Shadowing Practice: The Most Critical Social Skill - Learn English Speaking with Video
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People can say anything they want to with words, so we don't ever really say exactly what we feel.
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But our body language does not lie.
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It's very difficult to lie with your body language.
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Even the finest actors in the world find it very difficult to lie with their voice because the voice reveals people's feelings.
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You want to be observant.
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the most important skill that you can have in in the work world in the business world and in life
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is knowing how to observe people and not be
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so wrapped up in yourself and be outer directed so
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when you're in a situation like you've entered a job for the first time
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your tendency is to be all insecure
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and think did i say the wrong thing am i doing am i dressing incorrectly am i fitting in
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and you're not observing you're thinking about yourself
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right and the whole game is to be observing it's like you're observing the world the different games
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that are going on what people are doing what they're like
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what their tastes are like what the boss is like there
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are all these levels of power going on you want to get outside of yourself
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and simply observe right and not be thinking about yourself as much
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and if you become a really good observer of people
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which is something that i developed over all of these different jobs
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that i had i wasn't necessarily the best uh person figuring out the game
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but i was very observant about people and their nature
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and their flaws and such
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if you become an astute observer of the people around you
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you will have this the game will be much easier to
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to manage right you will know this is a person who
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is insecure i cannot offend them i cannot say the right the wrong thing to them.
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This is a person who's strong and secure.
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I want to be with them.
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I want them to mentor me.
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They can, you know, you want to be able to take criticism from other people.
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In other words, be less insecure and be more kind of outer motivated and paying attention to the people around you.
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And so it sounds like sort of half the battle is sort of naming what other people are.
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So saying like, oh, this, this happened.
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Robert did this thing, which tells me he cares about how he's perceived perception
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and relevance is important to Robert so I'm going to name a person like
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that right and so often
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when you're young you're just thinking I I I mean me
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you don't even know to name another right interesting well the thing also
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that you want to understand is everything is a sign so
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when you're observing another thing is enjoy this aspect of it
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because it's actually a lot of fun it's like watching a movie and observing people and understanding them.
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But everything people do is a sign.
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So if they're showing up late at meetings or they're not returning your phone calls, it's not some innocent event.
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It means something.
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It's coming from some place within them.
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They're telling you something about themselves indirectly.
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If their desk is a mess, right, they can't organize their desk, it's a sign of something else going on inside them, right?
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If they're not returning your phone calls, on and on and on every little thing that people do.
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Sometimes when I read an email, I can sense that there's a little bit of anger as an undertone.
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You can sense people's tone, not just in what they say, but in how they write something, right?
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There's not this usual kind of polite tone.
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There's a little bit of a sharpness.
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There's a word or two that indicates that they're upset, they're angry.
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Every little thing that people do is a sign.
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You're not paranoid because it's actually a lot of fun
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and you're decoding what's going on because people wear masks they smile
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and they say i love your ideas cody you're brilliant you're wonderful
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but inside they're thinking something else
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and you have to be able to pick up all of
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these signs yeah it seems like a lot of us have lost a lot of
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that gut intuition like we don't we're told to not trust
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your first instinct yeah you know we're told to not cross the street when we feel a certain way, because that could be rude to somebody else.
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We're sort of continuously being told to mask this feeling we get in our gut.
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How do you reopen that again?
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Like if you're sitting in a room with a bunch of people in the workplace
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and you're trying to figure out how to play this game,
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what is the mental game Robert plays to sort of pick up these undercurrents that somebody might not be able to see?
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Well, I wrote a book called The Laws of Human Nature, sort of my last book, and I have a very long chapter in there about nonverbal communication.
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And it's extremely important skill to develop.
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And what that means is people can say anything they want to with words.
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In fact, They generally do.
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They never really exactly say what's on their mind.
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That's how it is in the social world.
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Because if you said what was exactly on your mind, you would be offending a lot of people.
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So we don't ever really say exactly what we feel.
76
But our body language does not lie.
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It's very difficult to lie with your body language.
