Shadowing Practice: How to Sound More Confident at Work (Even When You're Unsure) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Do you wish people could perceive you differently at work?
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Like you're not getting that respect and recognition you know you deserve.
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Well guess what?
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Warren Buffett, one of the richest people in the world, said on record that if you can improve this one thing, it can increase your value by over 50%.
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What is it?
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Your communication skills.
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Now as an instructor at Columbia University, someone who has spoken at some of the largest stages around the world.
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I can tell you right now
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that the way you speak is the number one determining factor in whether someone will want to listen to you or not.
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I've now taught over 2 million professionals how to communicate with clarity and confidence.
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And I wrote this best selling communications book called Smart Not Loud, How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right reasons
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and for the very first time i'm going to share the four communication mistakes
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that are silently holding you back at work
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and what you can do to change that
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so you can speak with confidence clarity
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and impact here's the first mistake you are over qualifying your
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ideas before anyone has even had the chance to hear them
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think about the last time you spoke up in a meeting
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did any of these phrases come out of your mouth this might be a bad idea
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but I'm not sure
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if this is right I just wanted to quickly ask maybe
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we could sort of consider this do any of this sound
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familiar now I want you to hear something important right now you are not being humble
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when you say that you're not being polite either.
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What you are doing is hedging and it is quietly destroying your credibility before your idea even leaves your mouth.
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In fact, researchers at Northeastern University found that professionals who use hedging language phrases like, I think, maybe, kind of,
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sort of, I just, are consistently rated as less competent and less confident by their listeners,
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even when their actual idea was stronger than their colleagues.
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Think about it this way.
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Imagine two doctors walk into a hospital room.
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Dr. A says, so I'm not totally sure, but I kind of think maybe we should consider this treatment.
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Dr. B says, here's what I recommend and here's why.
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Which doctor would you trust with your life?
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The same dynamic is playing out in your workplace right now.
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You know, just last month, I was hosting a communication workshop where I had everyone stand up and do a short elevator pitch.
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David, one of the participants, stood up and I could tell he was razor sharp.
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Graduated from Stanford University, got his MBA, and really was one of the highest performers at his company.
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But the moment he introduced himself and the project he was working on, it was littered with hedging words.
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Afterwards, I pulled him aside and I told him that if he could just eliminate practice getting rid of those hedging words,
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his message would land a hundred times more.
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But the story doesn't end there.
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A few weeks later, he DMs me on LinkedIn
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and he tells me that after our workshop together and getting
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that feedback from me was probably one of the best and most honest advice he had ever gotten because no one,
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no one had ever listened and given him that constructive feedback.
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I share that story with you because even though I may not be in the room with you, just hear me say this,
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remove hedging because that increases your impact.
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And here's what I want you to carry from this.
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You don't have to change your message.
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You don't even have to change your ideas.
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You just need to stop over qualifying your ideas before anyone has even had the chance to hear them,
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which goes into my second point.
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The second mistake that's silently holding you back is this.
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Right now, when you talk about what you've been working on, you're bearing the most important point.
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When I was working on TV, we had this term.
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It was called bearing your lead.
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And it's something that I want to teach you today.
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When you're speaking to your team,
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your manager, potential clients, not getting to your point fast enough is the quickest way to get them to stop listening.
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Here's an example your manager asks for a project update and you respond by saying
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So we kicked off that project in January and the team has been working really hard.
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We did run into a few challenges early on with the timeline.
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And then there was also that budget approval thing, which took a few extra weeks.
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But everyone, you know, we've been communicating well and I think we've really made some good progress.
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So, yeah, I think we are mostly on track here.
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Don't worry about it.
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What?
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It was so long -winded.
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And basically, it took over 30 seconds to get to the point.
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Whereas, on the flip side, you could have just said yes or no and be transparent.
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Here's where I want to teach you a communication strategy that smart and successful people use to get their point across.
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It's called the cascading pyramid.
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And it looks like this the very top you lead with
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the most critical information first short small to the point statements then you support it with the details
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and finally you end with what you're trying to get with a question getting people on board drumming
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but drumming up excitement whatever it is that's the end.
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So the question is, if this is the best way to communicate, why do we overload things in the first place?
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Well, the truth is we were not taught this in school.
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We were taught the complete opposite, which was where you build the foundation, you layer in the evidence, and then you deliver the conclusion at the very end.
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However, I'm going to tell you right now, the conclusion is often the main point and that needs to start at the top.
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So remember that example I gave you earlier?
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Here's a smarter way of saying it.
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We ran into some challenges, but I think we're mostly on track.
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You say, we're on track for Friday and here is a quick update that I want to give you.
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Same information, completely different impression of who you are in that room.
