Shadowing Practice: Let people be wrong about you - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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Let people be wrong about you.
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Let them.
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Letting people be wrong about you without you feeling the need to explain yourself, to prove yourself is really one of the most freeing and healing things you can do for yourself.
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Trust me.
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And in this video I'm going to teach you how you can do it, how you can become that person who doesn't care what anyone else thinks of you
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and who is okay with not being liked by everyone.
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Because you know what?
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You can't be liked by everyone.
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Even the best person on this planet is the bad guy
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in someone's story okay there's nothing you can do about it
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and still you waste
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so much of your precious time trying to prove yourself trying to prove to other people
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that you are the good person so
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if you want to stop wasting your precious time then keep on watching this video
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and don't forget to subscribe to my channel
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and i would say let's start with the first thing you
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cannot control someone else's perception of you you need to understand
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that people don't see you as you are people see you through their lens through their lens
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that means they see you through their experiences through their triggers
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and through their insecurities okay
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and this is also why five different people can have five different versions of you in their head
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and if you always try to make everyone like you
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and to control everyone's perception of you that's it's going to
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be a full -time job it's going to be a full -time job
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and a full -time job that doesn't get you anywhere
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because it's impossible it's impossible okay you really need to understand
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that just because someone has an opinion of you it doesn't make it the truth someone might think
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that you are selfish because you did something
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and the person interpreted what you did as being selfish okay
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does it make it true no it doesn't make it true this person has
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that interpretation of you but that doesn't make it true
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and you really need to let go of
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that need to control everyone else's perception of you really this is such a waste of time
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because your job in this life is not to make everyone
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like you to make everyone understand you your job is to
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be true to yourself your job is to be your authentic self
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and not to change yourself just
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so you can be liked by everyone the next thing is
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not everyone wants to like you okay you really need to realize
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that not everyone wants to like you
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so first of all you can't control their perception
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and second of all there will be people who simply don't
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want to like you no matter what you do some people
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already decided who you are they created a version of you in their head
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and they refuse to see anything else they refuse to see anything else
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because they don't want to they simply don't want to
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and those are also the people who only wait for you
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to make a mistake to say something dumb to say something hurtful
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because everyone makes mistakes okay but some people are only waiting for you to make mistakes
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so they can justify why they don't like you
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so you really need to make peace with not being liked by everyone
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and also with the fact
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that not everyone wants to like you no matter how good
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you are the next thing is you need to stop defending
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yourself okay you don't always have to prove your point you don't always have to prove
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that you're a good person and to explain
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when you're like in a fight with someone
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and explain to them why they are wrong why you are right why you are a good person
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and why they are unfair to you you don't have to do
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that you can choose your piece and just let it go
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and move on okay i recently had a situation where i
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had a relationship with a person a friendship not a relation not a romantic relationship
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and this person had very strict expectations of where our relationship is supposed to go okay
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and i'm a person i'm like a go with the flow
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kind of person i don't have expectations of where where a
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relationship should go i just go with the flow okay
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and i am also a person i don't open up very fast
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and if i don't feel comfortable around you i won't open up
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and this person got so hurt by me
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because i did not put the same effort in this friendship as she did even though i always told her
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that i need my time and
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that i can't force anything okay i always told her
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that i never lied to her and still just
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because she expected something else she got so mad at me
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that she said things to me that are very hurtful they didn't hurt me
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because i know who i am okay but she said
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so many mean things to me just because i didn't fulfill her expectations okay
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and in the past i was a person
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that always felt the need to explain myself i couldn't live with the fact
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that people thought that i was a bad person
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because i i'm not okay i'm not a bad person i'm a very good person
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and i always felt the need to prove that to everyone okay
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and you know what never not once in my life where
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i got into an argument trying to prove my point trying to prove
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that my intentions were good not once in my life i could change the other person's mind okay
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never when someone as i said when someone has a version of you in their head
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they don't want to change it
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and you can't do anything about it you proving yourself
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and you explaining yourself the whole time won't get you anywhere
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so you really need to start being okay with people seeing you through their own eyes
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and not feeling the need to um defend yourself okay well i don't mean not feeling the need okay
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because i also felt the need to defend myself
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but i didn't do it okay you need to have a little self -control
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and if you notice that a person doesn't want to understand you
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that you just let it be okay you just let it be
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so i really learned to just protect my peace
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and to not go into an argument to an argument with
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someone who already created their version of me in their head okay
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and to do that to just let it go and not argue
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and not prove yourself you really need to develop a strong
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sense of self you need to develop you need to have such a strong sense of self
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that no matter what someone tells you you don't care you don't care okay
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because you know who you are
