Pratique du Shadowing: Stop Being Nice: The C.L.E.A.R. Method for Earning Respect - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
Création de la leçon...
1
If you want to be a terrible leader and have nobody listen to you, the biggest mistake you can make isn't saying the wrong thing.
2
It's refusing to tell people the truth.
3
Every time you soften the feedback and let someone walk out believing this looks good when it doesn't, you're just avoiding the hard conversation that you eventually need to have.
4
I'm going to give you a four -step framework that makes hard conversations easier, and I'll show you the one conversation almost every leader avoids,
5
even though it's the one their team or the people in their lives need the most.
6
I'm Cody Sanchez.
7
This is The Big Deal Podcast.
8
Let's get into it.
9
If this show has ever saved you from a bad deal, a bad day, do me one favor.
10
Hit subscribe.
11
It's free.
12
It takes two seconds and it's the single biggest thing that helps us book better guests and make this better for you.
13
All right, I want to start talking about this.
14
Call it the vanity test.
15
There's one test you need to run before giving anyone feedback
16
And there's no one who ran this vanity test better than Steve Jobs.
17
There's an incredible story, basically.
18
So Steve had this designer named Johnny Ive, and they were very close.
19
But Steve was kind of a maniac.
20
I remember having a conversation with him and was asking why he was a little harsh.
21
And he said, no, you just want people to like you.
22
I thought you held the work up as the most important.
23
And I was terribly cross because I knew he was right.
24
I think great leaders, they build up people by saying the hard thing.
25
Bad leaders, they're so obsessed with their image
26
and what people think about them that they don't realize why vanity is so dangerous.
27
It looks like kindness, and it's not.
28
The second thing I've realized is soft feedback is the cool option, actually.
29
So every time you soften the truth, I want you to think that you buy yourself a few seconds of comfort, but you cost someone else weeks
30
or months of improvement like who are you to make
31
that decision don't you want to be the type of leader who people leave
32
their time with them and say god i learned so much
33
that person made me better as opposed to like yeah that's pretty good boss kind of liked him he's fine
34
so i was reading about bill gates the other day
35
and he famously loved conflict he believed in doing these really aggressive one -on -ones with people
36
that would make other employees cringe and it was how he communicated
37
but he believed
38
that it was never good enough in anything you could almost do you could always do more
39
and so he actually used to push employees
40
so hard in their one -on -ones
41
that they would leave feeling like they got a workout they
42
famously said he even used to drive around the parking lot
43
and check and see if employees were in on the weekend by memorizing their license plates
44
and then following up
45
and having a one -on -one with them on monday about why they weren't there now i'm not saying
46
that works in every job or company
47
but it tells you what the crazy ones do there's this chick kim scott
48
and she leads teams at google
49
and apple she actually wrote this book called radical candor really big book she calls this ruinous empathy it's
50
when you care so much about avoiding an uncomfortable conversation
51
that you never say what needs to be said you know
52
what's crazy though is most people actually do this like imagine
53
for a second someone makes the same mistake three meetings in a row with you.
54
It's not the first time.
55
You never told them.
56
They walk into a performance review later thinking they're doing great, only to find out you've been mad at them for months.
57
You've been unhappy for months.
58
You haven't thought they were performing for months.
59
So every conversation you avoid is like you stealing from their future.
60
It gets more expensive for them and for you.
61
The most respectful thing you can do for a competent adult is treat them like one.
62
They can handle the truth or you guys shouldn't be working together.
63
What isn't helpful is them finding out you knew and said nothing.
64
Steve Jobs was effective because he was tough.
65
Plenty of tough bosses build terrible companies, but he was effective because everyone knew the work came first.
66
That's what you're copying.
67
You're not throwing a temper tantrum.
68
You're not being mean to people to be mean to people.
69
You're holding the standard or what we call holding the line.
70
And if you're not going to be a standard bearer, you shouldn't be in charge.
