Shadowing Practice: How to detach and demand respect - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
1
Do you feel like people walk all over you?
2
Do you feel like anytime you are nice to people or you try to people please, Somehow people just disrespect you even more.
3
Are you tired of this behavior?
4
Well, you're at the right video.
5
Because in this video, I will explain to you how you need to have very strong boundaries
6
if you are an empath or a people pleaser.
7
And also how you need to detach from people, especially toxic relationship, toxic friends, work, whatever.
8
Let's take a toxic relationship, for example.
9
Anytime that person does something to you and whatever they do, you just stay you're like, "Okay, whatever, we'll work through it." What do you think that that person is going to do?
10
They're not going to get better.
11
Why?
12
Because they never got a consequence for their action.
13
Like, their life never changed, or you never stopped talking to them, you never set up any boundaries, so why would they change? their life is still the same no matter what they do.
14
Even if we look at children, for example, if my child does something wrong, there's going to be a consequence, because then my child understands that that was wrong and this is going to happen if they do that again.
15
The same thing should be with adults and humans.
16
You should let them know like, hey, listen, I am not your punching bag.
17
If you do this to me or if you cross this boundary, I will remove complete access to me.
18
Hi guys, my name is Liz and welcome back to my channel.
19
Okay, let's get into it.
20
First things first.
21
First thing you should think to yourself is what is your end goal?
22
What are you trying to achieve here?
23
Look, for example, with a toxic relationship that you cannot let go of.
24
Okay, so you're gonna text them again.
25
You're gonna invite them back into your life after they did you wrong.
26
And then what? like okay your ego is gonna be stroked a little bit
27
and you're gonna feel a little better about yourself.
28
But in the future, do you think that that person is your ideal person?
29
Genuinely ask yourself like what are you really doing here?
30
Because at the end of the day, you are the one pouring in all of your energy, you are the one just wasting your time.
31
and every single time a woman has thought
32
or a man has thought like "oh my god I can change this person" they don't change
33
because first of all there's no consequence
34
and second of all no one can change anyone they should do
35
that by themselves and it should come from them and not from you forcing something upon someone That doesn't want to change.
36
Another thing is the person that is not afraid to walk away holds all the power.
37
A person that is not afraid to eat alone, a person that is not afraid to lose that job,
38
lose that friendship, lose that partner is the one that is most powerful because they are not attached to another human being.
39
A human being doesn't give them everything that they need because they know that they are complete by themselves.
40
So a person like that just thinks like
41
if this person doesn't add to my happiness or if this job doesn't add to my happiness, then I will find something else or I will have something better.
42
Like this is not the best that I can get.
43
And I think a lot of people that are in the mindset of they're so afraid to leave, just dilute themselves into thinking that they will never get anything better.
44
And that is what the person that you're with wants you to think.
45
Because you will notice, like, for example, in a lot of toxic relationships, these people thrive on the fact that they make you insecure.
46
And what happens now is they're constantly making you insecure.
47
They're constantly doing things to you and they're crossing your boundaries constantly.
48
And because you're allowing them, you start thinking to yourself, this is the best that I can get.
49
reality is someone that is constantly treating you badly So you can't even see a greater future for yourself.
50
But honey, I'm here to tell you, there's people being treated very well.
51
No, not everyone cheats on everyone.
52
There's people that are loyal to each other.
53
There's people that love their partners so much.
54
There's people that are doing a job that they love, and you can have that too.
55
The minute you start thinking like, This is not what I deserve.
56
I deserve so much better than this.
57
I deserve to be treated like a queen because you are divine.
58
You are so beautiful and you're literally a miracle, a miracle walking on this earth.
59
Treat yourself as a miracle.
60
Stop letting these people and these abusers keep you small because that's where they want you.
61
They know that once you realize your potential, they know that once you wake up to your power, that it's over for everyone.
62
All those friends that hate you, all those people that bully you, all those toxic relationships, they do not want you to grow.
63
As humans, we have a great capacity to feel deeply
64
and to find ways to move on but to keep on living at the same time.
65
With loss, we don't just miss people but we miss how easy it felt to feel belonged and loved.