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In fact, research on executive communication confirms this leaders who communicate their recommendation first
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and context second are rated as significantly more decisive more credible
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and more trustworthy than those who build to their conclusion even when the underlying recommendation is identical
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listen to that the sequence changes everything so here's a fix i call it headline first method So before you speak,
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you ask yourself, what is the single most important thing I need this person to know?
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That becomes your first sentence.
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Everything else is supporting detail and it comes afterwards.
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Now, here's a third mistake that's silently holding you back.
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And this one is especially important for professionals who consider themselves thoughtful, conscientious, or humble.
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And I call it the quiet culture trap.
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Here's what it looks like.
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You're in a meeting.
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You have a perspective.
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You have experience that is directly relevant to what is being discussed.
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But you tell yourself, I don't want to take up too much space.
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I will let other people go first.
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I'll speak up when I have something truly important to add.
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And I want to make sure that I'm coming across as polite.
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So as a result, you stay quiet then the meeting ends
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and your idea never gets said and without realizing it your presence
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or lack of it has just sent a message to everyone in
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that room and it is not the message you intended research from organizational psychologists at Wharton found
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that professionals who contribute to high stakes conversations at work,
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even briefly, are consistently rated as more capable, more engaged, and more leadership ready than those who stayed silent,
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regardless of the quality of the contribution.
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So simply showing up, contributing signals readiness.
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Silence signals something else.
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And it's exactly what I talk about in my book, Smart Not Loud, How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons
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and notice that subtitle because getting noticed is half the battle of accelerating your career growth.
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In fact, I remember a few months ago, I was facilitating a women's leadership workshop.
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And at the end of the meeting, a woman named Betty came up to me saying how much she loved the leadership frameworks
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that I was teaching in that workshop.
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Then she explained why this meant so much to her.
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It got real personal.
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She said a few months ago, she had applied for an internal position that would have been a promotion to her current role.
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And this potential new job opportunity was something her own manager suggested
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that she applied for because her manager knew how hardworking she was.
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Betty told me that she interviewed for the role where her manager was actually one of the interviewers.
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Two weeks later, she got word that she did not get that job.
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She was devastated.
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After the re -adjection, she sat ruminating.
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You know, what happened here?
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My manager told me to interview for this new job.
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Why didn't I actually get the role?
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One day, Betty walked up to her manager just to kind of get some interview and constructive feedback.
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And this is what her manager told her her manager said
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she knew Betty would be qualified she knew she'd be ready
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but during the interview process she never once explained why she
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would be a good fit meaning what she could bring to
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this new role how she could contribute this answer shocked her because it was in this moment that this woman,
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Betty, assumed that her work would just speak for itself.
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But actually, in situations like interviews, you have to be very explicit about putting yourself out there
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and letting people know why you are an incredible asset and you shouldn't be overlooked.
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By the way, after this conversation with Betty, I told her that while she didn't get this promotion,
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she needed to start being way more proactive in making her contributions way more noticeable
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and being very explicit about it as well.
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So this is where I want to teach you what I call the one contribution rule.
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Before every meeting, just like Betty, I want you to commit to contributing one thing,
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a question, a perspective, an observation in a meeting in front of people.
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It's not a speech that you're making, not a 10 point recommendation.
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It doesn't even have to be a thorough thing.
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It's just one deliberate, purposeful moment of showing up in front of others.
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And I guarantee within just a few weeks, your manager is going to feel that shift.
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So coming up, if there's anything that you want and you feel like you deserve, your manager already has this amazing perception of you that you are a hard worker,
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but now you just need to position yourself as someone who also contributes amazing value.
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This, by the way, is what I call influence
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and influence is built through visibility because you cannot influence people if they don't know how you think and where you stand.
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Here's a fourth mistake that is silently holding you back.
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And this is the one I see most in high achieving analytically driven professionals.
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It is the mistake of confusing information with communications.
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Here's what this actually looks like.
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You prepare thoroughly.
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Every data point is accurate.
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Your logic is airtight.
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Your slides are structured.
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And when you present to your team, to leadership, to a client, something about it feels off.
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The numbers are good, but the room doesn't feel connected with you.
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No one seems to be moved and you walk away wondering, what happened?
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What did I miss?
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Well, what you missed was the opportunity to connect with the people in the room as human to human.
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What do I mean?
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Think about it.
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You spent days preparing to deliver your update, your report, your data point.
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But the moment you spoke, you just simply dumped all that information out on a table, expecting your audience to just get it.
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You delivered a report, but communication, like real communication is not simply the transfer of information.
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It is a transfer of meaning and meaning is not created through data alone.
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It is created through relevance, through story, through the moment someone in your audience thinks, oh, this matters.
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This is something I need to be thinking about.
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In fact, research has found that the emotional and relational dimensions of communication
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carry far more weight than content alone in shaping how a message is received and whether it drives action.
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Facts inform, emotions move, and what moves people is what builds alignment, trust fast.
