Prática de Shadowing: 6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
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I absolutely love this scene because it is basically a masterclass in how to deal with conflict.
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Colin Farrell's character, the coach, has almost no leverage.
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He's dealing with genuinely dangerous people and he still manages to apologize and take responsibility without becoming defensive, weak, or desperate for forgiveness.
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In under 60 seconds, the coach demonstrates five of these six charismatic mindsets that we teach on this channel.
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If you understand what he does here, you'll be able to walk into a tense situation,
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take responsibility, and still come out with more respect than you walked in with.
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So the situation is this.
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The coach is a boxing trainer whose students have just made an enormous mistake.
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Without him knowing it, they robbed a farm belonging to a criminal organization.
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And now the coach has walked directly into that organization to apologize for what his boys did.
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Feel free to talk.
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One of the hardest parts of making an apology is this first point of contact.
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It's awkward.
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You're anticipating the conflict that's about to come.
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And Raymond here isn't making it easy on the coach.
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He's not making eye contact.
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He's not inviting at all.
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Overall, just an extremely intimidating situation.
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And the mistake a lot of people make
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when they meet this kind of energy is they either lose the nerve to apologize and start dancing around the topic,
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or they start to make excuses for why they messed up.
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And I call this basically, how do I be safe thinking?
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But this is where the first mindset comes in.
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No matter what, I will be okay.
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This may sound like positive thinking, but it's more like flipping a switch in your brain
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it changes the situation from a threat to a challenge as a result
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you're able to approach the conflict instead of withdrawing and having
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that mindset is what allows the coach to get right to the point
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and say this i gather you're the conciliarity of the outfit
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that my boys were stupid enough to around with on
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that note i'd like to extend my apologies on their behalf
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what the coach says next gets dangerously close to something that ruins a lot of apologies.
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My boys, they're naive.
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They've had hard lives and they're just starting to come good.
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When people screw up, their first instinct is usually to make excuses in order to protect their image.
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And at first, it seems like this is what the coach is doing here.
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But there is a massive difference between an excuse and an explanation.
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An excuse gives a reason for what happened and then uses that reason to dodge responsibility.
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The coach is doing the opposite of that.
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They've had hard lives and they're just starting to come good, but they're my lads.
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my responsibility.
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This is the perfect example of the second mindset, which is I care more about my character than my reputation.
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A lot of people in this situation wouldn't have wanted to take the blame
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because it would make them look bad and they might be in trouble.
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But ironically, this has the opposite effect.
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If the coach had tried to blame his students or deflect, he'd have come across as weak and defensive.
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Taking action based on your character, what you value and what you think is right, is almost always inconvenient.
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That's why it's so valuable.
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And Ray can see that he's chosen not to take the easy way out.
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And it's not just about earning Ray's respect.
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When we violate our own ethics and then try to get away with it, we reduce our own self -respect.
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And that's why character matters so much.
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But the most important part of the apology is what the coach says next.
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Now I can return your goods, but I can't return the inconvenience, the time, the f*ing headache this is where apologies often go wrong in
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relationships imagine your partner isn't doing their share around the house
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and they're not doing the dishes it would be nice
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if you said thank you
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and helped me with the dishes the problem isn't just the extra work
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that you had to do it's
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that you spent a bunch of time wondering about why they weren't getting it done and it made you feel
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disrespected and so
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when they are apologizing for not doing the dishes
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it doesn't fully capture the scope of the problem that's why what the coach says here is so important.
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Now I can return your goods, but I can't return the inconvenience, the time, the f*ing headache.
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By acknowledging the full depth of the wrong that was done to Ray and his organization, he's making Ray feel understood,
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like they have a shared reality and therefore he can trust him.
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The reason most people don't do this though is because our instinct
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when we apologize is to shrink the problem down so it makes it seem like what we did wasn't so bad.
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I made no disrespect.
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But it's the opposite mindset that makes an apology feel complete, which is I have impeccable honesty and integrity.
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Having the courage to acknowledge what went wrong to its full
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extent is actually what makes an apology land rather than feeling like a dodge.
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Now, the coach is already in an intimidating situation.
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I've got some good news.
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What?
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I found out he's weed we took.