66
Stalgia can make the past feel better than it really is and it can make the present feel like there's something missing.
67
you that the connection isn't gone.
68
It might take more intention to remember.
69
This is a reminder to try and stay present
70
and invest in what you have while still holding your past memories with warmth.
71
I definitely feel nostalgic when I look at the pictures during my pregnancy
72
because I didn't get to have the best pregnancy experience
73
but I genuinely think that I was meant to go through these things to become the person
74
that I am today which is way more resilient which is way more
75
BetterHelp is a sponsor of today's video and they are on a mission to make therapy way easier.
76
BetterHelp, a therapist will listen, ask questions, and help you see things from a new perspective.
77
BetterHelp starting therapy couldn't be easier.
78
You fill out a questionnaire and you'll get matched with a therapist in as little as a couple days.
79
BetterHelp will match you with a therapist based on your preferences, their own clinical experience, and over a decade of matching expertise.
80
lizard list to get 10 % off your first month therapy.
81
Another thing is your emotions are not that reliable, especially when you're in a toxic situation or a toxic relationship.
82
What happens is you will start acting like an addict.
83
A toxic relationship is even more addictive than a healthy one because a toxic one gives you dopamine spikes and then down.
84
And it's constantly like that.
85
So your body and your brain will start to crave that person.
86
Because anytime you guys fight, then you make up and it gives you that adrenaline and dopamine spike.
87
So what in that moment you should think is when you're missing that person, you're not missing that person.
88
You're behaving like an addict right now.
89
And you should tell yourself that.
90
And you will literally need to withdraw from that situation like an addict, which is go cold turkey.
91
You cut this out.
92
Also realize that why did it end?
93
If your relationship was that great, if that person was that good, why did it end?
94
Why did you not want to be there anymore?
95
And remind yourself of that.
96
Like the same way addicts should remind themselves of how shitty they feel when they indulge in an addiction.
97
is you should remind yourself how shitty that person makes you feel, how shitty that friend makes you feel, or how shitty that job makes you feel.
98
Another thing is stop explaining yourself.
99
You do not owe an explanation to someone that did you dirty.
100
Shouldn't expect anything from you.
101
You shouldn't explain why you left, whatever.
102
Like if someone has done you dirty and they knew that that would hurt you, that's it.
103
You don't even need closure.
104
You walk away in silence because anytime you will start to argue with them and explain and this and that,
105
it shows that you can still be manipulated there because that other person is going to be like, oh, but I didn't mean it like that.
106
And I think you're overreacting and starting to gaslight you.
107
So you start to question yourself.
108
See, you see the pattern of this person constantly, you have this reality and this person is constantly twisting your reality.
109
So at some point you're going to be like, am I crazy?
110
Am I even able to trust myself?
111
So in the moment when you make a decision, when you know that something hurts you, stick to that decision and stick with it with pride.
112
Yeah.
113
You walked away and you know why you walked away.
114
No one lives in your shoes.
115
No one has lived the life that you lived.
116
You know what you went through.
117
You know how it felt.
118
So you're entitled.
119
to do what you think is best for you.
120
Also giving them any type of reaction
121
or "oh I'm gonna make them jealous with posting this posting
122
that" it's like yeah you're just constantly showing this person that you still care Stop, like literally hold a funeral in your head for this person.
123
Like this person doesn't exist anymore.
124
Just remove all of your energy, honey.
125
Oh my God, you have put so much energy into that other person, into that toxic situation that you gave all of your power away.
126
but it's not a bad thing because you can still get all of that power back.
127
Like genuinely cut the courts with that person because they're feeding off of you.
128
You know it's even crazier, I saw this one girl online and she said when she did a cord cutting with her ex A week later, they passed away.
129
These things are very spiritual because a lot of people
130
that are toxic and constantly trying to get a reaction out of you are draining you of your energy, are draining you of your life force.
131
you are not dealing with just human beings sometimes these things are very spiritual another thing is become completely indifferent.
132
You don't care.
133
You just don't care whether this person likes you, whether they hate you, should do absolutely nothing to you.
