Pratique du Shadowing: 5 Habits Constantly Draining Your Energy | Yung Pueblo - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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Saying yes to too many things is the path to burnout.
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You just keep adding on more and more things, more responsibilities, more objectives.
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It's easy to get lost.
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It's actually a really good point.
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I don't need to add more things.
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I don't need to follow every exciting path.
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You can't have a perfect plan.
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You can't wait for this ideal moment to execute and try to act on it.
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For a lot of people, they just wait too long.
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What do you think people should do who are ambitious but want to enjoy their life?
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That's such a good question. So...
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now you have millions of people that follow you online
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that have read your work what are the most common things
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people repeat back to you like what are the things
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that people are getting tattooed on their bodies
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because i know that's happening yeah what what are the things
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that you're like oh wow whatever came into me this really resonated yeah i think the most common one
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that i see is
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if the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times the act of letting go is healing, but it doesn't mean it's a one -time event.
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You may have to let that same thing go over and over again because the mind is malleable, but it requires practice.
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So when you feel that tension coming up, instead of grabbing onto it and, you know, rolling in it, you have to practice letting it go.
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And then eventually the mind will learn.
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So for you, let's say somebody is in deep pain.
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Do you have a practice that you think through to release pain?
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I mean, I've been meditating Vipassana really seriously since 2012.
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And, you know, started off with 10 -day practices, 10 -day meditation retreats that are totally silent.
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I've done 20 -day long retreats, 30 -day, 45 -day.
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And this year, I did my first 60 -day retreat.
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And that practice, it's sort of like taking yourself to the mental gym.
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You're building awareness, you're building non -reaction, and you're building compassion for yourself and others.
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Those are things that are built into the human mind, but they're not necessarily strong.
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And that's the key way that I take care of myself.
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That's really where my, you know, when the mind is really heavy and full of pain, you're not going to put out your best output.
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When you decrease that heaviness and the mind becomes lighter, then your creativity really starts flowing so I think without spending all
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that time meditating I would have never been a writer that's why I always spend time like
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when I carve out a year like I started this year
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with a 60 -day meditation retreat totally silent in India
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and I need that time to just work on myself so
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that I can come out and and give more but without
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that you know you just keep adding on and adding on more and more things, more responsibilities, more objectives, and it's easy to get lost.
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So to me, that clarifies what should I actually spend my time on.
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It helps me do the healing that, you know, of the challenges that I went through when I was younger and just stay focused.
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So you know how these days they say founders have to be obsessed.
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You have to be obsessed to win.
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Obsessed is the buzzword these days.
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It is.
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And so I guess my question is like, is it possible to be healthily obsessed?
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I'd rather be focused and excited about what I'm doing than obsessed.
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Obsessed is like, when I hear that word, I feel like there's a bit of a cloud over my eyes where part of being a founder is adaptability.
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You have to be able to adapt.
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You can have a clear goal, but if you need to shift things to actually be able to make a return to your investors,
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to be able to actually hire more people or really produce something successful, the plan from day one is not going to be the same plan like three years from then.
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So I think focus allows that flexibility that obsession doesn't.
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Yeah, I think about that a lot.
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Because I do think we have these stories we tell ourselves, and then they become ingrained in our head.
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And it's like a neural pathway that gets deeper and deeper and deeper until it's our truth.
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And so I have a lot of words that I say to myself that sometimes I question, like, do you have to be obsessed to win.
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I don't really ever question that.
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I just do it and think that must be true.
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I remember when I first started writing, I knew that I wanted to start with poetry and then also play around with essays.
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But back in 2016, 2015, when I first started, I would write a piece
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and I would spend time looking at it and just keep taking out words, keep taking out words.
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And I'm like, is this enhancing the meaning?
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Is this enhancing the power of what I'm trying to say? because, especially if you're sharing something online,
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you have barely half a second with an individual to really give them something of value.
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What is your favorite thing that you've ever written?
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Do you have something you come back to?
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Yeah, there's a piece that I've wrote that's in, I think, the first book.
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It's about love.
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It's love.
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It essentially goes along the lines, like, love is not about...
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trying to think, you know, what you can do for me.
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Love is me trying to give you as much as I can so that you can shine.
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You know, that selfless quality of love, like so many relationships of our relationships are so transactional.
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And when you really, you know, you being in a serious marriage, I'm also in a serious marriage, like you both have to be really good at just giving selflessly,
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giving selflessly repeatedly, and then trying to design a culture in your relationship that is actually nourishing to the both of you.
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And that requires a lot of honesty.
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That requires hard conversations.
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And the only thing you can really expect is imperfection.
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And you too will figure it out over time.
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You will have to have things that you apologize about or you said something a little too harshly or whatnot.
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But you're just not gonna be always moving at the same exact pace.
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So there may be periods where, you know, you're really supporting the relationship and bringing in a lot to the table, But then other times your partner has to step up because,
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you know, you're going through a hard moment.
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Like, you know, a dear family member could have passed away.
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Like relationships, even when the two of you love each other so much, are still full of constant problem solving.
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So that means we have to take turns leading.
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We have to take turns stepping up.
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And I think that's part of the beauty of holding each other.
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Yeah, these days it does feel like also there's so much around boundaries.
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You know, I won't do this for my partner and I won't do that.
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And, you know, I don't want to be taken advantage of.
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I see it a lot with women, you know, talking about this.
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And you have a quote that I love, which is, pain has a strong magnetic force.
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It can pull you towards evolution or it can pull you towards reveling in the darker tendencies of the mind.
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And so I was wondering, how do you deal with the darker tendencies of the mind?
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How do you deal with pain?
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It could be in relationships or in anything in life.
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Yeah, you have to be able to observe yourself clearly with acceptance,
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without judgment, so that you can see what's actually happening inside of you.
