Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: Divorced People Share Advice for Younger Self
Đang tạo bài học...
1
What is one change that you've made that has dramatically improved the quality of your life?
2
You want to say it together?
3
Getting divorced.
4
Divorced.
5
Leaving their broke ass behind.
6
I would have waited before getting married.
7
I think I got married before I should have.
8
I got married because I was compelled to do so, not because I wanted, and I overrode what I knew in my gut at the beginning.
9
My husband asked for a divorce after 46 years of marriage.
10
I thought I was done.
11
I was completely broken.
12
About a year later, I was able to write my ex-husband a letter and say, thank you for giving me my freedom.
13
You're always looking for that piece of the jigsaw puzzle to complete you, when you should be complete to begin with.
14
When the attraction is gone, what's left?
15
What's left?
16
Of more than 1,200 people that we have interviewed on this channel and asked about marriage, some stick out.
17
And that is because of one single event that happens to a lot of people.
18
Divorce.
19
For some in this video, not just one time, but more than three different times.
20
In this video, I'll be asking a series of divorced men
21
and women about their biggest mistake and the lessons they have learned so that you can have a happy, long, and healthy marriage.
22
Are you married?
23
I am indeed, yes.
24
I've been twice married.
25
First marriage was a real catastrophe.
26
It lasted about a year and a half.
27
And this one is very solid, over 20 years.
28
What's the biggest lesson that you learned from your first marriage and the divorce?
29
I think you really need to love yourself and like your own company.
30
Because otherwise, you're always looking for that piece of the jigsaw puzzle to complete you, when you should be complete to begin with.
31
So no rushing into marriage.
32
You know, and a lot of kids do because it's important to be in a couplehood situation.
33
But there's no need to rush.
34
I find today, people are getting together for the wrong reasons.
35
We measure up people in terms of what they own, what they do for a living, how can they provide, how can they, you know, make my life easier.
36
They don't ask the hard questions.
37
Do you want children?
38
Where do you want to live?
39
Where do you aspire to be?
40
You have to talk about that before you commit to see if it's really what you both want, because when you fall in love, you don't think things through very clearly.
41
And there's a lot of, you know, infatuation involved, and there might be a physical attraction, but that's not what keeps people together.
42
When the attraction is gone, what's left what's left what is one change that you've made
43
that has dramatically improved the quality of your life uh you
44
want to say together getting divorced leaving their broke ass behind
45
that's the best thing okay we were thinking the same thing
46
so yeah yeah can you tell me about that it's a decision
47
that i should have made a long time prior to
48
when i made it
49
so it kind of felt like freeing at the point where i did it
50
and never looked back and everything went up from there so You know what it is, is that you get married at a certain age and then you grow.
51
You realize that the person you married isn't necessarily the one that you're going to age with.
52
You're not aging the same way, you're not developing the same way.
53
You have so many life experiences that affect how you mature emotionally, mentally, in your profession.
54
That at some point, you know what, he was great when I was younger and then as I got older I needed something else.
55
He just didn't fit my lifestyle anymore
56
and sometimes women have a hard time except like you know we feel bad for the men's in our lives
57
but you know they can improve themselves they can there's
58
so many things that they can do to like help themselves
59
and they don't when there's two people in the relationship
60
and one of them levels up yeah
61
and the other one doesn't follow it's kind of like doomed right what's the biggest lesson you would say
62
or the biggest takeaway you have from each of those marriages a personal growth i needed to be in
63
that relationship in order to propel myself at a a higher level.
64
I would say listen to your intuition.
65
When I made the decision to leave the marriage, I had a lot of naysayers saying, you'll never find better.
66
Your life will not get better.
67
This is what it is.
68
Accept it.
69
And I refused.
70
And I listened to my gut, my intuition, and I'm in a much better place in every aspect.
71
Just a sec.
72
If you don't want to forget any of the advice
73
that you hear in this video or any of the other interviews on our channel, we put together a free newsletter
74
and we send it out to you every single week
75
that condenses these interviews into five life lessons that will help you live a longer, happier, and healthier life.
76
You can join by scanning the QR code or clicking the link in the description.
77
All right, back to the video.
78
How old were you at the time of the divorce?
79
How old was I, John?
80
70-something.
81
What happened?
