Shadowing Practice: disappear and come back unrecognizable in 90 days (full blueprint) - Learn English Speaking with Video

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All right, hello and welcome to this training.

As you can see from the title, what we're going to be covering today is how to disappear for 90 days and come back someone else entirely.

And as you can see from the overview, what we're going to be talking about more specifically is first the overview itself, the strenuous life, rebuilding the self,

proof and identity, the review, near action items for the day or the next few days.

So without further ado, let's get started and talk about the estrenuous life.

So Theodore Roosevelt is remembered as one of those almost ridiculously energetic people.

You know, this larger than life guy who became president, boxed, hunted, explored, went to war,

spent weeks out in the wilderness and built this whole reputation around basically being tough

and active and almost impossible to wear out, which makes the beginning of his life actually kind of strange.

See, as a kid, Roosevelt was actually pretty sick.

He had severe asthma, and this was in the 1800s.

So obviously, they didn't have the treatments that we have today.

And he'd have these attacks where he basically couldn't breathe properly.

And sometimes in the middle of the night, his family would have to actually really sit with him trying to help him get enough air.

And there were nights where sleeping normally wasn't really even an option because lying down could make breathing harder.

So even something as basic as going to bed could turn into a whole ordeal.

And naturally, that started shaping his childhood.

He couldn't always do what other kids were doing.

And he spent a lot of time indoors and he read constantly.

He became fascinated by animals and natural history.

And he was very intelligent and curious, but physically he was weak and everybody around him basically knew it.

So you can imagine how easy it would have been for that to slowly become his whole identity.

I'm the sick kid.

I'm the intellectual kid.

My body is weak, my brain is strong, and this is just what I got.

But his father, Theodore Roosevelt Sr., didn't really accept that as the final answer.

And there's this famous moment from Roosevelt's childhood where his father basically sits him down and tells him, Theodore, you have the mind, but you don't have the body.

And then he tells him that without the help of the body, the mind can't go as far as it otherwise could.

So he tells him essentially you have to make your body and that's exactly what they tried to do.

His father had a small gym built inside their home and Roosevelt started training weights, gymnastics, eventually boxing, rowing, hiking,

just deliberately putting his body under more demand and trying to make it stronger.

And I want you to imagine this properly because I think when we hear the story now, knowing who Roosevelt eventually became,

we accidentally picture some insanely determined little kid who already had the personality of Theodore Roosevelt.

But that wasn't the case when he was a kid, right?

He didn't know the ending.

He didn't know what his future would look like.

He was just a sick kid really doing exercises in his house

because his father had given him this idea that his body could potentially become something different from what it currently was.

And it didn't really happen in a couple of weeks either, right?

He kept going.

And as he got older, he boxed, he rode, he spent more time outdoors,

he continued putting himself into physically demanding situations for years. And slowly, the person who had spent his childhood being limited by his

body became somebody who built a huge part of his adult life around physical effort.

And I think that's the part of Roosevelt's story that I find the most interesting, because if you only looked at him at 10 years old

and basically tried to predict the rest of his life from the evidence available at that moment, you'd probably get him completely wrong.

The evidence said sickly, physically limited, probably much better suited to books than physical adventure.

And yet when we remember Roosevelt now, we almost remember the opposite person.

So what happened in between those two versions of him.

Because obviously he didn't wake up one morning, look in the mirror and decide, okay, I'm Theodore Roosevelt now.

I'm this tough, unstoppable person.

He became that person gradually, right?

First, he started doing different things.

Those things changed what his body could do.

What his body could do then changed what he was willing to attempt.

And those experiences gave him new evidence about himself.

And eventually his idea of who he was had, who he was, had to really catch up.

And this is where Roosevelt's story became useful for us.

Because I think we usually imagine personal change happening in almost the exact opposite order.

We think we need to become confident so we can start acting confidently.

We need to become disciplined so we can finally stick to something.

We need to fix our mindset, get motivated, believe in ourselves, figure out who we are, and then we'll finally start behaving like the person we want to become.

But a lot of the time, you can start from the other end, right?

You do something your current identity doesn't fully support yet, and then you do it again and again, and you get a little better at it, and your circumstances start changing,

and you collect evidence, and after enough repetitions, you look back and you realize that the old description of yourself doesn't really make sense anymore.

And I think everybody has some version of this going on.

You have a story about who you are right now, and a huge part of that story comes from evidence that you've collected from your past.

So maybe you think you're inconsistent because you've started and stopped things for years.

