跟读练习: 6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict - 通过视频学习英语口语

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I absolutely love this scene because it is basically a masterclass in how to deal with conflict.

Colin Farrell's character, the coach, has almost no leverage.

He's dealing with genuinely dangerous people and he still manages to apologize and take responsibility without becoming defensive, weak, or desperate for forgiveness.

In under 60 seconds, the coach demonstrates five of these six charismatic mindsets that we teach on this channel.

If you understand what he does here, you'll be able to walk into a tense situation,

take responsibility, and still come out with more respect than you walked in with.

So the situation is this.

The coach is a boxing trainer whose students have just made an enormous mistake.

Without him knowing it, they robbed a farm belonging to a criminal organization.

And now the coach has walked directly into that organization to apologize for what his boys did.

Feel free to talk.

One of the hardest parts of making an apology is this first point of contact.

It's awkward.

You're anticipating the conflict that's about to come.

And Raymond here isn't making it easy on the coach.

He's not making eye contact.

He's not inviting at all.

Overall, just an extremely intimidating situation.

And the mistake a lot of people make

when they meet this kind of energy is they either lose the nerve to apologize and start dancing around the topic,

or they start to make excuses for why they messed up.

And I call this basically, how do I be safe thinking?

But this is where the first mindset comes in.

No matter what, I will be okay.

This may sound like positive thinking, but it's more like flipping a switch in your brain

it changes the situation from a threat to a challenge as a result

you're able to approach the conflict instead of withdrawing and having

that mindset is what allows the coach to get right to the point

and say this i gather you're the conciliarity of the outfit

that my boys were stupid enough to around with on

that note i'd like to extend my apologies on their behalf

what the coach says next gets dangerously close to something that ruins a lot of apologies.

My boys, they're naive.

They've had hard lives and they're just starting to come good.

When people screw up, their first instinct is usually to make excuses in order to protect their image.

And at first, it seems like this is what the coach is doing here.

But there is a massive difference between an excuse and an explanation.

An excuse gives a reason for what happened and then uses that reason to dodge responsibility.

The coach is doing the opposite of that.

They've had hard lives and they're just starting to come good, but they're my lads.

my responsibility.

This is the perfect example of the second mindset, which is I care more about my character than my reputation.

A lot of people in this situation wouldn't have wanted to take the blame

because it would make them look bad and they might be in trouble.

But ironically, this has the opposite effect.

If the coach had tried to blame his students or deflect, he'd have come across as weak and defensive.

Taking action based on your character, what you value and what you think is right, is almost always inconvenient.

That's why it's so valuable.

And Ray can see that he's chosen not to take the easy way out.

And it's not just about earning Ray's respect.

When we violate our own ethics and then try to get away with it, we reduce our own self -respect.

And that's why character matters so much.

But the most important part of the apology is what the coach says next.

Now I can return your goods, but I can't return the inconvenience, the time, the f*ing headache this is where apologies often go wrong in

relationships imagine your partner isn't doing their share around the house

and they're not doing the dishes it would be nice

if you said thank you

and helped me with the dishes the problem isn't just the extra work

that you had to do it's

that you spent a bunch of time wondering about why they weren't getting it done and it made you feel

disrespected and so

when they are apologizing for not doing the dishes

it doesn't fully capture the scope of the problem that's why what the coach says here is so important.

Now I can return your goods, but I can't return the inconvenience, the time, the f*ing headache.

By acknowledging the full depth of the wrong that was done to Ray and his organization, he's making Ray feel understood,

like they have a shared reality and therefore he can trust him.

The reason most people don't do this though is because our instinct

when we apologize is to shrink the problem down so it makes it seem like what we did wasn't so bad.

I made no disrespect.

But it's the opposite mindset that makes an apology feel complete, which is I have impeccable honesty and integrity.

Having the courage to acknowledge what went wrong to its full

extent is actually what makes an apology land rather than feeling like a dodge.

Now, the coach is already in an intimidating situation.

I've got some good news.

What?

I found out he's weed we took.

That is not good news, Ernie.

Mickey Pearson has terrible news in the face of a violent and expensive bet.

So the last thing you'd want to do in a situation like this is to expose your vulnerabilities,

but that is exactly what the coach does next.

I'll make amends, but just leave me lads alone.

What makes the coach such a charismatic person is that he has equal parts competence and warmth, which is what we see here.