78
Even the finest actors in the world find it very difficult to lie with their voice
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because the voice reveals people's feelings right
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so you want to be observant we're very good at picking these kind of cues up
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so you may not realize it but you sense
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that something is wrong about this person that you've just met this is something
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that in the i talk a lot about in the art
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of seduction i've dealt with with women who've written me back they had a gut feeling
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that this man
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that they met was wrong there was something bad about him they got a bad feeling from it
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but what happens is you don't trust that feeling and then
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because you're not as you say in our culture it's not something
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that we value and then we go on we have a relationship
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and then we find the hard way out
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that our original gut instinct was the correct one
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so you want to trust these feelings they're very valuable we are animals we think we're all
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so intellectual we've got our our frontal cortex that governs everything
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but inside we operate on emotions on instincts on feelings on
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sensations it's a nonverbal form of communication it comes out in people's gestures
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and how they move how they stand right they're at a party you're talking to them
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but their feet are pointing in a different direction they're not
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so interested in you their eyes reveal if they're really listening to you
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or not a real smile lights up the whole face a fake smile's all kind of tight
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that's wonderful i really like right yeah on
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and on it's insane language you can understand exactly what people are thinking
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but you have to do this to be able to reach
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this kind of level of understanding you have to shut off
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your own mind you have to shut off all your internal chatter You have to observe
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and you have to see exactly what, try to read and detect what that particular sign means.
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And you won't believe how often you are very accurate with it.
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You can detect people's resentment, people's envy.
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And as I said, I wrote a whole chapter about signs that you can look at tomorrow and learn about this language.
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It's just that you're not paying attention and you don't value this form because we're so verbal.
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We think everything has to do with words, but it doesn't.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “The Most Critical Social Skill” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: feeling, sign, lie, language, exactly. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 110 cümle ve 1356 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 7:40 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 177 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %88’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| insecure sıfat | /ɪnsəˈkjʊɹ/ | emniyetsiz, güvensiz |
| instinct isim | /ˈɪn.stɪŋkt/ | içgüdü, insiyak |
| observer isim | /əbˈzɝvɚ/ | gözlemci |
| astute sıfat | /əsˈtjuːt/ | basiretli, keskin zekâlı |
| seduction isim | /sɪˈdʌk.ʃn̩/ | ayartı, ayartma |
| intuition isim | /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/ | görü, sezgi |
| flaw isim | /flɔ/ | çatlak, çizik |
| resentment isim | /ɹɪˈzɛnt.mənt/ | dargınlık, burukluk |
| govern fiil | /ˈɡʌv.ən/ | hüküm sürmek, idare etmek |
| perceive fiil | /pɚˈsiv/ | algılamak |
| paranoid sıfat | /ˈpæɹ.əˌnɔɪd/ | paranoyak |
| relevance isim | /ˈɹɛl.ɪ.vən(t)s/ | ilgililik |
| envy isim | /ˈɛnvi/ | kıskançlık, haset |
| sensation isim | /sɛnˈseɪʃən/ | duyu, duygu |
| gesture isim | /ˈd͡ʒɛs.t͡ʃɚ/ | işaret, jest |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| figure out fiil | açığa çıkarmak |
| light up fiil | aydınlatmak |
| show up fiil | ortaya çıkmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- It's very difficult to lie with your body language.
- They're telling you something about themselves indirectly.
- How do you reopen that again?
- You can detect people's resentment, people's envy.
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, they're, don't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 50 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: seduction /sɪˈdʌk.ʃn̩/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, sensation /sɛnˈseɪʃən/, perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: undercurrent /ˈʌndɚˌkʌɹənt/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, incorrectly /ˌɪnkəˈɹɛk(t).li/, indirectly /ˌɪn.dɪˈɹɛk(t).li/, continuously /kənˈtɪnjuəsli/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: frontal /ˈfɹʌn.təl/, flaw /flɔ/, cue /kju/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: chatter /ˈt͡ʃætɚ/, paranoid /ˈpæɹ.əˌnɔɪd/, wrap /ɹæp/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; insecure, instinct, observer gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.