Pratica di Shadowing: Caught Lying in a Job Interview | Charles Engle | Stand Up Comedy - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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226 frasi
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1
I grew up in Arizona working like a lot of blue collar jobs, but I've worked some silly ones, dude.
Sono cresciuto in Arizona facendo un sacco di lavori da operaio, ma ne ho fatti anche di assurdi, amico.
2
Like when I moved to New York, my first job I was a male nanny.
Per esempio, quando mi sono trasferito a New York, il mio primo lavoro è stato quello di tata maschio.
3
It was ridiculous.
Era ridicolo.
4
I took care of 10 -year -old twins, boy and a girl, absolute billionaires.
Mi sono occupato di gemelli di 10 anni, un maschio e una femmina, assolutamente miliardari.
5
And my favorite part was they thought I was just as rich, which, yeah, I thought was funny because I was their servant.
E la parte che preferivo era che pensassero che fossi ricca quanto loro, il che, sì, trovavo divertente perché ero la loro domestica.
6
But I did play into it.
Ma io ci sono cascato.
7
Like one day I picked up the girl from a play date and she was like, You want no secret?
Un giorno sono andato a prendere la bambina dopo un appuntamento per giocare e lei mi ha detto: «Vuoi nessun segreto?»
8
Sophia's never flown private.
Sophia non ha mai volato su un aereo privato.
9
And I was like, that's humiliating.
E io ho pensato, è umiliante.
10
She was like, yeah, she doesn't even have a million dollars.
Lei ha detto tipo, sì, non ha nemmeno un milione di dollari.
11
And I was like, why are you even hanging out with this bitch?
E io ero tipo, ma perché diavolo esci con questa stronza?
12
And she was like, why do you smell like eggs?
E lei ha fatto tipo, perché puzzi di uova?
13
And I was like, well, I eat them for every meal.
E io ero tipo, beh, li mangio a ogni pasto.
14
I don't want to talk about it.
Non voglio parlarne.
15
And she was like, mm, caviar?
E lei faceva tipo, mm, caviale?
16
And I was like, yeah, chicken caviar.
E io ho fatto tipo, sì, caviale di pollo.
17
And she was like, oh, yeah?
E lei ha fatto tipo: oh, sì?
18
How do you eat that?
Come lo mangi?
19
And I'm like, with ketchup.
E io ho detto, con il ketchup.
20
Can I borrow $20?
Posso prendere in prestito 20 dollari?
21
That'd be great.
Sarebbe fantastico.
22
Thank you.
Grazie.
23
Weird to say, I found out the girl was gay, which is great.
Strano a dirsi, ho scoperto che la ragazza è lesbica, il che è fantastico.
24
Very scary moment for me.
Un momento molto spaventoso per me.
25
I showed her a picture of my girlfriend for the first time and she goes, oh cool Do you have any inappropriate pictures of her?
Le ho mostrato una foto della mia ragazza per la prima volta e lei mi ha detto: oh, bello. Hai delle foto inappropriate di lei?
26
Yeah, she goes, can I see some inappropriate pics?
Sì, lei mi fa: posso vedere delle foto inappropriate?
27
And I was like, yeah, could you phrase this in a way that doesn't make our Uber driver call the police?
E io ho detto, sì, potresti formularlo in un modo che non faccia chiamare la polizia al nostro autista di Uber?
28
Sweet you little perv.
Che carino, piccolo pervertito.
29
And her brother total opposite very romantic.
E suo fratello è l'esatto contrario, molto romantico.
30
He'd always come up to me be like I can't wait to be your age so I can just fall in love.
31
I'd be like nice Two gay kids.
32
That's great.
33
Can't wait to see.
34
And their mom, she always asks me, she goes, how do I get these kids away from weed?
35
And I was like, look, I grew up with like, strict Italian parents, so when I was ten, my dad said that we were allergic to weed.
36
He goes, if you smoke, you'll die.
37
And then I get into high school, my buddies are like, do you want to smoke?
38
And I was like, oh, I'm actually part of the only family in the world that's allergic to weed and premarital sex, so I gotta skip.
39
And they were like, all right, take a soda.
40
And I was like, you're not gonna believe this.
41
Also allergic to soda.
42
I could do milk or the Bible.
43
Those are the only things getting me to God.
44
And I remember they took me to my first house party.
45
I remember we get there, you know, everybody's older.
46
I'm very nervous.
47
I'm awkward.
48
I have ED.
49
I'm panicking.
50
So to relax, like I got drunk and then, you know, I just like I'm chilling out.
51
Next thing you know, I'm hitting a bong and I think the coughing is an allergic reaction.
52
and then I think the feeling of getting high is the feeling of passing away.
53
You know, I'm 15, I'm like, this is it.
54
I'm so hungry at the end.
55
Dude, I start sprinting around this house, just going, I'm dying, I'm di - Really locking in my virginity for the rest of...
