Shadowing Practice: Caught Lying in a Job Interview | Charles Engle | Stand Up Comedy - Learn English Speaking with Video
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I grew up in Arizona working like a lot of blue collar jobs, but I've worked some silly ones, dude.
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Like when I moved to New York, my first job I was a male nanny.
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It was ridiculous.
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I took care of 10 -year -old twins, boy and a girl, absolute billionaires.
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And my favorite part was they thought I was just as rich, which, yeah, I thought was funny because I was their servant.
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But I did play into it.
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Like one day I picked up the girl from a play date and she was like, You want no secret?
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Sophia's never flown private.
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And I was like, that's humiliating.
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She was like, yeah, she doesn't even have a million dollars.
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And I was like, why are you even hanging out with this bitch?
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And she was like, why do you smell like eggs?
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And I was like, well, I eat them for every meal.
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I don't want to talk about it.
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And she was like, mm, caviar?
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And I was like, yeah, chicken caviar.
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And she was like, oh, yeah?
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How do you eat that?
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And I'm like, with ketchup.
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Can I borrow $20?
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That'd be great.
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Thank you.
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Weird to say, I found out the girl was gay, which is great.
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Very scary moment for me.
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I showed her a picture of my girlfriend for the first time and she goes, oh cool Do you have any inappropriate pictures of her?
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Yeah, she goes, can I see some inappropriate pics?
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And I was like, yeah, could you phrase this in a way that doesn't make our Uber driver call the police?
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Sweet you little perv.
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And her brother total opposite very romantic.
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He'd always come up to me be like I can't wait to be your age so I can just fall in love.
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I'd be like nice Two gay kids.
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That's great.
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Can't wait to see.
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And their mom, she always asks me, she goes, how do I get these kids away from weed?
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And I was like, look, I grew up with like, strict Italian parents, so when I was ten, my dad said that we were allergic to weed.
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He goes, if you smoke, you'll die.
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And then I get into high school, my buddies are like, do you want to smoke?
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And I was like, oh, I'm actually part of the only family in the world that's allergic to weed and premarital sex, so I gotta skip.
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And they were like, all right, take a soda.
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And I was like, you're not gonna believe this.
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Also allergic to soda.
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I could do milk or the Bible.
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Those are the only things getting me to God.
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And I remember they took me to my first house party.
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I remember we get there, you know, everybody's older.
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I'm very nervous.
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I'm awkward.
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I have ED.
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I'm panicking.
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So to relax, like I got drunk and then, you know, I just like I'm chilling out.
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Next thing you know, I'm hitting a bong and I think the coughing is an allergic reaction.
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and then I think the feeling of getting high is the feeling of passing away.
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You know, I'm 15, I'm like, this is it.
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I'm so hungry at the end.
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Dude, I start sprinting around this house, just going, I'm dying, I'm di - Really locking in my virginity for the rest of...
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I really put my dick on ice until fourth year community college.
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For revenge on my dad, I got this weed brownie at this kid at school, you know, my dad picks me up, I give him the brownie, I wait an hour, And I remember I ran into his room and I was like, how's it feel to be high, you fucking liar?
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And he died.
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But, yeah, skips in general.
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Then I got out of nanny.
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I got into a bunch of corporate sales jobs.
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You work in corporate?
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That sucks, doesn't it?
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Hey, corporate.
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You can always tell you hate the job when you're driving to work and you get jealous of car accidents, huh?
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That's the first sign.
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When you see one, you're like, some people have all the luck!
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And dude, when you hate your job and you live in New York and you see that subway coming, your brain's like, just jump!
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And God do I want to, but I don't have the courage.
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And my girlfriend's one of those hypothetical girls.
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She's like, would you jump in front of a train for me?
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And I'm like, I can't even jump in front of a train for me.
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So I don't know.
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It's all.
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But I like corporate jobs.
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I got great jobs, because I lied on my resume.
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Isn't that fun?
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That's great.
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You ever lie in the interview and then get hired?