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Like where do my behaviors originate from and having, have a really good sense of,
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you know, where you can go and letting your actions take you into a brighter direction as opposed to a darker one.
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Because ultimately what are we?
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We are like the accumulation of our actions and having that strong determination to put your foot down and say,
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okay, I know that my mind would like to be really upset, would like to scream, would like to fight, would like to, but that's not necessarily productive.
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Let me double down on being honest with myself.
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Okay, I may feel this tension in this moment.
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Do I need to play it out or can I just voice it calmly?
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So how do you do that calmly part?
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Like I think in a lot of what we do, you get in these bad patterns, you fall in them and you stay there yeah
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so like how do you break bad patterns it's two key words slow down slow down i think we are
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so impulsive it's lightning fast it's so quick that you think
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that it's the real you that the first impulse is the real you
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and it's not the first impulse is your defensive mechanism
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that you learned probably when you were a child you know some people will react with anger with sadness, whatever it is.
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But when you build your awareness, you can start seeing the moment that the pattern starts arising,
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and the awareness literally makes your mind more spacious.
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So you see the pattern arising, and then that quality of non -reaction that I was talking about earlier, that's you hitting the pause button.
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Okay, I see the pattern coming up, but I'm going to pause it.
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I'm not going to act on it.
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I'm not going to suppress it.
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I'm going to let myself feel it, but i'm going to give myself the time
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that i need to choose skillfully
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and that's the key word skillful like can you take this energy
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and then transmute it into something that's actually productive do you
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and your wife fight yeah for sure we don't agree all
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the time yeah are you latino yeah okay i don't latino
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men i think are spicy too i'm a latina chick and i always joke that I'm pretty spicy.
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But like, were you ever super elevated?
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Like, are you the type of person that gets mad?
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And yeah, yeah.
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I mean, the first part of our relationship when my wife and I got together, you know, the first six years, it was like living in a hurricane.
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Like we were, it was a constant blame game.
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Like the mind does not want to accept responsibility.
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It's always looking for an external reason.
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Like, where can I point the finger?
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How can I blame you instead of just taking ownership over how I feel.
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And that was the first six years.
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And it wasn't until we started meditating where we were individually, separately building our own self -awareness.
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And as we were building our self -awareness, we started seeing, okay.
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this actually isn't always your fault.
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Actually, this tension that I feel started way before the argument.
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And then my mind was looking for reasons to make this into a big deal.
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And there's this key moment that happened where my wife and I were both, you know, maybe like three years after we started meditating really seriously, we were in different rooms.
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We were working for a few hours.
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I was in the living room.
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She was in, I think, the bedroom.
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And she comes into the room that I was in laughing.
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And I'm like, what's going on?
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What's up?
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And she was like, I just spent the last two hours trying to figure out how this tension
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that I feel is your fault.
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And what she found her mind doing was going further and further back in time to try to like pick something up, open up an old fight.
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And she was like, wow, I like caught it in action.
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And like, she was like, it has nothing to do with it.
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She's just, I just didn't sleep well the night before.
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Interesting.
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I really need to try this.
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So is it, how do you enact this sort of calmness and fights in your life?
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Is it discipline or spirituality or something else?
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I think it's a mixture of both.
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I mean, you really narrowed it down.
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I think that the spirituality, I think of it as mental training and then the discipline to not get lost in the heat of the moment.
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And when we have arguments, they totally happen.
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But now instead of trying to win, because that was the game before, was like, how can I win the argument?
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And let's say you're married to like a lawyer, like they're always gonna win.
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They're gonna put together a better argument in their mind really quickly.
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Instead, what we try to do is we're arguing because I can't see you clearly.
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There's something that I'm missing.
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So instead of trying to win, my objective is, can I hear your part of your story,
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your version of what happened to try to really understand where you're coming from?
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And simultaneously, she's giving that space to me as well so that we can take turns trying to hear and see, okay, what am I missing?
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Can you progress in your relationship if only one of you is doing work like this?
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I think it's going to be challenging.
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I think it's what matters more because it's not like, oh, you and your partner both have to see a therapist or both have to meditate.
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What matters more is, are you both open to growth?
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Do you have that humility to be able to say, oh actually my mistake i messed up i i need to apologize for
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that and i'm also willing to correct my behaviors
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and try to do better next time that's the key element is are you open to growth
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so you don't both need to like meditate two hours a day
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or or whatnot you just have to be ready to to be real to be honest
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and be humble yeah i've heard a lot of people have
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that statement which is um well i was working on myself
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but he wasn't ever doing the work whatever the work is
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or she wasn't doing that i really don't like
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that term the work right
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because that's a very sort of it it comes with obscurity like what does
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that even mean and also is how i define the work actually true
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or is it that just what works for me personally
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so you can't universalize that you can't say like this is how you do the work just
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because it's something helped you in
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that moment of your life everyone's work is going to look differently for them to take steps forward yeah Yeah.
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And so really the way to do it is to focus on yourself as opposed to the other person, which none of us want to do.
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That's really terrible advice.
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Yeah.
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How can I change you?
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That's what we all want to do, right?
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But you have like, you have another quote that I love from your book that says, your habits are the paint you use to create your personal masterpiece.
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Can you explain what that means?
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A lot of times we think about our life as something that's driven by the outside in, but it's really the inside out.
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You have to think of your actions as the key thing
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that designs your life there are still going to be external obstacles
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that may come and
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but it's ultimately like what can you double down on what can you count on it's your own actions
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and your actions are what you use to flow better with the universe
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and that's what i meant earlier where you know the universe is something
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that it's not static it's dynamic and to be able to like adapt bob
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and weave and really like you know handle the ups
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and downs of life you have to be able to have a mixture of that adaptability and just rely on good actions.
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Yeah.
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You also have a saying that is interesting that you don't always hear from people who are talking about slowness and thoughtfulness,
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which is waiting doesn't get you anywhere.