71
so here's the framework that i use
72
so c is for care you start with why you're giving
73
the feedback i might say something like i want to give you feedback because i think you're capable of more
74
and the reason you do
75
that is you're not softening the message you're explaining why you're
76
about to tell them something hard i might even say something like
77
i'm telling you this
78
because i think you're capable of more do you want to
79
hear feedback about an area where I think you need some improvement.
80
I also really like that because it's allowing them to give you the option to give tough feedback.
81
L is for lead with the work.
82
I don't ever attack the person.
83
I don't say, you're bad at presentations.
84
Who's that helping?
85
I say, hmm, this presentation was not good.
86
Here's why.
87
Here's how I define good.
88
Help fix the work instead of labeling the person as incompetent unless you don't want them to make any change whatsoever.
89
You guys should know this by dating people too.
90
e is for being exact do not be vague don't say do better that's
91
so useless nobody can act on it properly i would say
92
instead the report is due tuesday you gave it to me
93
thursday do you see why that's an issue you didn't keep
94
your word with me a is ask after the feedback stop talking shut up
95
and hand them a mic ask what am i missing what don't i understand
96
and then listen i like to lot of times say what am i totally wrong on this is showing
97
that you're just as open to feedback but you have to actually listen
98
when you do this part like half the time you learn context
99
that might change the picture the other half they talk their own way to the fix
100
and then they own it and finally r is reset
101
and know what happens next
102
so don't leave people wondering tell them exactly what success looks like
103
so next time send me the draft on tuesday
104
or flag something you're stuck on or if you're going to be late
105
so we can work through it
106
so care lead exact ask reset that's how to be clear
107
if you run that you're going to watch what happens
108
and be shocked i've learned
109
that great communication will change your relationship forever will change your partnership forever will make you more money
110
and will make you better in business i've learned
111
that great employees want clarity great friends
112
and partners want clarity weak ones want comfort
113
and I don't want you to confuse the two now in
114
the beginning of this they will probably be a little miffed
115
at the feedback I think feedback is really hard in the beginning
116
but as you give more and more of it
117
and you explain the clear process for it people understand it
118
and they want it because they feel like you are clear
119
and you care and so
120
if you remember the two c's you'll get really far another little note is
121
that um feedback gets really hard
122
when it isn't in person usually you're dealing with a whole team right
123
or you're dealing with a bunch of people try to be in person
124
when you do this often i think in the beginning you
125
want to try to give tough feedback in private until you've created a culture where everybody's
126
so used to feedback that giving it in public isn't
127
that big of a deal there's this guy ben horowitz he's one of the co -founders of injuries
128
and horowitz huge software company but he also started tech companies previously
129
and he explicitly says that the standard management advice of like how you're supposed to give feedback
130
which is called the sandwich
131
which is praise criticism praise trains employees to distrust to distrust praise
132
and dread criticism his rule is like no baby give it
133
to me straight with specifics don't wrap it in compliments he likes to do it in private
134
but he fired his best friend as the CEO of loud cloud
135
and said in his book I had to say the words
136
I'm firing you to the person who is the best man at my wedding
137
and if you can't do
138
that don't be a CEO what a hard ass Jensen Wong
139
of Nvidia famously doesn't do one -on -ones with any of his employees thinks
140
that giving private feedback is a disservice to the entire team mandates all different difficult conversations in person
141
and maybe that's why he's one of the richest men in the world in the fastest period.
142
Now, I already told you about Jensen Wang publicly critiquing his execs, but let me break down exactly what this looked like.
143
He runs NVIDIA.
144
He has 60 direct reports, 6 -0.
145
Most CEOs have 8 -10.
146
His reasoning is this idea of no one -on -ones.
147
Everything gets said in group meetings.
148
If he has feedback for a VP, he gives it in the room with all other VPs present.
149
Why?
150
If you think about this, he really thinks he's doing them solid.
151
He says feedback is a learning opportunity.
152
Why would I hoard it in a one -on -one when 40 other people could learn from watching?
153
Now it sounds brutal, but NVIDIA's employees stay 5x longer than industry average.
154
Turnover is 2%.
155
He calls it torturing them into greatness.