56
I really put my dick on ice until fourth year community college.
57
For revenge on my dad, I got this weed brownie at this kid at school, you know, my dad picks me up, I give him the brownie, I wait an hour, And I remember I ran into his room and I was like, how's it feel to be high, you fucking liar?
58
And he died.
59
But, yeah, skips in general.
60
Then I got out of nanny.
61
I got into a bunch of corporate sales jobs.
62
You work in corporate?
63
That sucks, doesn't it?
64
Hey, corporate.
65
You can always tell you hate the job when you're driving to work and you get jealous of car accidents, huh?
66
That's the first sign.
67
When you see one, you're like, some people have all the luck!
68
And dude, when you hate your job and you live in New York and you see that subway coming, your brain's like, just jump!
69
And God do I want to, but I don't have the courage.
70
And my girlfriend's one of those hypothetical girls.
71
She's like, would you jump in front of a train for me?
72
And I'm like, I can't even jump in front of a train for me.
73
So I don't know.
74
It's all.
75
But I like corporate jobs.
76
I got great jobs, because I lied on my resume.
77
Isn't that fun?
78
That's great.
79
You ever lie in the interview and then get hired?
80
What a rush, huh?
81
Put that feeling in a needle and let me shoot it.
82
That's great.
83
Also, if they caught me lying in the interview, I'd double down, keep lying.
84
I don't care.
85
What are they gonna do, fire me?
86
I don't work there.
87
One guy got me, dude, one guy, he caught me lying really big.
88
I got this VP of sales interview because I said I found it Home Depot on my resume.
89
And I kept trying to guess the acronyms he was throwing out.
90
We're on Zoom and he's really serious and he goes, all right, here's a big job.
91
I need to know your current CPI.
92
And I was like, oh yeah, it's like 30%.
93
And he goes, what?
94
And I go, it's more 50 -50.
95
And he goes, so it's 30 % of 50 -50.
96
And I went, month to month.
97
So it was an hour of that.
98
I'm just blabbing, I'm like, yeah, it's half my BBL every quarter.
99
And he goes, you understand this is being recorded, right?
100
And I was like, yeah, but no. I didn't know that.
101
And I looked up CPI after, it's customer profile index.
102
So he was asking me, hey, describe your current customer.
103
And I went, 30%.
104
What?
105
And I was like, it's 50 -50.
106
He was basically like, hey, what color is this guy?
107
And I was like, broccoli's my favorite.
108
What?
109
I'm like, como se llamas?
110
You know this was being recorded.
111
And I'm like, 80%.
112
Which, guarantee, you know he shared that video with everyone at the office.
113
You know they make fun of me.
114
They come into work on Mondays like, How was your weekend?
115
30 %?
116
Are you sure it was a 50 -50?
117
You sure?
118
You know, Secret Santa, somebody gets a mug with 30%.
119
They're like, oh, the dumbass, I remember.
120
Yeah, great gift.
121
Nobody steal this.
122
And the guy, he was pretty funny.
123
Dude, he called me like a half hour later and he goes, Hey, unfortunately, you didn't make it to the next step.
124
And I went, oh really?
125
And he goes, 100%.
126
That's good.
127
Keep me in mind for future opportunities.
128
Fest.
129
All right, corporate people, you've been fired?
130
No?
131
Fuck!
132
No, I'm kidding.
133
Dude, so my girlfriend came home from work the other day, and she goes, hey, my best friend at work just made an OnlyFans.
134
But she goes, keep that a secret.
135
Nobody can know, which I think is so funny.
136
It's so funny when you know someone has an OnlyFans, but they don't know that you know.
137
It's like knowing the superhero and civilian side to somebody.
138
You know what I mean?
139
Because there was like a work party and I went with her
140
and I saw that girl and I was like, what's up?
141
What are you doing after this?
142
And she was like, I don't know, I'm probably just gonna chill.
143
And I was like...
144
Whatever you say, Spider -Man.
145
She was like, you know?
146
And I was like, I subscribe.
147
I'm not a crime.
148
But you gotta think about getting on it.
149
I mean, it's building generational wealth.
150
People make millions of, like, you could see some rich girl walking down the street today and someone would be like, whatever, her family got into the railroads 100 years ago.
151
But in 100 years, you'll see that same girl and someone will be like, her great -grandmother had the most famous butthole of all time.
152
And they'll be like, that's Penny Goldrim?
153
This is funny.
154
I don't know if anybody has this.
155
This happened to me recently.
156
I think it's very funny.
157
I'm a bloated guy.
158
Is anybody bloated and gassy?
159
Please.
160
There we go.
161
Thank you, dude.
162
Yeah, nice.
163
I'm the gassier one in my relationship and there's one rule.
164
My girlfriend's like, I can't fart in the room with her.
