Shadowing Practice: How to Detach from People and Situations | @Thewizardliz - Learn English Speaking with Video
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okay now going back to a little bit around the same topic
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so another question we got a lot of is now
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that we're on the topic of men
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and dating is you know nowadays i don't know
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if it's the way society is evolving or the changes in gender roles
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and traditional roles
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but now you see a lot of women are very successful right women are becoming more
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and more independent and very financially independent and therefore successful
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and you get these women these what you would term like high value
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which i don't really like high value women are the ones struggling to find a partner why do you think
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that is i think because um a lot of men are insecure
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and a lot of men take their value from being successful
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so when you take that away and you have a woman
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that is more successful for than you
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that becomes a competition for them you know
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and i think that's actually sad because i I think people don't teach men to, like, for example, be more in touch with their emotions,
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develop other skills than just making money, because then they can also get their value from those things.
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But right now, because they put men on such a pedestal for so long, and they just poured into young men and whatever,
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and women were just the housemakers, right?
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Because they made that such a big thing.
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Now you're sitting with all these men yeah they they just know okay i'll get my value
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if i'm successful
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if i'm successful i'm a good man no like look at
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your morals who like who are you as a person get to know yourself better
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and that's how you build
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that confidence a confident man will not get intimidated by successful woman never ever ever
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but there's just not enough confident men no and even you know
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when you look at masculinity
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so that's one question we got for you actually from my audience
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which was you know there's kind of like a rise in
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like soft masculinity you know where i don't know you must
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have seen all of these funny reels where you know it's
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like men want the princess treatment now they they don't want
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to be the first one to text they don't want to
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be the one to pay the whole 50 50 situation
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that is coming up but do you think
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that is also causing an issue with men just like understanding their role
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and their position in society now i think men have always gotten the princess treatment
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always i think there has never been another time the amount of standards men have for women is insane okay
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but the minute you have a woman
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that says like hey provide you know like take care of
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me it's like no you're a goldie girl how dare you say
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that but how many men would date an unattractive woman exactly they wouldn't they just simply wouldn't okay
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because they have that standard if you're unattractive i don't want to date you
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but once a woman has a standard and it's like if If you're a broke guy, and with broke guys, I don't mean men that are poor.
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No. I mean men that don't know how to create abundance.
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And that's a big, big issue.
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See, for example, for me, a broke man, how I classify it, is like my dad.
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My dad refused to work.
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He doesn't want to work.
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He doesn't want to figure out how to work.
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He made my mom work her whole life, and she was taking care of him.
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Okay?
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He didn't respect himself, and he didn't respect my mother.
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It was just not in balance at all
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and my mom had to be hyper masculine to make up for the lack of masculine energy in the house.
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Right?
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Now, when you have that, a person that doesn't know how to be abundant, that's a broke guy.
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Okay.
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It doesn't matter how much money he makes as long as he's trying that's an abundant man
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because a lot of people they especially women they think like
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oh i just need a rich man i've dated a very
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wealthy guy probably the wealthiest guy i've ever dated he was not generous at all brokey yeah
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so that's a broke man
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because what do i have with you you're showing me every day how much money you're making but
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what do I have with it?
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What do I care how much money you made?
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You know?
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So it's like, that's like just the difference.
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Like when a man doesn't know how to be abundant, that's the big issue.
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So men wanting the princess, I think they always had that, right?
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So it's like, they always had a standard for a woman.
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They always had like, you have to behave like this and blah, blah.
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And even like before when women were supposed to be housemakers, there were
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so many standards you're supposed to cook you're supposed to clean you're supposed to take care of the kids
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and look good on top of that and
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if you don't i'm gonna cheat on you and
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if you do i'm gonna cheat on you
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so it's like women had to accept that
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but then you had women for example that have a platform like me
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that came on and were like stop accepting it
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and it's like let's have standards you know let's have standards as a collective
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and because of that yeah you have what you have right now
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which is very successful women because they started believing in themselves instead of a man
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and chasing what they want
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and being who they want to be instead of chasing a man
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and like taking their value from being with a man
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because that's also a huge issue
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that women are facing you know they think like oh my god
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if i'm not married by this age or
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if i don't have children then i failed as a woman
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but who said that society your parents your culture who said
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that who set that standard for women who said that
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if a woman has her period she's dirty she
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that like that's dirty who said all these things
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if men could get their period
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and could get pregnant we would not be able to meet
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their standards the they would have standards through the roof the like anything
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that even is like um like tampons all these things it would be free it will be free yeah free
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and they would have made like uh medic medicine
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or something to solve like cramps
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and everything it would help you to help them massage tools
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at work yeah days off days off paid yes no for
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sure women would not be able to meet their standards no no
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and that's the thing i'm so glad you touched on this
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because this this has come up many times in conversations with my guests on the podcast
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and even with my friends i keep seeing this because now that women are getting in their mid-30s and late 30s, they're starting to worry.