Maybe you think you're bad with money because you've always been bad with money.

Maybe you think you can't really get in shape because you've tried five times already.

Maybe you're shy.

Maybe you're disorganized, lazy, anxious, terrible at relationships, terrible at business, whatever it is, whatever label you've assigned to yourself.

And the annoying part is, yes, you probably have evidence for it.

That's why these beliefs can feel so convincing.

If you've broken the last 20 promises you made to yourself, your brain isn't completely insane for you for expecting you to break number 21, right?

It's looking at what normally happens and making a prediction from it.

And the problem comes when you confuse that prediction with a permanent fact about yourself,

because the evidence tells you what you've repeatedly done up until now.

It doesn't really tell you what you're physically capable of doing tomorrow morning.

And those are two very different things.

And once you separate them, you suddenly have a lot more room to move.

And you don't have to become disciplined before you do the discipline thing tomorrow.

You can still think you're inconsistent and wake up when you said you would, right?

You can still feel like someone who hates exercise and still go train.

You can still feel socially awkward

and still start the conversation your identity doesn't have to approve the action before you're actually allowed to take it

and then something interesting happens if you keep doing

that right your brain has to deal with the new evidence

too you can't keep saying i'm somebody who never follows through

quite as comfortably after you've followed through for 30 straight days

or after 60 days it gets even harder after 90 days assuming you've actually done the work

you now have three months of your own behavior arguing against that old story.

And you'll probably still feel like the old person for a part of that period. And that's normal, right?

You've been rehearsing one version of yourself for years, and you've been rehearsing the new one for 12 days.

Of course, 12 days doesn't immediately erase 10 years.

So I wouldn't constantly check whether you feel transformed yet.

That's almost besides the point.

what matters much more is whether you're creating evidence in the right direction

because if you keep producing

that evidence for long enough eventually your identity starts changing almost

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as a consequence of what you've repeatedly proven to yourself

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and that's why I like 90 days for this it's long enough

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that you can actually change something meaningful but it's also short enough

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that you can see the whole thing in front of you

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you're not saying from now on I'm going to be perfect for the rest of my life.

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That's very abstract.

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You're saying for the next three months, I'm going to deliberately live in a way that produces evidence for the person I want to become.

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And then I'm going to see who I am on the other side.

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And think about it almost like an experiment.

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What happens if you stop reinforcing the same version of yourself for 90 days?

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What happens if your mornings change, your environment changes, your body changes,

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the people you listen to change the work you do changes and the promises you make to yourself

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actually start getting kept that's what we're going to build throughout the rest of this training

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and i want to make it practical because become a new person sounds cool and inspiring

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and means absolutely nothing unless we can turn it into things you can actually do on a tuesday morning

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when you slept badly and you don't feel like doing anything and you're not particularly motivated so

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So let's talk about rebuilding the self.

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So disappearing for 90 days sounds pretty cool, but disappearing itself doesn't really change anything, right?

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You could disappear for three months, sit around doing exactly what you're doing now, and come back basically identical, except now you're also socially isolated.

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So the useful part is what you repeatedly do while you're gone.

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And there's actually an order to this that makes the whole thing a bit easier.

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First, you change some of the conditions around you.

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Then you make a few important behaviors easier to repeat.

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And as you repeat those behaviors, your ability starts changing.

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And once your ability and behavior change, you start collecting different evidence about yourself.

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That's the sequence we're after.

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So what usually happens instead is that somebody tries to change 20 things at once.

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New sleep schedule, new diet, new workout plan, five books a month, meditation, journaling, cold showers, three hours of deep work, no social media, no sugar, no dating, no fun.

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And for about four days, they do feel like they've become this completely new person.

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But then real life happens, right?

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They sleep badly one night or work gets busy

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or they miss half the routine and suddenly the whole thing feels broken

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because they expected themselves to be perfect in the first place, which is why I want your 90 days to be much simpler than that.

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We're looking for a few changes that actually matter and can survive contact with a normal life.

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So I'd start with the body because the body gives you some of the clearest feedback you can get.

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You put it under a demand, you recover, you come back, you do it again, and over time something changes.

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both mentally

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but also physically right you lift more you move better your

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conditioning improves maybe your body composition changes whatever your specific goal is there's usually something you can point to

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and say okay this is different now so choose a training rhythm

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that you can actually maintain for the next three months maybe

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that's four sessions a week maybe it's five maybe it's three

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because you're starting from zero maybe it's two and two is already a big shift if you're not working out at all.

