Shadowing Practice: social life, success, and sleep - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Hello.

When I was in high school, I was scrolling through Instagram and I stumbled upon a graphic and the graphic looked a little something like this.

Okay.

There was a triangle and at the end of each tip of the triangle, there was a priority.

So on one tip of the triangle, there was sleep on the other tip of the triangle.

There was success in work or school.

And then on the last tip of the triangle, there was social life.

And on the bottom of the screen, it said, choose two.

And basically the concept of this was you can't prioritize everything in your life that you want to prioritize.

You might want to have good quality sleep, good quality social life, and a successful work life or a successful school life.

But the truth is we're not capable of that as humans.

and you have to choose two in your life.

You can't have all three.

You can't succeed in every area of your life that you want to succeed at.

That was kind of the concept of this graphic.

Now, for me as a high school student, this absolutely blew my mind.

This was philosophy at its finest.

This was everything I was looking for at the time.

A basic explanation for why I was struggling so much.

and it did explain that to me

because at the time I was prioritizing social life and success

and I wanted to be prioritizing sleep

but it just seemed like I couldn't get that part under control and

so for years of my life I sort of lived with

this Instagram graphic in the back of my head I constantly

reminded myself something's got to give I can't prioritize everything I want to prioritize 100%.

But recently I had an epiphany and I was like, you know, is this true?

Is this accurate?

And so today I want to explore this concept and I want to talk about what parts I think are true,

what parts I think are false,

and how we can use this Instagram graphic to come to a useful conclusion.

That's maybe a little bit more developed than the simple Instagram graphic, because I think that there's a lot of value there, but I think it could use a little bit more nuance.

I think that there's more there.

So we're going to be talking about this today.

Who would have thought that a weird Instagram graphic from 2016 would follow me into 2023 three.

The first thing I want to discuss is the truth in this model.

I think the truth is that at a given moment, you can never give your 100% to everything that you want to give your 100% to.

Something is always going to get 50% effort in your life.

If you're in a season of your life where you're really focused on getting enough rest, but also getting all your school and work done,

there's a good chance that you're not going to be hanging out with your friends very often.

You know, your friends are going to be receiving 50% of your effort.

If there's a period of your life when, you know, you're just trying to enjoy life.

And so you're hanging out with your friends a lot, but you're also getting proper sleep.

Your school slash work life is probably going to suffer a little bit, or it's just going to receive 50%.

I think it's impossible to expect yourself to give 100% in every category of your life at all times.

It's completely unrealistic.

And if you expect that from yourself, you're not going to be feeling so good because you're destined to fail.

You're destined to not complete your promise to yourself.

If your promise is I'm going to give 100% to every category of my life at all times moving forward,

you will fail at that most likely and you will feel bad as a result.

So I think the nice thing about this model is

that it sort of shows you that you can only choose two at a given moment.

And that third thing is going to suffer but that's okay and that's human.

And I think that that's a good thing to remember.

It's inspiration to give yourself some grace when you find that certain areas of your life aren't getting proper attention.

It's like, no, that's not a failure, that's being a human.

But now I wanna talk about why this diagram is flawed.

I think the first issue is this model kind of makes it feel like you have to choose your priorities

and leave some things behind when choosing those priorities and that that has to be your life's mission.

Not to read too deeply into this, but that was sort of the way I interpreted this model when I saw it.

I was like, oh, this feels like a huge commitment.

Like, wow, I have to choose two of these things to prioritize for the rest of my life.

Instead of looking at it like at any given moment, I can only choose two.

But if I decide to change my mind down the line, I can do that.

If I want to prioritize school and social life for the month of February, great.

But then if March rolls around and I want to prioritize social life in school

and let my sleep suffer a little bit, then I can do that.

I feel like this model made me think very one direction.

And so that was the way I misinterpreted it, I think, at the time.

Because I was like, in order for this model to make sense, I have to stick to it forever.

I don't think that that's true.

I think that this model is a positive thing and an accurate thing.

If you look at it in the sense of, well, yes, I can only choose two priorities at a time out of three,

but I can also shift that on a monthly basis, on a weekly basis, even on a daily basis, if I want to.

I think this model kind of makes you feel like you can't constantly be shifting your priorities in a way

that eventually allows you to actually find success and balance in all of these categories.

It makes you feel like one thing will always have to suffer forever.

And I'm not so sure that that's true.

Another issue I have with this model is that I think it neglects

two more crucial categories and priorities that we have in our lives.

I think it neglects quiet alone time slash boredom time.

Time to be bored, time to be alone, time to be quiet, which is crucial, I would argue.

I mean, I guess that could be grouped into sleep, but I don't really think so because sleep is like not awake.

And it's really important, in my opinion, to be awake and alone and quiet and introspective.

I think that's so important.

And I think that that should be a priority.

And that was neglected from this model.

But another thing that was excluded from this model diagram was time to be creative, time to participate in hobbies,

time to do extracurricular activities.

I think those two things are incredibly important and should be included in this diagram.

So in my mind, I think that this diagram needs to be updated to instead of being a triangle that says sleep,

work slash school and social life, I think it should be a Pentagon that has sleep,

work slash school, social life, alone time slash recharge time slash boredom time, time to be bored.

and time for hobbies, creativity, and extracurricular activities.

And then instead of saying choose two, it should say choose as many as you can at any given moment.

