Shadowing Practice: Why You're So Good At Being Shy... - Learn English Speaking with Video

I'm going to show you how to become a confident person even if you see yourself as being naturally shy.

And there's one simple sentence that completely destroyed the way I thought about shyness in my 20s,

which helped me transform from shy to someone who's now spoken on thousands of stages to millions of people.

And once you hear this sentence, you won't be able to unhear it.

The reason you are so good at being shy is because you've been practicing shy behaviors for the last 10, 20, 30 years of your life.

In communication, you become what you practice.

And because you've been practicing shyness consistently, of course you're great at it.

Now, here's what this means.

Shyness is not a personality.

It's not who you are.

It's just a set of behaviors that you've practiced so consistently for

so long that they now feel like they're a part of your identity.

But they're not.

confident people on the other hand, they're doing the exact same thing.

They're just doing it in reverse.

They're practicing confident behaviors consistently.

And they've become what they've been practicing.

Which means if you want to be more confident, you don't need to change your identity and who you are.

You just need to change what you practice.

And think about this.

Have you ever met someone who's, look, I'm going to be a bit honest here.

Someone who's a bit of a dickhead.

Yeah, you know the type, the selfish, self-centered, always interrupting people, always making the conversation about themselves, never lets anybody finish a sentence.

Yeah, that person.

That person became that way because they've been practicing those behaviors their entire life without ever realizing it.

And they don't have any friends who care about them or love them enough to tell them the truth, that they're being a d*head.

And also because they've never stopped to examine themselves, they've got zero self-awareness and trust me, I'd much rather be shy than be a dkhead.

Back to my point, this video isn't for dkheads, it's for those of you who are shy.

So let me ask you this question right now.

Who are you practicing being every single day?

That's the question I want you to just take a moment and think about.

If you're not happy with how you come across, and you're not happy with how people perceive you, and you're not happy with the way you perceive yourself even,

then change the things you're practicing and it will change the person that you become.

You are not stuck.

You're not stuck being shy.

And yes, even the dheads.

If they practice more compassionate, more kind, more loving behaviors, they could become a wonderful person.

You too could become a more confident person, a more charismatic person, a more authoritative person if you practice those behaviors.

Now before I get into the confident behaviours, let's first become more aware of the shy behaviours that are no longer serving you.

You probably can't tell right now from the way that I'm speaking, but when I was younger, I was really, really shy.

And I'll be honest, I was a bit of a d*head as well, but luckily I practiced that part out of me.

You're still a d*head, Vin.

So's your face, Peter.

What?

That doesn't make sense.

So's your face.

Always makes sense.

This video

that I'm about to share with you is footage of me

from about 16 years ago I was trying to just turn on the camera

and speak and as you watch it I want you to look for the shy behaviors.

See if you can spot them.

Hey everyone Welcome to my garage office slash home where I sleep everything.

I Just have to make this video I think I said my name was video already.

I'm not sure but I press record

and I just want to see what comes out

but that's enough of that did you catch the shy behaviors

because once you can name the shy behaviors you can actually start to change

and transform them but if you didn't catch them and

if you didn't know what to look for let me break

down specifically what shy behaviors are shy behaviors fall into three categories you've got visual vocal

and verbal let's start with visual that's what you do with your body.

And the first thing is poor eye contact.

When you speak, your eyes are either looking down, they're darting around really quickly,

or they're avoiding the other person completely and you're not even looking at them.

In the world of communication, eye contact signals trust.

When you avoid it, people unconsciously read it as nervousness, a lack of belief in what you're saying and low levels of confidence.

Now the next one is bad posture.

Here's where your shoulders are rolled forward, your head is slightly down and your body is caved in.

Most people don't realize that your body actually introduces you before you introduce yourself.

If someone sees you from across the room with that posture that I had before, they've already made a judgment.

They will look at you as being someone who's shy, low status, low levels of confidence before you've even said a single word.

You've been categorized without being given a chance to speak.

That's how powerful posture is.

It's the loudest form of body language.

And lastly, limited gesture vocab.

Here's where your hands are generally clasped to get clasped.

Is it clasped?

This is where your hands are clasped.

Here's where you have your hands in the prayer position.

Your elbows are close to your sides.

You are taking up as little space as possible.

Gestures are the amplifier for your words.

When you strip them out, everything you say becomes flatter.

It becomes less convincing.

Think about the most confident speakers you've ever watched.

Their hands are alive.

They're moving with purpose.

They're taking up space compared to that someone who's standing completely still, arms pinned, prayer position, they're being as small as humanly possible.

I mean, doesn't this look like somebody who's shy?

The second category of shy behaviors is vocal.

That's what you do with your voice.

And the first limiting behavior here is a low default volume.

What I mean by this is that if you imagine volume having a scale from zero to 10,

you're speaking at about a three and you're staying there as a default.

And then as an example for you, if I stay at about a three out of 10, and I stick to this, how do you perceive my level of confidence?

Seems pretty low, doesn't it?

Next is mumbling and poor articulation.