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So I don't really care about the exact number here.

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I care that the number is realistic enough

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that you can actually repeat it for 12 or 13 weeks instead of designing the perfect week and doing it once.

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And before you start, decide that what the minimum version looks like.

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And this is really important because eventually there's going to be a day where you're tired, you're busy, something happened, and the full version of the workout doesn't necessarily fit.

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That's okay, right?

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I don't want you negotiating with yourself for 45 minutes about whether today counts.

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Just decide now what the floor is and make it a floor, right?

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It's a minimum.

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So don't make the floor too big.

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Maybe the normal workout is 60 minutes and your floor is actually 25.

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Maybe your normal run is five miles and the floor is two.

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Maybe you normally do a full session at the gym and the minimum is a much shorter session at home.

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The point is that a bad day already has a plan before the bad day actually arrives.

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And then obviously you still have the normal version too.

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So on normal days, you do the full thing.

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The floor isn't there to become basically a clever way of lowering the standard every day.

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It's there so that one imperfect day doesn't automatically turn into three days

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and then a week and then one of those I'll start again on Monday situations.

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And that's what you're protecting really, continuity, because the change we're talking about throughout this training comes from repeated evidence.

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And the easiest way to stop collecting evidence is to keep restarting from zero every time life becomes slightly inconvenient.

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And once you've been going for a while, there's also something psychologically useful about keeping the chain alive.

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You've trained for five weeks, you've been showing up, now missing for no reason feels slightly more expensive because you're not just interrupting something,

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you're not just stopping or pausing, you're now interrupting something that already exists.

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It's like a whole chain of habits

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that you're now completely throwing in the trash by stopping for a longer period of time.

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And keep one or two measurements as well.

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Nothing obsessive, just enough that you can actually see whether anything is happening.

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Maybe it's your weight, maybe it's progress pictures, maybe it's a specific lift, maybe it's a running time or your steps,

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your resting heart rate, whatever actually makes sense for what you're doing.

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Because your mood is a terrible measurement of long-term change.

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You can look in the mirror on Monday and feel amazing

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and then look almost identical on Tuesday and somehow decide that you look terrible.

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So give yourself something that doesn't move around quite as much as your feelings do.

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And remember that while we're doing this, right, every measurable improvement becomes another receipt.

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Three months ago, you couldn't do this.

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Now, now you can.

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Three months ago, this was your weight.

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Now it's this.

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Three months ago, you couldn't keep a training schedule for longer than two weeks.

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Now you have 12 weeks on the board.

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And once you've decided what you want to do physically, I'd move to your environment.

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So this is where people make things unnecessarily hard for themselves.

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They decide they're going to become a completely different person

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while keeping every part of their life exactly the same and arranged around the old person with the old habits.

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So look around and actually ask a really simple question.

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What keeps making the behaviors I want harder than they need to be?

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And what makes the behaviors I don't want easier?

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If you want to train early and every morning you have to find your clothes, find your shoes, pack your bag and decide what workout you're doing,

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that's a lot of friction to something that's already hard for you, right?

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You're just adding more hard things on top.

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None of those things are huge individually, but they create more places where the behavior can die.

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So prepare some of it beforehand.

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Put the clothes out, have the workout written down, put the book where you actually read, keep the food you want to eat in the house.

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And if you want to write in the morning, leave the document ready, right?

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Again, none of this is revolutionary.

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That's almost why it works.

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You're making the next useful action slightly more obvious.

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And whenever possible, shrink the distance between you and the behavior as much as you can.

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So Roosevelt literally had the gym in his house.

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You probably don't need to go that far if you have the ability to do so, but the principle is useful.

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If the gym you hate driving to is 45 minutes away and there's a decent one five minutes away,

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maybe the five minute gym is the smarter choice for this season of your life.

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Basically, I want more of your day to work on defaults.

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Standardized habits, right?

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Because if every good decision requires a fresh burst of willpower, you're going to need a ridiculous amount of willpower.

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Better to make a bunch of decisions once and then let those decisions keep helping you.

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So if you're trying to eat differently, your default food matters as well.

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What do you buy every week?

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What's available when you're hungry and you don't feel like cooking?

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That's the version of you we're designing for, right?

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The tired version, the rushed version, the worst case scenario version, the version that doesn't want to think.

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And same with work.

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If the first thing you see when you open your computer is Slack, email, YouTube, and 12 browser tabs, like don't act shocked

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when 40 minutes disappear before you started the thing you said you wanted to do and mattered most to you.

