Shadowing Practice: How to STOP comparing yourself to others - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Are you constantly comparing yourself to other people and feeling miserable about it?
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I think you are because you clicked on this video, but that's no problem because I am here to save you.
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I am here to teach you how you can finally stop comparing yourself
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because comparing yourself to other people constantly is literally one of the worst things you can do for yourself.
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There's that quote that says comparison is the thief of joy
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and it's so true
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because no matter how good your life is how pretty you are how successful you are
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if you constantly compare yourself to other people it will never feel enough
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because there will always be someone trust me
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there will always be someone who is better than you in
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something who is prettier than you who is more successful than
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you who has who has more privileges than you whatever
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if you look for it you will find it
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so by constantly comparing yourself you are literally making yourself feel miserable
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because you will never never never never ever feel enough
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if you always look at others why should you always look for everyone else
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if you know
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that this makes you feel miserable instead of just looking at yourself you should take your time
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and you should take your energy and put it back into yourself okay
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so the first thing i really need you to understand is
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that someone else being good does not make you less you really need to understand it
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because people who tend to compare themselves a lot they tend to feel bad
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when someone else has something good when someone else is pretty they feel less
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when someone else is successful they feel less and this is
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so bad because as i said there will always be someone who is good at something
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or better at something than you are and when other people's achievements
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or when other people's privileges make you feel less this is this is not good okay this is
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so bad for your confidence i once heard that quote
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that says another person's beauty is not the absence of your own
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and i love this quote because this is
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so true other people's success other people's beauty other people's whatever does not have any impact on your life
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you need to understand this just
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because someone else is pretty it does not make you less pretty just
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because someone else is successful it does not make you less successful
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and when you really understand this point you will become
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so much more confident because you finally stop feeling like everyone else is better than you.
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And also beauty, let's take beauty in this example, beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.
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Everyone else has a different definition of beauty or attractiveness or whatever.
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You might look at someone and you wish you look like them
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because you feel like they're the prettiest girl in the world.
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But at the same time, someone else might look at you thinking the same thing about you,
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even though you don't think this about yourself you really need to understand
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that beauty is always in the eye of the beholder
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and i once read a quote i know in this video this video is full of quotes
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but i love them a quote that said flowers are pretty
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but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike sunsets
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and flowers do not have to compete with each other
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because both are beautiful in their own way someone might think
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that flowers are more beautiful someone might think that sunsets are more beautiful
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but there is beauty in everything really in everything and just
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because someone might like sunsets more than flowers it does not change
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that both of them are beautiful even though not everyone thinks
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that both of them are equally beautiful okay the next thing i want you to understand is
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that you really need to remember
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that you always just see a little part in someone else's story okay
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you most of the time we don't see the whole story of someone else
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we just see their lives we see that their lives look perfect we see
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that they are successful they are beautiful whatever
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and we are like oh my gosh i wish i was them
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i wish i looked like them i wish i had their life they are
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so lucky whatever but i don't think
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that you really want to trade your life with someone else
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because you never really know what someone else had to go through to get to where they are right
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now i once saw a video where someone said imagine everyone
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on this planet would put their problems in one pot including yourself of course
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and without looking you would have to pick someone else's problem
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and you would have to trade your problems with this person's problems would you take
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that risk i don't think that you would i really thought about this
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and i was like no
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when i really imagine what kind of things happen on this planet i would not i have my problems
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and i don't like my problems i need to say this
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but i would not want to trade problems with anyone else really
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because everyone everyone has their problems okay everyone has their difficulties in life
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and even though it doesn't look like it trust me everyone has their struggles just look at me for example
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i don't look like what i went through you just see how i look
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you see what i'm doing you see that i make youtube videos
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and you might think oh my god she's so lucky whatever
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but you don't know what i went through
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and you don't know what i had to do to get to this point in my life okay okay
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i have to say you know
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because I'm talking about my life on this channel more than I'm talking about it in my real life
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because you are my little
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youtube family but really the next time before you compare yourself to someone else remind yourself
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that you don't see their full story
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and even though they look like they're the luckiest person on this planet
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you don't really know what goes on in their lives
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and this is also unfair to you to just compare yourself to the good things you are seeing
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but you are letting out all the bad things you're not seeing
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and this is also the reason why you should only compare yourself to your past self
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because as i said there will
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if you look for it there will always be someone who
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is better than you in something more successful more pretty blah blah blah i already said it
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and you can't change anything about it you will feel so helpless
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because just looking at other people will make you feel like you are the victim you're just sitting there
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and feeling like everyone else is more privileged than you everyone else has a better life than you
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and you will you will end up being a victim in your own story
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but when you compare yourself to yourself only
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and to your past self you can actually do something
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when you didn't like