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You don't need a perfect plan.
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What you really need is momentum.
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What do you mean and how do you know when that's applicable versus slow down?
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Yeah, it's been really fun.
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You know, I spend a lot of time meditating, but I also have, I have friends in Silicon Valley, and we started a venture capital company called Whism Ventures.
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And it's been successful.
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You know, we've, we had a, our first fund was 10 million, our second fund, 77 million.
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And we've invested in great companies that are really trying to, trying to scale wellness and wellbeing in the world.
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But what I've learned from that is that you can't have a perfect plan.
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You can't wait for like this ideal moment to execute and try to act on it.
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And I found that even in my own personal work as a writer, where I learned more from actually acting on,
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you know, if a sentence appears in my mind, let me put it down.
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And in the process of putting together an essay, I can actually see where it's going and what actually will communicate most effectively with the reader.
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For a lot of people, they just, they wait too long.
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They wait too long.
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And it's in the process of actually writing or building a company, whatever it is, like that's where all the lessons come from.
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And then you keep expanding your experience.
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I think I if I had waited to, you know, be the perfect poet before I released anything or like be the perfect writer, it would have never worked.
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I would have never released anything.
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Do you ever look back on the things that you did before and cringe?
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Yeah, totally.
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Totally.
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Yeah, I think about it.
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And, you know, if I were to start have started today, the themes and the things that I would have been working on would be differently.
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But I also want to honor the fact that, you know, when I go out and do events and I talk to the readers,
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they all have such different books that they love.
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And people will tell me, you know, say In Word was their favorite or Clarity and Connection was their favorite or lighter.
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And that was a phase that I needed to honor.
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Like, just let it be what it is.
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You can't go back and change it
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but I think there's nothing wrong with like understanding that life is full of chapters and that includes you as well.
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So what do you say to yourself when you're too scared to put something out or maybe when, you know, young, young Pueblo.
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Younger Pueblo, yeah.
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Younger Pueblo, honestly.
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Like what do you say when that fear comes of like, is this good enough?
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Should I put this out?
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Are there words you repeat to yourself?
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I mean, there's an experience that I go back to.
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You know, I think about my editor,
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Matthew Benjamin, and he really taught me some critical things about writing and the writing process.
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When I was putting together Lighter, my first nonfiction book, he had to tell me the hard truth.
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He was like, Diego, it's never going to be perfect.
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You know, when there's a process called, after putting in the manuscript, it's called copy editing.
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And you and a group of people will constantly read the book over
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and over and over again to get all the mistakes out, to make sure that there's a clear grammatical framework that the way
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that you use a semicolon in the first chapter is the way you use a semicolon in the 10th chapter.
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And he had to tell me, he was like, hey, there are still going to be mistakes after us reading this book dozens of times.
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And that gave me so much freedom.
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So now when I put something out, I know that one piece, one post is not going to make or break anything, anything.
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It's a long game of stamina where it will accumulate into something bigger over time.
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So if one thing fails, it doesn't matter at all.
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And if anything, when I try to, especially if I'm releasing an essay, I try to get it to 80%.
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If it feels like it's 80 % of the way there, it's good enough.
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And if it's good enough and people really resonate with it, then maybe that can become a chapter in a future book like
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that you've had a lot of incredible things happen in life i love
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that you share that online and i think
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that gratitudes can be really hard even when you've had a lot of success
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and you have another line i love
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which is one of the healthiest habits to learn being grateful
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for the little things what do you do to be grateful because i know so many really rich people that are unhappy.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I try to not forget about the basics.
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Like one of my favorite, favorite things is good quality water.
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And my wife and I live in a place where there's only like 2 ,000 people that live in the town.
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There's acres between neighbors.
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We live in the woods and we have a well.
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And that well that gives water to us is one of the things
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that I'm most grateful for in life
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and it seems some it seems like something so simple
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but like going out to like walk in the woods
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and enjoy the sunlight like hitting your face um
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and just having moments around the table where you can really
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like talking to my mom talking to my dad having my brother
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and sister there like these are such key people in my life
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that the simple conversations are so nourishing with them
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so there are all these things where like yeah you can stay in a million five -star hotels, but who's going to bring you the biggest laughter in your life?
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It's probably your dad saying something really silly, you know?
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So you got to, you can't, you have to really ground yourself.
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in the simple things yeah so you ground yourself in the simple
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but then also you have like a big purpose to life
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and i think you know i try to think similarly like
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our goal here can get overwhelming at times like we want
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to try to make a material stake on the world
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while also realizing that at some point like we'll die
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and nobody will have cared really
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so it's like how can you hold both those things at once um
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but what do you say to people who are like what is my purpose you know I want to do something bigger.
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Yeah.
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What would you say to that person?
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I think your purpose is really going to be wherever your talent and your intuition intersect.
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So I think a lot of people, they're really focused on improving whatever it is that they're not good at.
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And that's really important in your personal development.
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But then when it comes to like, what am I going to give to the world?
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How do I make big impact?
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you're actually going to focus on improving whatever you're already good at
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when you can really double down on what you're good at you're going to be indispensable
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and you're going to be able to then scale that
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and give it to more and more people
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and i think that's that's the key key sort of recipe to to success is like i'm good at this
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but like can i get better at it
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so you know i get a lot of beautiful messages
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and i also get a lot of questions
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but the two most common things that i get are how do you let go
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and also should i break up with my boyfriend
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and also i don't know i don't know your boyfriend i have no idea
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so like how can i even opine on that
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so how do you answer a question of how do you
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let go how do you let go is a good one
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um people want a straightforward like five steps this is how
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you let go make it as easy for me as possible but that is the sickness of modern day society, where if you look at your phone,
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every single app on your phone is trying to make your life easier.
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How can I get this food to you faster?