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Your environment is constantly giving you suggestions on what the next step is.

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And your social environment is part of this too.

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And this doesn't mean you need to dramatically announce

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that you're cutting everybody off for 90 days and then come back wearing a black turtleneck with a new personality.

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You can relax, but you do need to notice what starts feeling normal around certain people.

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If everybody around you constantly complains about work, skips commitments, drinks every weekend,

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spends money that they don't have and treats every ambitious goal like you're taking life too seriously, that affects you.

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And it affects how you see yourself

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and it affects what you're willing to do because otherwise you might be thrown out of the group.

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Maybe subtly, but it does affect you.

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And the same thing happens in the other direction when you're around people who train, who build things, who keep promises and generally have a higher standard for themselves, who are more engaged with life.

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So for 90 days, be a little more intentional about whose voice gets the most airtime in your head.

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You don't have to hate anybody, right?

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You don't have to burn bridges.

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You can just spend a little more time around the inputs

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that support you and support where you're going

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and a little less time around the ones constantly pulling you back towards where you've already been.

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And once the environment is helping instead of fighting you, the next part is really just repetition.

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And I really want to keep this simple because your life doesn't need 27 new habits, right?

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pick the few behaviors if you actually repeated them for 90 days

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that would create the biggest difference in your life the few behaviors

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that if you actually repeated for 90 days would create the biggest difference in your life

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and so that's basically the big domino behaviors the ones

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that once you push basically make all the other ones irrelevant

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or not as relevant

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so maybe that's training maybe it's writing maybe it's doing focused work before checking your home phone Maybe it's reading, right?

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Maybe it's a fixed bedtime.

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Maybe it's keeping your calories where they need to be.

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Your list depends on what you're rebuilding, but each habit should have a clear reason for being there.

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So one useful filter is this.

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If I did this consistently for the next 90 days, would I care?

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Would something meaningful actually be different?

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If the answer is no, maybe you don't need it in the challenge, right?

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Just because a habit sounds healthy or productive doesn't mean it deserves a permanent spot in your day.

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Just because you heard it from some YouTuber doesn't mean that you need to make it a part of your day.

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I'd much rather you see do four important things

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that are important to you that make a difference to you very consistently than 12 things badly, right?

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Because again, the entire game here is evidence.

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We want enough clean repetitions that you can actually see a pattern forming.

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And then give those behaviors a place in your existing day.

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Attach them to something that already happens.

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After you make a coffee, you read, let's say, after you wake up, you train.

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Before you open your messages, you write.

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Before bed, you do your review.

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It doesn't have to be exactly those things, obviously, but the behavior needs somewhere to live because I'll do it sometime today.

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Sounds very flexible, but it's in that flexibility that a lot of the times you don't do the behavior.

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Most of the time, it just means the task follows you around all day,

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consuming cognitive ability, basically, while you keep finding slightly better reasons to do it later.

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And once the timing becomes familiar, you also reduce the amount of thinking that's required because you wake up and you already know what happens next.

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And there's less of

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that internal conversation where one part of you is trying to

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sell the other part on doing something you've supposedly already decided to do.

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And then you track it again, very simply, a note, a calendar, a spreadsheet, whatever you're actually going to use, just some kind of habit tracker, right?

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You just need a place where a completed day is a completed day and a missed day is a missed day.

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And you're honest with yourself about that.

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Don't turn the tracking system into some kind of a creativity

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exercise where you optimize a Notion database for six hours and you invent reasons why something basically counted.

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If you said 30 minutes and you did five, that's useful information, right?

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You don't need to shame yourself.

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Just record what actually happened.

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It's just a data point.

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And then after a few weeks, you can start seeing patterns that are almost impossible to see day by day.

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Maybe Monday is always good and Friday keeps falling apart, right?

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Maybe your evening habit keeps fading because your evenings aren't really predictable.

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Maybe you always train when your clothes are ready and you keep skipping when they're not.

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That's where the tracking starts teaching you how things actually work, how you actually work, right?

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And that's why it's so important for you to be honest with yourself.

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And the only way to be honest with yourself is to stop attaching shame to missing days

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or missing a habit here and there.

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Because as long as you're attaching shame to that, you're not going to be honest to yourself so that you can avoid the shame.

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But if you're not honest with yourself, you're not going to learn the lessons that you need in order to make this consistent.