156
At Conturian Thinking, my company, I do the same thing.
157
I do a leadership meeting, which is now about 12, 10 or 12 leaders all around our boardroom.
158
And I also do a content leaders meeting.
159
Any feedback I have to give goes to those two groups as opposed to one -on -ones.
160
I do not do one -on -ones.
161
This is really important.
162
And if you think it's just dudes, talk about Kim Scott getting fired by Sheryl Sandberg for being too nice.
163
So Kim Scott gave a presentation to Google leadership.
164
It went well.
165
After Sandberg walked around and said, you said um a lot in there.
166
Scott brushed it off.
167
Sandberg pushed.
168
I know an amazing speech coach.
169
Google will pay for it.
170
Scott brushed it off again.
171
Sandberg stopped walking and looked at her and said, you are one of the smartest people I know, but um makes you sound stupid and I'm not going to let you sound stupid.
172
So Scott wrote radical candor about that moment.
173
Her frame caring personally means challenging directly.
174
And I think using words like stupid are really triggering for people.
175
And in a way, that's exactly what you want.
176
I call it the idiot index, which I think I stole from Elon Musk.
177
And so with my admin team, I'll say, did you run this idea past the idiot index?
178
And that is such a triggering thing for people.
179
They're like, does she call me an idiot?
180
Does that mean I'm an idiot?
181
But what I'm saying is only an idiot would do this.
182
So like, did we run it past an index?
183
Not you, but when you're looking at a bunch of options in front of you, did you go, imagine my dumbest friend is right here.
184
Is my really dumb friend going to make this decision that I always get annoyed at my dumb friend for making?
185
And this is really helpful because if you don't do this, you're failing your people.
186
Now, the next part, we talk about this, like the room you're afraid to call.
187
So often managers become human complaint boxes.
188
Like you don't wanna be stuck accidentally becoming a therapist, do you?
189
I know that I do not.
190
That is not my happy place at all.
191
I think there's a pattern here, right?
192
two people have a problem with talking to each other instead
193
of talking it out one person brings it to you the
194
leader right you see this in social circles too like pam
195
did this then the other one right nobody's talking to each other
196
but everybody's talking about each other
197
and the two people who actually have the problem they're not
198
talking at all this happened to me in my business recently
199
it's super annoying it's one of my biggest complaints in business
200
and i finally had to sit them in a room together and say, you're both adults, talk to each other, or stop complaining to me.
201
But you don't get to do both.
202
If you guys talk to each other and you can't work it out and you are doing it direct, then you can bring it to me.
203
But if you are not even having a conversation, I don't want to hear about it because all you're teaching me is
204
that you're not good enough or strong enough
205
or have enough confidence in order to fix this
206
and you just want to gossip and have drama
207
and i have no space for gossip in my life i know this is a little intense
208
and maybe you're like how am i going to do that
209
if i'm not in charge here's what i would do instead
210
i like to say what dave ramsey's rule is and he taught me from being at his headquarters
211
he says at my company we have a no gossip rule we just don't allow it
212
and so if anybody's gossiping or talking about anybody and they find out at Dave Ramsey, you get fired.
213
So I like to say something like
214
if I'm not the main main head dog leader and I can't be as tough as Cody is, I might say something like, you know what?
215
I have a rule this year for me.
216
I don't gossip.
217
I don't talk about other people when they're not in the room.
218
It's my 2026 rule.
219
And so I actually can't participate in this conversation.
220
It's just like one of the things I gave up this year.
