Shadowing Practice: How to become obsessed with your own life - Learn English Speaking with Video
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you are going to take all of the energy you have been putting into other people
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and put it back into yourself okay
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because you are the most important project you will ever work
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on okay you are the main character in your life
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and you should act like you are the main character in your life
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because if you always make everyone else a priority
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and always focus on everyone else
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but never focus on you on your life on your well -being you will never be happy
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and you will see how much your life will start to change
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when you finally stop focusing on everybody else and start focusing on yourself.
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So hi guys, welcome back to my channel.
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My name is Sladi and I am here to help you become the best version of yourself
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and today we're going to talk about how you can finally start focusing on yourself.
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So let's start with this video.
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So first of all, you need to stop looking at everybody else and start focusing on yourself, okay?
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Because when you always focus on everybody else, you won't even have time to focus on yourself.
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When you're always watching others, what they are doing, how they look, how far they have come, what kind of vacations they go on, what kind of relationships they have,
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there won't be any time left for you to focus on yourself because you are busy watching other people.
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And the best way to stop constantly focusing on everybody else
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and looking what everybody else is doing is to limit your social media consumption.
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Limiting your social media consumption, in my opinion, is one of the most important things you can do
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when you want to start focusing on yourself
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because on social media you are you are exposed to
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so many things to
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so many information about other people the whole day our brains
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are not made for this okay our brains are not made to see so many different people so many different lives
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every single day and
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when we spend our whole day on social media we don't
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even have another choice than to look at other people's lives
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and to look at what other people are doing
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because this is the only thing we see the whole day okay
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so please limit your social media consumption this will help you so much
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when you want to start focusing on yourself also what's very
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important is live your life for yourself oh my god please stop living a life
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that is expected of you please stop doing things
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that everyone else is doing just
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because they are considered normal they're considered good stop it okay you can never have a happy life
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and you will never be happy and fulfilled
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if you don't build a life for yourself
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that you actually enjoy it won't get you anywhere
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when you only do the things that are accepted of you
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and that are so normal in society because
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when you feel empty inside what does it bring you
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that your life looks good on the outside it doesn't get you anywhere
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if you for example don't want to get married
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but everyone else is getting married around you don't get married okay
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if this is not something you want to do then don't do it don't just get married
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because everyone else is getting married.
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We get so pressured to do the things that everyone else is doing
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and that look good on the outside that we forget to ask ourselves, is this actually making me happy?
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You literally need to take all of your energy and build a life for yourself.
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And I would recommend you to start with taking care of yourself.
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Number one, take care of your body.
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Your body is your temple, okay?
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Your body is carrying you through your life.
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So really you need to treat yourself well
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and you need to treat your body well start doing things
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that are good for your body start working out go to you don't even have to go to the gym
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if you don't want to go to the gym try out pilates try out whatever find something
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that you also enjoy but i have to say sometimes we can't only do things
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that that we enjoy something sometimes we have to do things
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that are good for us even if we don't enjoy them
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but of course you can find a way to take care of your body
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that you enjoy the most also start eating healthy eating healthy is
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so important for you and you will feel so much better when you start eating healthy.
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And again, you won't always feel like eating healthy.
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And I don't say that you have to eat healthy 100 % of the time, but eating healthy is self -care and you deserve to take care of yourself even
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if you don't always feel like it, okay?
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Also, start working on your mind, start working on your mindset, start healing your trauma, start reading books,
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start going to therapy, start doing things that really help you feel good, not only in your body but also in your mind, okay?
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because a healthy body with a with an unhealthy mind won't
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get you anywhere okay you really need to treat yourself like the most important project you will ever work on
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because you are okay who in your life could be more important than yourself
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when you don't have you when you don't have a healthy body
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when you don't have a healthy mind what else is left
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there for you nothing you are the person you will spend your whole life with
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so dedicate your life to yourself to become the best version
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of yourself to make yourself happy to make yourself feel good
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and to make your life meaningful to you
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and you won't have the time and you won't have the energy to do this
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if you constantly focus on everybody else and also
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if you always put other people first you need to become
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a little more selfish okay being selfish is always considered a bad thing
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but i don't understand this because how can it be a bad thing when you put yourself first Of course, you can't be selfish 100 % of the time in your life.
