Shadowing Practice: you're not being kind - you're performing - Learn English Speaking with Video

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277 משפטים

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You do not know me.

Why are you making yourself so available?

Kindness without truth is manipulation.

I don't want to give a fucking performance.

Like, I'm gonna be nice, but I'm not gonna be like, oh my god, like, yes, of course.

Anyway, I sound like such a bitch.

Hi, guys.

Okay, we are back with another journal entry.

I know, I promised you guys, like, weekly journal.

I don't know about weekly journal entries, but so far we're going pretty strong.

is it the people who appear the most cold to you at the beginning are always very kind people

when you get to know them

and also why are the people who are like super warm

and super welcoming at the beginning tend to be f*ing bitches

and again oh my god i always have to give a little disclaimer

because you guys get into very defensive mode

if you guys happen to be one of the people who

are like super welcoming at the beginning i just want to say again once again it depends on context

so i was looking through the comment section because i found that topic to be very interesting because

way of why I think that way.

Again, I always say this coming from a formal people pleaser myself.

I was always very, very friendly.

And I think I was that way, you know, super friendly at the beginning first, you know, just, just to be nice.

But I think a lot of people are nice and they're not really kind.

And for me, I was like super, super nice.

Why?

Because I wanted you to like me.

That's it.

I wanted you to like me.

But the thing was that I didn't even care if I liked you.

I want you to like me.

And when you really think about that, that's kind of manipulative.

When you really, really think about it.

It's like, I'm not really showing you exactly who I am, like 100 % of who I but I'm going to be super friendly.

Just making myself super available, super nice, just being there 100 % for you.

But I don't know shit about you.

I don't know anything about you.

Why am I acting like this?

Why do I act like that back then?

It's because of insecurity.

I didn't feel secure myself.

I wanted other people to kind of like validate me in some ways.

And so when I see these, it's like I can see both sides of the coins when that girl posted a TikTok.

And it was just such good conversation.

And nowadays, I think that as time goes on, I don't want to make myself sound fucking ancient, goes on you just learn more stuff

and i realize nowadays people might maybe even call me a bitch

because i'm not like hey girlie what is up

when i first meet someone it's very cool calm and collected

because i don't want to perform i don't want to give

a fucking performance being super fucking friendly like i'm gonna be nice

but i'm not gonna be fucking crazy i'm not gonna be

like oh my god like yes of course okay wait i

sound like such a bitch i sound like such a bitch

but like you know what i mean i'm not putting up a performance that shit's for like high school me

Find some other bitches.

I do think that the way you act keeps certain people away

if I'm acting fucking cold I don't attract the fake ass bitches.

Oh, maybe you do sometimes maybe the way you act right

now It makes some people like want to act a certain way for you to like them.

You know, I mean, they might be oh my gosh She doesn't really seem to really care about me.

She doesn't really seem to like me I'm gonna do everything for her to like me there's pros

and cons because I think that the way I that I am, I do think that sometimes maybe it's harder to make friends.

It's easier to make friends where you're super friendly at the beginning.

I just think that's a fact.

But I think that to keep them long term, that's another question.

That I don't know.

You have to ask other people who act like, hi girlies.

I don't do that anymore.

So honestly, I cannot compare.

Wait, when I really think about that, I feel like back in college when I used to act like that, it was easy to make friends at the beginning.

But then afterwards, it was just a little different because you don't even know who the fuck you are.

You just want other people to like you.

I don't And you have to keep up with it.

And most of the time we can't keep up with it because when you get to know someone for a while, they can't keep pretending forever.

And the same with people.

You can't pretend in your romantic relationships.

You can't pretend in your platonic relationships.

It's just things fall apart.

And it's much easier to just be who you are.

So back then I would act extremely friendly, just be very low maintenance so people will like me.

And now as I've gotten older, I feel like I've gotten the other end.

