跟讀練習: you're not being kind - you're performing - 通過影片學習英語口語

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You do not know me.

Why are you making yourself so available?

Kindness without truth is manipulation.

I don't want to give a fucking performance.

Like, I'm gonna be nice, but I'm not gonna be like, oh my god, like, yes, of course.

Anyway, I sound like such a bitch.

Hi, guys.

Okay, we are back with another journal entry.

I know, I promised you guys, like, weekly journal.

I don't know about weekly journal entries, but so far we're going pretty strong.

is it the people who appear the most cold to you at the beginning are always very kind people

when you get to know them

and also why are the people who are like super warm

and super welcoming at the beginning tend to be f*ing bitches

and again oh my god i always have to give a little disclaimer

because you guys get into very defensive mode

if you guys happen to be one of the people who

are like super welcoming at the beginning i just want to say again once again it depends on context

so i was looking through the comment section because i found that topic to be very interesting because

way of why I think that way.

Again, I always say this coming from a formal people pleaser myself.

I was always very, very friendly.

And I think I was that way, you know, super friendly at the beginning first, you know, just, just to be nice.

But I think a lot of people are nice and they're not really kind.

And for me, I was like super, super nice.

Why?

Because I wanted you to like me.

That's it.

I wanted you to like me.

But the thing was that I didn't even care if I liked you.

I want you to like me.

And when you really think about that, that's kind of manipulative.

When you really, really think about it.

It's like, I'm not really showing you exactly who I am, like 100 % of who I but I'm going to be super friendly.

Just making myself super available, super nice, just being there 100 % for you.

But I don't know shit about you.

I don't know anything about you.

Why am I acting like this?

Why do I act like that back then?

It's because of insecurity.

I didn't feel secure myself.

I wanted other people to kind of like validate me in some ways.

And so when I see these, it's like I can see both sides of the coins when that girl posted a TikTok.

And it was just such good conversation.

And nowadays, I think that as time goes on, I don't want to make myself sound fucking ancient, goes on you just learn more stuff

and i realize nowadays people might maybe even call me a bitch

because i'm not like hey girlie what is up

when i first meet someone it's very cool calm and collected

because i don't want to perform i don't want to give

a fucking performance being super fucking friendly like i'm gonna be nice

but i'm not gonna be fucking crazy i'm not gonna be

like oh my god like yes of course okay wait i

sound like such a bitch i sound like such a bitch

but like you know what i mean i'm not putting up a performance that shit's for like high school me

Find some other bitches.

I do think that the way you act keeps certain people away

if I'm acting fucking cold I don't attract the fake ass bitches.

Oh, maybe you do sometimes maybe the way you act right

now It makes some people like want to act a certain way for you to like them.

You know, I mean, they might be oh my gosh She doesn't really seem to really care about me.

She doesn't really seem to like me I'm gonna do everything for her to like me there's pros

and cons because I think that the way I that I am, I do think that sometimes maybe it's harder to make friends.

It's easier to make friends where you're super friendly at the beginning.

I just think that's a fact.

But I think that to keep them long term, that's another question.

That I don't know.

You have to ask other people who act like, hi girlies.

I don't do that anymore.

So honestly, I cannot compare.

Wait, when I really think about that, I feel like back in college when I used to act like that, it was easy to make friends at the beginning.

But then afterwards, it was just a little different because you don't even know who the fuck you are.

You just want other people to like you.

I don't And you have to keep up with it.

And most of the time we can't keep up with it because when you get to know someone for a while, they can't keep pretending forever.

And the same with people.

You can't pretend in your romantic relationships.

You can't pretend in your platonic relationships.

It's just things fall apart.

And it's much easier to just be who you are.

So back then I would act extremely friendly, just be very low maintenance so people will like me.

And now as I've gotten older, I feel like I've gotten the other end.

I'm also on the receiving end now.

them which isn't a bad thing

but it doesn't doesn't feel like who you are like it just feels like you're just making yourself

so available but the thing is

that you don't know me you do not know me why are you making yourself

so available don't do that

and it's like you don't own anyone anything you have to

first figure out do you like this person you might be oh it's

because you post online so people already know who you are yes

and no i feel like i post a lot of things online to share

but like it takes one to interact with me to get to know me better even for me like

when i interact with other influencers or creators it's the same same thing.