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Sometimes you need to put other people first that you love.
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That's normal.
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I don't think that I even have to explain this.
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But most of the time, you're doing yourself a favor if you put yourself first.
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If you look at yourself first, if you ask yourself first, what do I want?
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What do I need?
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When you take care of your needs first and then take care of everybody else.
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And the most important thing you need to learn
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when you want to put yourself first is to say no.
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to say no without feeling guilty i used to be someone
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when someone asked me do you want to come do you
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want to do this can you do this for me i always jumped even
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if i had something to do for myself i didn't consider
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doing something for myself as a good enough reason to say no to someone else
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and because i always put everyone else first i was left there with nothing i was left there feeling empty
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because i never cared about myself but now
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when someone asked me to do something to go somewhere
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or whatever I listen to myself and
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if I don't want to go I'm not going to go
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and I'm not going to feel guilty I don't need a
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huge reason like I don't know my mother fell down the stairs
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or whatever if I don't want to go
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because I feel like staying at home today I am staying at home today
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and I'm not going to feel guilty about that
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and let me tell you only when I started to become more selfish
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and to care about myself first
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because before I care about anyone else I literally my life started changing
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and I became more happy because I did the things
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that are good for me
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and second of all surprisingly I was also more able to take care of the people I love
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because my cup was already filled by myself what's also very
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important is you need to learn to do things by yourself
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and to enjoy your own company this is so
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so important okay listen to me I want to grab you
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and to tell you how important it is
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because no matter what happens in your life okay you will always have yourself
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and you spend time with yourself 24 7
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so really think about how sad life is
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when you always need someone else to do things with so
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that you feel comfortable because you don't feel comfortable on your own
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and i know this is hard in my opinion this is especially hard for women
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because women are raised to always look for others to care for others men
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or boys are raised to focus on themselves to focus on what they like or to focus on their hobbies, to focus on their career.
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But girls are raised to focus on people around them, to care about people around them, to start a family, to get married, to have kids one day.
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This is what women are conditioned to do.
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Women are conditioned to build a life that always includes other people
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and that always evolves around other people but not about themselves.
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So I think especially for women it's very hard to learn to do things for themselves, to do things by themselves and to really
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and genuinely enjoy their own company
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but it's one of the most important things you can do
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because if you have yourself and if you can spend time with yourself
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and if you can do things alone you are unstoppable
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because then you are full on your own
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and you don't need anyone else and it's not only
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that you need to enjoy your own company it's very important
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that you learn to do things alone because
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if you can't do things alone you won't ever reach your goals okay
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because for example you want to go to the gym
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and you always need a friend to go to the gym with then your success depends on your friend
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and not on you because if your friend can't go then you also won't go
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so if you can't do things alone your success always depends on other people
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but the only person you should depend on is yourself
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and this actually brings me to the next point
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and the next point is you need to take responsibility for your own life
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because no one will come and save you okay
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if you are unhappy with something you are the only person
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that can change it because your life is your responsibility
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and your responsibility only and i know
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that life is unfair okay life is unfair i know that
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and maybe other people are more privileged than you
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but you need to understand that you are also more privileged than other people
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so it doesn't get you anywhere to sit there
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and to be sad about what happened in your past
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and to blame other people who treated you wrong
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and who made you become the person you are today of
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course it's not always your fault what happened to you
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but it's your responsibility for what you do with it from
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now on you can't control what other people do to you
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but you can't control what you do with it so
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if you always blame others like your parents your ex -boyfriend
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your girlfriends who did you wrong you are literally giving them all of the power over your life
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and over yourself okay because when you just sit there
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and say they did me wrong they did me wrong they did me wrong and
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because of them i am the person i am today you
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don't change anything okay you don't change anything with blaming them
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you can spend your whole life actually blaming other people but
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when you don't take responsibility nothing will change
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and those people who did you wrong will have all the power over your life
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And I don't want to say that you can never be sad.
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I don't want to say that unfair things don't happen to you.
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I'm very sure unfair things happen to you.
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Unfair things have also happened to me.
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My whole childhood was unfair.
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I literally used to always ask myself, how can a person be so unlucky, okay?
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I always felt like I'm so unlucky and I was.