I'm also on the receiving end now.

them which isn't a bad thing

but it doesn't doesn't feel like who you are like it just feels like you're just making yourself

so available but the thing is

that you don't know me you do not know me why are you making yourself

so available don't do that

and it's like you don't own anyone anything you have to

first figure out do you like this person you might be oh it's

because you post online so people already know who you are yes

and no i feel like i post a lot of things online to share

but like it takes one to interact with me to get to know me better even for me like

when i interact with other influencers or creators it's the same same thing.

Maybe yes, maybe I know what your favorite food is, maybe your favorite color, but I don't know you as a person.

I see you through the screen and yes, it's like I enjoy your content, but I need to get to know, I need to sit down and this is just going to be like a blank state

and I need to interact with you.

And so truthfully, no, I don't know.

Even if you post online, I actually don't really know much about you because I've never interacted with you.

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All I've seen is you talking to your camera and that's about it.

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And people who try to people please you now that I'm on the receiving end, there's a lot of resentment that builds up.

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When you really They act a certain way, act a certain way.

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And then once you become friends with them and once you interact with them, the mask slowly falls off.

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And then you're probably confused.

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Like, who am I interacting with?

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And yeah, it's just like as time goes on.

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Resentment builds, and that just sucks.

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Just much easier to just show up as who you are rather than pretending to be someone.

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And then the other point is that if being cold and bitchy, does that automatically mean that they're going to be a good person?

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Fuck no. No, it just depends on context.

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I feel like I'm slowly getting there where I just act how I am.

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you act how you are authentically without like sugarcoating things like

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yes some people might think you're bitchy it's like no i'm not i'm not rude it's just

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that i'm not extremely nice i don't have to be like

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oh my god yes of course i'm just like yes that's fine

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but yeah some people might call you bitchy for that

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and maybe that's like something with their own insecurities i don't know

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but i do realize that people respect you more when you act

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that way they take you more seriously for me i don't really like to waste time so sometimes

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when i like do interact with random strangers for certain scenarios

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i kind of just like want to get straight to the point and interactions.

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I'm like, yeah, maybe I could have been friendlier, but then I'm like, I wasn't rude.

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I just wasn't smiling all the time.

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And it makes life easier for me.

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People think I'm a bitch.

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I'm a bitch.

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I don't care.

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I don't like you until I like you.

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I truly believe that you will meet people who are going to be similar to you.

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And again, I'm not saying that, oh, I'm never friendly.

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I always have like a bitchy face on.

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No, if I want to be friends with someone, I'm going to be friendly, but like, I'm not going to go over the board.

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And I want to pull up that TikTok.

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I want to look Some people are saying that because they're not trying to manipulate you into liking them.

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That is the top comment and that's very very true.

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Like even for me back then yes, even if you don't really realize that you're trying to manipulate someone into liking you, that is basically what is going on.

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You're not being truthful.

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I remember it was Emma Watson that said it.

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Oh okay, she said it.

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Kindness without truth is manipulation.

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And that is really crazy when you think about it

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because it's like you're not really showing your true self to the person.

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You're just being nice and there's no truth in that.

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And also people say that a friend to all is a friend to none and that's very true.

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by the fact that not picking a side is picking a side

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and I don't like being friends with people like that and you might be like, "Well, I don't want to get like involved in things.

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This was like not about me.

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I don't want to get involved." That's fine.

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But you cannot get upset when the other person doesn't want to be friends with you.

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Friend A and friend B has a fallout

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and you're also in the friend group and they both tell you what happened and you just be, "I want to be friends with both of them." You know, maybe it works, maybe it doesn't, but if you want to be friends with both of them,

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do not get offended if one of the friends don't want to be friends with you anymore

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because you're friends with the person who hurt her.