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How can I give you a ride from, you know, point X to point Z?
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How can I just make, simplify your life as much as possible?
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And I think that has insidiously permeated our minds where we want a five -star life.
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We want a five -star relationship that has nothing wrong with it.
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We want situations that are almost identical to a romantic comedy where it's like,
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okay, we have one fight and then we're happily ever after.
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Life is not like that.
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It's never going to be like that.
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Life is going to be a constant stream of ups and downs.
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And our job is not to run away from that.
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Our job is to build the inner resilience and the inner clarity so that we can solve those issues when they arise.
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It's a very good point.
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It is such a tough realization to realize there's no making
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it you know like oh you've made it you're like i don't know uh i don't think
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that ever happens actually it just keeps getting more
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and more difficult you've talked a lot about um how to change your life
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and how to get on the right trajectory in your books
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and and i'm curious if there is no making it in life
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but there is like finding your purpose
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or there is getting on the right path how do you change a life
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that you really don't like right now if somebody's listening
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and they're like stuck in a job they hate with a relationship that's terrible maybe friends
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that they don't really feel close to what do you do to change a life you have to be okay with
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profoundly listening to your intuition
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because it's going to be pointing you somewhere your intuition is
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not something that's like oh turn right turn left it your intuition appears
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when it's time to open a new chapter
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and you have to have the strength to actually follow through so your intuition is, it's not going to lead you into danger,
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but it is going to challenge you.
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It's going to challenge you to close a chapter, open up a new one, you know, say no to the old job,
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start making new friends that are more aligned to how you actually want to show up in life, or just make different decisions about your relationships.
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And it's hard work to listen to your intuition.
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Yeah, it's funny.
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I saw this like video that keeps going around on the internet And it's like, you know, this year, I don't pray for strength, Lord.
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Like, I pray for happiness, peace, and I've got enough learnings.
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No more learnings, please.
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And I get it because the self -growth thing is really hard.
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It's really hard, yeah.
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And you don't want to, like, constantly push yourself to more and more growth.
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Like, it's a challenge that a lot of people face where they are constantly looking at themselves as a project.
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Like, what else can I do to change myself? usually some
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of the biggest medicine you can give yourself is just self -acceptance.
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Like, I have come through such a long journey to be here right now.
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Just accept yourself where you are and realize that you've already taken these giant steps to overcome so many difficulties, and you should celebrate that.
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How do you balance that with...
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The advice of like getting 1 % better every day or, you know, becoming a better person or becoming the fully realized version of yourself.
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You need to have a spacious mind.
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That's a sign of intelligence.
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It's you being able to like hold these two seemingly opposing things and just realize that like, okay, I am an imperfect person and I'm always going to be imperfect.
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But that does not stop me from focusing in on two
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or three habits that I should develop because that would help me and help others.
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Love that statement, a spacious mind.
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A spacious mind is so important.
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And I think we get stuck in black and white thinking, and we don't see the gray.
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We don't see the subtlety.
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And usually that middle path is where you're going to find your answer.
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What do you think are some of the things that stop us the most from having a spacious mind?
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Attachment, clinging.
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I think attachment immediately creates stress.
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Attachment will immediately narrow down your view of possibilities, and it's going to make you stiff as a board
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and really what's life going to ask of you it's going to ask for you to be adaptable flexible loose
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so that you can flow and are there other things you don't do in life like
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like are you on social media all the time are you
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scrolling are you watching television shows are really particular about it like yeah are there things
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that you cut out of your life
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because you've realized they take up space in this mind
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that you want to preserve it's more so i add in what's important
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and I make sure to follow through on it
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so I meditate two hours a day every day I've been doing
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that since 2015 started meditating in 2012 but then 2015
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when it was when I started meditating daily
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and two hours straight to one hour in the morning one hour
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and so right before we started chatting I was meditating for an hour and um
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and then at some point tonight on the plane back to mass I'm going to meditate another hour um
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but I do
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that every day no matter what no matter what you know without fail wherever i am in the world um
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and that to me is like that's the primary way
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that i take care of myself i make sure
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that i'm you know essentially cleaning the mind out in the morning cleaning it out in the evening
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because that's what you do
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when you observe the truth that's happening within the framework of the body is
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that you're tuning yourself up to the truth of the universe
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which is the truth of change and change is the exact opposite of attachment
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so i'm literally training my mind to embrace change to loosen up so that i'm not
410
trapped by the attachment and then eventually like if you
411
if you stay still in a river that's always flowing you're gonna get knocked down
412
so i'd rather embrace change than you know be still
413
but those two hours a day are fundamental i make sure
414
to walk make sure to you know strengthen my body
415
and then there's nothing wrong with watching a little bit of reality tv at night what about what does that look like?
416
Like when you go to meditate, you do it anywhere, you listen to something, you're just silent.
417
Yeah.
418
At this point, um, it's just like 90 % of the time is totally silent.
419
Sometimes I listen to some chantings from my teacher, but it's, um, you know, we, I've meditated probably like 14 ,000 hours,
420
um, which is a lot of time.
421
I actually, this, this year when I finished the 60 day retreat, I looked at my, the course sort of, um, all the courses that I've sat,
422
and I've realized that if I take all the retreats that I've sat,
423
I've spent more than a year of my life in silent retreats.
424
So not all at the same time, but when you put them all together, and that's been my time to cultivate myself.