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What a rush, huh?
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Put that feeling in a needle and let me shoot it.
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That's great.
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Also, if they caught me lying in the interview, I'd double down, keep lying.
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I don't care.
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What are they gonna do, fire me?
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I don't work there.
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One guy got me, dude, one guy, he caught me lying really big.
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I got this VP of sales interview because I said I found it Home Depot on my resume.
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And I kept trying to guess the acronyms he was throwing out.
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We're on Zoom and he's really serious and he goes, all right, here's a big job.
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I need to know your current CPI.
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And I was like, oh yeah, it's like 30%.
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And he goes, what?
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And I go, it's more 50 -50.
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And he goes, so it's 30 % of 50 -50.
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And I went, month to month.
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So it was an hour of that.
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I'm just blabbing, I'm like, yeah, it's half my BBL every quarter.
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And he goes, you understand this is being recorded, right?
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And I was like, yeah, but no. I didn't know that.
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And I looked up CPI after, it's customer profile index.
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So he was asking me, hey, describe your current customer.
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And I went, 30%.
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What?
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And I was like, it's 50 -50.
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He was basically like, hey, what color is this guy?
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And I was like, broccoli's my favorite.
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What?
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I'm like, como se llamas?
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You know this was being recorded.
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And I'm like, 80%.
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Which, guarantee, you know he shared that video with everyone at the office.
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You know they make fun of me.
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They come into work on Mondays like, How was your weekend?
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30 %?
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Are you sure it was a 50 -50?
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You sure?
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You know, Secret Santa, somebody gets a mug with 30%.
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They're like, oh, the dumbass, I remember.
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Yeah, great gift.
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Nobody steal this.
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And the guy, he was pretty funny.
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Dude, he called me like a half hour later and he goes, Hey, unfortunately, you didn't make it to the next step.
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And I went, oh really?
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And he goes, 100%.
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That's good.
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Keep me in mind for future opportunities.
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Fest.
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All right, corporate people, you've been fired?
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No?
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Fuck!
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No, I'm kidding.
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Dude, so my girlfriend came home from work the other day, and she goes, hey, my best friend at work just made an OnlyFans.
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But she goes, keep that a secret.
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Nobody can know, which I think is so funny.
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It's so funny when you know someone has an OnlyFans, but they don't know that you know.
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It's like knowing the superhero and civilian side to somebody.
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You know what I mean?
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Because there was like a work party and I went with her
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and I saw that girl and I was like, what's up?
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What are you doing after this?
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And she was like, I don't know, I'm probably just gonna chill.
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And I was like...
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Whatever you say, Spider -Man.
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She was like, you know?
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And I was like, I subscribe.
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I'm not a crime.
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But you gotta think about getting on it.
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I mean, it's building generational wealth.
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People make millions of, like, you could see some rich girl walking down the street today and someone would be like, whatever, her family got into the railroads 100 years ago.
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But in 100 years, you'll see that same girl and someone will be like, her great -grandmother had the most famous butthole of all time.
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And they'll be like, that's Penny Goldrim?
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This is funny.
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I don't know if anybody has this.
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This happened to me recently.
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I think it's very funny.
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I'm a bloated guy.
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Is anybody bloated and gassy?
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Please.
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There we go.
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Thank you, dude.
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Yeah, nice.
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I'm the gassier one in my relationship and there's one rule.
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My girlfriend's like, I can't fart in the room with her.
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And it has led to some funny, like dude, a couple of weeks ago I was in the bedroom and I was like, hey, I got it.
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And she goes, don't fart in here.
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And I was like, my roommate's in the bathroom.
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And she goes, don't.
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So in In a moment of panic, I went to the window, and I farted out the window, and then I just heard, my God.
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There was a guy walking his dog.
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Imagine this 60 -year -old guy walking his old dog down a neighborhood that I gentrified.
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A window opens fast food style,
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bare ass pops out, farts like he ordered it to his face.
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This guy got a Mick fart and a Diet Coke, no toy. And then, my God.
