Shadowing Practice: How to actually love yourself - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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you are stuck with yourself 24 7 no one on this
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planet will ever spend as much time with you as you spend with yourself so
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if you ever want to put work in any relationship you
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have in this life let it be the relationship you have
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to yourself at the end of the day it's always you
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no matter who leaves no matter what happens to you you will always have yourself
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so that's why it's really important to have a good relationship with yourself
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and to love yourself so that's exactly what we are going to talk about in this video.
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In this video I'm going to teach you how you can start loving yourself.
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And if you want to see more of my videos, if you're ready to become the best version of yourself, don't forget to subscribe and I would say let's start with this video.
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So the first thing you need to do is you need to get to know yourself
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because you can't possibly love someone you don't know.
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You don't love strangers on the street, do you?
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You only love people you know.
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You love them because you know that they have good values.
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You know them because you see how they treat other people.
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You love them because you know how nice they are.
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Whatever it is, you need to know someone to love someone.
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And the same goes with you.
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In order to love yourself, you need to get to know yourself.
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So ask yourself questions like, what kind of person do I want to be?
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What are my values?
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How do I want to treat other people?
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How do I want to show up for other people?
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How do I want to be treated by other people?
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What are my interests?
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And don't think about what does anyone expect of me?
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What does my family expect of me?
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What does society expect of me?
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Ask yourself what you actually want, what you genuinely are interested in and what kind of person you want to be,
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no matter what anyone tells you, okay?
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This is very important.
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You need to ask yourself those questions if you want to get to know yourself.
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And the next thing is, when you know your values, when you know who you want to be, what kind of person you want to be, how you want to show up in this world,
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you need to start acting according to your values.
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You can't like yourself if you always act against your own values.
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For example, you value honesty but you always end up lying to other people.
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How can you like yourself if you value honesty but you are the person who goes against that value?
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You can't love yourself if you always do that.
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Or another example, you don't like gossiping and you have one friend
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that always gossips with you about other people
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and you don't want her to feel bad so you gossip with her
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and every time you do that you end up feeling bad about yourself because you did something that's against your own values.
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When you're in a situation like that you need to set a boundary
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and talk to your friend and tell them I don't want to gossip anymore okay.
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If you want to gossip don't come to me because this is not my value.
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I don't want people to gossip about me and the same way I don't want to gossip about other people.
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That's it.
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And trust me, when you start acting according to your own values, you will feel so much better and so much lighter
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and you will actually see how much easier it is to like yourself
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and to love yourself when you act according to your values.
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The next thing you need to do is you need to stop talking bad about yourself.
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Really, just stop talking bad about yourself.
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I can't hear it anymore when people always say I'm so dumb, I'm so ugly.
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I'm whatever.
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Because this is so rude.
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Would you tell a person you love that they're dumb, that they're ugly, that they can't do anything?
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No, you would not.
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So why the hell are you saying those things to yourself?
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I know it's very easy to just say, oh, I'm so dumb.
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I look so ugly today.
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But you really need to stop saying those things to yourself if you want to love yourself.
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And I speak out of experience, okay?
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Because I was a person, I always talk bad about myself.
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And my boyfriend actually told me that I need to stop saying those things to myself.
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And every time I said it again, he catched me and he said, we talked about this, you're not allowed to say those things to yourself
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and then i also started to notice it myself
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and every time i wanted to say something bad about myself i just stopped myself
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and i didn't say it and now i'm at a point it's
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so awkward for me to talk bad about myself i can't even say i'm
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so dumb or i'm so ugly without feeling weird about it
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because i love myself so much
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that i don't want to hurt myself i would never say those things to another person i love
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and i love myself too so i would never say those things to myself anymore
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and what i want you to do now is to be a little more self-aware
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and to catch yourself every time you want to say something
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negatively to yourself every time you want to say i'm ugly
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or i'm dumb or whatever catch yourself and just don't say it okay
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and ask yourself would i say the same thing to another person
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that i love and if the answer is no apply the same logic to yourself
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and don't say the negative thing you want to say right now okay
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and you will see with every time you practice it it will get easier
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and easier and easier
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and you will end up at the same point where i
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am right now where it will feel weird for you to
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even say those things to yourself what's also very important is
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you need to keep the promises you make to yourself we always keep promises we make to other people it's
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so important for us to keep the promises we make to other people
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but when we promise ourselves something we're just like nah i can do it tomorrow it's not
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that important whatever but with that you show yourself
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that you cannot rely on yourself you show yourself
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that other people are always more important to you than you are to yourself how can you possibly love yourself
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when you always treat other people better than yourself you treat your boss better than yourself i know that
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when you tell your boss you will be at work at seven o'clock you will do absolutely everything to keep
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that promise and to be at work at seven o'clock but
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when you tell yourself tomorrow i'm going to wake up at seven o'clock you always set
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that snooze button
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because the promises you make to yourself are not as important
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for you as the promises you make to other people you
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really need to stop always treating other people better than you treat yourself the next time
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when you make a promise to yourself stick to it okay
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when you tell yourself you're going to wake up at seven wake up at seven
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when you tell yourself you're going to go to the gym
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tomorrow then go to the gym tomorrow keep the promises you make to yourself
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because when you keep the promises you make to yourself you build self-trust
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and there's no self-love with no self-trust the next step to
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loving yourself is building a life you love become a person
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you genuinely find interesting you genuinely find cool okay do things with your life
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that make you like yourself
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that make you like your life i really want you to stop making your life revolve around other people
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or revolve around work or whatever and start building a life for yourself
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and how can you do
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that by doing things only for you i don't mean only for you
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that you can't do anything for anyone else ever again that's not what i mean
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but i mean have things that you do for yourself
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that are that just have the purpose of making you feel good of exciting you of just Just making yourself happy.