134
You think that whatever happens, happens, but you're not trying to control it anymore.
135
And you're just not pouring your energy into it anymore.
136
Why?
137
Because you need to pour that energy back into yourself.
138
You need to come home back to yourself.
139
You see, I really believe that toxic relationships
140
are meant to bring you back home to yourself because they open your eyes like nothing else
141
If you really want a spiritual awakening in life, you probably will go through one of the worst times of your life first.
142
But after that, you will realize, wow, This is what I don't ever want to experience again.
143
And you have clear boundaries after that.
144
Another thing is just build a life full of success for yourself.
145
Oh my God, all of this energy that you have right now that you poured into this person
146
pour it back into yourself go to the gym go out
147
with your friends do a lot of self -care watch motivational videos like do anything
148
that uplifts you that makes you feel good about yourself because Finally, it's your time to shine!
149
Don't be afraid to shine.
150
It's okay to come back.
151
These people might have treated you like you're nothing and like you're worthless, but that should not define you.
152
However, someone treats you or whatever someone says about you.
153
That is not your reality though.
154
Whenever you talk to yourself, whenever you are with yourself, you uplift yourself.
155
You know that you can still rebuild yourself back up again and again.
156
It doesn't mean that, oh, this happened and that's it.
157
You're done for life.
158
No, you still have a whole life ahead of you.
159
You can choose today like, oh my God, I'm so done with this.
160
This is not what I deserve.
161
And whatever doesn't align with your highest vision for yourself, You don't allow back into your life because honey, you hold the key.
162
If you open that door for someone to come in and hurt you again and again, then that's on you because you're enabling that behavior.
163
But if you just close that door, you're like, you know what?
164
Go heel.
165
heal, fix yourself and just focus on you, you will see your reality will completely start to shift.
166
Also, if you're constantly giving these people chances in your life, what you're showing God in the universe is that this is what you're okay with.
167
You don't want anything else.
168
So what happens is your life just keeps being toxic, like draining.
169
And these toxic people bring very bad situations into your life.
170
Once you are like, I am done with this for good, I don't wanna experience this again, you will see how quickly your life will start to shift.
171
You will meet people that are now on the vibration of, loyalty, self -respect, because you are showing God
172
and you are showing the universe that this is what you want in life and that this is what you deserve.
173
Let go of the potential outcome that you had in your head.
174
See, we often defend toxic relationships or toxic situations because we're not defending them, we're defending ourselves.
175
Because we put so much energy into them, we put so much time into them.
176
So in our heads, we try to rationalize that somehow this was going to be a good outcome, or somehow you still have hope that this person will change
177
and then all of your energy was not wasted or for nothing.
178
But honey, I need you to let go of that.
179
Because the potential that you see in others is not real.
180
It's just what you think that you would do in their position.
181
But they don't think that.
182
They're just thinking my life is good, this person will stay regardless, so I'm gonna continue how I am.
183
So when you realize like, you know what?
184
I did put a lot of time into you.
185
I did put a lot of effort, but right now I can stop.
186
When you stop now, when you stop today, that's the best decision you can make.
187
Because there's women that have spent 10 years, 25 years trying to change their partner has never happened.
188
But any day that you think enough is enough, you will completely shift your reality.
189
Also, stop taking their lack of love personal.
190
It's not about you.
191
When you are genuinely good to a person and they have faked their love with you or whatever, they have a lot of insecurities.
192
These people have really bad beliefs.
193
They have lack of morals and standards regardless.
194
And these people are not going to be good with the next person either.
195
Their behavior they take into their next relationship.
196
So you shouldn't sit there and
197
was about me no this person has a pattern they're gonna repeat it for the next one
198
and you should just get out when you can Like literally think to yourself,
199
thank God this person got revealed to me and I can leave.
200
Also just come to terms of the fact that you don't own anyone and we don't own anything.
201
Like any material thing we have, even your own children, you will not take them when you leave this earth.
202
You will leave this earth alone.
203
So when you know that, then it's very obvious that life is going to teach you detachment.
204
you're gonna many times have to detach from people from situations again and again because
205
why would you be attached to earth when that is not your home?