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And all of these friends that I have, or even guests that I've met, one of them even said on the podcast that, you know, I feel like I have the villa that I always wanted.
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I have my cars, I have my six-figure business, and I sit in my house alone.
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And now I'm thinking, did I go wrong?
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Should I have focused on finding a husband?
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Should I have focused on having kids younger?
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Because that's when you are at your peak on the sexual market value, if you want to call it that.
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And now she's like, now what do I do?
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And now I see this kind of like, I don't know how to explain it other than passive depression
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that is rampant around where you see all these successful women
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who at the end of the day come home to like a quiet apartment
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and they are sad and they feel like they went wrong somewhere.
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What would you say to these people?
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I think that the grass is always greener on the other side i know
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that there's a lot of married women
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that wish they could come home to an empty house i swear like they have glamorized having children
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and married so much
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and people don't see the behind the scenes they always like show you the pretty picture
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but all the work
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that is behind the scenes all the arguments all the compromises all the things
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that cheating that happens
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and then you have to think oh my god do i want to stay married
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because i don't want to lose face in under you know in front of other people
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so i just stay married with a cheating husband
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and i just look nice in front of everyone
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and then someone looks at them and think oh i wish i had
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that no you don't you don't know what's going on in
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someone's house behind closed doors you know my parents like everyone
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that knew them they thought like oh father's a great guy
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such an amazing man such a religious man they would say you know behind closed doors
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that was literally the devil himself you know
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you never know what is going on so i would say never glamorize something
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if i think right now right now about having children
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and a husband that's a huge responsibility huge i i rather
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right now in this position of my life have my business make my own money and be independent
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and whoever comes into my life they can add to it but i'm not thinking like let me right now
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start a family because i know that will take
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so much of my time and energy into the family you know
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if i want to raise it in a way
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that i would want which is with full attention and everything
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so it all depends on like do you really want that
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or do you want to create a perfect picture for society
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because we have to really go back to the beliefs
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that we have because why do we have that
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because it's also it's not only women it's the same with men right
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if you don't get married as a man oh you're not
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a man you're not you have to you're not a father
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oh my god you're already late 30s you're not a father
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it's like why push things upon people some people don't want
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that that's okay some people do then yeah you find a
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way you date around you see does this match with me
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but don't do it because you feel like you're losing time
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because i feel like everything in life comes at the right time at divine timing
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when it's when it's meant for you when something is not meant for you, it will not happen no matter what you do.
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When something is meant for you, no one can take that from you ever.
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It will come in like in the most miraculous ways it will come.
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So just let it go.
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Women need to start letting stuff go.
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That is the biggest thing.
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Tell me how Liz.
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No, that is the biggest thing.
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Look, right before, this was actually a month ago, like one and a half months ago, I was so obsessed with the outcome.
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I became very masculine because I didn't have anyone supporting me.
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So I felt like I was completely alone, okay?
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So I was like, oh my God, I need to have this.
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I need to have this.
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I need to figure something out.
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And I was going crazy.
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So I was focused so much on my career and I was literally losing it, okay?
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And then I went back home because mentally I was not doing well.
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So I went back home to my mom and I went home.
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And then the second day I arrived, I went to walk in nature.
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And I always tell people, go walk in nature because nature is healing, right?
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The trees, the plants, all these things, these are living beings.
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I even tell people like, put your back or your hands against a tree.
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It will remove any energy that's not serving you because that's how we work with each other.
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But people don't know these things or they don't want to try these things.
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So they don't get like really further in life.
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Anyway, so I went and I walked in nature and I started talking to God.
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And I always used to do this thing a lot, like especially in the beginning of my career, like talking to God and having conversations like he's my best friend.
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Oh my God, I see the same thing, you know, we're going to talk about it.
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Yeah, keep going.
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Sorry.
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So then I was like, I was walking in nature and I started talking to him and I said, God, like, I can't take this anymore.
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Like, not like this.
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I'm like, I want to do what I have to do on this earth and complete my mission, but not like this, not on my own.
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And I feel very bad.
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And I said, like, I don't want to live anymore.
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And that was really my mental state.
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Like, I don't want to be here anymore, but I'm not going to do it myself.
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So you do it.
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Okay.
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You please take my life.
