跟讀練習: 6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict - 通過影片學習英語口語

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I absolutely love this scene because it is basically a masterclass in how to deal with conflict.

Colin Farrell's character, the coach, has almost no leverage.

He's dealing with genuinely dangerous people and he still manages to apologize and take responsibility without becoming defensive, weak, or desperate for forgiveness.

In under 60 seconds, the coach demonstrates five of these six charismatic mindsets that we teach on this channel.

If you understand what he does here, you'll be able to walk into a tense situation,

take responsibility, and still come out with more respect than you walked in with.

So the situation is this.

The coach is a boxing trainer whose students have just made an enormous mistake.

Without him knowing it, they robbed a farm belonging to a criminal organization.

And now the coach has walked directly into that organization to apologize for what his boys did.

Feel free to talk.

One of the hardest parts of making an apology is this first point of contact.

It's awkward.

You're anticipating the conflict that's about to come.

And Raymond here isn't making it easy on the coach.

He's not making eye contact.

He's not inviting at all.

Overall, just an extremely intimidating situation.

And the mistake a lot of people make

when they meet this kind of energy is they either lose the nerve to apologize and start dancing around the topic,

or they start to make excuses for why they messed up.

And I call this basically, how do I be safe thinking?

But this is where the first mindset comes in.

No matter what, I will be okay.

This may sound like positive thinking, but it's more like flipping a switch in your brain

it changes the situation from a threat to a challenge as a result

you're able to approach the conflict instead of withdrawing and having

that mindset is what allows the coach to get right to the point

and say this i gather you're the conciliarity of the outfit

that my boys were stupid enough to around with on

that note i'd like to extend my apologies on their behalf

what the coach says next gets dangerously close to something that ruins a lot of apologies.

My boys, they're naive.

They've had hard lives and they're just starting to come good.

When people screw up, their first instinct is usually to make excuses in order to protect their image.

And at first, it seems like this is what the coach is doing here.

But there is a massive difference between an excuse and an explanation.

An excuse gives a reason for what happened and then uses that reason to dodge responsibility.

The coach is doing the opposite of that.

They've had hard lives and they're just starting to come good, but they're my lads.

my responsibility.

This is the perfect example of the second mindset, which is I care more about my character than my reputation.

A lot of people in this situation wouldn't have wanted to take the blame

because it would make them look bad and they might be in trouble.

But ironically, this has the opposite effect.

If the coach had tried to blame his students or deflect, he'd have come across as weak and defensive.

Taking action based on your character, what you value and what you think is right, is almost always inconvenient.

That's why it's so valuable.

And Ray can see that he's chosen not to take the easy way out.

And it's not just about earning Ray's respect.

When we violate our own ethics and then try to get away with it, we reduce our own self -respect.

And that's why character matters so much.

But the most important part of the apology is what the coach says next.

Now I can return your goods, but I can't return the inconvenience, the time, the f*ing headache this is where apologies often go wrong in

relationships imagine your partner isn't doing their share around the house

and they're not doing the dishes it would be nice

if you said thank you

and helped me with the dishes the problem isn't just the extra work

that you had to do it's

that you spent a bunch of time wondering about why they weren't getting it done and it made you feel

disrespected and so

when they are apologizing for not doing the dishes

it doesn't fully capture the scope of the problem that's why what the coach says here is so important.

Now I can return your goods, but I can't return the inconvenience, the time, the f*ing headache.

By acknowledging the full depth of the wrong that was done to Ray and his organization, he's making Ray feel understood,

like they have a shared reality and therefore he can trust him.

The reason most people don't do this though is because our instinct

when we apologize is to shrink the problem down so it makes it seem like what we did wasn't so bad.

I made no disrespect.

But it's the opposite mindset that makes an apology feel complete, which is I have impeccable honesty and integrity.

Having the courage to acknowledge what went wrong to its full

extent is actually what makes an apology land rather than feeling like a dodge.

Now, the coach is already in an intimidating situation.

I've got some good news.

What?

I found out he's weed we took.

That is not good news, Ernie.

Mickey Pearson has terrible news in the face of a violent and expensive bet.

So the last thing you'd want to do in a situation like this is to expose your vulnerabilities,

but that is exactly what the coach does next.

I'll make amends, but just leave me lads alone.

What makes the coach such a charismatic person is that he has equal parts competence and warmth, which is what we see here.