206
Because no one should be your whole world.
207
When that person leaves, you are left with nothing then.
208
you should be your own world.
209
Because whatever you are looking for is already within you.
210
The magic you're looking for, the love you're looking for, the miracles you're looking for, abundance you're looking for is within you.
211
you are that person and if you didn't have that inside of you, your soul wouldn't look for it or crave for it.
212
So when you think like that, you think like, you know what, instead of me constantly trying to chase love from this person, Why don't I become love?
213
Why don't I become loving to my friends and family, to people outside?
214
And you will see that love will attract back to you when you give out the love that you have.
215
but stop pouring it into empty cups and expecting these empty cups to fill you up
216
They're empty they don't have anything it's like putting it in a drainage
217
it's going nowhere instead you could fill people up
218
that genuinely will fill you back and
219
that will love you for who you are and you will understand that you are lovable and you are good enough.
220
Also just understand they were not a heartbreak, they were a lesson.
221
You needed that lesson to grow.
222
I saw this video and it said basically that an empath right before the quantum leap
223
they need to be with a narcissist and basically slay that dragon.
224
So it's like your last level before you go into the reality that you're meant to be.
225
And I can see that, honestly, because I feel like
226
People that are really not good to you teach you a lot of things in life
227
and they make you very very strong You don't become strong from good times
228
or whatever you become strong because you went through bad times
229
And so you are the strong person now that can handle a lot more things in life.
230
So really see the blessings in that and be like, OK, wow, I did learn a lot.
231
But then take your lessons and move on to the next level.
232
Like, Quantum Leap.
233
Don't stay there with them.
234
Because they will honestly never change.
235
Like, I saw even this video about, like.. narcissistic abuse and people like that.
236
And this psychiatrist was talking about how like they will never change because they don't see why they should change.
237
So, yeah, you can't change them.
238
They are not going to get better.
239
My mom for 25 years tried to change my dad.
240
He never changed.
241
He was promising her the world and whatever and all these things and she stayed and stayed and...
242
nothing was ever true.
243
So honestly, look at people's actions.
244
What are they saying to you?
245
Shouldn't even matter.
246
Talk is free look at their actions, is their worth being backed by their actions?
247
No, then why are you there?
248
they're playing with you they're playing with your mind it's actually
249
psychologically very dangerous for you to stay with these people
250
because they're constantly lying to you so for you you're like what is real
251
and what is not real and you're constantly questioning
252
that to a point where you start even questioning your own thoughts you start questioning your own behavior and you start
253
literally going a little insane.
254
So you should be very, very careful because these people will drive you to insanity.
255
And it's not a joke.
256
And I promise you, once you let go of them, you're going to think to yourself, why was I even with this person?
257
Like, you're going to literally be like, Oh my God, like, was I under a spell or something?
258
Did this person do like magic on me?
259
Because you're like, no way I tolerated this or no way I was.. with this person.
260
Then you realize how ordinary they actually are, but you need to cut the cords.
261
cut it completely cut them off they don't exist anymore that's it
262
and honey i'm just telling you get ready
263
because you are gonna be the baddest version of yourself like
264
when you let go of someone like
265
that you will see all of a sudden all of your
266
opportunities will start coming in you become more beautiful you start
267
glowing again like have you guys seen those videos of these women
268
that were in toxic relationships and the way they used to look
269
and then after have glow back in their face they look happier
270
So once you let go of someone that is not good for you, you will see You're gonna start shining, honey, and you deserve to shine.
271
You deserve to shine.
272
Stop with the self abuse.
273
Stop enabling their behavior.
274
They will also never learn if you don't give them consequences.
275
The most loving thing you can do is let them go.
276
Anyways guys, I love you so much and yeah, I hope you guys learned something from this video and just know that you are loved.
277
You are amazing and yeah, I love you.
278
Bye bye.