221
Now, if we want to go talk to the person in person
222
and like work it out between the three of us
223
and have a constructive conversation i got you i will support you i'll be there
224
but i actually have a rule i just don't gossip right now i don't like how i feel afterwards
225
so i just stopped doing it i think most workplace drama exists
226
because people are having the wrong conversation with the wrong person
227
and not willing to say it to their face the rule is go direct to the source
228
if you have a problem with somebody who's the first person you should talk to them not me
229
and not the group chat also i think sometimes people are just looking for somebody to hold a line
230
so like if you do that
231
and you stop being everybody's emotional middleman the team is going
232
to start handling its own friction instead of laundering it through
233
you i actually saw this the other week my president in
234
a leadership meeting just brought it up he said i had
235
to deal with a bunch of annoying drama this week you
236
know i didn't appreciate having to deal with this issue just one of the leaders had a little flame out
237
and he's like and i didn't appreciate the fact
238
that like i had to mediate two of your uh direct reports this should really be your issue
239
and he's like anybody have anything they want to say about that
240
so it's just out in the open as opposed to this thing it's in the dms that's behind the scenes
241
and in fact even today i was like listen i can
242
feel from both of your teams there's a lot of frustrations
243
i really wish you two could feel like you're on the same team both sides are frustrated with each other
244
and instead of being a team heads down figuring it out you guys are going back and forth
245
and back channeling it's honestly kind of exhausting why can't you
246
both just say okay can you do this better what can I do better okay I'll do
247
that and then have a conversation to ask
248
if you two are nailing it I'm like you're all very competent
249
and lord we'd get more done if you worked this way
250
he kind of gave me some feedback what are we not doing
251
that can be improved who's saying what
252
and said no no we're not playing the he said she
253
said game i want to make sure you guys are really working together can you do
254
that in a team everybody should be vibing on what we
255
need to solve this is not rocket science people have done way harder things than this
256
and you know eventually he's like fair enough okay you know
257
we'll work on this i hear you i'll do my part
258
i said great i will always hear your frustrations as long
259
as you guys are actually airing them out to each other because the truth is
260
you will actually have a team that is so much higher functioning
261
if you push them to have crucial conversations to the point
262
of i literally have handed people before the book radical candor
263
or crucial conversations and
264
so don't feel like leadership is about being liked it's about
265
making your people better i think in the future you should aspire to be the type of leader where other people say, yeah, they're really tough, but man,
266
am I better because of it.
267
It's not just that I like that person.
268
I like who I am because of them.
269
Because of the way that I have learned watching them, I am more valuable today.
270
Don't you want to be respected, not just liked?
271
I know I do.
272
Soft feedback feels kind, but honest feedback will actually build your employees up.
273
Every manager has to choose between comfort or growth.
274
So remember clear.
275
And this week, have that conversation.
276
Do the difficult convo.
277
Talk to the person that feels off.
278
Maybe get rid of the person on your team that will not do the thing you know they need to do.
279
And if this is you in your personal life, do the exact same thing.
280
Half of the stuff that works in business works even better in your personal life.
281
There's just no guardrails to how you should have gossipy, hard conversations in your personal life too.
282
And if you want us to help you become a better leader, if you want us to help you have these kind of conversations and figure out where you are choosing comfort over growth,
283
maybe you should join the boardroom where we help owners do this every single week.
284
Can you tell me if this episode was useful and what is the thing that is holding you back from growth?
📺 Même chaîne
B21
How To Speak Like A Top 1% CEO
Business EnglishWorking Adults
B26
You Don't Need Capital
Business EnglishWorking Adults
C11
How To Set Goals For 2026 That You’ll Actually Follow Through On
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
How to Speak Better Than 99% of People (5 Frameworks)
Business EnglishInterview EnglishUniversity Students
B27
5 Habits Constantly Draining Your Energy | Yung Pueblo
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C11
How Discipline Makes You Attractive? | NEUROSCIENTIST
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B29
Stop Rambling: The 3-2-1 Speaking Trick That Makes You Sound Like A CEO
Business EnglishInterview EnglishUniversity Students
C117
Stop Over-Explaining: The 3 S’s Rule For Projecting Authority
Business EnglishWorking Adults
B2How to Think Like the 1% Elite | Dr K
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
✨ Vidéo recommandée
B21
117 phrases
Are you a giver or taker?