Maybe yes, maybe I know what your favorite food is, maybe your favorite color, but I don't know you as a person.

I see you through the screen and yes, it's like I enjoy your content, but I need to get to know, I need to sit down and this is just going to be like a blank state

and I need to interact with you.

And so truthfully, no, I don't know.

Even if you post online, I actually don't really know much about you because I've never interacted with you.

100

All I've seen is you talking to your camera and that's about it.

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And people who try to people please you now that I'm on the receiving end, there's a lot of resentment that builds up.

102

When you really They act a certain way, act a certain way.

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And then once you become friends with them and once you interact with them, the mask slowly falls off.

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And then you're probably confused.

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Like, who am I interacting with?

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And yeah, it's just like as time goes on.

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Resentment builds, and that just sucks.

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Just much easier to just show up as who you are rather than pretending to be someone.

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And then the other point is that if being cold and bitchy, does that automatically mean that they're going to be a good person?

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Fuck no. No, it just depends on context.

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I feel like I'm slowly getting there where I just act how I am.

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you act how you are authentically without like sugarcoating things like

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yes some people might think you're bitchy it's like no i'm not i'm not rude it's just

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that i'm not extremely nice i don't have to be like

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oh my god yes of course i'm just like yes that's fine

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but yeah some people might call you bitchy for that

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and maybe that's like something with their own insecurities i don't know

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but i do realize that people respect you more when you act

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that way they take you more seriously for me i don't really like to waste time so sometimes

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when i like do interact with random strangers for certain scenarios

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i kind of just like want to get straight to the point and interactions.

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I'm like, yeah, maybe I could have been friendlier, but then I'm like, I wasn't rude.

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I just wasn't smiling all the time.

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And it makes life easier for me.

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People think I'm a bitch.

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I'm a bitch.

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I don't care.

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I don't like you until I like you.

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I truly believe that you will meet people who are going to be similar to you.

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And again, I'm not saying that, oh, I'm never friendly.

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I always have like a bitchy face on.

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No, if I want to be friends with someone, I'm going to be friendly, but like, I'm not going to go over the board.

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And I want to pull up that TikTok.

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I want to look Some people are saying that because they're not trying to manipulate you into liking them.

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That is the top comment and that's very very true.

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Like even for me back then yes, even if you don't really realize that you're trying to manipulate someone into liking you, that is basically what is going on.

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You're not being truthful.

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I remember it was Emma Watson that said it.

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Oh okay, she said it.

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Kindness without truth is manipulation.

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And that is really crazy when you think about it

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because it's like you're not really showing your true self to the person.

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You're just being nice and there's no truth in that.

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And also people say that a friend to all is a friend to none and that's very true.

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by the fact that not picking a side is picking a side

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and I don't like being friends with people like that and you might be like, "Well, I don't want to get like involved in things.

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This was like not about me.

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I don't want to get involved." That's fine.

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But you cannot get upset when the other person doesn't want to be friends with you.

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Friend A and friend B has a fallout

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and you're also in the friend group and they both tell you what happened and you just be, "I want to be friends with both of them." You know, maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but if you want to be friends with both of them,

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do not get offended if one of the friends don't want to be friends with you anymore

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because you're friends with the person who hurt her.

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with everything you know if i tell you someone did something

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and they hurt me

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and you're a really good friend to me i'm talking like you know we are good friends

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and you're still friends gonna talk to the other

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that hurt me then i'm not gonna be cool with you i'm still trying to figure this out actually

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which is that some people

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that you meet you know just a few times you wouldn't consider them like a very close close friend

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but they tell you stuff about other people

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and for me my automatic instinct is

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that oh they told me about this other person you know i don't really know this other person

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but i'm not really gonna hang out with them because my friend told me that they hurt them

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you don't need two sides of the story as in like

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if your best friend told you something but

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if it's like someone that's like an acquaintance and they tell you

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that and it's like the water is kind of muddy like you don't really know what to do

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so i think it's just like being aware of what you're being told

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and who's telling you that sometimes