You can tell by the emotional tone of his voice he genuinely cares about his students

and he's communicating

that he's concerned about their well -being

now up to this point ray could interpret everything the coach

is doing as a strategy just a guy trying to protect himself settle a debt

and get out of a bad situation alive when the coach says

but just leave me lads alone he's demonstrating the fourth mindset

which is i go first in humanizing the interaction

when you are willing to show what you genuinely care about your motives become easier to understand

and as a result you make yourself more trustworthy but the hardest part of this apology is how

Ray reacts to it.

First of all, I'm going to need to know how your lads got the information about where our farm was cited, because that's not common knowledge.

The coach has just humbled himself before

Ray, and he gets nothing back from him.

I think most people would feel pretty devastated by this reaction, especially since a major reason that people do apologize is to get forgiveness,

to be absolved of the guilt that they're feeling.

But the coach does two things here that I think are really impressive.

100

The natural thing to do here would be to double down on trying to convince

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Ray that he's truly sorry.

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But instead, the coach does nothing.

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Children usually apologize because they're trying to get something.

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They want the forgiveness.

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They want their privileges back.

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They want the other person to stop being mad at them.

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And of course, the coach hopes that

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Ray will accept this apology, but he doesn't beg him to receive it in any particular way.

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Joe Hudson calls this an upright apology.

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You're neither begging for forgiveness nor trying to escape blame.

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You're just standing in it because you behaved in a way that you want to change.

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When we're interacting with someone, there's a lot of times where we're thinking, I need to get this person to like me.

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I need to make this sale.

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Or in the coach's case, I need this person to forgive me.

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But regardless of the relationship, you do not want to drop into this convincing mode.

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This is especially important during an apology because then instead of offering up something to them, you're putting pressure on them.

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And that's actually the fifth charismatic mindset, which is I don't need to convince anyone of anything.

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But part of why the coach is able to take this in stride is because he has an ace up his sleeve.

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I'm going to need to know how your lads got the information about where our farm was sited, because that's not common knowledge.

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Well, I can do better than that.

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One of the strongest positions you can apologize from is when you've already started to make reparations.

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The coach's case, he actually tracked down the man that leaked the location of the farm, but let's just take the dishes problem.

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Instead of apologizing and then changing your behavior, just start washing the dishes.

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Then when you do go to apologize, you've already started fixing that problem.

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Actions obviously speak louder than words.

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What I love about the coach's character is that he displays all of the same qualities when the power dynamics are flipped, like in this scene.

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You could see all five of the charisma mindsets we discussed earlier in the scene, but he's also demonstrating the sixth mindset.

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You're embarrassing yourself here, lads.

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Kids, stab.

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Girls, shoot.

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Boys, punch.

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Grownups, fight with their heads.

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That's where the real battle is.

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Up here, in the grave.

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Now wake up, lads.

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Come on down to the gym.

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We'll see what we can do with you.

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When you openly share what you genuinely care about, what you're trying to do, you give people a chance to connect with you,

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even in a moment of conflict like this one.

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And that is the final charisma mindset, which is I proactively share my purpose.

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These mindsets form the deepest layer of confidence in conflict and everywhere else.

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It's not about always having the perfect response,

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never looking weak, or even getting the other person to respond to you the way that you wish they would.

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It's being okay, even if someone is angry with you, even if you have to admit you were wrong,

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and even if the conversation doesn't end the way you hoped.

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Because when you believe that you'll be okay, no matter how they respond, you stop scrambling to defend yourself.

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Stop trying to explain everything away or convince the other person to see you differently.

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Instead, you can stay calm.

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You can tell the truth and take responsibility.

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When you have the internal confidence and the ability to communicate confidently, conflict becomes a lot easier to handle.

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Now, if you're interested in the fastest way

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that I know to build both that internal confidence and the ability to actually show it when you're feeling pressure,

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that's exactly what we work on inside of Charisma University.

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Over 30 days, you'll get a clear action to take every day

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so that you can practice these skills until they start becoming your default response instead of something

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that you have to consciously remember in the middle of a stressful conversation.

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The program works on both the internal side of confidence and the external skills of how you communicate,

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which takes a lot of the guesswork out of it.

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Just follow the exercises and practice them in your real life.

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So if you want to feel calmer, more confident, more grounded in difficult conversations, you can learn more about Charisma University with the link below.

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Either way, I hope you enjoy this video.

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I'll see you in the next one.

