शैडोइंग अभ्यास: If you're under 30, please watch this video… - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Did you know that most people regret their 20s?

And isn't it so stressful that we know that we should make the most of this time, but we don't know how?

That all changed when I read The Defining Decade.

Our 20s are the defining decade of adulthood.

80% of life's most defining moments take place by about age 35.

Two thirds of lifetime wage growth happens during the first 10 years of a career.

Female fertility peaks at 28.

The brain caps off its last major growth spurt.

When it comes to adult development, 30 is not the new 20.

The Defining Decade is a New York Times bestseller written by Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist who specializes in 20-somethings.

She has been working with young adults for over 25 years.

So yes, longer than many of us have been living.

When I first read this book in 2020 at age 21, one thing stuck with me most, and that is the female fertility stat.

I knew that biologically speaking, women truly have a deadline.

And not gonna lie, but the stress of my own clock constantly ticking away

sometimes even makes me wish that I wasn't born a female.

Now at age 26 with my 30s looming even closer, I need a refresher of Meg J's advice.

Thus today I'm going to share with you a summary of the defining decade going over these topics.

I will include some tidbits on ones I've been applying so far and obviously my point of view is from a female, but her advice is truly helpful to anyone.

Your 20s are something to take seriously, just like this video, so make sure to lock in, turn on full screen, and let's go.

Number one, stop comparing your life to social media.

When we're in school, there's a formula to succeed.

You get A's, decent college, whatever.

After graduating and in our first job, there's no longer a clear light at the end of the tunnel.

So without this blueprint, we turn to social media.

Of course, strangers highlight reels that they curate and put on the internet.

I should totally let that dictate how good or bad I feel about myself.

But inevitably, you do and I do.

That's just human nature, I guess.

Meg J reassures readers that very few people actually reach their potential in their 20s, maybe not even in their 30s or 40s.

So yes, you and I should stop comparing ourselves to the mega rich business owners or Instagram models.

Now, this tip is an essential foundation for everything else in this video.

Remember that comparing your life path to others is like trying to fit into a one size fits all shoe.

It doesn't make sense because we're all unique.

So stop focusing on impressing other people.

Have conviction in what you are good at

and what you want in life and most of all what you define as success.

Two, build identity capital.

You might think when it comes to career, it's most important to maximize your salary and prestige.

While financial capital is essential, of course, the most important thing to consider when it comes to your work is building your identity capital.

Identity capital is your collection of skills, relationships, and professional resources you build up over your life.

Now that is why it's important to not take dead-end jobs.

While you have the freedom and youth in your 20s, you should be pushing yourself to learn as much as possible.

So make yourself uncomfortable.

Put yourself out there.

Go to that network event on Friday night instead of just watching Netflix.

Especially if you're a new grad, it's important to have the good first job as a launching pad for your future opportunities.

And that is partly the reason why I chose business management consulting.

Number three, remember your unthought knowns.

After just a few months of consulting though, I felt stuck.

I wondered, is this really what the rest of my life will look like?

Is grinding at a job I don't like what it means to make the most of my 20s?

I was scared that doing the right thing was a thing that would make me miserable.

I reflected and discovered what Jay calls unthought-knowns.

This refers to truths and desires we know about ourselves, but suppressed due to fear or uncertainty.

Think about your innermost deep dreams about who you want to be, but that are stifled by the stress of practicality.

To prevent the regret of reaching your 30s and realizing

that you were working in the most valuable years of your life for someone else's dream, take a step back and ask yourself what are your unthought-knowns.

Take action in the direction of the future that you would want.

So for me, consuming different content was really valuable because after I read Millionaire Fastlane, I discovered that creating and entrepreneurship just called to me.

And thus I committed to YouTube.

I did have a lot of internal conflict due to the sunk cost fallacy.

And I did study engineering at Caltech after all.

But I now realize that it's totally okay to change industries.

It's always best to live for yourself.

As long as you're still accumulating that identity capital, you'll be fine.

But how do you even pursue your dreams if you work a busy corporate job and have to pay the bills?

Well, the cool thing is that you can use your job to pay for your dream.

One of the best decisions I made when I was only at 1,000 YouTube subscribers was to outsource my editing.

I saved 10 to 20 hours per week.

And now with AI, I can't imagine how much easier my life would have been.

Number four, take marriage seriously earlier.

You could say that it's luck that I met my now husband in 2020.

And yes, that is part of it.

But I recently realized an important factor that did help us significantly.

And that was

that we both aren't heavy social media consumers in 2025 i

see youtube videos popping up all the time criticizing men

or men criticizing women and talking about how the other side is toxic

and then there are youtube videos analyzing tiktoks that show up

and i watched a few because i was curious

and holy crap the dating scene is already hard

but you guys are making a lot worse okay not you guys like the audience

but like the the the people preaching out there.

And in my humble opinion, and seeing the long-term relationships of my friends, and of course my parents and Sean's parents,

there is truly a lot of misleading information on social media about relationships.

And at the same time, the loneliness epidemic is real, so young people are even more vulnerable to anyone who just yells loudly enough.

Kind of like how I just did.

Statistically, the age of marriage is being pushed later and later, and this is especially hard for women who do want children.

