it's even crazier, I saw this one girl online and she said when she did a cord cutting with her ex A week later, they passed away.
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These things are very spiritual because a lot of people
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that are toxic and constantly trying to get a reaction out of you are draining you of your energy, are draining you of your life force.
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you are not dealing with just human beings sometimes these things are very spiritual another thing is become completely indifferent.
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You don't care.
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You just don't care whether this person likes you, whether they hate you, should do absolutely nothing to you.
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You think that whatever happens, happens, but you're not trying to control it anymore.
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And you're just not pouring your energy into it anymore.
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Why?
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Because you need to pour that energy back into yourself.
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You need to come home back to yourself.
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You see, I really believe that toxic relationships
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are meant to bring you back home to yourself because they open your eyes like nothing else
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If you really want a spiritual awakening in life, you probably will go through one of the worst times of your life first.
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But after that, you will realize, wow, This is what I don't ever want to experience again.
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And you have clear boundaries after that.
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Another thing is just build a life full of success for yourself.
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Oh my God, all of this energy that you have right now that you poured into this person
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pour it back into yourself go to the gym go out
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with your friends do a lot of self -care watch motivational videos like do anything
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that uplifts you that makes you feel good about yourself because Finally, it's your time to shine!
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Don't be afraid to shine.
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It's okay to come back.
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These people might have treated you like you're nothing and like you're worthless, but that should not define you.
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However, someone treats you or whatever someone says about you.
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That is not your reality though.
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Whenever you talk to yourself, whenever you are with yourself, you uplift yourself.
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You know that you can still rebuild yourself back up again and again.
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It doesn't mean that, oh, this happened and that's it.
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You're done for life.
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No, you still have a whole life ahead of you.
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You can choose today like, oh my God, I'm so done with this.
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This is not what I deserve.
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And whatever doesn't align with your highest vision for yourself, You don't allow back into your life because honey, you hold the key.
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If you open that door for someone to come in and hurt you again and again, then that's on you because you're enabling that behavior.
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But if you just close that door, you're like, you know what?
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Go heel.
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heal, fix yourself and just focus on you, you will see your reality will completely start to shift.
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Also, if you're constantly giving these people chances in your life, what you're showing God in the universe is that this is what you're okay with.
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You don't want anything else.
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So what happens is your life just keeps being toxic, like draining.
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And these toxic people bring very bad situations into your life.
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Once you are like, I am done with this for good, I don't wanna experience this again, you will see how quickly your life will start to shift.
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You will meet people that are now on the vibration of, loyalty, self -respect, because you are showing God
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and you are showing the universe that this is what you want in life and that this is what you deserve.
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Let go of the potential outcome that you had in your head.
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See, we often defend toxic relationships or toxic situations because we're not defending them, we're defending ourselves.
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Because we put so much energy into them, we put so much time into them.
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So in our heads, we try to rationalize that somehow this was going to be a good outcome, or somehow you still have hope that this person will change
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and then all of your energy was not wasted or for nothing.
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But honey, I need you to let go of that.
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Because the potential that you see in others is not real.
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It's just what you think that you would do in their position.
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But they don't think that.
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They're just thinking my life is good, this person will stay regardless, so I'm gonna continue how I am.
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So when you realize like, you know what?
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I did put a lot of time into you.
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I did put a lot of effort, but right now I can stop.
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When you stop now, when you stop today, that's the best decision you can make.
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Because there's women that have spent 10 years, 25 years trying to change their partner has never happened.
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But any day that you think enough is enough, you will completely shift your reality.
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Also, stop taking their lack of love personal.
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It's not about you.
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When you are genuinely good to a person and they have faked their love with you or whatever, they have a lot of insecurities.
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These people have really bad beliefs.
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They have lack of morals and standards regardless.
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And these people are not going to be good with the next person either.
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Their behavior they take into their next relationship.
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So you shouldn't sit there and
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was about me no this person has a pattern they're gonna repeat it for the next one
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and you should just get out when you can Like literally think to yourself,
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thank God this person got revealed to me and I can leave.
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Also just come to terms of the fact that you don't own anyone and we don't own anything.
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Like any material thing we have, even your own children, you will not take them when you leave this earth.
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You will leave this earth alone.
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So when you know that, then it's very obvious that life is going to teach you detachment.
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you're gonna many times have to detach from people from situations again and again because
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why would you be attached to earth when that is not your home?
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Because no one should be your whole world.
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When that person leaves, you are left with nothing then.
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you should be your own world.
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Because whatever you are looking for is already within you.
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The magic you're looking for, the love you're looking for, the miracles you're looking for, abundance you're looking for is within you.
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you are that person and if you didn't have that inside of you, your soul wouldn't look for it or crave for it.
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So when you think like that, you think like, you know what, instead of me constantly trying to chase love from this person, Why don't I become love?
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Why don't I become loving to my friends and family, to people outside?
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And you will see that love will attract back to you when you give out the love that you have.
