Pratique du Shadowing: If you're under 30, please watch this video… - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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Did you know that most people regret their 20s?
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And isn't it so stressful that we know that we should make the most of this time, but we don't know how?
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That all changed when I read The Defining Decade.
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Our 20s are the defining decade of adulthood.
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80% of life's most defining moments take place by about age 35.
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Two thirds of lifetime wage growth happens during the first 10 years of a career.
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Female fertility peaks at 28.
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The brain caps off its last major growth spurt.
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When it comes to adult development, 30 is not the new 20.
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The Defining Decade is a New York Times bestseller written by Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist who specializes in 20-somethings.
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She has been working with young adults for over 25 years.
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So yes, longer than many of us have been living.
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When I first read this book in 2020 at age 21, one thing stuck with me most, and that is the female fertility stat.
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I knew that biologically speaking, women truly have a deadline.
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And not gonna lie, but the stress of my own clock constantly ticking away
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sometimes even makes me wish that I wasn't born a female.
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Now at age 26 with my 30s looming even closer, I need a refresher of Meg J's advice.
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Thus today I'm going to share with you a summary of the defining decade going over these topics.
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I will include some tidbits on ones I've been applying so far and obviously my point of view is from a female, but her advice is truly helpful to anyone.
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Your 20s are something to take seriously, just like this video, so make sure to lock in, turn on full screen, and let's go.
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Number one, stop comparing your life to social media.
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When we're in school, there's a formula to succeed.
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You get A's, decent college, whatever.
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After graduating and in our first job, there's no longer a clear light at the end of the tunnel.
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So without this blueprint, we turn to social media.
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Of course, strangers highlight reels that they curate and put on the internet.
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I should totally let that dictate how good or bad I feel about myself.
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But inevitably, you do and I do.
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That's just human nature, I guess.
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Meg J reassures readers that very few people actually reach their potential in their 20s, maybe not even in their 30s or 40s.
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So yes, you and I should stop comparing ourselves to the mega rich business owners or Instagram models.
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Now, this tip is an essential foundation for everything else in this video.
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Remember that comparing your life path to others is like trying to fit into a one size fits all shoe.
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It doesn't make sense because we're all unique.
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So stop focusing on impressing other people.
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Have conviction in what you are good at
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and what you want in life and most of all what you define as success.
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Two, build identity capital.
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You might think when it comes to career, it's most important to maximize your salary and prestige.
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While financial capital is essential, of course, the most important thing to consider when it comes to your work is building your identity capital.
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Identity capital is your collection of skills, relationships, and professional resources you build up over your life.
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Now that is why it's important to not take dead-end jobs.
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While you have the freedom and youth in your 20s, you should be pushing yourself to learn as much as possible.
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So make yourself uncomfortable.
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Put yourself out there.
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Go to that network event on Friday night instead of just watching Netflix.
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Especially if you're a new grad, it's important to have the good first job as a launching pad for your future opportunities.
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And that is partly the reason why I chose business management consulting.
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Number three, remember your unthought knowns.
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After just a few months of consulting though, I felt stuck.
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I wondered, is this really what the rest of my life will look like?
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Is grinding at a job I don't like what it means to make the most of my 20s?
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I was scared that doing the right thing was a thing that would make me miserable.
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I reflected and discovered what Jay calls unthought-knowns.
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This refers to truths and desires we know about ourselves, but suppressed due to fear or uncertainty.
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Think about your innermost deep dreams about who you want to be, but that are stifled by the stress of practicality.
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To prevent the regret of reaching your 30s and realizing
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that you were working in the most valuable years of your life for someone else's dream, take a step back and ask yourself what are your unthought-knowns.
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Take action in the direction of the future that you would want.
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So for me, consuming different content was really valuable because after I read Millionaire Fastlane, I discovered that creating and entrepreneurship just called to me.
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And thus I committed to YouTube.
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I did have a lot of internal conflict due to the sunk cost fallacy.