📺 Same Channel
B21
Loving God will change your life
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
You don’t like yourself? Create a new version of yourself
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B1How to stop overthinking
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
Time to get confident baby
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
I don’t care if you don’t like me, you don’t even like yourself
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B15
I ruined my hair and I love it
Business EnglishTeensDaily Conversation
B25
Why I decided to end my relationship
TeensDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
How to never feel embarrassed again
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
Be better or stay bitter
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
Watch this to believe in yourself
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B12
Listen to this everyday to become magnetic
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B12
What to do when someone makes you feel insecure
TeensDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B22
How to create your dream reality
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
How to create succes
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B15
Confidence baby
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B13
How to protect your energy
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
How to manifest a new life
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B12
You are a clown
TeensDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B23
How to become rich
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
How to get over heartbreak FAST
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
✨ Recommend Video
B2420
11 sentences
never ever put me in a position where I have to show you how ruthless I can bebe #denzelwashington
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B216 sentences
Stop inviting them back to ypur life #discipline #relationships #movingon #selfimprovement
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
12 sentences
7k
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
326 sentences
How to Protect Your Peace 😌 Simple steps for stress-free living
American AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
117 sentences
Are you a giver or taker?
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
185 sentences
Seriously, I'm Begging You to Focus on Your Self Before It's Too Late
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
37 sentences
When They Ignore You, Do This Instead #stoicism #selflove #facts
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2444 sentences
people you should watch out for (how to spot toxic friends)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B214 sentences
Why Obsession Runs Out And Never Returns
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B24
91 sentences
Cringe Memories that Keep Coming Back: How to Let Them Go for Good
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
17 sentences
How To Deal With Someone Who is Emotionally Immature
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
319 sentences
How to ACTUALLY Let Them?
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 278 sentences and 3591 words to shadow. The speech runs for 18:27. The speaker talks fast, about 195 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 89% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| toxic adjective | /ˈtɒk.sɪk/ | Having a chemical nature that is harmful to health or lethal if consumed or otherwise entering into the body in sufficient quantities. |
| honey noun | /ˈhʌni/ | A sweet, viscous, gold-colored fluid produced from plant nectar by bees, and often consumed by humans. |
| pour verb | /poɹ/ | To cause (liquid, or liquid-like substance) to flow in a stream, either out of a container or into it. |
| shine verb | /ʃaɪn/ | To emit or reflect light so as to glow. |
| boundary noun | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | The dividing line or location between two areas. |
| genuinely adverb | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | In a genuine manner; truthfully, truly. |
| anytime adverb | At any time. | |
| miracle noun | /ˈmɪɹ.ə.kəl/ | An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin. |
| consequence noun | /ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/ | An effect; something that follows a cause as a result. |
| addict noun | /ˈæd.ɪkt/ | A person who is addicted, especially to a harmful drug. |
| defend verb | /dɪˈfɪnd/ | To ward off attacks against (something or someone). |
| lesson noun | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | A section of learning or teaching into which a wider learning content is divided. |
| spiritual adjective | /ˈspɪɹɪt͡ʃuəl/ | Of or pertaining to the spirit or the soul. |
| remind verb | /ɹəˈmaɪnd/ | To cause one to experience a memory (of someone or something); to bring to the notice or consideration (of a person). |
| drain noun | /dɹiːn/ | A conduit allowing liquid to flow out of an otherwise contained volume; a plughole (UK) |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. | |
| walk away verb | To withdraw from a problematic situation. | |
| back up verb | To move backwards, especially for a vehicle to do so. | |
| come back verb | To return to a place. | |
| fill out verb | /fɪl ˈaʊt/ | To complete a form or questionnaire with requested information. |
| get off verb | To move from being on top of (something) to not being on top of it. | |
| get out verb | To leave or escape. | |
| give out verb | To utter, publish; to announce, proclaim, report. |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 110 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/, worthless /ˈwɜːθ.ləs/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/, thrive /θɹajv/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: shine /ʃaɪn/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, intention /ɪnˈtɛnʃn̩/, shoe /ˈʃu/
- Long words — get the stress right: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, ordinary /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/, insanity /ɪnˈsænɪti/, psychiatrist /ˌsaɪˈkaɪ.ə.tɹɪst/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like toxic, honey, pour.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | be stroked · are not attached · being treated |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has thought · has done · has lived |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | today which is · addict, which is |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.