82
Oh, he found somebody.
83
At seven, in the 70s?
84
Uh-huh.
85
Wow.
86
When my husband asked for a divorce after 46 years of marriage, I thought I was done.
87
I was completely broken.
88
I was in my car riding back from my office to an empty home except for my dog.
89
And I thought, there's nothing more to live for because we had done so much together.
90
We'd created the American Holistic Medical Association, had six kids and all this stuff.
91
And then he asked for a divorce and I felt like I was just in limbo.
92
How do you move forward?
93
Oh, I was totally broken.
94
I really didn't have any idea what I was going to do, but I knew that there was still work for me to do.
95
When you find what it is that makes you excited and keeps your life force going, it keeps going.
96
So I think the important thing is not to shut everything down.
97
You know, I could have gone back in the car
98
and shut the door and sat in the rest of my life being horribly broken,
99
or I could keep that door open and see what else came up.
100
And I didn't want to be broken about a year later.
101
I was able to write my ex-husband a letter and say thank you for giving me my freedom.
102
Because all of a sudden I was not billing Gladys like I had always been during our marriage.
103
I was Dr. Gladys.
104
So all of a sudden I had a new identity and I could use it.
105
Are you married?
106
No. Or were you?
107
I was married once.
108
I had one successful marriage.
109
We're not married anymore, but we're real good friends.
110
If you don't mind me asking...
111
I mind.
112
No, no, that's what you're gonna like.
113
What was the reason why that relationship ended?
114
Well, I got married because I was compelled to do so, not necessarily because I want it, and I overrode what I knew in my gut at the beginning.
115
I succumbed to family pressures, quite honestly.
116
And by the way, in retrospect, it was a mistake.
117
It was the right thing to do.
118
And there was a good chance it would work, but it didn't.
119
Now we're both happier apart than we were together.
120
Can you define the word love for me?
121
The best definition of love I've ever heard came from a happiness researcher named Ed Diener.
122
It was, I wanted to scrape off my wife's windshield before I wanted to scrape off my own windshield.
123
So I think love is wanting to scrape off your partner's windshield before you scrape off your own.
124
That's the best definition there is.
125
I think.
126
I love that.
127
I totally agree.
128
I love that.
129
How long have you been married for?
130
How long were you married for?
131
I was married for 50 years. And yourself?
132
Okay.
133
There are a few.
134
Oh yeah.
135
I'm kind of like Henry VIII.
136
But I've only had three.
137
Okay.
138
That's right.
139
So I was divorced after 24 years of marriage.
140
That was very tough.
141
And then I had a relationship for about 21 years and
142
that my husband died and had Alzheimer's so then my present husband I hope that's it.
143
I think my last husband also lost his wife.
144
We have been together now for 10 years.
145
Wow.
146
Yeah very lucky.
147
We have this expression that we both have a lot of baggage when we met when we were 72 years old.
148
So you're going to have a lot of baggage.
149
So you give each other a generous baggage allowance.
150
At all ages?
151
Yes, of course, at all ages.
152
It's not easy to share your life with a person.
153
You're never going to have the exact same response to things, recognizing that your point of view may not be the other person's point of view.
154
Yeah.
155
A lot of tolerance.
156
Right.
157
Can you guys define the word love for me?
158
Love to me is a commitment.
159
It isn't just something that happens to you.
160
You know, like pow, love it's something you work at it's something
161
that you know you have to nourish yeah
162
and you grow into a love relationship it's not a 30
163
second like it doesn't happen at first sight yeah maybe lust happens at first sight
164
but uh love is something that uh takes a while to really nourish so you've been married to Ron since when?
165
Oh yeah, since 1992.
166
I met him in 1990.
167
1992, so that's 30...
168
Damn!
169
33 years.
170
33 years.
171
I'm glad you're good at math.
172
That's my best subject.
173
So not only is this like, you know, most obviously, you know, most marriages don't end up succeeding.
174
You had three of them that didn't and one of them that has succeeded way beyond the average length.
175
All them people are dead back then.
176
All those people...
177
The first three?
178
All those people died.
179
I was like...
180
Your three husbands died?
181
Yes, I would've been like...
182
When you were with them?
183
No. Now they're all dead.
184
I was like, man, if I'd been with them, they would've just been...