You can tell by the emotional tone of his voice he genuinely cares about his students

and he's communicating

that he's concerned about their well -being

now up to this point ray could interpret everything the coach

is doing as a strategy just a guy trying to protect himself settle a debt

and get out of a bad situation alive when the coach says

but just leave me lads alone he's demonstrating the fourth mindset

which is i go first in humanizing the interaction

when you are willing to show what you genuinely care about your motives become easier to understand

and as a result you make yourself more trustworthy but the hardest part of this apology is how

Ray reacts to it.

First of all, I'm going to need to know how your lads got the information about where our farm was cited, because that's not common knowledge.

The coach has just humbled himself before

Ray, and he gets nothing back from him.

I think most people would feel pretty devastated by this reaction, especially since a major reason that people do apologize is to get forgiveness,

to be absolved of the guilt that they're feeling.

But the coach does two things here that I think are really impressive.

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The natural thing to do here would be to double down on trying to convince

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Ray that he's truly sorry.

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But instead, the coach does nothing.

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Children usually apologize because they're trying to get something.

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They want the forgiveness.

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They want their privileges back.

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They want the other person to stop being mad at them.

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And of course, the coach hopes that

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Ray will accept this apology, but he doesn't beg him to receive it in any particular way.

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Joe Hudson calls this an upright apology.

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You're neither begging for forgiveness nor trying to escape blame.

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You're just standing in it because you behaved in a way that you want to change.

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When we're interacting with someone, there's a lot of times where we're thinking, I need to get this person to like me.

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I need to make this sale.

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Or in the coach's case, I need this person to forgive me.

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But regardless of the relationship, you do not want to drop into this convincing mode.

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This is especially important during an apology because then instead of offering up something to them, you're putting pressure on them.

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And that's actually the fifth charismatic mindset, which is I don't need to convince anyone of anything.

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But part of why the coach is able to take this in stride is because he has an ace up his sleeve.

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I'm going to need to know how your lads got the information about where our farm was sited, because that's not common knowledge.

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Well, I can do better than that.

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One of the strongest positions you can apologize from is when you've already started to make reparations.

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The coach's case, he actually tracked down the man that leaked the location of the farm, but let's just take the dishes problem.

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Instead of apologizing and then changing your behavior, just start washing the dishes.

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Then when you do go to apologize, you've already started fixing that problem.

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Actions obviously speak louder than words.

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What I love about the coach's character is that he displays all of the same qualities when the power dynamics are flipped, like in this scene.

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You could see all five of the charisma mindsets we discussed earlier in the scene, but he's also demonstrating the sixth mindset.

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You're embarrassing yourself here, lads.

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Kids, stab.

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Girls, shoot.

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Boys, punch.

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Grownups, fight with their heads.

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That's where the real battle is.

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Up here, in the grave.

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Now wake up, lads.

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Come on down to the gym.

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We'll see what we can do with you.

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When you openly share what you genuinely care about, what you're trying to do, you give people a chance to connect with you,

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even in a moment of conflict like this one.

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And that is the final charisma mindset, which is I proactively share my purpose.

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These mindsets form the deepest layer of confidence in conflict and everywhere else.

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It's not about always having the perfect response,

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never looking weak, or even getting the other person to respond to you the way that you wish they would.

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It's being okay, even if someone is angry with you, even if you have to admit you were wrong,

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and even if the conversation doesn't end the way you hoped.

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Because when you believe that you'll be okay, no matter how they respond, you stop scrambling to defend yourself.

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Stop trying to explain everything away or convince the other person to see you differently.

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Instead, you can stay calm.

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You can tell the truth and take responsibility.

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When you have the internal confidence and the ability to communicate confidently, conflict becomes a lot easier to handle.

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Now, if you're interested in the fastest way

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that I know to build both that internal confidence and the ability to actually show it when you're feeling pressure,

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that's exactly what we work on inside of Charisma University.

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Over 30 days, you'll get a clear action to take every day

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so that you can practice these skills until they start becoming your default response instead of something

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that you have to consciously remember in the middle of a stressful conversation.

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The program works on both the internal side of confidence and the external skills of how you communicate,

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which takes a lot of the guesswork out of it.

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Just follow the exercises and practice them in your real life.

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So if you want to feel calmer, more confident, more grounded in difficult conversations, you can learn more about Charisma University with the link below.