And it's okay if it's only one.

And it's okay if it's only two.

And if you can get up to three, you're a superhero.

And if you can get up to four, you're really a superhero.

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and if you can get up to five, you are annoying and everybody's jealous of you.

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And you're defying all laws of humanity, basically.

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So now that we have this updated diagram that I believe is more accurate, let's talk about why this is a useful diagram.

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I think it's useful because in order to be intentional about your time, you have to decide what your priorities are on a given day.

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And I think a lot of us do this subconsciously.

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You know, we wake up and we're like, okay, what's my priority for today?

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We look at our calendar.

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We're like, all right.

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And it all happens subconsciously.

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But I think there's something to be said for being mindful about our priorities

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and what we want to use our time for.

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There's nothing wrong with falling into autopilot and letting those choices be subconscious.

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But I think it's actually a superpower in a lot of ways to be mindful about our priorities

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and to be sort of strategic about what we prioritize and when we prioritize it.

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Because I think it makes us a lot more efficient.

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it makes life a lot smoother because you're correlating your priorities with your current mental state and your current amount of energy,

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et cetera, in order to have the most flow in life as possible, you know?

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Because if you're just listening to your subconscious priorities, you might find that you hit a roadblock, you hit burnout, you hit frustration

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because your priorities in your current state are not matching up

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because you're not taking the time to be mindful and make sure that everything's clicking together at once.

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Like for example, let's say I wake up one day and I'm just exhausted,

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but on my calendar I have a lot of work to do.

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I have a dinner with my friends.

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I have an exercise class and I have, okay, yeah, that's good.

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But let's say I'm so exhausted.

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I'm like, there's no way I can do all of this today.

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I might look at this list and say, okay, what takes the most energy out of all of these things?

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And I might think and say, it's getting dinner with my friends.

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If I have to do that, I'm not going to be able to do anything else.

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So you might cancel those plans.

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And then you look and say, okay, let's see, what else here can I just not do today?

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And you're like, okay, I can't do my workout class today.

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That's like an extracurricular activity.

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I don't have time for that today.

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So you cross that out.

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You cancel that class.

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And you focus on getting your work done that day and getting sleep.

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That's what it looks like to be mindful about your priorities, to say, you know what?

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I know I can't give all of this stuff on my calendar today, 100%.

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So I'm going to cancel the stuff that doesn't really need my attention and can be focused on later.

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And I'm going to choose the one to two things that I can do today.

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Get work done in sleep in the example that I just gave.

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So I feel like that's what it's like to be mindful on a daily basis, but on a more long-term basis,

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maybe you're looking at your priorities for the month or for the year.

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I think the best way to be mindful about that is to sort of make a decision,

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you know, make a decision about what you think those priorities are, knowing that it can't be everything.

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And then keep that in the back of your mind on a daily basis when you wake up.

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Be aware of what is on the top of your list every day and sort of live by that, you know?

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When you look at your to-do list,

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check the things off first that are related to your top priorities for the month or for the year.

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Start out with those things because then once you're done giving 100% to those things,

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if you end up not having energy later in the day to do the other things

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that you have on your to-do list, it's not as big of a deal because those things aren't your number one priorities right now, you know?

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It's less of a blow to let those things go and not have the energy for them.

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I would say my personal priorities that I've set for myself kind of indefinitely would be number one,

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sleep, because I just can't function properly without it.

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Number two, alone time slash time to be bored slash time to recharge.

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That's my second priority.

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And I would say my third priority is work.

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I would say those are my three biggest priorities.

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My social life is important to me, but I can't put it in my list of priorities at this point in my life.

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It's just it doesn't fulfill me enough.

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And so it's not on my list.

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It's not on my top three.

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Obviously, you know, talking to my parents on the phone, spending time with my boyfriend, like that's different because that's, that just would happen no matter what, I guess.

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So that, that's always kind of in there too.

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But I don't really consider that my social life because that's not me, you know, going out like that,

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that actually counts as part of my alone time in a weird way, because when I'm with my parents or boyfriend or my family,

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it recharges me in a similar way to being completely alone.

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So I sort of group it in there into that priority.

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I would love to dedicate more of my time to hobbies, extracurricular activities, et cetera.

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But I'm just not in a season of my life where that makes sense for me.

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I think my social life and my hobbies are the things that are suffering in this chapter of my life right now.

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And I think the word suffering is kind of extreme, but they are getting less attention.

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You know, they are things that I really want to put more energy into at some point in my life.

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And they are things that I can occasionally give some effort towards, but they aren't things that I can fully dedicate myself to right now.

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What I can dedicate myself to is my work, my alone recharge time, and my sleep.

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Those are my priorities right now.

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My daily schedule really reflects this, I would say.

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I tend to go to bed pretty early on a consistent basis.

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I wake up and I exercise, which exercise for me is something I like to do alone.

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and I'm able to think when I'm working out.

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And I think to myself, it's very like internal for me.

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Like that experience is very internal.

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I don't work with a personal trainer.

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I don't want to have one-on-one conversation.

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I want to exercise and be alone at the same time.

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That's huge for me.

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I live alone.

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So when I'm at home doing my thing, whether I'm like working at the computer or I'm hanging out on my couch or whatever,

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I'm almost always alone thinking, doing whatever I got to do.

