Shadowing Practice: you're not being kind - you're performing - Learn English Speaking with Video

You do not know me.

Why are you making yourself so available?

Kindness without truth is manipulation.

I don't want to give a fucking performance.

Like, I'm gonna be nice, but I'm not gonna be like, oh my god, like, yes, of course.

Anyway, I sound like such a bitch.

Hi, guys.

Okay, we are back with another journal entry.

I know, I promised you guys, like, weekly journal.

I don't know about weekly journal entries, but so far we're going pretty strong.

is it the people who appear the most cold to you at the beginning are always very kind people

when you get to know them

and also why are the people who are like super warm

and super welcoming at the beginning tend to be f*ing bitches

and again oh my god i always have to give a little disclaimer

because you guys get into very defensive mode

if you guys happen to be one of the people who

are like super welcoming at the beginning i just want to say again once again it depends on context

so i was looking through the comment section because i found that topic to be very interesting because

way of why I think that way.

Again, I always say this coming from a formal people pleaser myself.

I was always very, very friendly.

And I think I was that way, you know, super friendly at the beginning first, you know, just, just to be nice.

But I think a lot of people are nice and they're not really kind.

And for me, I was like super, super nice.

Why?

Because I wanted you to like me.

That's it.

I wanted you to like me.

But the thing was that I didn't even care if I liked you.

I want you to like me.

And when you really think about that, that's kind of manipulative.

When you really, really think about it.

It's like, I'm not really showing you exactly who I am, like 100 % of who I but I'm going to be super friendly.

Just making myself super available, super nice, just being there 100 % for you.

But I don't know shit about you.

I don't know anything about you.

Why am I acting like this?

Why do I act like that back then?

It's because of insecurity.

I didn't feel secure myself.

I wanted other people to kind of like validate me in some ways.

And so when I see these, it's like I can see both sides of the coins when that girl posted a TikTok.

And it was just such good conversation.

And nowadays, I think that as time goes on, I don't want to make myself sound fucking ancient, goes on you just learn more stuff

and i realize nowadays people might maybe even call me a bitch

because i'm not like hey girlie what is up

when i first meet someone it's very cool calm and collected

because i don't want to perform i don't want to give

a fucking performance being super fucking friendly like i'm gonna be nice

but i'm not gonna be fucking crazy i'm not gonna be

like oh my god like yes of course okay wait i

sound like such a bitch i sound like such a bitch

but like you know what i mean i'm not putting up a performance that shit's for like high school me

Find some other bitches.

I do think that the way you act keeps certain people away

if I'm acting fucking cold I don't attract the fake ass bitches.

Oh, maybe you do sometimes maybe the way you act right

now It makes some people like want to act a certain way for you to like them.

You know, I mean, they might be oh my gosh She doesn't really seem to really care about me.

She doesn't really seem to like me I'm gonna do everything for her to like me there's pros

and cons because I think that the way I that I am, I do think that sometimes maybe it's harder to make friends.

It's easier to make friends where you're super friendly at the beginning.

I just think that's a fact.

But I think that to keep them long term, that's another question.

That I don't know.

You have to ask other people who act like, hi girlies.

I don't do that anymore.

So honestly, I cannot compare.

Wait, when I really think about that, I feel like back in college when I used to act like that, it was easy to make friends at the beginning.

But then afterwards, it was just a little different because you don't even know who the fuck you are.

You just want other people to like you.

I don't And you have to keep up with it.

And most of the time we can't keep up with it because when you get to know someone for a while, they can't keep pretending forever.

And the same with people.

You can't pretend in your romantic relationships.

You can't pretend in your platonic relationships.

It's just things fall apart.

And it's much easier to just be who you are.

So back then I would act extremely friendly, just be very low maintenance so people will like me.

And now as I've gotten older, I feel like I've gotten the other end.

I'm also on the receiving end now.

them which isn't a bad thing

but it doesn't doesn't feel like who you are like it just feels like you're just making yourself

so available but the thing is

that you don't know me you do not know me why are you making yourself

so available don't do that

and it's like you don't own anyone anything you have to

first figure out do you like this person you might be oh it's

because you post online so people already know who you are yes

and no i feel like i post a lot of things online to share

but like it takes one to interact with me to get to know me better even for me like

when i interact with other influencers or creators it's the same same thing.

Maybe yes, maybe I know what your favorite food is, maybe your favorite color, but I don't know you as a person.

I see you through the screen and yes, it's like I enjoy your content, but I need to get to know, I need to sit down and this is just going to be like a blank state

and I need to interact with you.

And so truthfully, no, I don't know.

Even if you post online, I actually don't really know much about you because I've never interacted with you.

100

All I've seen is you talking to your camera and that's about it.