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And I look out the window, and I see this guy.
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He turns and goes into my building, and I was like, sick.
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He lives here.
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Best case scenario.
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Gonna have to leave the apartment in a disguise every day.
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That's great.
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And then I felt so bad because a week later, I'm in the elevator with this guy, and we're going to laundry.
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Nicest guy on earth.
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He turned to me, he's like, I haven't seen you in the building, I'm Brian.
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And I'd be like, we've met.
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He's like, what do you mean?
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I just pressed all the buttons and farted, and he was like, it's you!
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It's my landlord, Brian.
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We've been together for a while, so my girlfriend wants more dirty talk, and I understand that.
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I'm quiet.
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And it's like, I like dirty talk, I just don't initiate it.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Like, if she starts it, I'll yes and.
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But the problem is I'm never ready to talk, so my voice will crack.
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which is so embarrassing for her to be like, you like that?
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And I'm like, yes!
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But my thing is, she doesn't say dirty words.
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She says penis.
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Ruins it.
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It's bad.
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One night she goes, that penis feels right.
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And I was like, I'm out.
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We're not out of here.
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Don't call my dick by its government name.
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I was like, hey, could you say dirty words?
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And she's like, I can't.
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And I was like, well, I'm gonna.
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And she goes, could you say breasts?
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And I was like, no. She's like, yeah, squeeze my breasts.
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And I was like, that sounds like a misdemeanor.
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I'm not squeezing your, I'll check your breasts.
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But if I'm squeezing, they're tits.
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Those are the rules.
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We all know the rules.
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Tits are for sex, breasts are for cancer.
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Don't flip them up.
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That's weird.
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That's like if my mom came home from the doctor like, Son, they found a lump in my tits.
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You mean breasts?
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She's like, they may have to remove one of my jugs.
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This is getting, if I don't act quick, it may spread to my tight little pussy.
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Okay.
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All right, everybody, that's my time.
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Thanks for coming out.
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Give it up for your house.
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Have a good night.
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Goodbye.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 225 cümle ve 1953 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 10:09 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 192 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %82’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| breast isim | /bɹɛst/ | meme |
| weed isim | /wiːd/ | yaban otu |
| allergic sıfat | /əˈlɝ.d͡ʒɪk/ | alerjik |
| squeeze fiil | /skwiːz/ | sıkmak, sıkıştırmak |
| panic isim | /ˈpænɪk/ | panik, telaş |
| skip fiil | /skɪp/ | sekmek |
| inappropriate sıfat | /ˌɪnəˈpɹoʊpɹi.ət/ | uygunsuz |
| meal isim | /ˈmiːl/ | yemek, aş |
| rush fiil | /ɹʌʃ/ | acele etmek, aşıkmak |
| bedroom isim | /ˈbɛdˌɹum/ | yatak odası |
| egg isim | /ɛɡ/ | yumurta |
| ridiculous sıfat | /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/ | saçma, komik |
| hungry sıfat | /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/ | aç |
| guarantee isim | /ˌɡæɹ.ənˈtiː/ | garanti, güvence |
| suck fiil | /sʌk/ | emmek |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| come out fiil | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | çıkmak |
| find out fiil | anlamak, ortaya çıkarmak | |
| look up fiil | /ˌlʊk ˈʌp/ | yukarı bakmak |
| pass away fiil | göçmek, Hakk'ın rahmetine kavuşmak |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı I'm, don't, can't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 87 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: grandmother /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/, hypothetical /ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: rush /ɹʌʃ/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: inappropriate /ˌɪnəˈpɹoʊpɹi.ət/, ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, elevator /ˈɛləˌveɪtɚ/, superhero /ˈs(j)upɚhɪɹoʊ/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; breast, weed, allergic gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Koşul cümleleri if + cümle, will/would + fiil — bir koşul ve sonucu | if you smoke, you'll die · if she starts it, I'll yes |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | I've worked · you've been fired · has led |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | being recorded · you've been fired |
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.