تدريب Shadowing: Caught Lying in a Job Interview | Charles Engle | Stand Up Comedy - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو
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226 جمل
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I grew up in Arizona working like a lot of blue collar jobs, but I've worked some silly ones, dude.
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Like when I moved to New York, my first job I was a male nanny.
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It was ridiculous.
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I took care of 10 -year -old twins, boy and a girl, absolute billionaires.
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And my favorite part was they thought I was just as rich, which, yeah, I thought was funny because I was their servant.
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But I did play into it.
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Like one day I picked up the girl from a play date and she was like, You want no secret?
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Sophia's never flown private.
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And I was like, that's humiliating.
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She was like, yeah, she doesn't even have a million dollars.
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And I was like, why are you even hanging out with this bitch?
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And she was like, why do you smell like eggs?
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And I was like, well, I eat them for every meal.
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I don't want to talk about it.
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And she was like, mm, caviar?
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And I was like, yeah, chicken caviar.
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And she was like, oh, yeah?
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How do you eat that?
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And I'm like, with ketchup.
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Can I borrow $20?
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That'd be great.
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Thank you.
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Weird to say, I found out the girl was gay, which is great.
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Very scary moment for me.
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I showed her a picture of my girlfriend for the first time and she goes, oh cool Do you have any inappropriate pictures of her?
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Yeah, she goes, can I see some inappropriate pics?
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And I was like, yeah, could you phrase this in a way that doesn't make our Uber driver call the police?
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Sweet you little perv.
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And her brother total opposite very romantic.
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He'd always come up to me be like I can't wait to be your age so I can just fall in love.
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I'd be like nice Two gay kids.
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That's great.
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Can't wait to see.
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And their mom, she always asks me, she goes, how do I get these kids away from weed?
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And I was like, look, I grew up with like, strict Italian parents, so when I was ten, my dad said that we were allergic to weed.
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He goes, if you smoke, you'll die.
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And then I get into high school, my buddies are like, do you want to smoke?
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And I was like, oh, I'm actually part of the only family in the world that's allergic to weed and premarital sex, so I gotta skip.
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And they were like, all right, take a soda.
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And I was like, you're not gonna believe this.
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Also allergic to soda.
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I could do milk or the Bible.
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Those are the only things getting me to God.
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And I remember they took me to my first house party.
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I remember we get there, you know, everybody's older.
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I'm very nervous.
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I'm awkward.
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I have ED.
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I'm panicking.
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So to relax, like I got drunk and then, you know, I just like I'm chilling out.
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Next thing you know, I'm hitting a bong and I think the coughing is an allergic reaction.
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and then I think the feeling of getting high is the feeling of passing away.
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You know, I'm 15, I'm like, this is it.
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I'm so hungry at the end.
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Dude, I start sprinting around this house, just going, I'm dying, I'm di - Really locking in my virginity for the rest of...
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I really put my dick on ice until fourth year community college.
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For revenge on my dad, I got this weed brownie at this kid at school, you know, my dad picks me up, I give him the brownie, I wait an hour, And I remember I ran into his room and I was like, how's it feel to be high, you fucking liar?
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And he died.
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But, yeah, skips in general.
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Then I got out of nanny.
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I got into a bunch of corporate sales jobs.
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You work in corporate?
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That sucks, doesn't it?
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Hey, corporate.
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You can always tell you hate the job when you're driving to work and you get jealous of car accidents, huh?
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That's the first sign.
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When you see one, you're like, some people have all the luck!
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And dude, when you hate your job and you live in New York and you see that subway coming, your brain's like, just jump!
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And God do I want to, but I don't have the courage.
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And my girlfriend's one of those hypothetical girls.
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She's like, would you jump in front of a train for me?
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And I'm like, I can't even jump in front of a train for me.
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So I don't know.
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It's all.
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But I like corporate jobs.
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I got great jobs, because I lied on my resume.
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Isn't that fun?
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That's great.
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You ever lie in the interview and then get hired?
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What a rush, huh?
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Put that feeling in a needle and let me shoot it.
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That's great.
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Also, if they caught me lying in the interview, I'd double down, keep lying.
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I don't care.
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What are they gonna do, fire me?
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I don't work there.
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One guy got me, dude, one guy, he caught me lying really big.
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I got this VP of sales interview because I said I found it Home Depot on my resume.
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And I kept trying to guess the acronyms he was throwing out.
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We're on Zoom and he's really serious and he goes, all right, here's a big job.
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I need to know your current CPI.
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And I was like, oh yeah, it's like 30%.
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And he goes, what?
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And I go, it's more 50 -50.
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And he goes, so it's 30 % of 50 -50.
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And I went, month to month.
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So it was an hour of that.
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I'm just blabbing, I'm like, yeah, it's half my BBL every quarter.