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And I did study engineering at Caltech after all.
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But I now realize that it's totally okay to change industries.
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It's always best to live for yourself.
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As long as you're still accumulating that identity capital, you'll be fine.
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But how do you even pursue your dreams if you work a busy corporate job and have to pay the bills?
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Well, the cool thing is that you can use your job to pay for your dream.
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One of the best decisions I made when I was only at 1,000 YouTube subscribers was to outsource my editing.
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I saved 10 to 20 hours per week.
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And now with AI, I can't imagine how much easier my life would have been.
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Number four, take marriage seriously earlier.
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You could say that it's luck that I met my now husband in 2020.
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And yes, that is part of it.
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But I recently realized an important factor that did help us significantly.
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And that was
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that we both aren't heavy social media consumers in 2025 i
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see youtube videos popping up all the time criticizing men
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or men criticizing women and talking about how the other side is toxic
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and then there are youtube videos analyzing tiktoks that show up
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and i watched a few because i was curious
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and holy crap the dating scene is already hard
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but you guys are making a lot worse okay not you guys like the audience
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but like the the the people preaching out there.
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And in my humble opinion, and seeing the long-term relationships of my friends, and of course my parents and Sean's parents,
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there is truly a lot of misleading information on social media about relationships.
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And at the same time, the loneliness epidemic is real, so young people are even more vulnerable to anyone who just yells loudly enough.
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Kind of like how I just did.
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Statistically, the age of marriage is being pushed later and later, and this is especially hard for women who do want children.
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Meg Jay explains in her book, and there are a lot of stories online about women who didn't think marriage was a priority to consider
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and then they're going about their careers, time is flying by, and then suddenly they're racing to find a partner.
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That could make them at risk for settling for someone.
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Biological clock's ticking, right?
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She wants to find a husband.
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Everything is optimized to like find Mr. Right.
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And as a result, she's kind of killed her own personality.
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Plus, many completely miss the window to get pregnant in their lifetime.
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And that is so sad.
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Meg Jay's philosophy is to think ahead and remember that your time is not unlimited.
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She says that as a therapist, she talks to many different people in their 30s
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and a common theme that these clients express to Jay is that they wish they thought about serious relationships and marriage sooner.
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Plus after age 25, the age of your marriage doesn't determine divorce.
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Whew, 26.
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So overall, don't be afraid of dating to marry sooner.
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And if someone hates how you wanna be committed already, then they're probably not the right person anyway.
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Surprisingly, however, couples who live together before getting married tend to have higher divorce rates.
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This is called the cohabitation effect.
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Boy, was that hard to say.
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Sometimes people stay with each other for convenience or to save rent.
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I live in New York.
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I get it.
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But the issue is that people feel more and more locked in
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and they may neglect to think about whether this person is really right for them.
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I moved in with my now husband, Sean, actually very early on, so I'm not really one to say.
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But I will mention that very early on in our relationship, like in the first few months, we knew that we would get married.
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Jay says it's important to get clear on how committed you are to someone before moving in together.
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You can even test the relationship in other ways, like international travel.
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Six, ask yourself why.
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Time is of the essence.
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So in anything you're spending your time on, ask yourself why.
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Watching TV, why?
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Is this really so I can relax or am I just trying to escape?
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Why am I scrolling so much?
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Am I just trying to avoid the discomfort of learning in the real world?
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Why did I get so upset that my manager gave me negative feedback?
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Why did my partner and I get into a conflict?
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And importantly, what can I control to make things better?
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Number seven, do the math.
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There are three things that you can apply this to.
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So that's finances, health, and your relationships.
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Work backwards from 30 to calculate how much you should be reasonably saving in order to meet your financial goals.
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I'm a big supporter of enjoying your 20s, but do so responsibly.
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About health, time travel in your head to look at yourself in five years.
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How mobile will you really be?
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Will you feel good about your body?
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What kind of body will your current actions create?