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2483 phrases
The Mindset That Holds Smart People Back From Success
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
351 phrases
Directness with Respect: How to Make the Hard Conversations Easy
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
314 phrases
Simon Sinek and Trevor Noah on the Quality More Leaders Need To Talk About | Full Conversation
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
123 phrases
How To Win Friends & Influence People (in 20 Minutes)
Business EnglishWorking Adults
B23
25 phrases
Giving Difficult Feedback to a Colleague
American AccentBusiness EnglishWorking Adults
B21
197 phrases
Being the "BOLD" Guy is Insanely Simple
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
558 phrases
148. How to Enter Your ~Discipline Era~ and Start Respecting Your Time to Change Your Life
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
25 phrases
How To Keep Your Top Performing Employees | Jack Welch
Business EnglishWorking Adults
B21
52 phrases
The Most Effective Way to Learn as a Leader (And Break Through Faster)
Business EnglishWorking Adults
B21
203 phrases
THIS is How To Be Direct Without Hurting People | Jefferson Fisher
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale s’appuie sur la vidéo « Stop Being Nice: The C.L.E.A.R. Method for Earning Respect ». Cette vidéo contient 284 phrases et 3293 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 16:40. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 198 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 87 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
15 mots de la vidéo à retenir, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| feedback nom | /ˈfiːdˌbæk/ | évaluation, réaction |
| gossip nom | /ˈɡɑsɪp/ | commérage, ragot |
| comfort nom | /ˈkʌm.fət/ | confort |
| radical nom | /ˈɹædɪkəl/ | racine |
| praise verbe | /pɹeɪz/ | louer, féliciter |
| oppose verbe | /əˈpoʊz/ | s'opposer à |
| vanity nom | /ˈvænəti/ | vanité |
| helpful adjectif | /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ | utile, serviable |
| steal verbe | /stiːl/ | voler |
| complaint nom | /kəmˈpleɪnt/ | plainte, réclamation |
| crucial adjectif | /ˈkɹuː.ʃəl/ | crucial |
| trigger nom | /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/ | détente, gâchette |
| brush nom | /bɹʌʃ/ | brosse |
| frustration nom | /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/ | frustration |
| competent adjectif | /ˈkɒmpətənt/ | compétent |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| find out verbe | découvrir, savoir | |
| break down verbe | tomber en panne | |
| build up verbe | s'accumuler, s'entasser | |
| figure out verbe | cerner | |
| give up verbe | se rendre | |
| go back verbe | rentrer, retourner | |
| shut up | /ʃʌt ʌp/ | tais-toi! informal, taisez-vous! formal or plural |
| walk around verbe | déambuler |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- You've been unhappy for months.
- You haven't thought they were performing for months.
- They're like, does she call me an idiot?
- Does that mean I'm an idiot?
- Don't you want to be respected, not just liked?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| « Used to » used to + verbe — une habitude ou un état passé qui n’est plus vrai | used to push · used to drive · used to feedback |
| Phrases conditionnelles if + proposition, will/would + verbe — une condition et son résultat | if you remember the two c's you'll get |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | has ever saved · I've realized · you've been |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | be said · be shocked · is called |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 102 contractions et formes réduites, comme you're, don't, I'm. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: presentation /ˌpɹɛzn̩ˈteɪʃn̩/, crucial /ˈkɹuː.ʃəl/, brush /bɹʌʃ/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, partnership /ˈpɑɹtnɚʃɪp/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: participate /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, accidentally /ˌæk.sɪˈdɛnt(ə)li/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, whatsoever /ˌ(h)wʌtsoʊˈɛvɚ/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: helpful /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/, headquarters /ˈhɛdˌk(w)ɔɹ.tɚz/, harsh /ˈhɑɹʃ/, unhappy /ʌnˈhæpi/, whatsoever /ˌ(h)wʌtsoʊˈɛvɚ/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: torture /ˈtoɹt͡ʃɚ/, sandwich /ˈsæn(d).wɪd͡ʒ/, chick /t͡ʃɪk/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: radical /ˈɹædɪkəl/, praise /pɹeɪz/, presentation /ˌpɹɛzn̩ˈteɪʃn̩/, framework /ˈfɹeɪm.wɜːk/, crucial /ˈkɹuː.ʃəl/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme feedback, gossip, comfort.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.