425
I think that's been key to the success of my marriage, the success of the relationship between me and my parents, to writing more books to just showing up in a way
426
that feels good you know like putting putting actions down
427
that I'm not remorseful about and um I can't take
428
that away from myself when people ask me like how can you put
429
so much time into meditating I'm like it's a better investment than the S &P 500 like it's it's a
430
and it's an investment that gives massive returns
431
so why would I take something away from myself
432
that helps me be the best version of myself so true
433
so funny sometimes we have a saying here which is like
434
that worked so well so we stopped doing it you know
435
and i think that's meditation for me i'm like
436
when i get into a state where i'm rocking
437
and it's been weeks and i'm meditating continuously i'm like this works great i'll stop yeah
438
and so yeah that's really interesting
439
but then think about it it's better to just let the the benefits of it compound
440
and i've seen that you know going from those first few 10 -day meditation retreats
441
that were so difficult like
442
so challenging to be constantly with your emotions to watch everything in your mind arise
443
and pass away to feel all the tough feelings and then in the 60 -day retreat that i set this year, I saw all the work that I did before,
444
and that retreat was so calm.
445
But because it was so calm, it was way deeper than anything else that I've experienced.
446
And that would have been impossible without that previous work.
447
This is a little crazy,
448
but what about all the people that use mushrooms or ayahuasca or stuff to do these sort of retreats or states?
449
Yeah.
450
I don't opt into that.
451
Just cold turkey.
452
No, no. I mean, if you have the breath and you have the body, you have total access to all the wisdom in the universe.
453
So to me, I'd rather be able to observe reality as it is and accept that reality over and over again.
454
And then through that process, the mind just gets ever more concentrated so that you can really, really deeply immerse yourself in that truth of change.
455
so I don't have a need to like take something external
456
and put it in my mouth you know that's that um
457
and I've tried psychedelics I've tried a bunch of different things
458
when I was younger and it's great I think you know for some people
459
that gives them tons of value for me I rather observe
460
reality as it is it's a beautiful statement actually um
461
so do you have like enlightened states when you meditate for
462
that long I have states of clarity like state like the word enlightenment is
463
so loaded you know it's like who like and whenever someone's like oh, I'm enlightened.
464
I usually look the other way.
465
I think you see a person by their actions and how kind and respectful they are to themselves and others. But yeah,
466
there are definitely moments of clarity where the retreats will start
467
with the objective of trying to maintain your awareness of your breath for a minute.
468
But then when you go to these longer 60 -day retreats, you could be aware of your breath for 30 minutes perfectly, an hour perfectly, two, three hours perfectly,
469
where and you become so immersed in that that
470
that object you absorb you get absorbed into that object
471
and there is there are such profound states of clarity
472
and bliss but then you use all of that you know
473
that really strong nurtured mind to then turn it back into the body
474
and let you you know you're basically examining like what is the truth like what is the ultimate truth
475
and the truth that you're looking at and feeling directly is everything is impermanent.
476
Everything that arises will ultimately pass away.
477
There is a dissatisfaction to life, especially if you attach yourself to everything.
478
And at the ultimate level, what is Diego?
479
Diego is a set of mental and physical phenomena that are interacting really, really rapidly.
480
So whenever I find myself getting stressed or getting too attached or getting, you know, really sort of bogged down by the mundane aspects of life.
481
I have to remind myself like, dude, you're not even real.
482
Chill out.
483
Yeah.
484
Yeah.
485
That's actually a really good practice.
486
I think there's like some fear in.
487
Yeah.
488
Ego dissolution.
489
Is that what that is?
490
What is that?
491
I get an actual visceral fear.
492
Yeah.
493
I feel you.
494
Yeah.
495
It's I mean, the ego, the ego loves dominating the mind and the ego is something that is worthwhile because it helps you survive.
496
And that's what human life used to be, is to be pure survival.
497
But then now we live in a civilization
498
that asks us to be more compassionate because it's through compassion that we have all these interactions that help build wealth,
499
that help build community, that help build good relationships.
500
So trying to live from a place of ego is going to keep you defensive over and over again.
501
Living from a place of compassion is going to create harmony in your life.
502
But to get there, you need to just let the ego evaporate and the ego is going to fight you.
503
And how does one like evaporate an ego?
504
How do you how do you even recognize when you're an ego?
505
How do you try to get rid of it?
506
And how do you operate from a better place?
507
Even if you don't meditate, you can still do practices that help you dissolve ego.
508
And the ego will shoot out lightning fast in the moments of impulsiveness.
509
So it goes back to what we were saying before, where the key aspect is slowing down.
510
It's like, okay, I feel the rush of my ego.
511
My ego wants me to respond as soon as possible.
512
It wants me to react in a way where I'm shutting someone else down
513
or shutting an emotion down or whatever it is
514
so instead let me pause let me recenter myself in compassion
515
let me honor the truth like i don't need to suppress anything at all
516
but let me just can i vocalize what i'm feeling without creating a mess that i need to clean up later
517
That's really interesting.
518
I think, do you find that successful people are more or less aware or have more or less ego?
519
I think a lot of successful people are driven by their past trauma.
520
And I found that even in myself, like I came from, you know, such a place of scarcity,
521
like watching my parents like fight and struggle with the rent over and over again for like, you know more than a decade like that was hard and
522
that created a big imprint in my mind
523
and something i'm personally working on now is just realizing like
524
this life is beautiful like i don't need to add more
525
things i don't need to like pick up another side quest
526
i don't need to like you know i'm writing is my primary enjoyment
527
and it's one of the ways that i get to serve in the world
528
and if you know i meet other people and
529
and you know great opportunities come about i need to make sure
530
that I'm really following through on them because my intuition says, yes, this will actually expand the impact and, you know, hopefully serve more people well.
531
But I don't need to follow every exciting path.
532
It's such a fascinating thing that happens almost the more success you have, the more options you get.
533
Yes.
534
And then the more miserable you become because you have too many options.
535
Yeah.
536
Saying yes to too many things is the path to burnout.
537
Yeah.
538
And so you really have to ask yourself a question.
539
I mean, you have a quote I love that says your intuition, your intuition will be ready to make a big move before your mind is.
540
And so with these ideas of these paths and all these yeses, how do you know whether something is your intuition or your ego that's telling you?