100

When you do this, people have to work really hard to understand you.

101

Do you know who mumbles in life?

102

Babies and mumble rappers.

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And do they deserve respect?

104

Absolutely not.

105

Watch what happens when I start to mumble.

106

I'm going to start talking about this now.

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I mean, you know, how you perceive my level of confidence.

108

It's so bad, isn't it?

109

And the last thing is monotone delivery.

110

That's where you speak at one level, no variation.

111

A big part of confidence is aliveness.

112

When you speak in a monotone, for example, if I spoke like this, how alive do I sound?

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I don't sound alive, do I?

114

A core component of confidence, once again, is aliveness.

115

So you've got to be careful of the monotone delivery.

116

And the final category of shy behaviors, verbal.

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What you do with your words.

118

This is where you are talking in circles, rambling and speaking with no clear point.

119

And more often than not, people who are really good at being shy tend to not speak up at all.

120

and sometimes you think by not saying anything at all you're able to avoid judgment avoid being in the spotlight

121

and you think it's a good thing but what you don't realize is

122

that you're also avoiding career growth the people who speak up during team meetings

123

and at work related events they have more visibility

124

and the more visibility you have

125

when it comes time for promotion guess who gets picked for the promotion those who are the most visible

126

because if you're invisible they don't even consider you.

127

And then guess who gets the promotion?

128

Bloody Jason, the d*head.

129

He's always speaking up in team meetings, even when he's got nothing brilliant to say.

130

But he's the only one doing it, and as a result of that, he's the only one that is visible.

131

And as a result of that visibility that he has, when it comes time for a promotion, he's the one that gets it.

132

And you're sitting there going, damn it, it should have been me.

133

So, if you're sick and tired of Jason, and you want to learn how to be more visible in your workplace, and you want to learn how to turn your thoughts into words quickly

134

so that you can speak up in a team meeting so

135

that you can ask questions without feeling stupid then join me

136

for a free two-hour masterclass where I take you through three powerful communication frameworks

137

that are going to allow you to speak up at a moment's notice

138

while under pressure and speak in a way

139

that has high levels of authority high levels of clarity that's also concise

140

so come learn with me click the link in the description

141

or scan the QR code on screen go check it out now

142

that you're aware of the shy behaviors let's learn about the confident behaviors

143

and they're actually relatively simple it's literally the opposite of what

144

we just spoke about starting with the visual behaviors the first

145

one is strong deliberate eye contact next is great posture

146

and let me let me get up

147

and show you what i mean by this specifically great posture

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is where your feet are shoulder width apart shoulders down and back, head held nice and high,

149

large gestures, elbows away from your body and you move.

150

You use the space that you've been given.

151

So if you're speaking in a boardroom, use the space that you have with purpose and by doing this it communicates and radiates confidence.

152

And the final thing just to note here is that when you're willing to take up more space,

153

you will appear more confident.

154

I want you to watch how one of my students immediately

155

upgrades their perceived levels of confidence just by taking up space and using more hand gestures Check this out.

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Hi, I am Bingkan from Jakarta,

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Indonesia and I would like to take this challenge from Vint from day one of Break the Mold.

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Hello everybody.

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My name is Bingkan and I'm here to improve my communication skills Why do I want to improve my communication skills?

160

It's because I would like to make my world bigger than it is currently.

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How much more confident did they look?

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All right, on to the next category, vocal.

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The first thing is strong volume,

164

great articulation, pronunciation, and lots of melody.

165

And the thing about confident people is that they have lots of vocal variety.

166

Now, I want you to listen to another student of mine here play with their volume.

167

One simple change, but watch the transformation check this out so

168

if i did improve my communication it will give me confidence

169

that i can take my career to the next level it will give me the confidence

170

that i can do the things

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that i really want to do in life reason why i'm doing this course is so

172

that i can take my career to the next level i

173

will be able to do what i have not yet able to do until now people will take me seriously

174

if i'm able to communicate those things clearly articulate my point make them so

175

that they learn what i'm trying to say once again how

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much more confident did they sound as they started to practice

177

these new set of behaviors it's wild right verbal the number one thing

178

that all confident people do

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when they're speaking is they use frameworks they don't just wing what they say they follow frameworks

180

which helps you structure your thoughts so you can speak more clearly concisely

181

and coherently and

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if you want to learn the three most powerful frameworks click the link in the description

183

or scan the qr code now i want you to watch

184

how one of my students uses one of the simple frameworks they learned from

185

that training to be able to share their thoughts in a more concise coherent

186

and clear way that's oftentimes my problem with communication as i'm

187

rambling as you put it yesterday is to be more direct

188

but also to be more empathetic um typically at work

189

but also i've got a wife and two daughters so

190

if there's one key takeaway for this course it's for uh

191

me to have more control over my message oh how good is that now i know what you're thinking

192

The biggest question at this point is, all right, Vin, I get it.

193

I understand now that shy is not my identity.

194

Shy is just a series of behaviors.