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when you don't get two sides of the story just notice

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that be aware of that

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but yeah let me see let me see what else did people say people say

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that i'm not nice i'm kind because we don't use people

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because they aren't performing for others approval or validation that's true

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because when you really just show up as just yourself and

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to be someone most of the time like yeah people won't fucking like you

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but then it's like for those people they don't really care

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about whether people like them they're just showing up as who they are they care about whether they like you and

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if they don't like you they don't give a fuck about

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you they don't care i think it's just really realistic in this world

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because you can't care for everyone you just can't do

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that you can't be friends with everyone like i always say

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and you trying to be friends with everyone it just i

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don't know it's a lot how do you build any sort

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of meaningful friendship set personally remember me bitches who want to be friends with everyone

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Fucking cake you can have your own fucking take.

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This is my channel.

189

I get to say what my takes are.

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I don't trust people like that I just want to see what else people have said in that.

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Oh, some people said that

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because overly nice people are hiding their intentions It's to quiet chill people

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that don't care what you think also people have said it's more

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that we're quiet observant rather than cold and abrasive It's because we're aware of the patterns.

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We're just sitting back and doing research.

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That's very true It keeps the fake people away fake people won't tolerate the cold

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and abrasive people people are so performative They are not cold.

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They just give their energy only to those who deserve it.

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We are protecting our peace, aka people with healthy boundaries.

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We are cold at first to freeze out the fakers.

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The devil always comes as your friend.

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That is one crazy ass fucking line.

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I hide my nice side until you prove you're worth it because we don't know how to be fake.

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For me, I disagree because I know how to be fake.

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I can be fake as fuck.

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Actually, can I?

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I think it's hard for me to be fake for a very long time because sometimes if something doesn't interest me, it's very hard.

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be like oh my god really i'll just say

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that like 10 more times oh my god really no way

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oh my god it's very hard for me to show interest in things

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if it really just doesn't interest me

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and this is what you're getting i'm showing up

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if you don't with that you don't with

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that that's cool yes of course i can always change who i want to be

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but sometimes when something doesn't interest me then it doesn't interest me

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and sometimes i am just the type of that get drained really easily

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and sometimes when there's a lot of people talking i just can't contribute

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because i'd rather listen and sometimes i don't want to listen i just want to go home Once again, authenticity is very, very important.

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I feel truly good about myself and I feel truly aligned to myself when I'm one and one to myself.

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You know, I just act how I want to act.

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I feel really good about that.

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I show excitement when I want to show excitement.

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I want to be cringe when I want to be cringe.

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I'm sad when I want to be sad.

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I'm angry when I want to be angry.

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And that makes me feel truly good about myself.

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For moments where we don't have to be performative, like we should just not be performative because that takes a lot of energy.

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Because like when you're being

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But like moments where it really doesn't affect your survival like

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day -to -day relationships friendships just be true to who you are Trust me.

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It saves a lot of fucking time Imagine you pouring

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so much time into a friendship

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But you are pretending to be someone the entire time

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and you're gonna be upset at that person

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and you're not gonna be happy with yourself Because sometimes when you have a friendship, it's just like there's a certain rhythm

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that goes with it You kind of set that rhythm

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when you start interacting with

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that person You might as well set the rhythm of the friendship based off of who you actually are

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and they don't like you But yeah, that's basically what I wanted to talk about today because I literally saw a TikTok and I was like, damn, I want to reflect on that.

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Even back then when people were like overly nice to me, something was very off about them.

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And I never really liked them when I really think about it.

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And I felt like a bitch.

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I would literally say I don't like them.

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And I'm like, why don't I like them?

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You know, it made me feel like a piece of shit.

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And yes, there's nothing truly wrong with being nice.

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But sometimes just like being overly nice when you first meet someone, like why is that happening?

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And I've always gravitate more towards people who are just more chill.

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because back then, I remember people were like chill.

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I was like, oh, why is she being such a bitch?

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Why is she being like so rude?

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And no, it was because back then I was insecure as fuck.

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So I just felt like me being super people pleasing, making people like me, being manipulative as fuck.

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Okay, it wasn't, it wasn't, okay, okay.