Meg Jay explains in her book, and there are a lot of stories online about women who didn't think marriage was a priority to consider

and then they're going about their careers, time is flying by, and then suddenly they're racing to find a partner.

That could make them at risk for settling for someone.

Biological clock's ticking, right?

She wants to find a husband.

Everything is optimized to like find Mr. Right.

And as a result, she's kind of killed her own personality.

Plus, many completely miss the window to get pregnant in their lifetime.

And that is so sad.

Meg Jay's philosophy is to think ahead and remember that your time is not unlimited.

100

She says that as a therapist, she talks to many different people in their 30s

101

and a common theme that these clients express to Jay is that they wish they thought about serious relationships and marriage sooner.

102

Plus after age 25, the age of your marriage doesn't determine divorce.

103

Whew, 26.

104

So overall, don't be afraid of dating to marry sooner.

105

And if someone hates how you wanna be committed already, then they're probably not the right person anyway.

106

Surprisingly, however, couples who live together before getting married tend to have higher divorce rates.

107

This is called the cohabitation effect.

108

Boy, was that hard to say.

109

Sometimes people stay with each other for convenience or to save rent.

110

I live in New York.

111

I get it.

112

But the issue is that people feel more and more locked in

113

and they may neglect to think about whether this person is really right for them.

114

I moved in with my now husband, Sean, actually very early on, so I'm not really one to say.

115

But I will mention that very early on in our relationship, like in the first few months, we knew that we would get married.

116

Jay says it's important to get clear on how committed you are to someone before moving in together.

117

You can even test the relationship in other ways, like international travel.

118

Six, ask yourself why.

119

Time is of the essence.

120

So in anything you're spending your time on, ask yourself why.

121

Watching TV, why?

122

Is this really so I can relax or am I just trying to escape?

123

Why am I scrolling so much?

124

Am I just trying to avoid the discomfort of learning in the real world?

125

Why did I get so upset that my manager gave me negative feedback?

126

Why did my partner and I get into a conflict?

127

And importantly, what can I control to make things better?

128

Number seven, do the math.

129

There are three things that you can apply this to.

130

So that's finances, health, and your relationships.

131

Work backwards from 30 to calculate how much you should be reasonably saving in order to meet your financial goals.

132

I'm a big supporter of enjoying your 20s, but do so responsibly.

133

About health, time travel in your head to look at yourself in five years.

134

How mobile will you really be?

135

Will you feel good about your body?

136

What kind of body will your current actions create?

137

Relationships, if you want kids for sure, then calculate backwards about how many years you need to nurture relationships and so on for marriage and all that stuff.

138

Of course, don't map out everything because that is impossible.

139

Things will always, always change, but it's important to have an idea instead of absolutely no plan because no plan means you're gonna probably regret it.

140

If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail.

141

The other thing you want to calculate to not regret is the proportion of time spent on each area of your life.

142

So if you imagine yourself at age 30, would you really want 8% of your life to have been spent doom scrolling?

143

Probably not, so adjust your daily time wisely.

144

If you would like to learn from examples of people in their 20s living for themselves

145

and how they did it despite the struggles, you can listen to my podcast, CEO of Life is on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.

146

For example, my friend Megan got laid off twice, but she was amazing and turned her situation into her becoming a full-time content creator.

147

And now she lives her best life with freedom.

148

I'll leave you with this awesome quote from Meg Jay.

149

The future isn't written in the stars.

150

There are no guarantees.

151

So claim your adulthood. Be intentional.

152

Get to work.

153

Pick your family.

154

Do the math.

155

Make your own certainty.

156

Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do.

157

You are deciding your life right now.

📺 उसी चैनल से

12 little luxuries that cost $0 | live rich without being rich

University StudentsBusiness English+2

✨ अनुशंसित वीडियो

918 वाक्य

Adulting in Our 30s - New Habits, Values, & Life Lessons We’ve Learned | AsianBossGirl Ep 291

University StudentsBusiness English+2

107 वाक्य

Daily shadowing day 38. Practice English free at website Estudyme #estudyme #shadowing #english

University StudentsBusiness English+2

299 वाक्य

this is why you can't enjoy anything anymore.

University StudentsBusiness English+2

146 वाक्य

Lessons I Learned From My 20s

University StudentsBusiness English+2

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग तकनीक: पूरी चरण-दर-चरण गाइड पढ़ें →

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: If you're under 30, please watch this video… - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

12 little luxuries that cost $0 | live rich without being rich

Adulting in Our 30s - New Habits, Values, & Life Lessons We’ve Learned | AsianBossGirl Ep 291

What Happens to Your Brain After 30 Days Without Social Media?

How to Build Unfair Advantage in your 20s

Asking 20 and 30 Year Olds About Their Biggest Regrets in Life

Why Millennials and Gen Z Are SO BURNED OUT 😩

12 Micro Habits That Will Improve Your Life in the Next 6 Months

20 Cheat Codes I Wish I Knew at 20

The Top 10 Worst Decisions You Can Make in Your 20s

[Vlog] Ep.55 - ADVICE TO MY YOUNGER SELF | The Quoc Khanh Show

Daily shadowing day 38. Practice English free at website Estudyme #estudyme #shadowing #english

this is why you can't enjoy anything anymore.

Lessons I Learned From My 20s

इस पाठ के बारे में

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?