165
And it has led to some funny, like dude, a couple of weeks ago I was in the bedroom and I was like, hey, I got it.
166
And she goes, don't fart in here.
167
And I was like, my roommate's in the bathroom.
168
And she goes, don't.
169
So in In a moment of panic, I went to the window, and I farted out the window, and then I just heard, my God.
170
There was a guy walking his dog.
171
Imagine this 60 -year -old guy walking his old dog down a neighborhood that I gentrified.
172
A window opens fast food style,
173
bare ass pops out, farts like he ordered it to his face.
174
This guy got a Mick fart and a Diet Coke, no toy. And then, my God.
175
And I look out the window, and I see this guy.
176
He turns and goes into my building, and I was like, sick.
177
He lives here.
178
Best case scenario.
179
Gonna have to leave the apartment in a disguise every day.
180
That's great.
181
And then I felt so bad because a week later, I'm in the elevator with this guy, and we're going to laundry.
182
Nicest guy on earth.
183
He turned to me, he's like, I haven't seen you in the building, I'm Brian.
184
And I'd be like, we've met.
185
He's like, what do you mean?
186
I just pressed all the buttons and farted, and he was like, it's you!
187
It's my landlord, Brian.
188
We've been together for a while, so my girlfriend wants more dirty talk, and I understand that.
189
I'm quiet.
190
And it's like, I like dirty talk, I just don't initiate it.
191
Do you know what I mean?
192
Like, if she starts it, I'll yes and.
193
But the problem is I'm never ready to talk, so my voice will crack.
194
which is so embarrassing for her to be like, you like that?
195
And I'm like, yes!
196
But my thing is, she doesn't say dirty words.
197
She says penis.
198
Ruins it.
199
It's bad.
200
One night she goes, that penis feels right.
201
And I was like, I'm out.
202
We're not out of here.
203
Don't call my dick by its government name.
204
I was like, hey, could you say dirty words?
205
And she's like, I can't.
206
And I was like, well, I'm gonna.
207
And she goes, could you say breasts?
208
And I was like, no. She's like, yeah, squeeze my breasts.
209
And I was like, that sounds like a misdemeanor.
210
I'm not squeezing your, I'll check your breasts.
211
But if I'm squeezing, they're tits.
212
Those are the rules.
213
We all know the rules.
214
Tits are for sex, breasts are for cancer.
215
Don't flip them up.
216
That's weird.
217
That's like if my mom came home from the doctor like, Son, they found a lump in my tits.
218
You mean breasts?
219
She's like, they may have to remove one of my jugs.
220
This is getting, if I don't act quick, it may spread to my tight little pussy.
221
Okay.
222
All right, everybody, that's my time.
223
Thanks for coming out.
224
Give it up for your house.
225
Have a good night.
226
Goodbye.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questo video contiene 225 frasi e 1953 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 10:09. Chi parla va veloce, circa 192 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 82% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| breast sostantivo | /bɹɛst/ | mammella, poppa |
| weed sostantivo | /wiːd/ | erbaccia |
| allergic aggettivo | /əˈlɝ.d͡ʒɪk/ | allergico |
| squeeze verbo | /skwiːz/ | spremere, stringere |
| panic sostantivo | /ˈpænɪk/ | panico |
| skip verbo | /skɪp/ | balzare, saltellare |
| chill verbo | /tʃɪl/ | raffreddare |
| resume verbo | /ˈɹɛz.ə.meɪ/ | riprendere, continuare |
| soda sostantivo | /ˈsoʊdə/ | soda, carbonato di sodio |
| meal sostantivo | /ˈmiːl/ | pasto |
| rush verbo | /ɹʌʃ/ | affrettarsi, correre |
| bedroom sostantivo | /ˈbɛdˌɹum/ | camera da letto, camera |
| egg sostantivo | /ɛɡ/ | uovo |
| ridiculous aggettivo | /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/ | ridicolo |
| hungry aggettivo | /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/ | affamato, avere fame |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| double down verbo | rincarare la dose | |
| find out verbo | scoprire | |
| look out verbo | fare attenzione, stare attento | |
| pass away verbo | scomparire, mancare | |
| pick up verbo | tirare su, sollevare | |
| throw out verbo | /ˈθɹəʊ ˌaʊt/ | buttare via, rigettare |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 87 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come I'm, don't, can't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: grandmother /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/, hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: rush /ɹʌʃ/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: inappropriate /ˌɪnəˈpɹoʊpɹi.ət/, ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, elevator /ˈɛləˌveɪtɚ/, superhero /ˈs(j)upɚhɪɹoʊ/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come breast, weed, allergic.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Frasi condizionali if + frase, will/would + verbo — una condizione e il suo risultato | if you smoke, you'll die · if she starts it, I'll yes |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | I've worked · you've been fired · has led |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | being recorded · you've been fired |
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.