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with everything you know if i tell you someone did something

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and they hurt me

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and you're a really good friend to me i'm talking like you know we are good friends

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and you're still friends gonna talk to the other

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that hurt me then i'm not gonna be cool with you i'm still trying to figure this out actually

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which is that some people

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that you meet you know just a few times you wouldn't consider them like a very close close friend

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but they tell you stuff about other people

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and for me my automatic instinct is

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that oh they told me about this other person you know i don't really know this other person

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but i'm not really gonna hang out with them because my friend told me that they hurt them

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you don't need two sides of the story as in like

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if your best friend told you something but

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if it's like someone that's like an acquaintance and they tell you

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that and it's like the water is kind of muddy like you don't really know what to do

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so i think it's just like being aware of what you're being told

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and who's telling you that sometimes

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when you don't get two sides of the story just notice

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that be aware of that

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but yeah let me see let me see what else did people say people say

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that i'm not nice i'm kind because we don't use people

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because they aren't performing for others approval or validation that's true

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because when you really just show up as just yourself and

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to be someone most of the time like yeah people won't fucking like you

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but then it's like for those people they don't really care

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about whether people like them they're just showing up as who they are they care about whether they like you and

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if they don't like you they don't give a fuck about

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you they don't care i think it's just really realistic in this world

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because you can't care for everyone you just can't do

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that you can't be friends with everyone like i always say

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and you trying to be friends with everyone it just i

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don't know it's a lot how do you build any sort

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of meaningful friendship set personally remember me bitches who want to be friends with everyone

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Fucking cake you can have your own fucking take.

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This is my channel.

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I get to say what my takes are.

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I don't trust people like that I just want to see what else people have said in that.

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Oh, some people said that

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because overly nice people are hiding their intentions It's to quiet chill people

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that don't care what you think also people have said it's more

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that we're quiet observant rather than cold and abrasive It's because we're aware of the patterns.

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We're just sitting back and doing research.

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That's very true It keeps the fake people away fake people won't tolerate the cold

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and abrasive people people are so performative They are not cold.

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They just give their energy only to those who deserve it.

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We are protecting our peace, aka people with healthy boundaries.

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We are cold at first to freeze out the fakers.

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The devil always comes as your friend.

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That is one crazy ass fucking line.

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I hide my nice side until you prove you're worth it because we don't know how to be fake.

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For me, I disagree because I know how to be fake.

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I can be fake as fuck.

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Actually, can I?

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I think it's hard for me to be fake for a very long time because sometimes if something doesn't interest me, it's very hard.

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be like oh my god really i'll just say

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that like 10 more times oh my god really no way

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oh my god it's very hard for me to show interest in things

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if it really just doesn't interest me

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and this is what you're getting i'm showing up

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if you don't with that you don't with

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that that's cool yes of course i can always change who i want to be

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but sometimes when something doesn't interest me then it doesn't interest me

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and sometimes i am just the type of that get drained really easily

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and sometimes when there's a lot of people talking i just can't contribute

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because i'd rather listen and sometimes i don't want to listen i just want to go home Once again, authenticity is very, very important.

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I feel truly good about myself and I feel truly aligned to myself when I'm one and one to myself.

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You know, I just act how I want to act.

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I feel really good about that.

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I show excitement when I want to show excitement.

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I want to be cringe when I want to be cringe.

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I'm sad when I want to be sad.

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I'm angry when I want to be angry.

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And that makes me feel truly good about myself.

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For moments where we don't have to be performative, like we should just not be performative because that takes a lot of energy.

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Because like when you're being

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But like moments where it really doesn't affect your survival like

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day -to -day relationships friendships just be true to who you are Trust me.

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It saves a lot of fucking time Imagine you pouring

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so much time into a friendship

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But you are pretending to be someone the entire time

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and you're gonna be upset at that person

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and you're not gonna be happy with yourself Because sometimes when you have a friendship, it's just like there's a certain rhythm

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that goes with it You kind of set that rhythm

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when you start interacting with

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that person You might as well set the rhythm of the friendship based off of who you actually are

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and they don't like you But yeah, that's basically what I wanted to talk about today because I literally saw a TikTok and I was like, damn, I want to reflect on that.

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Even back then when people were like overly nice to me, something was very off about them.

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And I never really liked them when I really think about it.

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And I felt like a bitch.

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I would literally say I don't like them.

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And I'm like, why don't I like them?

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You know, it made me feel like a piece of shit.

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And yes, there's nothing truly wrong with being nice.

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But sometimes just like being overly nice when you first meet someone, like why is that happening?

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And I've always gravitate more towards people who are just more chill.