101

And people who try to people please you now that I'm on the receiving end, there's a lot of resentment that builds up.

102

When you really They act a certain way, act a certain way.

103

And then once you become friends with them and once you interact with them, the mask slowly falls off.

104

And then you're probably confused.

105

Like, who am I interacting with?

106

And yeah, it's just like as time goes on.

107

Resentment builds, and that just sucks.

108

Just much easier to just show up as who you are rather than pretending to be someone.

109

And then the other point is that if being cold and bitchy, does that automatically mean that they're going to be a good person?

110

Fuck no. No, it just depends on context.

111

I feel like I'm slowly getting there where I just act how I am.

112

you act how you are authentically without like sugarcoating things like

113

yes some people might think you're bitchy it's like no i'm not i'm not rude it's just

114

that i'm not extremely nice i don't have to be like

115

oh my god yes of course i'm just like yes that's fine

116

but yeah some people might call you bitchy for that

117

and maybe that's like something with their own insecurities i don't know

118

but i do realize that people respect you more when you act

119

that way they take you more seriously for me i don't really like to waste time so sometimes

120

when i like do interact with random strangers for certain scenarios

121

i kind of just like want to get straight to the point and interactions.

122

I'm like, yeah, maybe I could have been friendlier, but then I'm like, I wasn't rude.

123

I just wasn't smiling all the time.

124

And it makes life easier for me.

125

People think I'm a bitch.

126

I'm a bitch.

127

I don't care.

128

I don't like you until I like you.

129

I truly believe that you will meet people who are going to be similar to you.

130

And again, I'm not saying that, oh, I'm never friendly.

131

I always have like a bitchy face on.

132

No, if I want to be friends with someone, I'm going to be friendly, but like, I'm not going to go over the board.

133

And I want to pull up that TikTok.

134

I want to look Some people are saying that because they're not trying to manipulate you into liking them.

135

That is the top comment and that's very very true.

136

Like even for me back then yes, even if you don't really realize that you're trying to manipulate someone into liking you, that is basically what is going on.

137

You're not being truthful.

138

I remember it was Emma Watson that said it.

139

Oh okay, she said it.

140

Kindness without truth is manipulation.

141

And that is really crazy when you think about it

142

because it's like you're not really showing your true self to the person.

143

You're just being nice and there's no truth in that.

144

And also people say that a friend to all is a friend to none and that's very true.

145

by the fact that not picking a side is picking a side

146

and I don't like being friends with people like that and you might be like, "Well, I don't want to get like involved in things.

147

This was like not about me.

148

I don't want to get involved." That's fine.

149

But you cannot get upset when the other person doesn't want to be friends with you.

150

Friend A and friend B has a fallout

151

and you're also in the friend group and they both tell you what happened and you just be, "I want to be friends with both of them." You know, maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but if you want to be friends with both of them,

152

do not get offended if one of the friends don't want to be friends with you anymore

153

because you're friends with the person who hurt her.

154

with everything you know if i tell you someone did something

155

and they hurt me

156

and you're a really good friend to me i'm talking like you know we are good friends

157

and you're still friends gonna talk to the other

158

that hurt me then i'm not gonna be cool with you i'm still trying to figure this out actually

159

which is that some people

160

that you meet you know just a few times you wouldn't consider them like a very close close friend

161

but they tell you stuff about other people

162

and for me my automatic instinct is

163

that oh they told me about this other person you know i don't really know this other person

164

but i'm not really gonna hang out with them because my friend told me that they hurt them

165

you don't need two sides of the story as in like

166

if your best friend told you something but

167

if it's like someone that's like an acquaintance and they tell you

168

that and it's like the water is kind of muddy like you don't really know what to do

169

so i think it's just like being aware of what you're being told

170

and who's telling you that sometimes

171

when you don't get two sides of the story just notice

172

that be aware of that

173

but yeah let me see let me see what else did people say people say

174

that i'm not nice i'm kind because we don't use people

175

because they aren't performing for others approval or validation that's true

176

because when you really just show up as just yourself and

177

to be someone most of the time like yeah people won't fucking like you

178

but then it's like for those people they don't really care

179

about whether people like them they're just showing up as who they are they care about whether they like you and

180

if they don't like you they don't give a fuck about

181

you they don't care i think it's just really realistic in this world

182

because you can't care for everyone you just can't do

183

that you can't be friends with everyone like i always say

184

and you trying to be friends with everyone it just i

185

don't know it's a lot how do you build any sort

186

of meaningful friendship set personally remember me bitches who want to be friends with everyone

187

Fucking cake you can have your own fucking take.

188

This is my channel.

189

I get to say what my takes are.

190

I don't trust people like that I just want to see what else people have said in that.