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I'll spend, you know, a few hours a day, maybe one to three hours a day,

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three hours probably max, hanging out with one of my family members or my boyfriend or whoever.

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And then I go to bed at like 10.30, 11 p.m

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and I wake up and do the whole thing all over again.

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there's an occasion where I might go out and party.

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You know, I'm like, you know what?

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Tonight I'm saying, fuck it.

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You know, maybe I got a lot of sleep the night before

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and I feel like I'm super rested and I feel like I could go for a night out.

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Maybe I am done with my work for the week.

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I have nothing to work on anyway, so I didn't have to put any energy towards that.

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so I have a lot more energy than usual.

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Maybe I've had a lot of alone time

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over the last few weeks or whatever and I'm feeling actually kind of hungry for some social interaction.

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Then maybe I'll go out and I'll party and I'll have fun.

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There are still times when I can give my 100% to things that are not on my priority list,

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but it's only when the things on my priority list don't need any attention.

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So that's kind of how it plays a role in my day-to-day life.

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I think the way that I chose my list of priorities, top priorities, was through a lot of trial and error.

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You know, throughout my life, I've had a different list of top priorities.

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I've noticed that there's certain priorities that when they're in my top list, they make me unhappy.

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For example, when my social life is in my list of top priorities, I find that I'm a little bit less happy.

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And the reason for that is, is that when I'm prioritizing my social life, that means that something else is suffering.

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And that might mean my work.

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That might mean my sleep.

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That might mean my alone time.

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And I need those things through trial and error.

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I figured out that I need those things.

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For example, when I used to prioritize my social life, I was constantly stressed out, feeling like I wasn't getting enough work done.

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I couldn't even enjoy hanging out with friends because when I was, I was constantly thinking about how I could be working on,

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you know, clearing my schedule a little bit by getting work done.

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I was constantly sleep deprived because, you know, friends like to hang out late at night, like to go do fun stuff, go get a milkshake at a diner at two in the morning,

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you know, and that's so fun.

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But when I was doing that all the time, I was constantly sleep deprived.

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And so I didn't have the energy to do anything physical.

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When I did have alone time.

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instead of using it to be recharging and introspective.

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All I could do was sleep.

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So I didn't have any alone time to just sit with my thoughts, which is something that's really important to me.

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And so you get the point.

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The way that I figured out my list of priorities was through a lot of analyzing each priority

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and also through trial and error, you know, trying it out and seeing how it felt for me.

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And so as you're on this journey for yourself, there's going to be a lot of trial and error, and it's going to look different for you than it does for me.

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100%.

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We're going to talk about the pros and cons of each priority on my new trademarked diagram,

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the Pentagon, the new and improved diagram from Emma's Instagram feed in 2016 that was a triangle,

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which is so 2016.

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So I thought it would be interesting to go through the pros

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and cons of having each of these life categories in your top list of priorities.

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Because obviously all of these things will get our attention sometimes.

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But what are the pros and cons of putting these things in our top list, having them in the forefront of our mind,

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whether it's for a day or for two weeks.

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We're going to talk about the pros and cons of social life being a priority, success being a priority, sleep being a priority, alone time being a priority,

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and time to be creative slash do hobbies slash do extracurricular activities.

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So let's get into it.

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First, let's start out with the pros of prioritizing your social life.

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I think having a lot of friends, having a strong social life,

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definitely can help give you balance in your brain.

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Instead of your mind becoming an echo chamber of your own thoughts, which can happen if you spend too much time alone, when you have a strong social life,

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you find that you're constantly bouncing ideas off of other people, getting other people's perspectives, talking through issues and stuff like that.

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And that can really help keep you down to earth in a way.

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When you're stuck in your own mind too much,

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you can become an echo chamber of your own thoughts and you can spiral out of control.

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And so I think a social life is powerful for preventing

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that because you're constantly surrounded by other people who have other ideas who can give you perspective when you might need it.

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So being social is also crucial for developing new meaningful connections.

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You know, if you already have a solid group of a few friends, you maybe have a close relationship with your family, maybe you have a significant other,

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then maybe your social life doesn't need to be your number one priority

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because you already have meaningful relationships in your life that take a little bit less developing because they're already developed.

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I would say that's kind of the place that I'm in right now.

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I don't really need to go out and develop new friendships, new relationships, because I have that infrastructure in my life right now.

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But if you don't, then it might make sense to prioritize your social life

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so that you can find some meaningful friendships and relationships.

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And in that case, that makes sense

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because having meaningful relationships is one of the most valuable and rewarding things that we experience in life.

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And it's just a fundamental part of being a human being.

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So that definitely cannot be ignored.

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I also think that social interaction and having a busy social life can at times be a healthy distraction if done responsibly.

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It can very easily become an unhealthy distraction.

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but there have been times in my life where I've sort of shifted my priorities

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so that my social life was in my top list

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because I needed something that was fun and that was a distraction and that just gave me something lighthearted to prioritize.

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When I look back at the time in my life where

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I was prioritizing my social life in a way where it worked, number one, it was only for a short period of time,

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but number two, it also replaced my work a little bit.

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It was like, okay, I can't handle work being in my top list of priorities right now because I'm too burnt out.

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So instead I replaced it with my social life

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and my social life kind of shifted into my top list of priorities for, I don't know, a period of time.

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And it actually worked out really well for me because it was a lighthearted, fun distraction.