541
Oh, that's a good one.
542
That's a good one.
543
Your ego is snappy and it's loud and it's more mental.
544
It's like, you know, try and you can feel that energy of clinging like it really wants something.
545
Whereas intuition, especially for me, feels much more bodily.
546
It feels like it's coming from here as opposed to up here.
547
And the intuition feels like calm waves that are hitting the shore if you're standing in front of an ocean.
548
And they just calmly, repeatedly are pointing you to a particular direction.
549
Whereas the franticness of ego is like, you know, trying to dominate in every moment.
550
That's a good point.
551
When you think about where it is in the body, it really helps.
552
Like I I think my ego and a lot of my attachment comes from, like, I can feel it in my chest.
553
It usually makes me my, it's like my nervous energy right here.
554
Yeah.
555
And then when I have something that just feels great, it's in my belly.
556
Ah, that's so good.
557
You know, that feels nice.
558
But I'm so busy during the fucking day.
559
Yeah, yeah.
560
And I stop paying attention to it.
561
Yeah, no, and it's easy to get driven by something that's, like, just totally, you know, unproductive energy in the body.
562
You know, you said the word grab, so I got to tell you, when I went into that 60 -day retreat, so it was January 1st to March 3rd,
563
my strategy for the retreat was don't grab anything.
564
Like, don't, like, literally whatever story in the mind, whatever emotion that's rising, like, observe everything, but don't grab anything at all.
565
And it was so helpful to realize, you know, in the act of not grabbing anything, you saw that everything that arises passes away because we get scared by pain.
566
We get scared by heartache and we think it's going to last forever.
567
But really, it's just another thing that's going to change.
568
So that's kind of, that's interesting.
569
So that would basically be like something, a feeling, a quick decision or something comes to you.
570
And our natural interaction as a human is like, okay, I'm going to do something with this.
571
I'm going to react to it.
572
And instead, in your practice, you, you know, take a little bit of a breath or you kind of are pondering it, almost just looking at it, deciding, do I want to do anything?
573
Yeah, exactly.
574
And these are two ways of living where one is the internal dynamic of how do I keep progressing as an individual?
575
But then sometimes people get it confused.
576
They're like, oh, well, does that mean I can't have goals in life?
577
Does that mean that I can't accomplish big things?
578
No, if you focus on living virtuously
579
and not harming yourself and not harming other people and you try to do your best to provide service to the world,
580
then there's nothing wrong with having big goals and really realizing that this universe that we live in, like what I would mention earlier,
581
you know, what is this idea of Diego at the ultimate level?
582
It's nothing.
583
So this universe that we live in, you don't want to hurt yourself.
584
You don't want to hurt other people.
585
But then other than that, it's just a canvas.
586
You can paint on it however you want.
587
You can do whatever you want.
588
So if you want to dream big, like dream as big as possible.
589
Do you think that people should try to be happy?
590
I think that people should try to develop a sense of peace where they have a relationship with their emotions,
591
where they're not grabbing every emotion.
592
They're not trying to like constantly recently.
593
um get bogged down by the heaviness that's in the mind
594
so when you can have
595
that like internal resilience of okay i feel heavy in this moment
596
but i'm not going to let it dominate my actions i'm not going to let myself speak harshly other people
597
and actually i'm going to focus in this heavy moment i'm going to focus on being gentle to myself
598
and to others then you are able to build this like deep inner peace deep resilience
599
and happiness i think it's possible to be happy
600
but lot of people just confuse the word they think about
601
as a constant high a constant high of excitement a constant high of bliss a constant high of pleasure
602
but the beautiful moments in life are usually really simple
603
and small so i'd rather have a focus on inner peace
604
and a focus on happiness yeah it does feel like um we're all chasing something
605
and that you know often in entrepreneurship at least we obsess on not being happy
606
and like there's also like uh sort of a cult around
607
it yeah it's like no this is hard how much more castro it's difficult yeah
608
and i even found i have a saying which is choose your heart
609
and i have to like be careful hoft i have to be careful how often i say it
610
because i realize like oh am i really focusing on one aspect of life
611
and only paying attention to the difficulty and liking
612
that yeah you know and
613
so i guess my question for you is like how careful
614
do we have to be with the words we say to ourselves
615
and are there words you do
616
or do not say to yourself oh that's a good one
617
i really see the way the intentions in the mind support your external actions
618
and support how things land
619
so i'm actually really cautious with uh doubt really cautious with
620
negativity like i don't let it swim in the mind too heavily like
621
if i find the mind starting to like oh this isn't good
622
or this interview isn't going well or
623
or this interview you know like whatever it could be before
624
that i make sure to just like pause all
625
that negative self -talk i accept that there might be some nervousness there But then I started thinking to myself, actually, this is going to go really well.
626
And actually, it has gone well, even though it hasn't happened yet.
627
And having that framework just allows way better flow than, you know, that clunky sort of attachment.
628
Sometimes I struggle with, this is maybe little in some ways, but also important.
629
Have you ever been around a bunch of people
630
or a few people and they really like to talk negative all the time?
631
Oh, yeah.
632
And they want to talk about other people how do you how do you engage
633
when you're around people who want to be negative yeah i mean it's it's interesting
634
because when you stop when you opt out right
635
and you're still part of the conversation
636
but you're not like doubling down on talking trash about somebody
637
or just being negative
638
and you say your truth like actually i've never met them i have no idea what they're actually like
639
and i hear other people say things about them
640
but maybe they're you know who knows like you can't really trust people's judgment.
641
You take the gas out of the negativity.
642
I think a lot of times when we're interacting, like we're both coming in with different, you know, fields of emotion.
643
And if I double down on the energy that I'm feeling, instead of just adopting the energy of other people, not only is that going to preserve my peace,
644
but hopefully I'm welcoming you into my peace as well.
645
Yeah.