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because back then, I remember people were like chill.

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I was like, oh, why is she being such a bitch?

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Why is she being like so rude?

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And no, it was because back then I was insecure as fuck.

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So I just felt like me being super people pleasing, making people like me, being manipulative as fuck.

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Okay, it wasn't, it wasn't, okay, okay.

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I think back then I didn't know that I was like manipulating people.

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I just knew that I just wanted to be nice to people so people can like me.

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That was like in high school, also college, literally first two years of college.

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And then, yeah, it was because those people, they saw me being overly nice.

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They probably sensed that they were like, oh, this girl just wanted people to please me.

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This is not a real bitch.

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And they're usually older than me, too, which makes sense.

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And now that I'm older, I can sense the same thing, too, which is so funny when you think about it.

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It's like you become what you were scared of before.

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I was kind of scared of them, not going to lie, but like low key, when I got to know them, I'm like, damn, these people are real as fuck.

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Anyways, that is it for this journal entry.

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to spark some conversations

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because that's like made the goal my journal entries just to like really get me thinking

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and get you thinking when something makes me think i tell you guys

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so yeah that is basically the episode and i hope you guys liked it and

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if you guys have any other topics you guys want me

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to talk about i would just want you guys to keep it very very specific

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because sometimes you guys just are like uh what are your

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red flags i'm like babe babe like red flags can you be a little bit more specific

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so the more specific the better

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and maybe in the comment section you guys can vote

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which one you guys want me to talk about next so yeah anyways i will see you guys all very

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Bye! you

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Why practice speaking with this video?

This video offers a candid exploration of interpersonal relationships and societal behavior, making it an excellent choice for English learners looking to enhance their speaking skills. The speaker discusses the nuances of kindness versus performance, offering robust conversational cues and emotional expressions that provide a relatable context for practice. Engaging with this content allows learners to improve their English pronunciation while developing their ability to express complex ideas and emotions clearly. By using the shadowspeaks technique, you can practice shadow speech effectively, enhancing your ability to articulate similar sentiments in everyday conversation. This practice not only broadens vocabulary but also builds confidence in speaking about personal experiences and social observations.

Grammar & Expressions in Context

Within the transcript, several key grammatical structures and expressions stand out:

“You do not know me.” - This simple present tense phrase effectively conveys a strong, declarative statement that can be useful in standing your ground during discussions.
“Kindness without truth is manipulation.” - This conditional structure emphasizes the importance of honesty in relationships. It can serve as a useful template for forming your own opinions in discussions.
“I want you to like me.” - The use of the present simple and infinitive "to like" presents a personal desire that can help learners articulate their own feelings and wants more effectively.
“I don’t want to give a performance.” - This phrase encapsulates the speaker’s intention and can help you express reluctance or a desire for authenticity in social interactions.
“I can see both sides of the coin.” - This idiom presents a balanced perspective and is an excellent way to show empathy and understanding in conversations.

Common Pronunciation Traps

While practicing with this video, be mindful of certain pronunciation challenges that may arise:

“Kindness” - The syllables can be difficult to pronounce smoothly; practice emphasizing each part: /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/.
“Manipulation” - This multi-syllabic word requires attention to stress and intonation; break it down into /məˌnɪp.jəˈleɪ.ʃən/.
“Performance” - Pay attention to the "for" part, which can be tricky. Practice saying /pərˈfɔːr.məns/ to enhance clarity.

By practicing these pronunciation tips and integrating the highlighted expressions from the video, you'll significantly improve English pronunciation and enhance your conversational fluency. Using a shadow speaking approach allows you to mimic the natural flow and emotional nuances of native speakers, providing a rich environment for learning and practice.

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:

מבנה	בסרטון
משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר	people who appear · people who are · people who act
הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו	I've gotten · I've never interacted · I've seen

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?

שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.

טכניקת Shadowing: קרא את המדריך המלא שלב אחר שלב →

Shadowing Practice: you're not being kind - you're performing - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Why practice speaking with this video?

Grammar & Expressions in Context

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דקדוק בסרטון הזה

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?