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And he goes, you understand this is being recorded, right?
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And I was like, yeah, but no. I didn't know that.
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And I looked up CPI after, it's customer profile index.
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So he was asking me, hey, describe your current customer.
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And I went, 30%.
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What?
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And I was like, it's 50 -50.
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He was basically like, hey, what color is this guy?
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And I was like, broccoli's my favorite.
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What?
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I'm like, como se llamas?
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You know this was being recorded.
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And I'm like, 80%.
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Which, guarantee, you know he shared that video with everyone at the office.
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You know they make fun of me.
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They come into work on Mondays like, How was your weekend?
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30 %?
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Are you sure it was a 50 -50?
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You sure?
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You know, Secret Santa, somebody gets a mug with 30%.
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They're like, oh, the dumbass, I remember.
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Yeah, great gift.
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Nobody steal this.
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And the guy, he was pretty funny.
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Dude, he called me like a half hour later and he goes, Hey, unfortunately, you didn't make it to the next step.
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And I went, oh really?
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And he goes, 100%.
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That's good.
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Keep me in mind for future opportunities.
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Fest.
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All right, corporate people, you've been fired?
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No?
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Fuck!
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No, I'm kidding.
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Dude, so my girlfriend came home from work the other day, and she goes, hey, my best friend at work just made an OnlyFans.
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But she goes, keep that a secret.
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Nobody can know, which I think is so funny.
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It's so funny when you know someone has an OnlyFans, but they don't know that you know.
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It's like knowing the superhero and civilian side to somebody.
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You know what I mean?
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Because there was like a work party and I went with her
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and I saw that girl and I was like, what's up?
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What are you doing after this?
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And she was like, I don't know, I'm probably just gonna chill.
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And I was like...
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Whatever you say, Spider -Man.
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She was like, you know?
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And I was like, I subscribe.
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I'm not a crime.
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But you gotta think about getting on it.
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I mean, it's building generational wealth.
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People make millions of, like, you could see some rich girl walking down the street today and someone would be like, whatever, her family got into the railroads 100 years ago.
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But in 100 years, you'll see that same girl and someone will be like, her great -grandmother had the most famous butthole of all time.
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And they'll be like, that's Penny Goldrim?
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This is funny.
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I don't know if anybody has this.
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This happened to me recently.
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I think it's very funny.
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I'm a bloated guy.
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Is anybody bloated and gassy?
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Please.
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There we go.
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Thank you, dude.
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Yeah, nice.
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I'm the gassier one in my relationship and there's one rule.
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My girlfriend's like, I can't fart in the room with her.
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And it has led to some funny, like dude, a couple of weeks ago I was in the bedroom and I was like, hey, I got it.
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And she goes, don't fart in here.
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And I was like, my roommate's in the bathroom.
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And she goes, don't.
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So in In a moment of panic, I went to the window, and I farted out the window, and then I just heard, my God.
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There was a guy walking his dog.
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Imagine this 60 -year -old guy walking his old dog down a neighborhood that I gentrified.
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A window opens fast food style,
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bare ass pops out, farts like he ordered it to his face.
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This guy got a Mick fart and a Diet Coke, no toy. And then, my God.
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And I look out the window, and I see this guy.
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He turns and goes into my building, and I was like, sick.
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He lives here.
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Best case scenario.
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Gonna have to leave the apartment in a disguise every day.
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That's great.
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And then I felt so bad because a week later, I'm in the elevator with this guy, and we're going to laundry.
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Nicest guy on earth.
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He turned to me, he's like, I haven't seen you in the building, I'm Brian.
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And I'd be like, we've met.
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He's like, what do you mean?
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I just pressed all the buttons and farted, and he was like, it's you!
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It's my landlord, Brian.
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We've been together for a while, so my girlfriend wants more dirty talk, and I understand that.
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I'm quiet.
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And it's like, I like dirty talk, I just don't initiate it.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Like, if she starts it, I'll yes and.
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But the problem is I'm never ready to talk, so my voice will crack.
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which is so embarrassing for her to be like, you like that?
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And I'm like, yes!
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But my thing is, she doesn't say dirty words.
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She says penis.
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Ruins it.
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It's bad.
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One night she goes, that penis feels right.
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And I was like, I'm out.
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We're not out of here.
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Don't call my dick by its government name.
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I was like, hey, could you say dirty words?
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And she's like, I can't.
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And I was like, well, I'm gonna.
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And she goes, could you say breasts?
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And I was like, no. She's like, yeah, squeeze my breasts.
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And I was like, that sounds like a misdemeanor.
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I'm not squeezing your, I'll check your breasts.
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But if I'm squeezing, they're tits.
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Those are the rules.
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We all know the rules.