646
Yeah.
647
I think that part's hard.
648
Thankfully, it's really hard you know
649
because you also don't want to be a jerk you know
650
sometimes i'll be like i really don't like to talk about
651
people you know i just i don't it doesn't make me
652
feel good i don't like the way i feel afterwards yeah um
653
but people don't usually like that you know the response is almost negative
654
because we want to commiserate we want like you know
655
if i'm feeling angry or if i dislike someone i want you to join me in
656
that tension but why one why would i do that to myself And two, I don't know if that's necessarily true.
657
Like that's just one person's perspective.
658
And that doesn't, perspective is not equated to truth.
659
Yeah, it's a good point.
660
I have a guy that I've become friends with, Dave Ramsey, you know, who's on the internet.
661
And he has one thing that I really like that he says in his companies, which is they don't allow gossiping.
662
So the first time you get caught gossiping, like, oh, Sharon's doing X and X, they'll just say, hey, we don't do that at this company.
663
We don't gossip.
664
Right but if you get caught again you get fired wow like just carte blanche
665
and i almost didn't believe him when he said
666
because i'm like really that's incredible if you could actually do
667
that you know yeah but then i've been to his headquarters
668
and he like for instance they don't have credit cards zero
669
credit the entire place nobody has a credit card in it they have debit cards only
670
and so he really actually believes the things that he says
671
and then does them which is rare and humans um
672
but i liked that because i was like you know it's
673
so easy to fall so much of your book is about a beautiful way to say
674
that the actions that you take and the habits
675
that you have lead to the life that you live and what is in your mind.
676
Exactly.
677
and i think a lot of things we don't realize we're just we become this amoeba and everybody else's
678
you know engagement pattern and whatever we take on yeah and
679
and like your work is really helpful especially i like the daily instagrams
680
because it's just a reminder of like let's not do
681
that today right right now having a little moment to like slow down
682
and reflect like whether you agree
683
or disagree with what i'm saying i don't care about that but more what's more important is is it building self -awareness?
684
Like, am I taking note of like how my perception is affecting my actions?
685
That's a lot.
686
There's a lot of value in just that tiny moment of slowing down, especially when everything in society is basically trying to force you to act like a machine.
687
But if you act like a machine, you're going to be very impulsive.
688
You're going to burn out.
689
And if you want peace, you need to slow down.
690
And also if you want success, you got to slow down so you can actually focus your energy it's
691
so true i didn't bring my phone in here
692
which is a good practice but i i saw this uh this saying yesterday
693
and it was um an ai meat box
694
and uh basically it's like trending on twitter have you seen this no
695
and basically the idea is like when somebody
696
and i'm sure you felt this just sends you an ai response
697
and they're almost like you become this like meet transient yeah between one ai to another ai
698
and all of a sudden all we're doing is going back
699
and forth between the robots yeah you know yeah and
700
so it's interesting what you say this holding on your humanity seems
701
so important maybe even today more than ever i think one one like little you know theory about the future
702
that i have is that there is so much ai
703
that it's going to change our relationship with social media i think like already things are
704
so fake like whenever i open x like i'm just like this is none of it's real
705
and or whenever i see you know like uh things on instagram as well
706
or tiktok like there's so much ai
707
that it is it makes the interaction of like actually coming
708
together as a virtual community it's there's you have to like jump over
709
that to be able to actually interact with real human beings that it's going to create a new premium on human connection.
710
So I feel like the companies that support human connection and the actual like, you know, one of the best ideas that you can have for a business is like
711
buying a theater because that theater is going to be full.
712
Like I'm going to want to see my favorite singer sing.
713
I'm going to want to hear my favorite writer speak to make sure that they're real.
714
Yeah, it's actually a really good point.
715
And now there's some sort of visceral reaction too, that at least I feel, I'm curious if you do, but when I can tell that it is AI, it is like an instant turnoff.
716
And it's also this instant like, ah, sad.
717
Like if you had just not used the robot at all, this would have been better.
718
Totally.
719
I think a lot of AI, it's just re -scrambling what's happened in the past.
720
So it's hard to get innovation from that.
721
Whereas that's the beauty of the human mind.
722
The human mind is this canvas that's directly connected to the universe
723
and you can just allow a little bit of you know your intuition
724
and your values and the way you see your world to connect with
725
that energy of the universe
726
and it's like bam you come up with new solutions for old problems
727
and writing is like just it's just so critical
728
because it's one of the ways
729
that you practice clarifying your thoughts like writing is like really clear thinking
730
so you can't like take
731
that exercise away from yourself especially as like a you know a creator
732
that a lot of people are depending on i know yeah
733
it's a it's a new i saw like a creator
734
that i think highly of uh hank green got a lot
735
of crap on the internet for having some some may i yeah
736
and i thought he's you know i don't feel that that's fair
737
because i think he does incredible work um
738
but i think it's gonna happen yeah
739
and i also think like you know people make mistakes like
740
it's be cool about it like you can't expect someone to be imperfect
741
and we're literally all learning like this ai moment is hitting the world so hard and i'm hoping it
742
rebalances our relationship with social media so
743
that we use it a little bit less yeah
744
and we interact more in person um
745
but also like we're all figuring out like how can you actually make this useful for your business yeah
746
and read more books at this one
747
which i jokingly told you i obviously hated
748
because our entire team has been reading it marking it up
749
i know i told i told the colton one of our producers to just pull some of of his favorites
750
and this is what he gave me that's
751
so this is really useful for you that's incredible it's literally your entire i gotta take a picture of
752
that and just like put it out there yeah you actually do
753
but literally we went through and like you know even like highlights on the quotes
754
that we love but i was curious for you if you had to pick like
755
maybe one of your favorite readings from this.
756
Yeah.
757
Which one would it be?
758
Yeah, first off, I want to tell you a little bit about how the book is structured.