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And it wasn't something that I could keep up for very long, but it was something that made sense for a period of time.

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And there's something about it that can actually help you recharge.

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Don't get me wrong, being alone, spending time alone is crucial for recharging and for self-reflection.

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But But being social also can recharge you.

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If you're really burnt out with work or school, sometimes the best thing you can do is prioritize your social life for a little bit

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and use that as a way to recharge.

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Having fun and enjoying yourself can really do wonders for burnout.

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Prioritizing your social life can also be really beneficial if you want to work on your social skills.

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You know, constantly putting yourself in social situations will naturally bring up some challenges socially.

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You know, you might get into an uncomfortable conversation here and there.

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You might find yourself having to navigate social cues to handle a situation properly.

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There's no better way to develop your social skills than to put yourself in a lot of social situations.

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So if you're in a place in your life where that's something you want to develop, maybe prioritizing your social life makes sense for you.

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I think prioritizing your social life can also be helpful

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if you find that you're kind of stuck in one way of thinking.

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And maybe you're experiencing a sort of echo chamber in your small community, your family, maybe your significant other,

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and you all kind of think the same way.

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all kind of function in a similar way.

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And if you find that that's fatiguing or not inspiring growth for you,

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maybe it makes sense to prioritize your social life for a little bit.

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Go meet some new people who have different perspectives, different life experiences, who can provide some sort of fresh perspective for you to chew on.

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Now let's talk about the cons of prioritizing your social life.

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I mean, a lot of people are not going to click with you in this life.

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And a lot of people are going to suck and drain your energy, but it can be hard to see that sometimes.

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So you may find yourself spending time with the wrong people.

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If your social life is one of your priorities, it should also be one of your priorities to

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be intentional with that social time and to spend time with people who are good people, who make you feel good,

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who inspire you to be a better person.

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But I think the reason why it can be challenging to

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successfully have your social life be in your top list of priorities is that just so many people will drain your energy.

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And so many people are not going to make sense in your life.

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And so many people are going to misuse your time.

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And I think that that's the main challenge with this, with this being a priority.

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I think when your social life is one of your priorities, it can be easy to get too involved

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to a point where 90% of what's taking up your mind is the drama in your social circles,

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talking shit about somebody in your social circles.

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When you're too involved, it can just end up filling all of your time with pointless frustration.

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But there's also something kind of addicting about it too.

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Like there's something about the drama that we just love as humans.

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Not all of us, but a lot of us.

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We kind of eat it up.

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And so it can be easy to make the decision like, hey, you know what?

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I need to be a little bit more social.

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This is going to kind of be on my top list for a little bit.

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I'm going to really make this a thing.

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But then to fall into the wrong social circle and then to end up spending all of your time thinking about drama,

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talking about drama, etc., getting influenced by your friends or, you know, the people who you hang around.

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to do things that don't align with your personality, et cetera.

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I think it's also really easy to overdo it with having a social life.

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It's so hard to have a healthy balance when it's in your top list of priorities.

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Like for me, because my social life is not in my top list of priorities, I'm really comfortable with saying no to people all the time

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because I'm known as someone who says no to social gatherings frequently

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because there's just a lot of times when I don't have the time and energy to participate.

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And so I'm kind of known as that person.

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And so that's kind of become a part of my identity in a way.

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And now people know me as, well, she might come, but she probably won't.

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But when you're somebody who is consistently present socially, it starts to become an expectation in a way.

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And people start to invite you to everything because they're like, oh, you're somebody who always comes out and always wants to hang.

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So you always get invited to everything.

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And listen, that's time consuming.

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Going to every social gathering that you get invited to, that's a lot.

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But when it's in your list of priorities, it can be hard to figure out what to say no to and what to say yes to because you're like, well, I know I need to be more social in my life, so I'm just going to say yes to everything.

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But then you end up having time for nothing else.

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And that's not good.

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That's a complete imbalance.

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It's, I think, in my opinion, healthy to have a few things that you can give 100% to, or maybe even just 80% to,

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but you have that list of things that get your first priority.

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But I don't think you should ever have one thing as your priority for more than a week.

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Like I would say for a week, if you have one priority, everything else gets ignored.

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You have one priority for like a week.

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I think that's healthy.

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But if that goes on for too long, then you have some problems.

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There's an imbalance because now all of your eggs are in one basket.

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And if things start to go wrong in that area, then you don't have anything else to fall back onto, or you won't feel that way.

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if all you're doing is prioritizing your social life what happens

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if your whole friend group breaks up

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and now you're like wait what do i that's all i've

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been doing for like months is just focusing on my social

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life what else do i have you know you look at your work

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and you're like i'm

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so behind like i don't even know how i'm gonna catch up on my work

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because i've not been giving that any attention

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and then you look at like your sleep and you're like my sleep schedule has been so fucked up for months.

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I'm going to bed at like 2 a.m

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and waking up at like 12 p.m and I have no structure with my sleep at all.

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Like how in the world am I gonna fix this?

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You have all this stuff that you need to go back

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and fix and address all at once if your main priority is just one thing

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and you're not kind of spreading it out a little bit.

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You need to have a little bit of variation there.

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You obviously can't prioritize everything all at once, but you can't also only prioritize one thing for too long.

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That's why this is so complicated, I guess.