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So I was like, I said that and then all of a sudden while I was walking, I heard like, wanting nothing gives you everything.
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I heard that sentence in my head.
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And then I kept walking and I started repeating it out loud.
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I was like, wanting nothing gives you everything.
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And then I understood, wanting nothing gives you everything.
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I was too focused on, I need to have this.
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I need to have fun.
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I need to have work.
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I need to have this.
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I need to be bigger and bigger and I was too focused on them.
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So what I realized was if I just let go of, I don't want anything anymore.
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Like you handle it here, give it to God, you handle it.
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You know, when I did that, everything I've ever wanted came and it came so fast.
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Like these past one and a half months, my life has changed 360.
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I've probably never been happier than I am right now.
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Yeah, which is crazy.
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But it was the minute I just let it go.
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I was like, I don't care anymore.
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And you know, this is, you can see it, for example, and you know why this is also the thing?
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When you let something go, you take your power back.
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You take your energy from that thing back.
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Now, when you are too focused on things, for example, let's say you're obsessing over an ex, okay?
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The minute you stop wanting that ex, all of a sudden he texts you.
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All of a sudden he calls you.
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He's now obsessed with you.
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He comes back, yeah.
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Why?
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You took your energy back.
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The minute you take back your energy from all these things and you are now whole by yourself, those things become attracted to you
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and they want to be with you instead of you wanting to be with them because nothing likes desperation.
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Desperation is a repulsive energy.
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When you are desperate, you have a lack mindset.
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You don't believe that this earth is abundant and this earth is very abundant.
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God gave us everything.
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This is another thing that people always tell me like, oh, how dare you?
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You're asking for too much.
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Oh, why do you want these things?
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But there's billionaires on this earth like multiple multiple billionaires yeah
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why can i not have even 10 of what they have
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what does it matter money is is a is an abundant
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source as well you know money gives you freedom that's the only reason why i ever wanted money for freedom
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because i can go where i want i can do what i want i can help people in a way
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that i want right so if
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that is on earth why can i not have it
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if god made this earth so abundant anything that is on this earth i can have and i will get
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whenever I think to myself, okay, I want that, but I just want it and I don't focus on it like in a desperate way.
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But I know I have a goal in the back of my mind, but I'm not desperate for it.
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Right?
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That's when it comes.
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Oh, wow.
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Okay, I love that.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “How to Detach from People and Situations” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 250 cümle ve 2831 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 13:56 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 203 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %88’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| abundant sıfat | /əˈbʌn.dənt/ | bol, çok |
| cheat fiil | /ˈt͡ʃiːt/ | aldatmak, dolandırmak |
| masculine sıfat | /ˈmæskjələn/ | eril |
| desperation isim | /ˌdɛspəˈɹeɪʃən/ | umutsuzluk |
| billionaire isim | /ˌbɪl.jəˈnɛɚ/ | milyarder |
| podcast isim | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast |
| intimidate fiil | /ɪnˈtɪmɪdeɪt/ | sindirmek, yıldırmak |
| pedestal isim | /ˈpɛdɪstəl/ | ayaklık, duraç |
| tampon isim | [ˈtʰæmpɑn] | tampon |
| insecure sıfat | /ɪnsəˈkjʊɹ/ | emniyetsiz, güvensiz |
| mindset isim | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | düşünce tarzı, zihniyet |
| abundance isim | /əˈbʌn.dn̩s/ | çokluk |
| behave fiil | /bɪˈheɪv/ | davranmak |
| massage isim | /məˈsɑ(d)ʒ/ | masaj |
| passive sıfat | /ˈpæs.ɪv/ | edilgen, pasif |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| figure out fiil | açığa çıkarmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- What do I care how much money you made?
- And now I'm thinking, did I go wrong?
- Should I have focused on finding a husband?
- Should I have focused on having kids younger?
- What would you say to these people?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | have seen · have always gotten · has never been |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | women who said · want which is · Yeah, which is |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | is not meant · is meant |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, you're, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 79 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: desperation /ˌdɛspəˈɹeɪʃən/, massage /məˈsɑ(d)ʒ/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: masculinity /ˌmæskjəˈlɪnɪti/, desperation /ˌdɛspəˈɹeɪʃən/, intimidate /ɪnˈtɪmɪdeɪt/, miraculous /mɪˈɹæk.jʊ.ləs/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: masculine /ˈmæskjələn/, masculinity /ˌmæskjəˈlɪnɪti/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, classify /ˈklæs.əˌfaɪ/, miraculous /mɪˈɹæk.jʊ.ləs/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; abundant, cheat, masculine gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.