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That is not good news, Ernie.
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Mickey Pearson has terrible news in the face of a violent and expensive bet.
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So the last thing you'd want to do in a situation like this is to expose your vulnerabilities,
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but that is exactly what the coach does next.
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I'll make amends, but just leave me lads alone.
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What makes the coach such a charismatic person is that he has equal parts competence and warmth, which is what we see here.
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You can tell by the emotional tone of his voice he genuinely cares about his students
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and he's communicating
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that he's concerned about their well -being
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now up to this point ray could interpret everything the coach
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is doing as a strategy just a guy trying to protect himself settle a debt
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and get out of a bad situation alive when the coach says
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but just leave me lads alone he's demonstrating the fourth mindset
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which is i go first in humanizing the interaction
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when you are willing to show what you genuinely care about your motives become easier to understand
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and as a result you make yourself more trustworthy but the hardest part of this apology is how
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Ray reacts to it.
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First of all, I'm going to need to know how your lads got the information about where our farm was cited, because that's not common knowledge.
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The coach has just humbled himself before
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Ray, and he gets nothing back from him.
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I think most people would feel pretty devastated by this reaction, especially since a major reason that people do apologize is to get forgiveness,
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to be absolved of the guilt that they're feeling.
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But the coach does two things here that I think are really impressive.
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The natural thing to do here would be to double down on trying to convince
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Ray that he's truly sorry.
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But instead, the coach does nothing.
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Children usually apologize because they're trying to get something.
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They want the forgiveness.
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They want their privileges back.
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They want the other person to stop being mad at them.
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And of course, the coach hopes that
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Ray will accept this apology, but he doesn't beg him to receive it in any particular way.
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Joe Hudson calls this an upright apology.
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You're neither begging for forgiveness nor trying to escape blame.
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You're just standing in it because you behaved in a way that you want to change.
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When we're interacting with someone, there's a lot of times where we're thinking, I need to get this person to like me.
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I need to make this sale.
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Or in the coach's case, I need this person to forgive me.
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But regardless of the relationship, you do not want to drop into this convincing mode.
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This is especially important during an apology because then instead of offering up something to them, you're putting pressure on them.
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And that's actually the fifth charismatic mindset, which is I don't need to convince anyone of anything.
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But part of why the coach is able to take this in stride is because he has an ace up his sleeve.
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I'm going to need to know how your lads got the information about where our farm was sited, because that's not common knowledge.
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Well, I can do better than that.
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One of the strongest positions you can apologize from is when you've already started to make reparations.
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The coach's case, he actually tracked down the man that leaked the location of the farm, but let's just take the dishes problem.
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Instead of apologizing and then changing your behavior, just start washing the dishes.
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Then when you do go to apologize, you've already started fixing that problem.
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Actions obviously speak louder than words.
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What I love about the coach's character is that he displays all of the same qualities when the power dynamics are flipped, like in this scene.
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You could see all five of the charisma mindsets we discussed earlier in the scene, but he's also demonstrating the sixth mindset.
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You're embarrassing yourself here, lads.
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Kids, stab.
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Girls, shoot.
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Boys, punch.
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Grownups, fight with their heads.
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That's where the real battle is.
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Up here, in the grave.
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Now wake up, lads.
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Come on down to the gym.
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We'll see what we can do with you.
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When you openly share what you genuinely care about, what you're trying to do, you give people a chance to connect with you,
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even in a moment of conflict like this one.
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And that is the final charisma mindset, which is I proactively share my purpose.
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These mindsets form the deepest layer of confidence in conflict and everywhere else.
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It's not about always having the perfect response,
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never looking weak, or even getting the other person to respond to you the way that you wish they would.
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It's being okay, even if someone is angry with you, even if you have to admit you were wrong,
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and even if the conversation doesn't end the way you hoped.
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Because when you believe that you'll be okay, no matter how they respond, you stop scrambling to defend yourself.
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Stop trying to explain everything away or convince the other person to see you differently.
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Instead, you can stay calm.
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You can tell the truth and take responsibility.
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When you have the internal confidence and the ability to communicate confidently, conflict becomes a lot easier to handle.