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My point is with your social life, it's very easy to have tunnel vision

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and your only priority become your social life

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because being social takes a lot less discipline if it's something

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that comes naturally to you or it's something that you find enjoyment in.

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And so it could be easy to completely disappear into it.

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And I think that's a con.

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I think if you're spending too much time with people, you can sometimes lose your sense of individual thought.

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You know, you might fall victim to peer pressure in some ways.

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You might morph the way that you think to align more with your social circle.

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You might become a clone in a sense of your social circle if it's too much of a priority

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and you don't have balance in other areas of your life as well.

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And it's also hard to balance with alone time.

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You know, I've noticed in my own life that I can usually only have one at a time,

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either social life in my list of priorities or alone time in my list of priorities.

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Because I feel like I can only usually prioritize three things at once.

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That's like where I think I kind of level out.

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I feel like I get three things.

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You might be different.

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You might be only two you might be only one at times.

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You might be a magician who can prioritize five things at once, the whole Pentagon diagram that we've made today.

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But I think for me, I can only usually do three things at once.

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And if I'm prioritizing my social life and my alone time, then I only have room for like one more thing.

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You know?

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Yeah.

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I usually have to choose one or the other, either alone time or social life.

397

I have to choose one.

398

Now let's talk about the pros of prioritizing success in work or school.

399

I think we can't ignore the fact that school and work are there for us in attempt to make us money.

400

We go to school so that we can gather enough knowledge so that we can be a valuable employee at some point.

401

The whole reason why we go to school

402

and we go to work is to either directly make money or to indirectly make money.

403

Like obviously going to school a lot of times costs money.

404

So that's not quite making you money yet.

405

But the idea of going to school in 99% of scenarios is to eventually get a job

406

that will eventually pay us money so that we can support ourselves.

407

And when we work every day, it's to make money, right?

408

I don't think anyone wants to work for free.

409

I mean, there definitely are scenarios when working for free makes sense or is enjoyable or whatever,

410

but I would consider that more of an extracurricular hobby.

411

And I don't think there are very many people going to school past a certain point

412

that aren't going to school to get a job.

413

Obviously there are exceptions.

414

You know, there are some people who just love learning, but I don't know when it comes to college,

415

especially, I think people are investing in college to hopefully make the money back eventually in a job.

416

Right?

417

So I think the first positive that comes with prioritizing school and work is that

418

you're working towards an income that can support your life.

419

In the world that we live in, we have to make money in order to support ourselves, right?

420

At least to a certain extent.

421

And again, very complicated topic.

422

It's like, there's so many exceptions,

423

but I think in theory and in an attempt to encapsulate school and work,

424

the goal is to make money.

425

And as frustrating and unfortunate as that can be, you know, that's just a part of our reality.

426

And so I think having work

427

or school in your list of priorities is a good thing

428

because it's kind of something that we have to do to a certain extent

429

if we have the access to it to function as well as we can in society I would say

430

and I would say too you know when you prioritize work

431

or school in theory you might be working towards an income

432

that could help you support yourself and maybe could allow you down the line

433

to have more financial freedom in a way so that you can maybe pay for some wants,

434

you know, instead of needs, right?

435

You could afford maybe a vacation that's kind of bougie.

436

You can afford a car that you're excited about or maybe just a car in general or whatever, you know.

437

I guess in theory, working hard now can potentially bring great rewards down the line financially.

438

But again, it's complicated because number one, it's not always promised.

439

Number two, it's a lot easier said than done.

440

Number three, there are so many other variables that impact what job you're able to get, how much school you're able to attend, et cetera.

441

I mean, it's so complicated.

442

but I think that working towards making money is not necessarily a bad thing in the circumstances

443

that we live in right now, you know, but now that we got the money part out of the way,

444

because obviously that is a huge reason why we work and go to school.

445

I also think that there's something to be said for,

446

you know, the great level of satisfaction you can feel when you complete a project,

447

whether that's at school or at work.

448

Even if something is grueling or feels unnecessary, I think that there's a lot of opportunity to feel satisfied

449

and proud of yourself at the end when you complete a project.

450

I know when I was in school,

451

for example, I would torture myself to try to finish every project in every homework assignment right on time

452

and have it be, you know, impeccable quality in all of this.

453

And in the moment, I would feel like, oh, this is so fucking stupid.

454

Like, why am I doing this?

455

Like, why does this even matter?

456

It doesn't matter.

457

but then once I would turn it in, I would feel this like euphoria.

458

Like I would feel so good because I worked so hard on something.

459

And even though the only thing I get in return is a grade, what I got out of it was more than that.

460

What I got out of it was this sense of confidence, like, okay, I can accomplish shit.

461

You know what I mean?

462

If I put my mind to it and I work really hard, I can produce shit.

463

I can do things, you know, and that gave me a sense of confidence.

464

And it made me more inspired to work hard in other areas of my life.

465

So even though when you're working at school or work, it might sometimes feel pointless.

466

You know, if you're working for someone else's company

467

or you're going to school and you're studying a subject that's mandatory that you don't even really care about.

468

Obviously, sometimes that can be frustrating and can feel completely unnecessary.

469

But I also think that it develops you in so many ways.

470

And that's a valuable thing, I would say.

471

I think practicing discipline in work and at school is also a really powerful thing

472

because discipline is a great trait to have.