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I didn't grow up privileged, okay?
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I had so many problems I had to resolve myself
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and many people around me were more privileged than me
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but at one point i understood
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that i am also more privileged than many other people it
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depends on who you compare yourself with no matter what happened
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to me no matter how unfair my life was the only person who could change it
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and who could make me happy is myself
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so instead of always asking why me start asking yourself what
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can i do now no matter what happened to me what can i do now.
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This is the mindset what you need when you really want to focus on yourself and to get far in life.
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No one on this planet is successful and is genuinely happy because they blame other people.
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They are happy because they take responsibility over their own life no matter what happens.
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And the last thing I want to say in this video what's very important
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when you want to really start to focus on yourself is you need to stop wasting your energy.
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You know sometimes people misunderstand us and we
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so badly want to correct them and want to prove
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that we are good people and that we didn't mean it that way and that we want to make them like us.
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But you need to realize that some things are simply not worth your time and not worth your energy.
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The energy you would put into other people to prove them wrong
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and to prove that you are a good person or whatever, you could take all of that energy and just pour it into yourself
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and do things that are actually good for you and do things
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that actually get you somewhere
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because at the end of the day it won't get you
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anywhere people are people people think what they want to think people do what they want to do
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and if they don't want to like you they won't like you
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if they want to misunderstand you they will misunderstand you the only thing
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that will really be beneficial to you and
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that will get you somewhere is when you take all of your energy is
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when you take all of your time and put it back into yourself
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so yeah guys that's it for today's video i really hope it was helpful
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and i would say i'll see you in my next one
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “How to become obsessed with your own life”. This video has 211 sentences and 2557 words to shadow. The speech runs for 12:21. The speaker talks fast, about 207 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 94% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| unfair adjective | /ʌnˈfɛɚ/ | Not just. |
| privilege noun | /ˈpɹɪv.(ɪ.)lɪd͡ʒ/ | A particular benefit, advantage, or favor; a right or immunity enjoyed by some but not others; a prerogative, preferential treatment. |
| depend verb | /dɪˈpɛnd/ | To be contingent or conditioned; to have something as a necessary condition |
| selfish adjective | /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/ | Holding one's own self-interest as the standard for decision making. |
| consumption noun | /kənˈsʌmp.ʃən/ | The act of eating, drinking or using. |
| genuinely adverb | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | In a genuine manner; truthfully, truly. |
| mindset noun | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | A way of thinking; an attitude or opinion, especially a habitual one. |
| unlucky adjective | /ʌnˈlʌki/ | Unfortunate, marked by misfortune. |
| compare verb | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | To assess the similarities and differences between two or more things [“to compare X with Y”]. Having made the comparison of X with Y, one might have found it… |
| temple noun | /ˈtɛm.pl̩/ | A house of worship dedicated to a polytheistic faith. |
| badly adverb | /ˈbæd.li/ | In a bad manner. |
| helpful adjective | /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ | Furnishing help; giving aid; useful. |
| priority noun | /pɹaɪˈɒɹɪti/ | An item's relative importance. |
| vacation noun | /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/ | An extended trip or journey away from home for rest or pleasure. |
| resolve verb | /ɹɪˈzɑlv/ | To find a solution to (a problem). |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| try out verb | To test (something) to see how it works or whether it is suitable. | |
| fall down verb | /fɔl ˈdaʊn/ | To fall to the ground. To collapse. |
| grow up verb | To mature and become an adult. | |
| work out verb | /ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/ | To calculate. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- What do I need?
- I'm very sure unfair things happen to you.
- I didn't grow up privileged, okay?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true | used to be · used to always ask |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are exposed · are not made · is expected |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | people who treated · people who did · person who could |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have come · have also happened |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 62 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, won't, can't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, consumption /kənˈsʌmp.ʃən/, vacation /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/, beneficial /ˌbɛn.ɪˈfɪʃ.əl/
- Long words — get the stress right: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, priority /pɹaɪˈɒɹɪti/, surprisingly /səˈpɹaɪzɪŋli/, beneficial /ˌbɛn.ɪˈfɪʃ.əl/, misunderstand /mɪs.ʌn.də(ɹ)ˈstænd/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like unfair, privilege, depend.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.