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that you were lazy yesterday you actually have the power to change it today you can say i didn't like
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that i didn't do anything productive yesterday today i'm going to have the most productive day ever
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so your goal should not be to be better than everyone else
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or to catch up with everyone else your goal should be to be better than the person
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you were yesterday okay but what can be helpful
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when you compare yourself to other people instead of envying them is to turn your comparison into inspiration
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because most of the time
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when people compare themselves to other people they kind of feel jealous
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that this person has something that they would want to have too
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but when you let yourself be jealous of other people you will become miserable
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because jealousy is a disease jealousy is a disease the feeling is normal the feeling of jealousy is normal
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but how we handle this feeling can really change the outcome you can sit there
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and say they don't really deserve it they're too lucky they didn't have to work for it whatever
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or you can ask yourself why do i feel jealous right now you really need to be conscious of yourself
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and ask yourself why do i feel jealous right now do i want the same thing
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that this person has and
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if the answer is yes the answer can be yes then instead of just sitting there
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and victimizing yourself ask yourself what can i do to achieve the same thing
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this is also an opportunity to get your power back because
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when you just sit there and feel jealous nothing will change
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but when you ask yourself what can i do to achieve the same thing you take your power back
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because at this point you can do something
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you can act let's say the person
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you're jealous of has a nice toned body whatever instead of just sitting there
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and being jealous of her ask yourself do i want the
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same thing do i also want a nice toned body and
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if the answer is yes ask yourself what can i do to achieve
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this goal do i need to watch what i'm eating do
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i need to go to the gym more do i have
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to increase my daily steps what do i have to do
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and then you can work towards that goal it's really
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so helpful for you when you can catch yourself
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when you compare yourself and being honest to yourself that you
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that you are feeling a little jealous right now
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but then instead of victimizing yourself
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and feeling bad about yourself turning this comparison into inspiration
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and actually taking action in your own life this will really change everything it will change your life
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because you are taking action and it will also change how you feel about yourself
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and you will stop feeling so miserable just
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because someone else has something nice
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and the last thing i want to say in this video is
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that you really need to focus on your own path okay i told you
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that you can turn your comparison into inspiration yes
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but the message of this video is
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that you need to focus on yourself okay because
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when you're constantly busy looking at everyone else
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and comparing yourself to everyone else
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there will be no time left to look at yourself
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there will be no time left to look at your own path
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and this is why i'm always saying it's
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so important to limit your social media consumption
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because the the biggest source of comparison
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we have today is social media our brains are not made
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to look at hundreds of different lives every single day but
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when we spend hours
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and hours on social media every single day we will end up comparing ourselves no matter how conscious we are
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because it's too much it's too much for our brains
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so please do yourself a favor and limit your social media consumption
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because when you don't look at
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so many people every single day you don't have to compare yourself to
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so many people every single day
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because you don't see them this is the first thing
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and the second thing is
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when you don't spend your whole day on social media you will actually have more time
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and more energy to pour into yourself to pour into your own path to build your own life
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i i think it's crazy how many people don't realize
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that they are wasting their time watching other people's lives instead of building their own
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so yeah guys that's it for today's video i really hope it was helpful
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because comparison comparing yourself to other people it's it's all kind of automatic
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but we can really change our behavior and our relationship towards comparison
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so that we don't feel miserable and
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that we actually do something in our lives to make yourselves happy anyway guys
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i will say i'll see you in my next video
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “How to STOP comparing yourself to others”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: compare, feeling, jealous, beauty, whatever. This video has 172 sentences and 2075 words to shadow. The speech runs for 10:14. The speaker talks fast, about 203 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 92% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| compare verb | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | To assess the similarities and differences between two or more things [“to compare X with Y”]. Having made the comparison of X with Y, one might have found it… |
| jealous adjective | /ˈd͡ʒɛl.əs/ | Suspecting rivalry in love; troubled by worries that one might have been replaced in someone's affections; suspicious of a lover's or spouse's fidelity. |
| miserable adjective | /ˈmɪz(ə)ɹəbəl/ | In a state of misery: very sad, ill, or poor. |
| flower noun | /ˈfloʊɚ/ | A reproductive structure in angiosperms (flowering plants), often conspicuously colourful and typically including sepals, petals, and either or both stamens… |
| sunset noun | /ˈsʌnˌsɛt/ | The moment each evening when the sun disappears below the western horizon. |
| helpful adjective | /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ | Furnishing help; giving aid; useful. |
| inspiration noun | /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/ | The drawing of air into the lungs, accomplished in mammals by elevation of the chest walls and flattening of the diaphragm, as part of the act of breathing. |
| privilege noun | /ˈpɹɪv.(ɪ.)lɪd͡ʒ/ | A particular benefit, advantage, or favor; a right or immunity enjoyed by some but not others; a prerogative, preferential treatment. |
| jealousy noun | /ˈd͡ʒɛl.ə.si/ | A state of being jealous; a jealous attitude. |
| tone noun | /ˈtəʊn/ | A specific pitch. |
| consumption noun | /kənˈsʌmp.ʃən/ | The act of eating, drinking or using. |
| productive adjective | /pɹəˈdʌk.tɪv/ | Capable of producing something, especially in abundance; fertile. |
| conscious adjective | /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/ | Alert, awake; with one's mental faculties active. |
| pour verb | /poɹ/ | To cause (liquid, or liquid-like substance) to flow in a stream, either out of a container or into it. |
| compete verb | /kəmˈpiːt/ | To be in battle or in a rivalry with another for the same thing, position, or reward; to contend. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. |
| let out verb | To release. |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | if you look for it you will find · if you look for it there will always |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | someone who is · people who tend |
| Comparatives -er than / more … than — comparing two things | better than · prettier than · more privileges than |
| Advice with “should” should + verb — saying what is a good idea | should you always look · should take · should only compare |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 37 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, didn't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, consumption /kənˈsʌmp.ʃən/, conscious /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/
- Long words — get the stress right: miserable /ˈmɪz(ə)ɹəbəl/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, automatic /ˌɔː.təˈmæt.ɪk/, difficulty /ˈdɪfɪkəlti/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like compare, jealous, miserable.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.