473

You know, it's not easy to have discipline with yourself, but I think mastering it, or at least trying to master it, I don't know if you can ever master it,

474

but attempting to master it, I think is a really great thing.

475

And I think at work and school, you have to practice discipline constantly because a lot of times you don't want to be doing what you're doing.

476

You don't want to be doing math homework.

477

You don't want to be responding to emails.

478

You don't want to be making a spreadsheet.

479

You know what I'm saying?

480

Like you don't want to be doing this shit, but it takes discipline to do it.

481

And I think learning discipline is such a valuable thing to learn.

482

And I think you could learn it elsewhere, but I think school and work is a great place to learn that.

483

So that's another reason why I think prioritizing your success can come with other benefits.

484

And last but not least, it helps with self-esteem.

485

You know, when I'm not...

486

working hard enough this is applied for my whole life by the way not just as an adult

487

but my whole life when i'm not working hard enough i feel

488

so shitty about myself my self-esteem goes down substantially

489

because i want to be a hard worker you know i admire people who work hard so when I'm not doing that.

490

I don't feel good about myself.

491

It makes me feel good to know that I'm working hard to,

492

you know, create a life for myself that I'm excited about and proud of.

493

Some may argue that your self-esteem being too heavily tied to your success in work and school is not good.

494

Actually, I would argue that.

495

I would argue that, you know, your self-esteem shouldn't be completely tied to your level of success,

496

but rather it should be tied to your level of effort.

497

I don't know if that's necessarily unhealthy.

498

If you're doing the best that you can, but you're still failing, it doesn't matter that you're failing.

499

It's about if you're doing the best that you can.

500

And I think that that's what I mean here.

501

You know, my self-esteem suffers when I know that I'm not doing the best I can when I should be, especially in work or school,

502

you know, it's less about whether or not I succeed in the eyes of everyone else.

503

It's more about whether or not I succeeded in putting my max effort in.

504

It makes you feel good when you work really hard

505

and it makes you feel good when you have a little success here and there.

506

And so I think prioritizing work in school can sort of indirectly help with your self-esteem.

507

Now, there are definitely some cons when it comes to prioritizing success.

508

Number one, tomorrow's never promised.

509

So although prioritizing work and school is important to a certain extent,

510

having it in your top list of priorities might give you less time to enjoy moments in life that are more meaningful.

511

You know, when you're on your deathbed,

512

you're not going to be thinking about how hard you worked in your junior year history class.

513

You're going to think about the time that you spent with the people that you care about.

514

You're going to think about the discoveries that you made during your alone time.

515

That's what's going to come up, okay?

516

Working a tedious job, going to school, and it being tedious, like, that's not going to feed your soul in the way that everything else does, right?

517

At the same time, you can't completely neglect it.

518

You know, it needs to be at least somewhat of a priority.

519

But whether or not it needs to be in your list of top priorities, I think, is up to you.

520

but also you know there might be chapters of your life

521

when you're like okay i need to prioritize my work for like the next year

522

because i need i'm trying to get to a certain point i'm trying to reach a certain goal

523

and then once you reach that goal you're like okay now i can shift

524

and put my priorities back into other areas

525

that fill my soul more it's inevitable

526

that at some point you know you're probably going to have to prioritize work

527

or school but it doesn't have to be a forever thing

528

And the last potential problem with prioritizing your work and school is

529

that your quality of life can suffer because you're not having enough fun.

530

You know, work and school is rarely fun.

531

Okay.

532

Don't get me wrong.

533

Sometimes it can be fun for some of us, maybe, but it can be easy to burn out.

534

And I guess that kind of applies for any of your top priorities.

535

You can burn out on any of your top priorities pretty easily because they're in your top list.

536

You know, it's easy to burn out on anything that's on the front of your mind.

537

You have to take careful care to not let that happen.

538

But I think with work and school especially, it's so easy to get burnt out because it's not always the most rewarding.

539

Now let's talk about the pros of prioritizing sleep.

540

I think the most important thing is sleep is something that we can't live without.

541

Like you need to sleep or else bad things happen.

542

Google it.

543

So it's not a bad idea to have it in your list of priorities because you kind of can't live without it.

544

But also you function so much better when you're sleeping properly.

545

I can't think straight or get anything done when I don't have enough sleep.

546

I am a mess.

547

I'm a mess.

548

It makes everything in my life suffer.

549

So if sleep is not a priority for me personally, I can't get anything else done.

550

Some people aren't this way.

551

They don't need to prioritize sleep.

552

They prioritize other things.

553

Sleep is on the bottom of their list of priorities.

554

It's not in their top three.

555

So some people can make it work, but it's good for your health and it makes you so much more efficient.

556

And I don't think there's much more to say about that.

557

I would say the only con of prioritizing sleep is that maybe that you miss out on some fun activities occasionally.

558

You know, sometimes things happen late at night.

559

People are going out.

560

It's going to be a fun, crazy night at the club.

561

You know what I'm saying?

562

And you miss out because sleep is in your top list of priorities.

563

But I don't know.

564

I don't really know if there's any cons to prioritizing sleep.

565

I mean, maybe you're not as prone to sacrificing sleep to get something done on time.

566

And sometimes that makes sense to do, you know?

567

Sometimes that actually makes your life easier long-term to sacrifice your sleep one day

568

so that the next week you can sleep as much as you want.