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Really build a life that makes yourself happy and that gives you a direction you want to go.
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So start finding hobbies you like, okay?
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Try out new things.
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When you're on the journey and getting to know yourself and starting to love yourself, you need to try out new things.
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Try out sports, try out Pilates, try out going to the gym, try out running, try out swimming.
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Try out new things until you find something that actually excites you.
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If you like languages, start learning a new language.
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If you like baking, make time every week so you can bake something because you enjoy it.
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If you have a goal maybe in your work life, work towards that goal.
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Ask yourself, what can I do to reach my goal?
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This is actually how you build a life for yourself by doing things that actually make you happy.
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Don't always ask yourself, how can I make other people happy?
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How can I help other people?
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How can I whatever?
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Ask yourself, how can I make myself happy?
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And how can I build a life for myself that genuinely makes me feel good?
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And trust me, if you start building a life for yourself that you actually love and that you're actually proud of, you automatically start seeing yourself differently.
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It just happens automatically because you become a person you look up to.
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I know that my little self would look up to my current self.
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The next thing that's also very important is put yourself first.
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Don't abandon yourself just to keep other people comfortable or just to keep other people happy.
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If you're always busy with filling other people's cups, with making other people happy, with not hurting their feelings,
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whatever, your cup will end up being empty and you will end up feeling drained and unhappy.
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you need to make sure that you feel good at first you need to make sure
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that you're happy at first
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and then you can look for everyone else okay please make a rule for yourself
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that if you don't want to do something then don't do it
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and i don't mean you need to be a bad person
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and you can't ever be there for anyone else that's not
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what i'm saying of course there will be times where you
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also need to put your needs behind the needs of another person
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because they need your help whatever but you can't do
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that constantly you need to realize that not only other people's needs matter
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but your own needs matter too the next thing is also
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very important every point in this video is very important
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but this is very important okay stop comparing yourself to others you need to stop comparing yourself to other people
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because if you play
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that game of comparing yourself to other people you will always
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lose trust me i guarantee you you will always lose that game
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because there will always be someone who's prettier than you who's
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more successful than you who has more money than you
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if you look for it you will find it
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so there's really no point in comparing yourself to other people
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no point the only person you should compare yourself to is
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yourself okay it's yourself you can compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.
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If you didn't like something you did yesterday, you can make it right today, okay?
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For example, if you didn't like that you didn't went to the gym yesterday, you can go to the gym today.
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You can actually do something about it.
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If you always compare yourself to other people, there's nothing you can do.
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It's just frustrating because as I said, there will always be someone who's better than you in something.
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But when you compare yourself to yourself, you can actually do something about it
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and what i also want to say to this is very it's very important point
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that don't get jealous when someone has something
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that you don't have okay for example someone has a car
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that you also want to have whatever don't be like why does this person have this car it's
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so unfair life is
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so unfair why don't i have this much money whatever don't say those things instead ask yourself
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if i also want that car what can i do to reach
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that goal what can i actually do to reach that goal
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because just sitting there and being frustrated about what other people have
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and that your life is so unfair
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that other people are more privileged than you this won't get you anywhere okay
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but if you really notice that someone has something that you also want to have, just ask yourself what do I need to do to reach that goal and then start working.
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Also you need to stop trying to be liked by everyone.
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You can't possibly be liked by everyone and like yourself at the same time.