191

Oh, some people said that

192

because overly nice people are hiding their intentions It's to quiet chill people

193

that don't care what you think also people have said it's more

194

that we're quiet observant rather than cold and abrasive It's because we're aware of the patterns.

195

We're just sitting back and doing research.

196

That's very true It keeps the fake people away fake people won't tolerate the cold

197

and abrasive people people are so performative They are not cold.

198

They just give their energy only to those who deserve it.

199

We are protecting our peace, aka people with healthy boundaries.

200

We are cold at first to freeze out the fakers.

201

The devil always comes as your friend.

202

That is one crazy ass fucking line.

203

I hide my nice side until you prove you're worth it because we don't know how to be fake.

204

For me, I disagree because I know how to be fake.

205

I can be fake as fuck.

206

Actually, can I?

207

I think it's hard for me to be fake for a very long time because sometimes if something doesn't interest me, it's very hard.

208

be like oh my god really i'll just say

209

that like 10 more times oh my god really no way

210

oh my god it's very hard for me to show interest in things

211

if it really just doesn't interest me

212

and this is what you're getting i'm showing up

213

if you don't with that you don't with

214

that that's cool yes of course i can always change who i want to be

215

but sometimes when something doesn't interest me then it doesn't interest me

216

and sometimes i am just the type of that get drained really easily

217

and sometimes when there's a lot of people talking i just can't contribute

218

because i'd rather listen and sometimes i don't want to listen i just want to go home Once again, authenticity is very, very important.

219

I feel truly good about myself and I feel truly aligned to myself when I'm one and one to myself.

220

You know, I just act how I want to act.

221

I feel really good about that.

222

I show excitement when I want to show excitement.

223

I want to be cringe when I want to be cringe.

224

I'm sad when I want to be sad.

225

I'm angry when I want to be angry.

226

And that makes me feel truly good about myself.

227

For moments where we don't have to be performative, like we should just not be performative because that takes a lot of energy.

228

Because like when you're being

229

But like moments where it really doesn't affect your survival like

230

day -to -day relationships friendships just be true to who you are Trust me.

231

It saves a lot of fucking time Imagine you pouring

232

so much time into a friendship

233

But you are pretending to be someone the entire time

234

and you're gonna be upset at that person

235

and you're not gonna be happy with yourself Because sometimes when you have a friendship, it's just like there's a certain rhythm

236

that goes with it You kind of set that rhythm

237

when you start interacting with

238

that person You might as well set the rhythm of the friendship based off of who you actually are

239

and they don't like you But yeah, that's basically what I wanted to talk about today because I literally saw a TikTok and I was like, damn, I want to reflect on that.

240

Even back then when people were like overly nice to me, something was very off about them.

241

And I never really liked them when I really think about it.

242

And I felt like a bitch.

243

I would literally say I don't like them.

244

And I'm like, why don't I like them?

245

You know, it made me feel like a piece of shit.

246

And yes, there's nothing truly wrong with being nice.

247

But sometimes just like being overly nice when you first meet someone, like why is that happening?

248

And I've always gravitate more towards people who are just more chill.

249

because back then, I remember people were like chill.

250

I was like, oh, why is she being such a bitch?

251

Why is she being like so rude?

252

And no, it was because back then I was insecure as fuck.

253

So I just felt like me being super people pleasing, making people like me, being manipulative as fuck.

254

Okay, it wasn't, it wasn't, okay, okay.

255

I think back then I didn't know that I was like manipulating people.

256

I just knew that I just wanted to be nice to people so people can like me.

257

That was like in high school, also college, literally first two years of college.

258

And then, yeah, it was because those people, they saw me being overly nice.

259

They probably sensed that they were like, oh, this girl just wanted people to please me.

260

This is not a real bitch.

261

And they're usually older than me, too, which makes sense.

262

And now that I'm older, I can sense the same thing, too, which is so funny when you think about it.

263

It's like you become what you were scared of before.

264

I was kind of scared of them, not going to lie, but like low key, when I got to know them, I'm like, damn, these people are real as fuck.

265

Anyways, that is it for this journal entry.

266

to spark some conversations

267

because that's like made the goal my journal entries just to like really get me thinking

268

and get you thinking when something makes me think i tell you guys

269

so yeah that is basically the episode and i hope you guys liked it and

270

if you guys have any other topics you guys want me

271

to talk about i would just want you guys to keep it very very specific

272

because sometimes you guys just are like uh what are your

273

red flags i'm like babe babe like red flags can you be a little bit more specific

274

so the more specific the better

275

and maybe in the comment section you guys can vote

276

which one you guys want me to talk about next so yeah anyways i will see you guys all very

277

Bye! you

📺 Aynı Kanal

what I've learned in friendships as a 24 year old (high maintenance, standards, harsh reality)

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

✨ Video Öner

30 cümleler

The One Thing That Will Make Everyone Like You

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

125 cümleler

Classic Movie Scenes: LA LA LAND (2016) // Argument // Script-to-Screen

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

319 cümleler

How to ACTUALLY Let Them?