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本課的詞彙與口語要點

這節口語課以影片“6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict”為素材。影片中反覆出現的詞有：coach, mindset, apology, apologize, ray。這段影片共有 162 個句子、1957 個單詞可供跟讀。講話部分時長為 9:26。說話人語速較快，每分鐘約 207 個詞，會出現較多連讀和弱讀。 85% 的單詞屬於英語最常用的 3,000 詞，其餘的詞建議在練習前先學一下。

影片中的重點詞彙

影片中 15 個值得學習的單詞，附發音和釋義：

單詞	發音	釋義
apology 名詞	/əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/	道歉, 致歉
mindset 名詞	/ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/	心態 /心態, 思維模式 /思維模式
apologize 動詞	/əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/	道歉
dish 名詞	/dɪʃ/	碟子, 盤子 /盤子
convince 動詞	/kənˈvɪns/	說服 /說服
forgiveness 名詞	/fɚˈɡɪvnəs/	饒恕 /饒恕, 寬恕 /寬恕
demonstrate 動詞	/ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/	論證
skill 名詞	/skɪl/	技巧, 技能
acknowledge 動詞	/əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/	承認 /承認
headache 名詞	/ˈhɛdeɪk/	頭疼 /頭疼, 頭痛 /頭痛
dodge 動詞	/dɑd͡ʒ/	躲避, 躲開 /躲開
instinct 名詞	/ˈɪn.stɪŋkt/	本能, 天性
inconvenience 名詞	/ɪnkənˈvinjəns/	不便, 不方便
disrespect 名詞	/dɪsɹɪˈspɛkt/	不敬, 謾 /謾
tone 名詞	/ˈtəʊn/	全音

影片中出現的短語動詞

單詞	發音	釋義
find out 動詞		找出, 查明
track down 動詞		找到, 查獲 /查獲
wake up 動詞	/ˌweɪk ˈʌp/	醒, 醒來 /醒來

值得反覆跟讀的句子

影片中簡短而完整的句子，可以直接用在日常對話裡：

You're anticipating the conflict that's about to come.
I've got some good news.
I found out he's weed we took.
I'll make amends, but just leave me lads alone.
You're embarrassing yourself here, lads.

影片中的語法

說話人最常用的結構，並附上影片中的原話：

結構	影片中的用法
現在完成時 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去發生但與現在仍有關聯的事	have just made · has walked · They've had
定語從句 who / which + 從句 — 補充說明人或事物	mindset, which is · complete, which is · warmth, which is
被動語態 be + 過去分詞 — 強調發生了什麼，而不是誰做的	was cited · be absolved · was sited

需要注意的發音

說話人用了 48 次縮略和弱讀形式，例如 you're, they're, doesn't。請按聽到的簡短形式來說。

“th” 音: sixth /sɪksθ/, gather /ˈɡæðɚ/, ethics /ˈɛθ.ɪks/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/
“sh” 和 “zh” 音: dish /dɪʃ/, reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, wash /wɑʃ/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, capture /ˈkæp.(t)ʃɚ/
長單詞——注意重音位置: apology /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, inconvenience /ɪnkənˈvinjəns/

中文母語者容易讀錯的音：

/v/ — 不要讀成 /w/，上齒輕觸下唇: convince /kənˈvɪns/, forgiveness /fɚˈɡɪvnəs/, defensive /dɪˈfɛn.sɪv/, inconvenience /ɪnkənˈvinjəns/, impressive /ɪmˈpɹɛsɪv/
詞尾子音 — 要讀清楚，後面不要加母音: mindset /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, lads /lædz/, dish /dɪʃ/, convince /kənˈvɪns/
/r/ 和 /l/ 的區別: regardless /ɹɪˈɡɑɹd.lɪs/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, privilege /ˈpɹɪv.(ɪ.)lɪd͡ʒ/, leverage /ˈlɛv.(ə.)ɹɪd͡ʒ/, stressful /ˈstɹɛsfəl/

如何用這段影片練習

先完整聽一遍影片，不要開口，記下不認識的單詞。
先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟讀，熟練之後再回到正常速度。
錄下自己的聲音並與原聲對比，特別注意 apology, mindset, apologize 這類單詞。

什麼是跟讀法？

跟讀法 (Shadowing) 是一種有科學依據的語言學習技巧，最初開發用於專業口譯員的培訓，並由多語言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。這個方法簡單而強大：您在聽英語母語原聲的同時立即大聲重複——就像是一個延遲1-2秒緊跟說話者的影子。與被動聽力或語法練習不同，跟讀法強迫您的大腦和口腔肌肉同時處理並模模擬實的講話模式。研究表明它能顯著提高發音準確性，語調，節奏，連讀，聽力理解和口語流利度——使其成為雅思口語備考和真實英語交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟讀法: 閱讀完整分步指南 →

跟讀練習: 6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict - 通過影片學習英語口語

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