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If you always just want to be liked by everyone and not to be judged by everyone and not to be whatever, you will end up losing yourself
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because you will start making decisions based on how they will
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look to others how other people will like your decisions instead of based on what you actually want
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and eventually you will end up becoming a stranger to yourself
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and someday you will die anyway
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so why should you waste your time trying to make other
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people happy in this short period of time you have on
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this planet instead of spending your time making yourself happy
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because no one else's opinions matter okay they don't have other people's opinions don't have any power over your life
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if you don't allow them to okay of course
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if you always ruminate about what they think of you
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if you always
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if you're always like oh my gosh i want to be
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liked by everyone i don't want to be judged by anyone
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whatever of course those people will have power over your life
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but if you decide that it's important to you
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that you live your life according to your values
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and according to what you want out of your life those
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people won't have even one percent power over your life
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so stop trying to be liked by everyone
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and start trying to be liked by yourself this is what will actually make you happy
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and this is what will actually make you love yourself also stop consuming content
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that makes you feel bad we're on social media we spend
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so much time of our life on social media looking at what other people are doing how other people live their lives, how pretty other people are.
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But our brains are not made for so much comparison.
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Our brains are not made to see thousands of people every single day.
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So if there are people on social media that you follow that make you feel bad, unfollow them.
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If I am one of those people, if I make you feel bad, why do you even follow me?
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Please unfollow me for your own mental health.
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Unfollow everyone, block everyone that makes you feel bad about yourself.
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I noticed it myself
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when i watched certain type of people on social media i
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always ended up feeling like i have the most boring life ever
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and it made me feel so bad about myself
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and then one day i asked myself why do i even do
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that why do i even watch other people
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when they make me feel bad i have free will okay i have free will
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and i can decide who i want to follow
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and who i don't want to follow and
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if they're on my for you page every time again i can block them
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so i don't have to watch them okay because you need understand
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that people only share their highlights they share their vacations they share their
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the presence they bought their boyfriends made them they share how
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what kind of cool things they do with their lives
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but they don't share the boring moments
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and it's normal for you to compare yourself
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but it's unfair to you to compare yourself with them
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because you compare your everyday life with their highlight moments why should you do
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that if it makes you feel bad unfollow block do whatever
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and what i can also recommend to you is set social media limits so
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that you don't spend like three hours on tiktok every day set yourself a minute for 30 minutes every day
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so that you have a limit and
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that you don't spend your whole day watching other people's lives
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and then you can spend the time you've spent on social media before on building your dream life
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and making yourself happy literally your everyday rule to loving yourself
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can be always ask yourself what would i tell a person
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or how would i treat a person that i love
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and then apply those things to yourself
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so that's it for today's video i really hope it was helpful
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and i really hope i could show you how you can start loving yourself
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because as i said in the beginning the relationship you have
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to yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have in your life Thank you.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “How to actually love yourself”. This video has 243 sentences and 3014 words to shadow. The speech runs for 15:01. The speaker talks fast, about 201 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 92% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| gossip noun | /ˈɡɑsɪp/ | Someone who likes to talk about other people's private or personal business. |
| unfollow verb | To cease to subscribe to (a feed of another user's activity). | |
| genuinely adverb | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | In a genuine manner; truthfully, truly. |
| unfair adjective | /ʌnˈfɛɚ/ | Not just. |
| excite verb | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | To stir the emotions of; to cause to feel excitement. |
| frustrate verb | /ˈfɹʌsˌtɹeɪt/ | To disappoint or defeat; to vex by depriving of something expected or desired. |
| revolve verb | /ɹɪˈvɑlv/ | To cause (something) to turn around a central point. |
| bake verb | /beɪk/ | To cook (something) in an oven (for someone). |
| bore verb | /boɹ/ | To inspire boredom in somebody. |
| honesty noun | /ˈɑ.nɪ.sti/ | The act, quality, or condition of being honest. |
| ruminate verb | /ˈɹumənət/ | To chew cud. (Said of ruminants.) Involves regurgitating partially digested food from the rumen. |
| snooze verb | /snuz/ | To sleep, especially briefly; to nap, doze. |
| negatively adverb | In a negative manner; so as to be damaging or not positive. | |
| consume verb | /kənˈsum/ | To use up. |
| gosh | /ɡɑːʃ/ | A mild expression of surprise or enthusiasm. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| try out verb | To test (something) to see how it works or whether it is suitable. |
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. |
| look up to verb | To show respect or admiration for (someone); to see (someone) as a role model. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- You don't love strangers on the street, do you?
- How do I want to treat other people?
- What does my family expect of me?
- What does society expect of me?
- Don't always ask yourself, how can I make other people happy?
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 77 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, can't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like gossip, unfollow, genuinely.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.