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when you know who you are other people's opinions lose power as i said this person said
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so many mean things to me you're this you're dead you're not honest you're bullshit whatever
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and it didn't get to me at all because i know
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that it's not true she can say about me whatever she
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wants it doesn't make it true it doesn't make it true
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okay your character is not defined by the opinions other people have of you okay
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and i don't mean don't ever listen to anyone
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and everyone always wants bad for you that's not what i'm
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saying you need to have some kind of self -reflection okay
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and you need to be able to think about what someone says
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when someone criticizes you in a good way you can think about it is
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that person right and then you can if you need and
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if you want to you can change it but
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if someone just throws things at you
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and wants to tell you who you are blah blah blah blah blah
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and you know
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that those things aren't true you don't have to make them your identity okay you need to be
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so confident and so sure about yourself
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that no matter what anyone else says it doesn't change anything
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and the same goes with compliments actually when you know who you are
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and when you're confident in yourself
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and someone makes you a compliment it's nice it's a nice to have
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but that compliment doesn't define you what you also need to understand is
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that when you grow when you become a new version of yourself
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when you outgrow your old self not everyone will like it okay that's very sad
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but not everyone will like the new version of you
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because they're not comfortable with you growing okay even
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if those are your friends some people are just not comfortable
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with you growing i know that's not easy to accept
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but it is the truth that's how life goes
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when you grow people might tell you you've changed
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so much you're not the same anymore you think you're better than us now
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and you know what this is the time you notice
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that you have outgrown someone and that and
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that this person is not meant to be in your life forever okay
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because people who are actually meant for you will support you with anything okay even
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if you change even if you're not the same anymore they know
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that this doesn't have to be a bad thing okay the right people know
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that you changing does not have to be a bad thing
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and then they don't feel threatened by you changing many people
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who say things like you're not the same anymore you think
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you're better than me now blah blah blah they feel threatened by you
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because you have become a new version you have become a better version of yourself
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and they are just staying the same they're not getting anywhere
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and this is why they feel threatened by you
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when someone tells me you have changed
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so much you're not the same anymore I see
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that as a compliment okay I say thank you thank you
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because I don't want to be the same I was five
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years ago five years ago I was 20 I'm 25 now
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I don't want to be the same person with 25 I
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was at 20 that's not what I want out of this life
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and if you feel threatened by me growing out and be
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and becoming a better version of myself then you're just not the right person for me
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and as I said I actually think this is a very sad thing
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because I want people I like to grow with me okay I want them to grow with me
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and that we grow together and even
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if a friend of mine grows in a different direction than me I support them I support them
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because I love them and I want them to be happy okay
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and I don't feel threatened by someone choosing a different life path than I have chosen okay
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so you need to understand even people
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that were in your life for a very long time and
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that you really like will not always want to see you grow
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but on the other hand there will be right people who
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are meant to be in your life who will support you with anything okay
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and this is the beautiful part about it you will lose people
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when you stop shrinking yourself just to be liked by everyone
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and when you finally grow but you will also get to know new people
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or you will realize who are the real people
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that are already in your life and realizing this is actually
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so beautiful because knowing that you have people in your life
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that support you no matter what you do and no matter in
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which direction you want to go and they don't judge you.
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Those are the people you should really spend your time with.
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You should really not spend your time trying to control people's perception of you, trying to be liked by everyone because what does it get you
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when you try to change yourself just to be liked by people who don't even want to like you?
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There's no benefit for you.
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It's such a waste of time.
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Instead, focus on the people who actually like you and who support you.
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So that's it for today's video.
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I really hope it was helpful and I would say I'll see you in my next one.
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Why Letting People Be Wrong About You Matters in Daily Life
Imagine a scenario where a colleague misinterprets your decision to focus on a project as selfishness, or a friend assumes you’re distant because you missed a call. In these moments, the urge to explain yourself can feel overwhelming. But the video argues that resisting this urge is freeing—because others’ perceptions are shaped by their own experiences, not your truth. This common situation highlights a key life skill: letting go of the need to control how others see you. For English learners, exploring such real-life dialogues not only builds language skills but also emotional intelligence.
Useful Chunks & Collocations to Memorize
- "Let people be wrong about you": A powerful phrase to describe releasing the need to correct others.
- "Waste of precious time": Natural way to emphasize unproductive actions, like over-explaining.
- "See through their lens": Metaphor for how others judge based on their own experiences.
- "Refuse to see anything else": Phrase to describe someone stuck in their own assumptions.
- "Justify why they don't like you": Common collocation for explaining negative opinions.
These chunks are perfect for english speaking practice because they’re used in everyday conversations about relationships and self-awareness.
Your Shadowing Challenge
Shadowing is a proven technique to improve pronunciation and fluency—and this video is ideal for practice. Here’s your task: Find a 30-second clip of the speaker discussing "letting go of others’ perceptions." Play the clip, pause, and repeat it aloud, mimicking the tone and rhythm. Focus on phrases like "your job is to be true to yourself"—notice how the speaker stresses "true" and "authentic." For extra practice, use a shadowing site to record yourself and compare it to the original. This "shadowspeak" exercise will help you sound more natural in English while internalizing the video’s message. Remember, the goal isn’t just to repeat words, but to capture the emotion behind them—confidence in being yourself.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | being liked · can't be liked · can be liked |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | person who doesn · people who simply · people who only |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | you've changed · have become · have changed |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.