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Now, if you're interested in the fastest way
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that I know to build both that internal confidence and the ability to actually show it when you're feeling pressure,
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that's exactly what we work on inside of Charisma University.
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Over 30 days, you'll get a clear action to take every day
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so that you can practice these skills until they start becoming your default response instead of something
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that you have to consciously remember in the middle of a stressful conversation.
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The program works on both the internal side of confidence and the external skills of how you communicate,
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which takes a lot of the guesswork out of it.
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Just follow the exercises and practice them in your real life.
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So if you want to feel calmer, more confident, more grounded in difficult conversations, you can learn more about Charisma University with the link below.
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Either way, I hope you enjoy this video.
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I'll see you in the next one.
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Esta aula de conversação usa o vídeo “6 Mindsets That Make People Respect You During Conflict”. As palavras que mais se repetem: coach, mindset, apology, apologize, ray. Este vídeo tem 162 frases e 1957 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 9:26. O falante fala rápido, cerca de 207 palavras por minuto, então espere sons ligados e reduzidos. 85% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês; vale a pena estudar o restante antes de começar.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
15 palavras do vídeo que vale a pena aprender, com pronúncia e significado:
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| apology substantivo | /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/ | desculpa |
| mindset substantivo | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentalidade |
| apologize verbo | /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/ | desculpar-se, apologizar |
| dish substantivo | /dɪʃ/ | prato, louça |
| convince verbo | /kənˈvɪns/ | convencer |
| forgiveness substantivo | /fɚˈɡɪvnəs/ | perdão |
| communicate verbo | /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/ | comunicar |
| demonstrate verbo | /ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/ | demonstrar |
| skill substantivo | /skɪl/ | habilidade, talento |
| defensive adjetivo | /dɪˈfɛn.sɪv/ | defensivo, defensante |
| flip verbo | /flɪp/ | virar |
| acknowledge verbo | /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/ | reconhecer |
| headache substantivo | /ˈhɛdeɪk/ | dor de cabeça, enxaqueca |
| dodge verbo | /dɑd͡ʒ/ | esquivar |
| instinct substantivo | /ˈɪn.stɪŋkt/ | instinto |
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| find out verbo | descobrir | |
| get away with verbo | passar batido | |
| mess up verbo | desarrumar, bagunçar | |
| track down verbo | rastrear, localizar | |
| wake up verbo | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | acordar, despertar |
Frases que vale a pena repetir
Frases curtas e completas do vídeo que você pode usar na conversa do dia a dia:
- You're anticipating the conflict that's about to come.
- I've got some good news.
- I found out he's weed we took.
- I'll make amends, but just leave me lads alone.
- You're embarrassing yourself here, lads.
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | have just made · has walked · They've had |
| Orações relativas who / which + oração — informação extra sobre uma pessoa ou coisa | mindset, which is · complete, which is · warmth, which is |
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | was cited · be absolved · was sited |
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 48 contrações e formas reduzidas, como you're, they're, doesn't. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “th”: sixth /sɪksθ/, gather /ˈɡæðɚ/, ethics /ˈɛθ.ɪks/, withdraw /wɪðˈdɹɔ/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: dish /dɪʃ/, reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, wash /wɑʃ/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, capture /ˈkæp.(t)ʃɚ/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: apology /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, inconvenience /ɪnkənˈvinjəns/
Sons difíceis para falantes de português:
- Consoante final — sem acrescentar um “i” depois: mindset /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, demonstrate /ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/, flip /flɪp/, headache /ˈhɛdeɪk/
- /l/ final — a língua toca o céu da boca, não vira “u”: skill /skɪl/, settle /ˈsɛtəl/, humble /ˈhʌmbəl/, stressful /ˈstɹɛsfəl/, impeccable /ɪmˈpɛkəbəl/
- /h/ — um sopro suave, diferente do “r”: headache /ˈhɛdeɪk/, behalf /bɪˈhæf/, humble /ˈhʌmbəl/, behave /bɪˈheɪv/, humanize /ˈhjuː.mə.naɪz/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Comece na velocidade 0,75×, faça shadowing frase por frase e volte à velocidade normal quando ficar fácil.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como apology, mindset, apologize.
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.