759
Like, this is a year -long journey where you're specifically trying to build self -awareness and inner peace.
760
It's called Journey, The Year That Changes Everything.
761
And to build self -awareness and inner peace, it's not going to happen overnight, right?
762
You're not going to Uber your way over there.
763
You're going to have to take action over action each day.
764
And I wanted to make sure that people could start it any time of the year.
765
So it's not time -based, it's element -based.
766
So it's based on fire, water, air, and earth.
767
And with fire, it's basically actualizing your goals,
768
having the energy to really pursue and make something that's a vision in your mind a real reality.
769
With water, you're doing your best to nourish yourself.
770
With air, you're having clarity and adaptability.
771
And earth is essentially balance um so i wanted to read something to you
772
that uh sort of now is that down
773
so fire helps you find the courage to break away from old patterns air invites you to slow down
774
and see yourself clearly earth reminds you to build a strong foundation through steady intentional actions
775
and water teaches you how to let go heal and move forward with greater peace I love that.
776
And which one if you had to, now I love this because I have read Daily Stoic for years and I read Chicken Soup for the Soul, you know, back in the day.
777
And I think there's really something special about choosing the words
778
that you start your day with as opposed to getting in flooded the words that start your day.
779
So if you had to choose, I want you to read yours and then I'll read you one of mine.
780
Yeah.
781
So five things that drain your energy.
782
saying yes too often, doubting your intuition, not resting enough, exhausting your nervous system.
783
Yeah, so that's been all five of those today.
784
So we're doing great.
785
So we didn't read that today.
786
We should have.
787
I loved this one.
788
This is Aaron 90.
789
May you believe in yourself enough to know that you are capable of extraordinary things.
790
And I think sometimes the, the, the real truths are a little cheesy, but they aren't when they are true.
791
Yeah.
792
Yeah.
793
And it's, it's important to like embrace the simplicity of it.
794
It's like, you don't need too much to push yourself in the right direction.
795
Like I think about it as, you know, those astronauts in space that like they use the tiniest amounts of air to like push themselves and like, you know, course adjust.
796
And I think that's really critical um i want to read
797
this piece uh fire five for you the people with the
798
best energy are the ones who never use the hurt they've gone through as an excuse to hurt others
799
i think that's key that's key like so much of the hurt
800
that we experience is just replicated from whatever we went through in the past
801
and that's the mark of a good person It's like a lot of people have had really challenging moments in their life, but can they take that,
802
learn from it, let it go so that they can produce harmony in their life instead of chaos?
803
It's such a good point.
804
Also, you know how I know my ego is bad right now?
805
My initial reaction is like, I should send that to a few fuckers.
806
That is immediately where it goes.
807
That's so, my God.
808
I need a meditation retreat.
809
But also, I do think it helps.
810
I don't really love being public on the internet all the
811
time you know there's like lots of stuff i'm like oh that's interesting i didn't see myself as a creator
812
or turning into all of this um but i think it teaches you
813
so many lessons about i mean can you imagine how miserable
814
and mean we would be
815
if every time somebody said something mean to you on the internet you let
816
that go back or
817
if you responded no i'd rather i'd rather let them exhaust
818
themselves you know like there's no why why feed into that
819
and that's one of the things that I've learned from being a creator is that I actually don't know anyone.
820
So I can't make assessments about them, especially quick ones that are based on very little information.
821
So I try to live with a mentality where I'm giving people the benefit of the doubt.
822
Well, I love the new book Journey, The Year That Changes Everything, 365 Daily Reflections to Build Self -Awareness and Peace.
823
Such a beautiful book.
824
Thank you for doing the hard work of making something really simple, which I think is incredibly difficult actually and only giving people what they need
825
and like not a thing more it's something I aspire to do too
826
so thank you for being here today
827
and writing I know writing books are hard yeah good ones thank you so much
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette vidéo contient 827 phrases et 10294 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 54:15. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 190 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 86 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
15 mots de la vidéo à retenir, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| intuition nom | /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/ | intuition |
| awareness nom | /əˈwɛɹ.nəs/ | conscience |
| retreat nom | /ɹɪˈtɹiːt/ | retraite |
| attachment nom | /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | attachement |
| emotion nom | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | émotion |
| arise verbe | /əˈɹaɪz/ | surgir, apparaitre |
| clarity nom | /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/ | clarté |
| silent adjectif | /ˈsaɪ̯lənt/ | silencieux, se taire |
| tension nom | /ˈtɛnʃən/ | tension |
| observe verbe | /əbˈzɜːv/ | respecter, observer |
| objective nom | /ɒbˈd͡ʒɛk.tɪv/ | objectif, but |
| habit nom | /ˈhæb.ɪt/ | habitude |
| creator nom | /kɹiːˈeɪ̯təː/ | créateur |
| interact verbe | /ɪn.təˈɹækt/ | interagir |
| pause nom | /pɔːz/ | pause |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| slow down verbe | ralentir, décélérer |
| go through verbe | traverser |
| go back verbe | rentrer, retourner |
| come up verbe | se montrer, sortir du bois |
| figure out verbe | cerner |
| open up verbe | ouvrir |
| put together verbe | assembler |
| take out verbe | supprimer, sortir |
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continu have/has been + -ing — une action commencée avant et toujours en cours | I've been meditating · have been working · I've been doing |
| Phrases conditionnelles if + proposition, will/would + verbe — une condition et son résultat | if the pain was deep you will have · if you responded no i'd rather |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | have read · I've done · you've ever written |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | are built · be obsessed · be focused |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 251 contractions et formes réduites, comme I'm, don't, you're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, tension /ˈtɛnʃən/, meditation /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, resilience /ɹɪˈzɪl.ɪ.əns/, difficulty /ˈdɪfɪkəlti/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme intuition, awareness, retreat.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.