569

You know what I'm saying?

570

I don't know, there's not a lot of cons.

571

Next, let's talk about alone time.

572

Alone time being a main priority can be incredibly beneficial for self-development on a self-awareness level.

573

You learn so much about yourself when you spend enough time alone.

574

You aren't a stranger to yourself when you become comfortable with alone time

575

and you start to talk to yourself a little bit more. And that's incredibly valuable.

576

Also with alone time comes boredom.

577

And boredom is very important for discoveries on so many levels.

578

You might discover something about yourself.

579

You might uncover a rabbit hole that you want to go down, you know, on the internet or in a book or whatever.

580

You might discover a new hobby because you're bored.

581

And so you're like, oh, what can I do?

582

Ooh, I kind of want to draw.

583

You know, you discover things when you're bored.

584

And I don't think you really get bored when you're with your friends or when you're working or you're at school.

585

Like, yes, you get bored, but you also are doing something else.

586

So you can't fully be bored.

587

And also being alone helps you recharge, you know, like being able to be silent, not having to be on,

588

not having to think about anyone but yourself, that is so incredible for recharging.

589

And when you're able to properly recharge, you're able to focus better on other things.

590

You're better able to focus on your work.

591

You're better able to communicate with strangers politely.

592

you're better able to be supportive to people in your life, et cetera.

593

When you're properly recharged, you can be so much more present, but the cons of prioritizing alone time is that you might overdo it.

594

And as I mentioned earlier, you know, you might end up finding yourself in an echo chamber where you're just wallowing in your own thoughts

595

and you might spiral

596

and you have no one necessarily there to give you another perspective to help bring you down to earth.

597

If you're like, no, I'm trying to handle everything on my own right now.

598

I'm prioritizing my alone time right now.

599

You might feel less motivated to reach out to others in times of spiraling in a sense.

600

You could also end up unintentionally alienating yourself socially.

601

And you might end up cutting everyone off because you focus too hard on spending time alone and making that a priority.

602

And it's also really easy to waste your alone time.

603

Similar to how it's easy to waste your social time.

604

Alone time is not beneficial if you're not using it properly.

605

You know, if you're spending all of your alone time on TikTok the whole time.

606

Now, listen, going on TikTok, going on Instagram, you know, watching TV and shit during some of your alone time, 100%.

607

Like, we're human.

608

Like, we got to do that.

609

We got to check in on our social media.

610

We got to catch up on the newest TV shows.

611

Like, don't get me wrong.

612

I'm not saying that you have to be fucking meditating every time you're alone for it to be beneficial.

613

Like, that's not the case.

614

but you can't only be scrolling on TikTok when you're alone.

615

You can't only be watching TV when you're alone to make it beneficial, right?

616

I think if alone time is a priority for you,

617

maybe you dedicate 50% of that time to mindfulness,

618

alone time that's mindful rather than mindless like TikTok, TV, whatever.

619

I think you can do both.

620

But I think it's easy to spend all of your alone time distracted.

621

And I think that removes the value from having that on your list of priorities.

622

And last but not least, we're talking about the pros and cons of having creative time,

623

extracurricular time, hobby time in your top list of priorities.

624

I would say the pros would be, number one, if you're a creative person, this feeds your soul.

625

This breathes life into you.

626

It also gives you something to do that has nothing to do with money.

627

You know, a creative passion project, a hobby, an extracurricular activity, all of these things are things that you do that don't make you money.

628

You do them because you want to do them, and they make you feel satisfied on a personal level.

629

And it has nothing to do with money.

630

It has nothing to do with your career.

631

It's just you doing something because you want to do it.

632

And there's something really empowering about that.

633

Also, a lot of times these sorts of activities are challenging and they can teach you lessons.

634

They can help you understand yourself better.

635

There's a lot of self-discovery that can happen when you pursue a hobby or a creative interest.

636

there's so many things you can learn from yourself based on how you approach these things

637

and how you problem solve

638

but the other thing is it's low stakes i think these

639

sorts of activities are one of the only opportunities we get in life to be presented with a challenge and

640

not feel pressure to solve it, but rather feel excited to solve it.

641

You know, for example, your creative expression is through photography and you buy a new camera and it's really hard to use.

642

Now you don't have to figure out how to use the camera, but you want to know the ins and the outs of this camera because you want to know,

643

because you know that once you figure it out, you're going to be able to take incredible images.

644

And that excites you because you want to take those images.

645

You have things in your mind that you want to live in a photograph.

646

And you know that if you figure out how to use this camera, you'll be able to do that.

647

And so you feel this desire to figure out how to use the fucking camera, not because you're going to make X amount of money if you figure it out,

648

but because you're going to have something that you're proud of that feeds your soul when you figure it out.

649

And the process

650

that you experience trying to figure out how to use this camera will show you how capable you are of problem solving.

651

You know, did you find a book in the library?

652

So 2010 of a thing to do, but did you get a book on your Kindle about it?

653

Did you look up a video on YouTube?

654

Did you ask your friend to help you?

655

Like all the different ways you go about problem solving, help develop your ability to problem solve in any and all areas of your life.

656

And it also makes you feel confident when you figure out how to solve a problem on your own.

657

It makes you feel good.

658

I would say the only con of prioritizing these sorts of activities is that, yeah, they don't make you money.