185
Anyway.
186
Yeah.
187
So with Ron...
188
So three that didn't work, and then statistically speaking, you're at an improbable congratulations, because your relationship is 33 years.
189
And we're not gonna bust up.
190
No. What do you think has contributed to 33 years together?
191
And the way you talk about him, I'm assuming it's a happy marriage.
192
He got me this spot.
193
He lives in an apartment over where his studio is.
194
I love that about us.
195
It doesn't matter if I'm in the bed with him every night or not.
196
We are husband and wife and we're going to ride it out that way.
197
And I love that.
198
I love that.
199
And he, and he, cause he's like, sometimes I just need to be by myself.
200
And I'm like, yeah, you know what?
201
Me too.
202
So it works for us.
203
Can you define the word love for me?
204
Yeah.
205
Wow.
206
Love.
207
Love is knowing that just meeting you, I will give you a hug and not have a issue with that at all.
208
Love is what we were created in and of, period.
209
And loving self first.
210
What is my intention for me?
211
What do I desire for me?
212
And I know that I have to first start with me before I can spread it to everybody else.
213
But yeah, love to me is, love would make all of the weird stuff that's going on on our planet completely and totally disappear.
214
Love would do that.
215
Yeah.
216
Wow.
217
Love is everything.
218
A lesson I have personally taken away from all of these interviews
219
when it comes to relationships is you need to be patient.
220
A lot of people seem to get into marriages and rush into relationships because of social pressures, to say the least.
221
You are watching the video.
222
You're listening to people answer some very important questions.
223
But have you actually answered them yourself?
224
What I decided to do, because honestly, I think if all of us can answer these questions,
225
it will help us to get a lot of clarity that might save us from a lot of big mistakes later on.
226
Using your phone or using a pen and a piece of paper, I created a one-page sheet that has a list of the most important self-reflection questions you see in this video,
227
but also other ones on our channel.
228
And you can download it for free, giving it just for you in this single video, clicking the link in the description or the QR code on screen.
229
And you can fill out these questions and hopefully it saves you from a lot of possible regret down the line.
230
Okay, back to the video.
231
You said you've been married four times, married right now, but three didn't work out.
232
If you're thinking back on those experiences, why did those not work out?
233
In the beginning, I think because I was like, oh, if it's not my way, it's the highway.
234
Also, I think living in New York, you feel like you're living in a candy store.
235
That is the biggest problem with the dating world right now.
236
It is.
237
It is.
238
But I got to tell you, all these things you think matter, they don't.
239
I can tell you this for sure.
240
The things that people, especially men, think are so important, they are not.
241
Stop looking for this beautiful woman who you think is like the end-all be-all
242
and get to know the person as a person.
243
See what you have in common.
244
The Bible talks about being equally yoked.
245
Super important.
246
Who's going to be your friend for a long time?
247
That's what's important.
248
It's not about the physical, like many people think.
249
Like I used to think back in the day, it's not about that at all.
250
It's really about having a real connection.
251
Even when you don't believe the same thing, still having a great connection.
252
Being able to talk about anything and everything.
253
Those things are important.
254
And you've been with your wife right now eight years?
255
Eight years, but they did two years before that.
256
It's the longest relationship in my life.
257
Yeah, so this is, okay, so the longest relationship in your life.
258
Can you define the word love for me?
259
Oh, yes.
260
Wow.
261
loving the person whether they love you back
262
or not it's very easy to love somebody when they're loving you
263
and everything's perfect and wonderful but when love is tested
264
if they hurt your feelings
265
or go against what you think is your core will you stop loving
266
that person and if you do is that really love Love is forgiving somebody over and over and over again.
267
Love is letting the person do the things that they enjoy even though you may not.
268
Love is...love is evolving all the time.
269
And love is never giving up.
270
I think you are better than Morgan Freeman.
271
I think you would be a fantastic narrator.
272
I don't know about all that.
273
I just know, you know, the one thing of being through so many relationships in my life and chasing the wrong thing.
274
I finally figured out that you have to let go of everything that you think that you want.
275
And for me, it was asking, asking God to bring the person in my life that I need to be with and have faith.
276
Faith's a funny thing because it's the one thing that people have a hard time with.
277
You know, if you can't see something physically, you don't believe it.