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I think back then I didn't know that I was like manipulating people.

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I just knew that I just wanted to be nice to people so people can like me.

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That was like in high school, also college, literally first two years of college.

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And then, yeah, it was because those people, they saw me being overly nice.

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They probably sensed that they were like, oh, this girl just wanted people to please me.

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This is not a real bitch.

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And they're usually older than me, too, which makes sense.

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And now that I'm older, I can sense the same thing, too, which is so funny when you think about it.

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It's like you become what you were scared of before.

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I was kind of scared of them, not going to lie, but like low key, when I got to know them, I'm like, damn, these people are real as fuck.

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Anyways, that is it for this journal entry.

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to spark some conversations

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because that's like made the goal my journal entries just to like really get me thinking

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and get you thinking when something makes me think i tell you guys

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so yeah that is basically the episode and i hope you guys liked it and

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if you guys have any other topics you guys want me

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to talk about i would just want you guys to keep it very very specific

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because sometimes you guys just are like uh what are your

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red flags i'm like babe babe like red flags can you be a little bit more specific

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so the more specific the better

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and maybe in the comment section you guys can vote

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which one you guys want me to talk about next so yeah anyways i will see you guys all very

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Bye! you

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FOR YOU

關於本課

在本節課中，學習者將專注於練習真實的表達與人際交往中的真誠。通過分析影片中的對話，學生將能夠了解如何在社交場合中建立真實的連線，而非表面上的友好。影片中提到的共產社會現象和個人動機將引導學生思考自己的交流方式。

關鍵詞彙與短語

友善 (Kindness) - 真正的關心與支援。
表演 (Performance) - 在社交中裝出自己並非真實的狀態。
操控 (Manipulation) - 為了達到自己的目的而影響他人感受的行為。
不安全感 (Insecurity) - 對於自身價值或能力的懷疑。
情境 (Context) - 情況或環境對人際關係的影響。
社交 (Social interaction) - 與他人交流和互動的過程。
真實自我 (Authentic self) - 顯現出真實的內心和個性。
溫暖歡迎 (Warm welcoming) - 友好且熱情的接待方式，但可能並不總是真實的。

練習建議

在觀看影片並進行shadowing練習時，建議學習者認真傾聽影片中說話者的語氣和節奏。本影片在表達時的語速適中，建議您嘗試以下方法來提高您的雅思口語練習效果：

漸進重複：逐句模仿說話者，確保您理解每個詞的發音和情感。
聲調與語氣：注意說話者的情感表達，儘量在您的重複中體現出相同的情緒。
斷句練習：嘗試將長句分成短句，幫助您更好地掌握句子結構。
情境應用：在實際生活中進行角色扮演練習，使用影片中的語言和情境，提高您的交際能力。
使用shadowing site或shadowspeaks：通過這些平臺進行更多的shadow speak練習，提升口語表達的流利度。

以上建議可以幫助您在社交中更好地展示真實的自我，同時也提升雅思口語的表現。在練習過程中，不妨多思考個人表達與他人反應之間的關係，讓您的交流更加自然。

影片中的語法

說話人最常用的結構，並附上影片中的原話：

結構	影片中的用法
定語從句 who / which + 從句 — 補充說明人或事物	people who appear · people who are · people who act
現在完成時 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去發生但與現在仍有關聯的事	I've gotten · I've never interacted · I've seen

什麼是跟讀法？

跟讀法 (Shadowing) 是一種有科學依據的語言學習技巧，最初開發用於專業口譯員的培訓，並由多語言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。這個方法簡單而強大：您在聽英語母語原聲的同時立即大聲重複——就像是一個延遲1-2秒緊跟說話者的影子。與被動聽力或語法練習不同，跟讀法強迫您的大腦和口腔肌肉同時處理並模模擬實的講話模式。研究表明它能顯著提高發音準確性，語調，節奏，連讀，聽力理解和口語流利度——使其成為雅思口語備考和真實英語交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟讀法: 閱讀完整分步指南 →

跟讀練習: you're not being kind - you're performing - 通過影片學習英語口語

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關於本課

關鍵詞彙與短語

練習建議

影片中的語法

什麼是跟讀法？