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Tits are for sex, breasts are for cancer.
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Don't flip them up.
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That's weird.
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That's like if my mom came home from the doctor like, Son, they found a lump in my tits.
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You mean breasts?
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She's like, they may have to remove one of my jugs.
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This is getting, if I don't act quick, it may spread to my tight little pussy.
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Okay.
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All right, everybody, that's my time.
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Thanks for coming out.
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Give it up for your house.
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Have a good night.
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Goodbye.
تنزيل التطبيق
كل ما تحتاجه للتحدث بطلاقة
تقييم النطق بالذكاء الاصطناعيتقييم كل جملة
تدريب IPAأتقن كل صوت
المفرداتابنِ رصيدك من الكلمات
لعبة المفرداتتعلّم أثناء اللعب
نفس القناة
FOR YOU
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المفردات وملاحظات التحدث لهذا الدرس
يحتوي هذا الفيديو على 225 جملة و1953 كلمة للتدرب على الترديد. مدة الكلام 10:09. يتكلم المتحدث بسرعة، نحو 192 كلمة في الدقيقة، لذا ستسمع كثيرًا من وصل الكلمات واختزال الأصوات. 82% من الكلمات ضمن أكثر 3,000 كلمة شيوعًا في الإنجليزية، ويُستحسن مراجعة الباقي قبل البدء.
أهم المفردات في هذا الفيديو
15 كلمة من الفيديو تستحق التعلّم، مع النطق والمعنى:
| الكلمة | النطق | المعنى |
|---|---|---|
| breast اسم | /bɹɛst/ | ثَدْي, بز |
| weed اسم | /wiːd/ | عُشْبَة ضَارَّة |
| squeeze فعل | /skwiːz/ | عَصَرَ |
| panic اسم | /ˈpænɪk/ | ذُعْر, رُعْب |
| resume فعل | /ˈɹɛz.ə.meɪ/ | اِسْتَأْنَفَ |
| soda اسم | /ˈsoʊdə/ | صُودَا, كَرْبُونَات اَلصُّودْيُوم |
| meal اسم | /ˈmiːl/ | وَجْبَة, أكلة |
| rush فعل | /ɹʌʃ/ | اِنْدَفَعَ, أَسْرَعَ |
| bedroom اسم | /ˈbɛdˌɹum/ | مَخْدَع, غُرْفَةُ نَوْم |
| egg اسم | /ɛɡ/ | بَيْض, بَيْضَة |
| ridiculous صفة | /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/ | سَخِيف, مَسْخَرَة |
| hungry صفة | /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/ | جَائِع, جَوْعَان |
| guarantee اسم | /ˌɡæɹ.ənˈtiː/ | ضَمَان, ضَمَانَة |
| suck فعل | /sʌk/ | مَصَّ, رَشَفَ |
| crack اسم | /kɹæk/ | صَدْع |
الأفعال المركبة التي ستسمعها
| الكلمة | النطق | المعنى |
|---|---|---|
| come out فعل | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | خَرَجَ, غَادَرَ |
| look out فعل | حا َسـِب | |
| pick up فعل | قَطَفَ |
نطق يحتاج إلى انتباه
يستخدم المتحدث 87 من الصيغ المختصرة، مثل I'm, don't, can't. انطقها بصيغتها القصيرة كما تسمعها.
- أصوات “th”: grandmother /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/, hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/
- أصوات “sh” و“zh”: rush /ɹʌʃ/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/
- الكلمات الطويلة — انتبه لموضع النبر: inappropriate /ˌɪnəˈpɹoʊpɹi.ət/, ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, elevator /ˈɛləˌveɪtɚ/, superhero /ˈs(j)upɚhɪɹoʊ/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/
كيف تتدرب بهذا الفيديو
- استمع إلى الفيديو كاملًا مرة واحدة دون أن تتكلم، ودوّن الكلمات التي لا تعرفها.
- ابدأ بسرعة 0.75×، وردّد جملة جملة، ثم عُد إلى السرعة العادية عندما يصبح الأمر سهلًا.
- سجّل صوتك وقارنه بالأصل، مع الانتباه إلى كلمات مثل breast, weed, squeeze.
القواعد في هذا الفيديو
أكثر التراكيب التي يستخدمها المتحدث، مع العبارات نفسها من الفيديو:
| التركيب | في الفيديو |
|---|---|
| الجمل الشرطية if + جملة، will/would + فعل — شرط ونتيجته | if you smoke, you'll die · if she starts it, I'll yes |
| المضارع التام have/has + اسم المفعول — حدث ماضٍ ما زال له أثر الآن | I've worked · you've been fired · has led |
| المبني للمجهول be + اسم المفعول — التركيز على ما يحدث لا على من يفعله | being recorded · you've been fired |
ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟
التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.