278
But faith is that, believing what you can't see and truly trusting.
279
Were kids ever on the table for you?
280
Is that a regret?
281
Yeah, it is.
282
I think when I was much younger, for sure, I was like, oh, yeah, one day, one day, one day.
283
And I always put it off.
284
And then when I met my wife now, we were both older and it was off the table.
285
I feel like all these things happen for a reason.
286
So I don't question them.
287
How do you recommend someone in this day and age find true love?
288
We idealize the other person, especially when we're first dating and it's so exciting.
289
But you need to spend time with that person to really get to understand also their peccadilloes, their idiosyncrasies, their shortcomings.
290
And then you have to ask yourself, can I live with all that?
291
sometimes some people say yes i can i can overlook that
292
because i really love that person he has other qualities
293
or she has other qualities
294
and then other people will say no it's the perfect excuse
295
to call it quits you need to take your time get to know
296
that person it is so important to know
297
that you could be with someone for a long time
298
and grow together i helped my husband now raise his children from his first marriage then we had our own
299
and we started changing diapers in our mid-40s i mean
300
that was quite a change of pace for us
301
but that's what we wanted and we worked together as a team to achieve it.
302
What would you say is your best advice for someone trying to find real love today?
303
Be authentic, like true to yourself.
304
Because if you put on a mask, at one point, you know, they're going to see through it or like something is going to bound to happen
305
that it's not going to be your true self.
306
So just be yourself and you're going to find the right person eventually.
307
I'd have to say the best advice I could give is if he's interested in you, he'll call you.
308
If he's not calling, he's not interested.
309
Would you agree with that as a man?
310
Yeah, I would say it goes both ways probably too, right?
311
For women, sometimes we always see a project and we're like, we're going to fix them.
312
We're going to help them.
313
And you guys got to help themselves.
314
If he wanted to, he would.
315
Yeah, exactly.
316
It goes back to if he wanted to, he would.
317
Right.
318
Yeah.
319
Cool.
320
Thank you guys.
📺 Cùng kênh
B11
Asking 80 Year Old Canadians About Their Biggest Regrets in Life
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2Asking 20 and 30 Year Olds About Their Biggest Regrets in Life
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
80 Year Olds Share Advice for Younger Self
Business EnglishDaily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Asking New Yorkers About Their BIGGEST Regrets in Life
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
This 57 Year Old Chinese Billionaire's Advice Will Blow Your Mind...
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B11
Asking 70 Year Olds About Their Biggest Regrets in Life
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
A 58 Year Old Self-Made Millionaire Shares Her Best Life Advice
Business EnglishInterview EnglishWorking Adults
B27
Talk To Strangers. It Will Change Your Life.
Travel EnglishDaily Conversation
B2I Asked 100 Married Couples for Dating Advice and Learned...
Daily Conversation
B23
I Asked 1000 People About Their Biggest Regrets in Life and Learned...
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2A 51 Year Old Self-Made Millionaire Shares Her Best Life Advice
Business EnglishWorking Adults
✨ Video gợi ý
B21
216 câu
Life Lessons Old People WISH Young People Knew
Business EnglishTeensDaily Conversation
B21
172 câu
The Secret To A Happy Marriage Is... | That Was Us
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
133 câu
The five hard conversations: preventing divorce
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B29
108 câu
I married my best friend!
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
88 câu
This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He's NOT SERIOUS
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2149 câu
How to Make Yourself Attractive to Anything You Want
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2240 câu
Is He My Boyfriend or Just a Friend With Benefits?
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B248
19 câu
Learn English with Marriage Story 🎬 | Emotional Scene Shadowing Practice
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
135 câu
How Much Do You Love Yourself? Jay Shetty & Quinlan Walther on Self-Reflection & Real Change
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B235 câu
Would You Want Your Kids To Have Your Marriage? | Mel Robbins #shorts
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
![[Vlog] Ep.55 - ADVICE TO MY YOUNGER SELF | The Quoc Khanh Show](https://img.youtube.com/vi/qZ1T_MQlyvw/mqdefault.jpg)
B25
110 câu
[Vlog] Ep.55 - ADVICE TO MY YOUNGER SELF | The Quoc Khanh Show
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Từ vựng và ghi chú luyện nói cho bài học này
Bài luyện nói trình độ B2 này dựa trên video “Divorced People Share Advice for Younger Self”. Video này có 320 câu và 3139 từ để luyện shadowing. Phần lời nói dài 17:21. Người nói nói nhanh, khoảng 181 từ mỗi phút, nên sẽ có nhiều chỗ nối âm và nuốt âm. 87% số từ nằm trong 3.000 từ tiếng Anh thông dụng nhất, nên từ vựng dễ theo.