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Either way, I hope you enjoy this video.

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I'll see you in the next one.

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本课的词汇与口语要点

这节口语课以视频“6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict”为素材。视频中反复出现的词有：coach, mindset, apology, apologize, ray。这段视频共有 162 个句子、1957 个单词可供跟读。讲话部分时长为 9:26。说话人语速较快，每分钟约 207 个词，会出现较多连读和弱读。 85% 的单词属于英语最常用的 3,000 词，其余的词建议在练习前先学一下。

视频中的重点词汇

视频中 15 个值得学习的单词，附发音和释义：

单词	发音	释义
apology 名词	/əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/	道歉, 致歉
mindset 名词	/ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/	心態 /心态, 思維模式 /思维模式
apologize 动词	/əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/	道歉
dish 名词	/dɪʃ/	碟子, 盤子 /盘子
convince 动词	/kənˈvɪns/	說服 /说服
forgiveness 名词	/fɚˈɡɪvnəs/	饒恕 /饶恕, 寬恕 /宽恕
demonstrate 动词	/ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/	论证
skill 名词	/skɪl/	技巧, 技能
acknowledge 动词	/əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/	承認 /承认
headache 名词	/ˈhɛdeɪk/	頭疼 /头疼, 頭痛 /头痛
dodge 动词	/dɑd͡ʒ/	躲避, 躲開 /躲开
instinct 名词	/ˈɪn.stɪŋkt/	本能, 天性
inconvenience 名词	/ɪnkənˈvinjəns/	不便, 不方便
disrespect 名词	/dɪsɹɪˈspɛkt/	不敬, 謾 /谩
tone 名词	/ˈtəʊn/	全音

视频中出现的短语动词

单词	发音	释义
find out 动词		找出, 查明
track down 动词		找到, 查獲 /查获
wake up 动词	/ˌweɪk ˈʌp/	醒, 醒來 /醒来

值得反复跟读的句子

视频中简短而完整的句子，可以直接用在日常对话里：

You're anticipating the conflict that's about to come.
I've got some good news.
I found out he's weed we took.
I'll make amends, but just leave me lads alone.
You're embarrassing yourself here, lads.

视频中的语法

说话人最常用的结构，并附上视频中的原话：

结构	视频中的用法
现在完成时 have/has + 过去分词 — 过去发生但与现在仍有关联的事	have just made · has walked · They've had
定语从句 who / which + 从句 — 补充说明人或事物	mindset, which is · complete, which is · warmth, which is
被动语态 be + 过去分词 — 强调发生了什么，而不是谁做的	was cited · be absolved · was sited

需要注意的发音

说话人用了 48 次缩略和弱读形式，例如 you're, they're, doesn't。请按听到的简短形式来说。

“th” 音: sixth /sɪksθ/, gather /ˈɡæðɚ/, ethics /ˈɛθ.ɪks/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/
“sh” 和 “zh” 音: dish /dɪʃ/, reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, wash /wɑʃ/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, capture /ˈkæp.(t)ʃɚ/
长单词——注意重音位置: apology /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, inconvenience /ɪnkənˈvinjəns/

中文母语者容易读错的音：

/v/ — 不要读成 /w/，上齿轻触下唇: convince /kənˈvɪns/, forgiveness /fɚˈɡɪvnəs/, defensive /dɪˈfɛn.sɪv/, inconvenience /ɪnkənˈvinjəns/, impressive /ɪmˈpɹɛsɪv/
词尾辅音 — 要读清楚，后面不要加元音: mindset /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, lads /lædz/, dish /dɪʃ/, convince /kənˈvɪns/
/r/ 和 /l/ 的区别: regardless /ɹɪˈɡɑɹd.lɪs/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, privilege /ˈpɹɪv.(ɪ.)lɪd͡ʒ/, leverage /ˈlɛv.(ə.)ɹɪd͡ʒ/, stressful /ˈstɹɛsfəl/

如何用这段视频练习

先完整听一遍视频，不要开口，记下不认识的单词。
先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟读，熟练之后再回到正常速度。
录下自己的声音并与原声对比，特别注意 apology, mindset, apologize 这类单词。

什么是跟读法？

跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟读法: 阅读完整分步指南 →

跟读练习: 6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict - 通过视频学习英语口语

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