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Relationships, if you want kids for sure, then calculate backwards about how many years you need to nurture relationships and so on for marriage and all that stuff.
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Of course, don't map out everything because that is impossible.
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Things will always, always change, but it's important to have an idea instead of absolutely no plan because no plan means you're gonna probably regret it.
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If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail.
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The other thing you want to calculate to not regret is the proportion of time spent on each area of your life.
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So if you imagine yourself at age 30, would you really want 8% of your life to have been spent doom scrolling?
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Probably not, so adjust your daily time wisely.
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If you would like to learn from examples of people in their 20s living for themselves
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and how they did it despite the struggles, you can listen to my podcast, CEO of Life is on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.
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For example, my friend Megan got laid off twice, but she was amazing and turned her situation into her becoming a full-time content creator.
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And now she lives her best life with freedom.
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I'll leave you with this awesome quote from Meg Jay.
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The future isn't written in the stars.
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There are no guarantees.
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So claim your adulthood. Be intentional.
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Get to work.
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Pick your family.
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Do the math.
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Make your own certainty.
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Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do.
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You are deciding your life right now.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « If you're under 30, please watch this video… ». Cette vidéo contient 157 phrases et 1947 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 9:29. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 205 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 84 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| calculate verbe | /ˈkælkjʊleɪt/ | calculer |
| adulthood nom | âge adulte, majorité | |
| criticize verbe | /ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/ | critiquer |
| backward adjectif | /ˈbækwɚd/ | en arrière |
| fertility nom | /fɝˈtɪləti/ | fertilité |
| tick nom | /tɪk/ | tique |
| scroll nom | /skɹoʊl/ | rouleau (de papyrus ou de parchemin), papyrus |
| consult verbe | /ˈkɑnsʌlt/ | se concerter |
| mathematics nom | /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/ | mathématiques |
| accumulate verbe | /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/ | accumuler |
| bestseller nom | bestseller | |
| biologically adverbe | biologiquement | |
| blueprint nom | /ˈbluːˌpɹɪnt/ | cyanotype |
| cohabitation nom | /koʊhæbɪˈteɪʃən/ | cohabitation |
| curate nom | /ˈkjʊɹɪt/ | vicaire |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| lay off verbe | virer, licencier |
| pop up verbe | se pointer |
| show up verbe | apparaître, se montrer se pointer |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- When we're in school, there's a formula to succeed.
- Why am I scrolling so much?
- How mobile will you really be?
- Will you feel good about your body?
- What kind of body will your current actions create?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continu have/has been + -ing — une action commencée avant et toujours en cours | has been working · have been living · I've been applying |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | wasn't born · are stifled · being pushed |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | anyone who just · women who do · women who didn |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 33 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, you're, didn't. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: cohabitation /koʊhæbɪˈteɪʃən/, reassure /ˌɹi.əˈʃʊɹ/, refresher /ɹɪˈfɹɛʃɚ/, specialize /ˈspɛʃəˌlaɪz/, entrepreneurship /ˌɑn.tɹə.pɹəˈnɝ.ʃɪp/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: fertility /fɝˈtɪləti/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, accumulate /əˈkjuːmjʊˌleɪt/, cohabitation /koʊhæbɪˈteɪʃən/, entrepreneurship /ˌɑn.tɹə.pɹəˈnɝ.ʃɪp/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: cohabitation /koʊhæbɪˈteɪʃən/, humble /ˈhʌmbəl/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: nurture /ˈnɜːɹ.t͡ʃəɹ/, preach /pɹit͡ʃ/, prestige /pɹɛsˈtiːd͡ʒ/, psychologist /ˌsaɪˈkɑl.ə.d͡ʒɪst/, adjust /əˈd͡ʒʌst/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: criticize /ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/, scroll /skɹoʊl/, blueprint /ˈbluːˌpɹɪnt/, curate /ˈkjʊɹɪt/, nurture /ˈnɜːɹ.t͡ʃəɹ/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme calculate, adulthood, criticize.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.