659

So some may argue it's stupid to prioritize your creative expression, your extracurricular activities, your hobbies,

660

because it doesn't make you money.

661

And there are other things you could work on that would make you money.

662

But I would say it depends on the person.

663

some people need these types of activities to be in their top list of priorities

664

because it makes them happy and it feeds their soul

665

and it makes them a better person

666

because they feel fulfilled by this some people don't feel this way

667

and you know extracurricular hobbies

668

and all these activities these things are on the bottom of the list

669

and when there's time maybe we'll topple in these things, but when there's not time, it's on the bottom of the list and we have other shit to do.

670

It depends on the person.

671

For me right now, these sorts of activities are not on the top of my list, but at some point in my life, I can almost guarantee it will be.

672

It's just not right now.

673

Anyway, you guys, my brain is so exhausted from this.

674

I don't know why.

675

I don't know why my brain is so exhausted from this.

676

I feel, dare I say, I feel wiped out.

677

I feel wiped out right now.

678

That was exhausting.

679

But I think in conclusion, your main priorities in your brain are going to be shifting on a constant basis.

680

And there's going to be a day where your list of top priorities are completely different than the next day.

681

There are going to be years when your top priorities remain consistent for the whole year.

682

There are pros and cons to having anything as a top priority.

683

The moral of the story is you can't necessarily have your cake and eat it too.

684

You know, we're human.

685

We can't give everything 100% all at once.

686

But I think what we can do

687

is try to strategically commit to certain priorities for certain chapters of our lives

688

so that eventually we can reach a balance where maybe we can prioritize everything all at once.

689

That might be a little bit too dystopian, but that's all I have for today.

690

Thank you guys for listening.

691

Thank you guys for hanging out.

692

I hope this was interesting.

693

If it wasn't, okay, whoops.

694

I appreciate all of you.

695

I love all of you.

696

Thank you for listening.

697

I make episodes every Thursday and Sunday.

698

Tune in.

699

I have a coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee, taking a sip.

700

My cold brew is watered down because I didn't drink it fast enough, but we're dealing with that.

701

You can use code AG15 for a little discount on chamberlaincoffee.com if you want.

702

You can follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes or on Twitter at AGpodcast.

703

And that's all I have for today.

704

Thank you guys for listening.

705

I'll talk to you soon.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 704 cümle ve 9217 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 58:26 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 158 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %86’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodan daha az kullanılan 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

priority /pɹaɪˈɒɹɪti/ (isim) — öncelik. An item's relative importance.
hobby /ˈhɑ.bi/ (isim) — hobi, merak. An activity that one enjoys doing in one's spare time.
diagram /ˈdaɪ.ə.ɡɹæm/ (isim) — şema. A plan, drawing, sketch or outline to show the function or operation of something, or to show the relationships between the parts of a whole.
bore /boɹ/ (fiil) — burgulamak. To inspire boredom in somebody.
solve /sɒlv/ (fiil) — çözmek, halletmek. To find an answer or solution to a problem or question; to work out.
discipline /ˈdɪsəplɪn/ (isim) — disiplin. A controlled behaviour; self-control.
triangle /ˈtɹaɪˌæŋɡəl/ (isim) — üçgen, üçbucak. A polygon with three sides and three angles.
suffer /ˈsʌfɚ/ (fiil) — çekmek, acı çekmek. To undergo hardship.
argue /ˈɑɹ.ɡju/ (fiil) — münakaşa etmek, tartışmak. To show grounds for concluding (that); to indicate, imply.
meaningful /ˈmiː.nɪŋ.fl̩/ (sıfat) — anlamlı, manalı. Having meaning, significant.
chamber /ˈt͡ʃeɪ̯mbɚ/ (isim) — yatak odası. The private room of an individual, especially of someone wealthy or noble.
complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/ (sıfat) — karışık, komplike. Difficult or convoluted.
echo /ˈɛk.oʊ/ (isim) — yankı. A reflected sound that is heard again by its initial observer.
exhaust /ɪɡˈzɔst/ (fiil) — salmak, eritmek. To draw or let out wholly; to drain completely.
ignore /ɪɡˈnɔː/ (fiil) — görmezden gelmek. To deliberately not listen or pay attention to.

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

figure out (fiil) — açığa çıkarmak. To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce.
look at (fiil) — bakmak. To observe or watch.
go out (fiil) — çıkmak. To leave, especially a building.
wake up /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ (fiil) — uyanmak. To stop sleeping; to awake.
get in (fiil) — içeri girmek. To get into or inside something, literally or figuratively.
go on /ˈɡoʊˌɒn/ (fiil) — devam etmek, sürmek. To continue in extent.

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı you're, I'm, don't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 257 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“th” sesleri: gather /ˈɡæðɚ/, unhealthy /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/
“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: beneficial /ˌbɛn.ɪˈfɪʃ.əl/, crucial /ˈkɹuː.ʃəl/, distraction /dɪsˈtɹæk.ʃən/, socially /ˈsoʊʃəli/, efficient /ɪˈfɪʃənt/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: priority /pɹaɪˈɒɹɪti/, beneficial /ˌbɛn.ɪˈfɪʃ.əl/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; priority, hobby, diagram gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli	is flawed · could be grouped · was neglected
İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi	quiet, which is · thoughts, which is · thoughts, which can
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	I've set · I've had · I've noticed

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?