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

192 cümleler

新同事一直對我很熱情，我卻分不清他是真的喜歡我，還是只是客氣｜Real Life Social English

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

191 cümleler

E13: British Politeness Culture — After You, No After You | English Like Locals

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

136 cümleler

Are you making yourself miserable?

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

339 cümleler

mastering self concept: you don't get what you want. you get who you are.

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

65 cümleler

My Best Friend Leaked My Secret To Impress A Woman (I Walked Away).

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

203 cümleler

Why Do Compliments Feel Uncomfortable Sometimes? | B2 English Shadowing

Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students

96 cümleler

how to be insanely more fun to talk to

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

240 cümleler

Is He My Boyfriend or Just a Friend With Benefits?

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

128 cümleler

Be Careful Who You Let Into Your Life…Some People Study You

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “you're not being kind - you're performing” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 277 cümle ve 3282 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 13:26 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 244 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %87’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
manipulate fiil	/məˈnɪp.jʊ.leɪt/	manipüle etmek
rhythm isim	/ˈɹɪð.əm/	ritim, ritm
resentment isim	/ɹɪˈzɛnt.mənt/	dargınlık, burukluk
manipulation isim	/məˌnɪp.juˈleɪ.ʃən/	manipülasyon
kindness isim	/ˈkaɪnd.nəs/	incelik, kibarlık
scare fiil	/skɛɚ/	korkutmak
excitement isim	/ɪkˈsaɪtmənt/	heyecan, teheyyüç
disclaimer isim	/dɪsˈkleɪm.ɚ/	sorumluluk reddi, feragatname
influencer isim	/ˈɪnflu.ənsə(ɹ)/	influencer
truthful sıfat	/ˈtɹuːθ.f(ə)l/	gerçekçi
acquaintance isim	/ʌˈkweɪn.təns/	aşina
muddy sıfat	/ˈmʌdi/	çamurlu
align fiil	/əˈlaɪn/	hizalanmak, hizaya geçmek
fallout isim	/ˈfɔlˌaʊt/	serpinti
insecure sıfat	/ɪnsəˈkjʊɹ/	emniyetsiz, güvensiz

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Kelime	Anlam
show up fiil	ortaya çıkmak
fall apart fiil	altüst olmak
figure out fiil	açığa çıkarmak
put up fiil	koymak
sit down fiil	oturmak

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:

Why are you making yourself so available?
I don't know anything about you.
Why am I acting like this?
Why do I act like that back then?
I didn't feel secure myself.

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi	people who appear · people who are · people who act
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	I've gotten · I've never interacted · I've seen

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı don't, I'm, you're gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 164 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“th” sesleri: rhythm /ˈɹɪð.əm/, truthful /ˈtɹuːθ.f(ə)l/, truthfully /ˈtɹuːθ.fəl.i/, authenticity /ɑθɛnˈtɪsɪti/
“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: manipulation /məˌnɪp.juˈleɪ.ʃən/, sugarcoat /ˈʃʊɡɚˌkoʊt/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: manipulate /məˈnɪp.jʊ.leɪt/, manipulation /məˌnɪp.juˈleɪ.ʃən/, influencer /ˈɪnflu.ənsə(ɹ)/, authenticity /ɑθɛnˈtɪsɪti/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; manipulate, rhythm, resentment gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

Shadowing tekniği: adım adım eksiksiz rehberi okuyun →

Shadowing Practice: you're not being kind - you're performing - Learn English Speaking with Video

watch this before 2026

people you should watch out for (how to spot toxic friends)

do you actually want it or do you just want to be seen with it?

The Courage to be Disliked Summary + my honest review

why audacity is always better than potential

just let them.

what I've learned in friendships as a 24 year old (high maintenance, standards, harsh reality)

The One Thing That Will Make Everyone Like You

Classic Movie Scenes: LA LA LAND (2016) // Argument // Script-to-Screen

How to ACTUALLY Let Them?

新同事一直對我很熱情，我卻分不清他是真的喜歡我，還是只是客氣｜Real Life Social English

E13: British Politeness Culture — After You, No After You | English Like Locals

Are you making yourself miserable?

mastering self concept: you don't get what you want. you get who you are.

My Best Friend Leaked My Secret To Impress A Woman (I Walked Away).

Why Do Compliments Feel Uncomfortable Sometimes? | B2 English Shadowing

how to be insanely more fun to talk to

Is He My Boyfriend or Just a Friend With Benefits?

Be Careful Who You Let Into Your Life…Some People Study You

Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?