195

And now that I've identified that I do a lot of these behaviors

196

and I've also identified the behaviors that I should practice, the confident ones, then my question to you, Vin, now is, how long does it take for me to change?

197

How long does it take for me to see the transformation?

198

Well, that's a very long question you just asked me.

199

But here's what I'm going to say.

200

The changes that you saw with my students in the videos that I've shared, it took them three days.

201

Most people will wait their entire lives before they change the way they communicate.

202

Some actually never do.

203

So most of them spend their entire lives living inside the illusion that they are shy, that they're stuck with being shy.

204

And then from that belief, they build a stack of limits around themselves.

205

Oh, I'm shy so I can't ask for a pay rise.

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I'm shy so I can't get that damn promotion.

207

Jason's probably gonna get it.

208

I'm shy so I can't advance in my career.

209

I'm shy so I can't step into the life that I actually want.

210

All of these are myths.

211

They're false beliefs.

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They're not real.

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They're built on a case of mistaken identity.

214

Shy is just a series of behaviors and behaviors can be changed.

215

So here's what I want to leave you with.

216

You are not shy.

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You've been practicing shyness.

218

And the most important question you can ask yourself right now about your communication skills, about how you show up, is this.

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Is the person that I'm practicing the person I want to be?

220

If the answer is no, you know what to do.

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Start practicing confident behaviors.

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The ones that I shared with you in this video.

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Do it consistently.

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Do it with intention.

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And give the future version of yourself a chance.

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And this is just the beginning.

227

As you're practicing new communication behaviors, you're gonna make some common mistakes that can be avoided.

228

So make sure you watch this video up here to learn what they are.

229

These are simple things you can adjust to help you level up your confidence even more.

230

See you in the next video.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “Why You're So Good At Being Shy..” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: shy, behavior, confident, practicing, confidence. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 230 cümle ve 2611 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 14:51 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 176 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %84’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
perceive fiil	/pɚˈsiv/	algılamak
shyness isim	/ˈʃaɪnəs/	utangaçlık
gesture isim	/ˈd͡ʒɛs.t͡ʃɚ/	işaret, jest
vocal sıfat	/ˈvoʊ̯.kəl/	vokal
visibility isim	/ˌvɪz.əˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/	görülebilirlik
articulation isim	/ɑɹˌtɪk.jəˈleɪ.ʃən/	mafsal
concise sıfat	/kənˈsaɪs/	mucez, özlü
elbow isim	/ˈɛlboʊ̯/	dirsek
amplifier isim	/ˈæm.plə.faɪ.ə/	amplifikatör
charismatic sıfat	/ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/	karizmatik
nervousness isim		gerginlik, heyecan
pronunciation isim	/pɹəˌnʌn.siˈeɪ.ʃən/	telaffuz, okunuş
dart isim	/dɑɹt/	kargı
interrupt fiil	/ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/	kesilmek, kesmek
melody isim	/ˈmɛl.ə.di/	melodi, ezgi

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
come across fiil		karşıdan karşıya geçmek
come out fiil	/ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/	çıkmak
get up fiil		kalkmak
show up fiil		ortaya çıkmak

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:

Who are you practicing being every single day?
I mean, doesn't this look like somebody who's shy?
Do you know who mumbles in life?
I don't sound alive, do I?
Is the person that I'm practicing the person I want to be?

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — önceden başlayıp hâlâ süren bir eylem	you've been practicing · they've been practicing
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	you've practiced · they've become · they've never stopped
Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli	are not stuck · are rolled · You've been categorized
İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi	friends who care · people who are · people who speak

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı you're, I'm, they're gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 101 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“th” sesleri: authoritative /əˈθɔɹɪˌteɪtɪv/, empathetic /ˌɛmpəˈθɛtɪk/, width /ˈwɪtθ/, myth /mɪθ/
“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: shyness /ˈʃaɪnəs/, articulation /ɑɹˌtɪk.jəˈleɪ.ʃən/, unconsciously /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəsli/, pronunciation /pɹəˌnʌn.siˈeɪ.ʃən/, compassionate /kəmˈpæʃənət/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: visibility /ˌvɪz.əˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/, articulation /ɑɹˌtɪk.jəˈleɪ.ʃən/, amplifier /ˈæm.plə.faɪ.ə/, authoritative /əˈθɔɹɪˌteɪtɪv/, categorize /ˈkætɪɡəˌɹaɪz/

Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:

/w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: takeaway /ˈteɪkəweɪ/, width /ˈwɪtθ/, workplace /ˈwɝkˌpleɪs/
Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: clasp /klæsp/, transform /tɹænsˈfɔɹm/, scan /skæn/, humanly /ˈhjuːmənli/, pronunciation /pɹəˌnʌn.siˈeɪ.ʃən/
/æ/ — “e”den daha açık: clasp /klæsp/, ramble /ˈɹæmbəl/, transform /tɹænsˈfɔɹm/, scan /skæn/, amplifier /ˈæm.plə.faɪ.ə/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; perceive, shyness, gesture gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?