Từ vựng quan trọng trong video
14 từ khó nhất trong video, kèm phiên âm và nghĩa:
| Từ | Phiên âm | Nghĩa |
|---|---|---|
| scrape động từ | /skɹeɪp/ | nạo, cạo |
| windshield danh từ | /wɪnˈʃiːld/ | kính chắn gió |
| intuition danh từ | /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/ | trực giác |
| puzzle danh từ | /ˈpʌzəl/ | sự bối rối, sự khó xử |
| idiosyncrasy danh từ | /ˌɪdiəˈsɪŋkɹəsi/ | cá tính, cá biệt |
| overlook động từ | /ˈoʊ.vɚˌlʊk/ | bỏ qua |
| catastrophe danh từ | /kəˈtæstɹəfi/ | tai ương, tai họa lớn |
| newsletter danh từ | /ˈn(j)uzˌlɛtɚ/ | bản tin |
| narrator danh từ | /ˈnæˌɹeɪ.təɹ/ | người dẫn chuyện |
| researcher danh từ | /ˈɹiˌsɝ.t͡ʃɚ/ | nhà nghiên cứu |
| authentic tính từ | /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/ | chân chính |
| disappear động từ | /dɪsəˈpɪɹ/ | biến mất |
| mathematics danh từ | /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/ | toán học |
| generous tính từ | /ˈd͡ʒɛn(ə)ɹəs/ | rộng lượng, hào phóng |
Cụm động từ bạn sẽ nghe
| Từ | Phiên âm | Nghĩa |
|---|---|---|
| fill out động từ | /fɪl ˈaʊt/ | điền vào, ghi vào |
| give up động từ | đầu hàng |
Những câu đáng luyện lại
Các câu ngắn, trọn ý trong video mà bạn có thể dùng lại khi giao tiếp hằng ngày:
- You want to say it together?
- Where do you want to live?
- Where do you aspire to be?
- How do you move forward?
- Can you define the word love for me?
Ngữ pháp trong video
Những cấu trúc người nói dùng nhiều nhất, kèm đúng cụm từ trong video:
| Cấu trúc | Trong video |
|---|---|
| Câu điều kiện if + mệnh đề, will/would + động từ — điều kiện và kết quả | if I'd been with them, they would · if he's interested in you, he'll call · If he wanted to, he would |
| Thì hiện tại hoàn thành have/has + quá khứ phân từ — việc đã xảy ra nhưng còn liên quan đến hiện tại | you've made · have interviewed · have learned |
| Câu bị động be + quá khứ phân từ — nhấn vào việc xảy ra, không phải người làm | was compelled · was done · be broken |
Phát âm cần chú ý
Người nói dùng 75 dạng rút gọn, ví dụ you're, don't, we're. Hãy nói theo dạng ngắn đúng như bạn nghe.
- Âm “th”: authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/
- Âm “sh” và “zh”: windshield /wɪnˈʃiːld/, attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, nourish /ˈnʌɹ.ɪʃ/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, shortcoming /ˈʃɔːtˌkʌmɪŋ/
- Từ dài — đặt trọng âm cho đúng: intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, idiosyncrasy /ˌɪdiəˈsɪŋkɹəsi/, peccadillo /ˌpɛ.kəˈdɪ.loʊ/, catastrophe /kəˈtæstɹəfi/, statistically /stəˈtɪs.tɪ.kə.li/
Cách luyện với video này
- Nghe hết video một lần, chưa cần nói, và ghi lại những từ bạn chưa biết.
- Bắt đầu ở tốc độ 0,75×, nói đuổi từng câu, rồi quay lại tốc độ bình thường khi đã quen.
- Ghi âm giọng mình rồi so với bản gốc, chú ý các từ như scrape, windshield, intuition.
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.