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and influence in fact a few years ago i remember i had a one -on -one client
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and her name was sarah she was a director at a big tech company in the bay area
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and obviously very technically smart
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but when she came to me she said you know i feel like
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when i give presentations it just goes over people's heads
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so as part of our work together i watched her present
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and immediately i could tell and I understood what the problem was.
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Here's what it was.
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She was speaking to the logic of her audience, but she wasn't speaking to their concerns.
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Think about that.
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Data reasoning, that's logic.
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But what is the meaning behind all those data points?
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That's the heart of what makes a good presentation.
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And you as a good communicator, you can't make the mistake of assuming
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that your data points will speak for themselves you have to connect the dots
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so as part of my work with sarah i taught her what i call the ces framework it's context expectations and solutions
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and here's what i want you to do the next time you present as well name the context why this matters
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acknowledge the expectations what your audience is hoping to hear and then you deliver your solution That's it.
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It's so simple.
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It's so powerful.
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So write it down.
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CES framework.
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Context, expectations, and solutions.
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By the way, this sequence does something really powerful.
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It makes people go, whoa, I need to pay attention.
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And here's what I want you to know.
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You know, the most important and powerful people in the room, they never make this communication mistake of assuming data is enough
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you have to be able to connect with people on an emotional
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and human level because once they feel
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that you truly become the person who can influence gain respect
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and accelerate your own career growth so let's bring this all together four communication mistakes
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that are silently holding you back at work the first mistake
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is this over qualifying your ideas stop hedging before you speak lead with that conviction, not self -doubt.
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The second mistake is never bury your most important point.
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Say the most important thing first.
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Everything else is supporting information.
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The third mistake, the silence trap.
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Show up, contribute.
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Influence travels through visibility, not the quality of the notes you keep to yourself.
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And the fourth mistake, Take confusing information with communication.
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Facts inform connection moves lead with relevance and then deliver the data.
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And here's what I want you to carry with you after watching this video.
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The things that are holding you back are not things people are going to tell you, but because you now watch this video,
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you know what small adjustments you can make to dramatically transform the way you're perceived.
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And that's the beauty of my communication videos.
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They're tactical, but also very practical.
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And they are designed to do one thing, show people how smart you are so that you are perceived the right way.
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Now, I want to hear from you.
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Of the four mistakes, which one did you recognize in yourself the most?
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And also comment the word smart below, because I'm going to send you a direct link to download
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one of my most popular communication workbooks that's packed with a lot of great information.
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And of course, don't forget to subscribe because I release a brand new communications video every single week.
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I'll see you in our next one.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 229 cümle ve 2768 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 18:31 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 149 kelimelik dengeli bir hızla konuşuyor; gölgeleme için rahat bir tempo. Kelimelerin %86’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| hedge isim | /ˈhɛd͡ʒ/ | çalı çit, çit |
| silently zarf | /ˈsaɪləntli/ | sessizce |
| workshop isim | /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/ | atölye, imalathane |
| conclusion isim | /kənˈkluːʒən/ | son |
| contribution isim | /ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/ | katkı, katılım payı |
| feedback isim | /ˈfiːdˌbæk/ | geri bildirim |
| framework isim | /ˈfɹeɪm.wɜːk/ | çatkı, çatık |
| rat isim | /ɹæt/ | sıçan, fare |
| recommendation isim | /ˌɹɛkəmɛnˈdeɪʃən/ | tavsiye |
| perceive fiil | /pɚˈsiv/ | algılamak |
| silence isim | /ˈsaɪ̯ləns/ | sessizlik, sükût |
| afterwards zarf | /ˈæf.tɚ.wɚdz/ | sonradan, daha sonra |
| promotion isim | /pɹəˈmoʊʃn̩/ | terfi |
| trap isim | /tɹæp/ | tuzak, kapan |
| presentation isim | /ˌpɹɛzn̩ˈteɪʃn̩/ | sunma, takdim |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| show up fiil | ortaya çıkmak |
| stand up fiil | satmak |
| come across fiil | karşıdan karşıya geçmek |
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — önceden başlayıp hâlâ süren bir eylem | you've been working · has been working · we've been communicating |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | are consistently rated · was littered · was called |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | has spoken · I've now taught · has even had |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | someone who has · opposite, which was · those who build |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, don't, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 38 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: thoroughly /ˈθʌɹ.ə.li/, thorough /ˈθʌɹoʊ/, thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfəl/, trustworthy /ˈtɹʌst.wɜː.ði/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, conclusion /kənˈkluːʒən/, contribution /ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/, recommendation /ˌɹɛkəmɛnˈdeɪʃən/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, contribution /ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/, recommendation /ˌɹɛkəmɛnˈdeɪʃən/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- Normal hızda cümle cümle tekrar edin; ritminiz konuşmacıyla aynı olana kadar her cümleyi yineleyin.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; hedge, silently, workshop gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.