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but stop pouring it into empty cups and expecting these empty cups to fill you up
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They're empty they don't have anything it's like putting it in a drainage
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it's going nowhere instead you could fill people up
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that genuinely will fill you back and
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that will love you for who you are and you will understand that you are lovable and you are good enough.
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Also just understand they were not a heartbreak, they were a lesson.
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You needed that lesson to grow.
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I saw this video and it said basically that an empath right before the quantum leap
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they need to be with a narcissist and basically slay that dragon.
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So it's like your last level before you go into the reality that you're meant to be.
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And I can see that, honestly, because I feel like
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People that are really not good to you teach you a lot of things in life
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and they make you very very strong You don't become strong from good times
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or whatever you become strong because you went through bad times
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And so you are the strong person now that can handle a lot more things in life.
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So really see the blessings in that and be like, OK, wow, I did learn a lot.
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But then take your lessons and move on to the next level.
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Like, Quantum Leap.
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Don't stay there with them.
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Because they will honestly never change.
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Like, I saw even this video about, like.. narcissistic abuse and people like that.
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And this psychiatrist was talking about how like they will never change because they don't see why they should change.
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So, yeah, you can't change them.
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They are not going to get better.
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My mom for 25 years tried to change my dad.
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He never changed.
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He was promising her the world and whatever and all these things and she stayed and stayed and...
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nothing was ever true.
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So honestly, look at people's actions.
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What are they saying to you?
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Shouldn't even matter.
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Talk is free look at their actions, is their worth being backed by their actions?
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No, then why are you there?
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they're playing with you they're playing with your mind it's actually
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psychologically very dangerous for you to stay with these people
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because they're constantly lying to you so for you you're like what is real
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and what is not real and you're constantly questioning
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that to a point where you start even questioning your own thoughts you start questioning your own behavior and you start
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literally going a little insane.
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So you should be very, very careful because these people will drive you to insanity.
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And it's not a joke.
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And I promise you, once you let go of them, you're going to think to yourself, why was I even with this person?
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Like, you're going to literally be like, Oh my God, like, was I under a spell or something?
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Did this person do like magic on me?
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Because you're like, no way I tolerated this or no way I was.. with this person.
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Then you realize how ordinary they actually are, but you need to cut the cords.
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cut it completely cut them off they don't exist anymore that's it
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and honey i'm just telling you get ready
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because you are gonna be the baddest version of yourself like
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when you let go of someone like
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that you will see all of a sudden all of your
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opportunities will start coming in you become more beautiful you start
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glowing again like have you guys seen those videos of these women
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that were in toxic relationships and the way they used to look
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and then after have glow back in their face they look happier
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So once you let go of someone that is not good for you, you will see You're gonna start shining, honey, and you deserve to shine.
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You deserve to shine.
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Stop with the self abuse.
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Stop enabling their behavior.
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They will also never learn if you don't give them consequences.
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The most loving thing you can do is let them go.
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Anyways guys, I love you so much and yeah, I hope you guys learned something from this video and just know that you are loved.
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You are amazing and yeah, I love you.
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Bye bye.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 278 cümle ve 3591 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 18:27 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 195 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %89’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| toxic sıfat | /ˈtɒk.sɪk/ | toksik |
| honey isim | /ˈhʌni/ | bal |
| pour fiil | /poɹ/ | dökmek |
| shine fiil | /ʃaɪn/ | parlamak |
| anytime zarf | ne zaman olursa | |
| miracle isim | /ˈmɪɹ.ə.kəl/ | mucize, tansık |
| consequence isim | /ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/ | sonuç, netice |
| addict isim | /ˈæd.ɪkt/ | bağımlı, müptela |
| defend fiil | /dɪˈfɪnd/ | savunmak, korumak |
| lesson isim | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | ders, çimke |
| spiritual sıfat | /ˈspɪɹɪt͡ʃuəl/ | spiritüel, tinsel |
| remind fiil | /ɹəˈmaɪnd/ | hatırlatmak, anımsatmak |
| drain isim | /dɹiːn/ | gider, yağmur gideri |
| therapist isim | /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/ | terapist |
| happiness isim | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | mutluluk, saadet |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| fill out fiil | /fɪl ˈaʊt/ | doldurmak |
| get off fiil | inmek | |
| go out fiil | çıkmak | |
| pass away fiil | göçmek, Hakk'ın rahmetine kavuşmak |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, don't, they're gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 110 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/, worthless /ˈwɜːθ.ləs/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/, thrive /θɹajv/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: shine /ʃaɪn/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, intention /ɪnˈtɛnʃn̩/, shoe /ˈʃu/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, ordinary /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/, insanity /ɪnˈsænɪti/, psychiatrist /ˌsaɪˈkaɪ.ə.tɹɪst/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; toxic, honey, pour gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | be stroked · are not attached · being treated |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | has thought · has done · has lived |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | today which is · addict, which is |
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.