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So this is also where something starts changing that I think gets missed in a lot of these conversations.

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You're not just becoming more consistent, right? you're becoming more capable as well.

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If you write every day for 90 days, you're going to have more writing experience than you had before.

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If you train for 90 days, your body can usually do more than it could do before.

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If you make sales calls every day, you're going to recognize situations you didn't recognize in week one.

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If you record videos, the camera eventually stops feeling quite as strange.

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And because your ability goes up, some of these behaviors start costing less.

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The first week might require a lot of conscious effort because everything is new.

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But by week eight, you know where things go.

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You know what the problems usually are.

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You know how to start.

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And you're just better at the activity itself.

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And more capability gives you more options too.

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The person who's never trained has a very different relationship with their body than the person who's trained consistently for years.

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The beginner rider has different options from the person with hundreds of finished pieces.

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the beginner in business sees fewer moves than somebody who's already dealt with the same type of problem 20 times

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and as your capacity rises your standard for what's normal can rise with it

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so something you once thought was an amazing day eventually becomes an average Tuesday

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and that's a huge shift

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because now the behavior isn't really even sitting on this pedestal anymore it's just normal

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and that's really what you want you want the things that currently seem impressive to just become ordinary, to become normal, normalized.

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Training isn't an event anymore.

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It's just part of your day.

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You train.

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Reading isn't a special challenge, right?

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You don't have to brag about it.

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You just read.

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You make promises carefully before because you expect yourself to actually keep them.

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And that's when you know the behavior is starting to get absorbed into your normal life.

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And now we finally get back to identity because all of these little changes have been adding up, right?

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Your body has changed, your environment has changed, your routines have changed, your capability has changed, and at some point your mind has to make sense of all of that.

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And this is why I actually like putting mindset towards the end here.

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People often start here because mindset feels like the control center for everything, and that's true.

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Obviously how you think matters.

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But I think mindset becomes a lot easier to change

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when you stop asking your mind to believe things that your behavior keeps disproving.

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If every night you tell yourself, I'm disciplined, I'm disciplined, I'm disciplined, and every morning you immediately break the commitment you made the night before,

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your brain has a weird little contradiction to resolve.

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You're saying one thing and repeatedly watching yourself do another.

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And so give your mind some help.

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Keep the commitment tomorrow, then again the day after that.

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Now when you say I'm getting more disciplined, And there's actually something underneath the sentence.

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You're describing a pattern that exists.

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And the belief starts feeling less like something you're trying to install into yourself

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and more like an observation of what you're actually doing.

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That's much more powerful because you don't have to fight yourself into believing it now.

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You're looking at your own behavior and going, well, apparently this is something I do now.

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Or apparently this is something I'm doing more often now.

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Again, there can be a bit of a lag here, especially if the old story is strong.

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you might lose weight

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and still mentally picture yourself at your old size you might become better socially

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and still walk into certain rooms expecting to be the insecure version of yourself

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or be nervous when talking to certain people

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or in certain situations you might have a good year in business

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and still feel like you're one mistake away from becoming the broke version of you again

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and that's because identity has history behind it it has memories emotion other people's opinions old failures, old successes.

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So give it a second, right?

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Give it some time.

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You don't have to force every part of yourself to update on day 15.

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Keep doing the work and just let the evidence pile up.

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And at some point, the old story starts requiring more mental effort to maintain than the new one.

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And that's where this whole thing starts getting really interesting.

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So let's talk about proof and identity.

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So this is the final section here.

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And it's basically about making sure you can see the evidence you're creating.

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If the entire point of the 90 days is to build a new history with yourself, you should probably keep some kind of record of that history, right?

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At the end of each day, take a couple of minutes and just record what happened.

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Did you train?

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Did you do the work?

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Did you follow the habits you chose?

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Did you hit the minimum on a difficult day?

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Just mark it down in some sort of a habit tracker and then just keep it stupidly simple, right?

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You shouldn't need 15 minutes to operate the tracker.

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The tracker exists to support the 90 days.

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The 90 days don't exist so you can maintain a beautiful tracker.

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And keep it factual.

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I felt productive isn't the same as doing the thing, right?

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I had a busy day, maybe completely true, and the commitment can still be missed.

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You're trying to create a clean record so that you can learn from it later.

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And then once a week, you just zoom out a little.

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Look at the last seven days together instead of judging every day separately?

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Where did things go well?

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Where did the system keep breaking?

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Did you miss one random workout?

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Or do you keep missing every workout scheduled after 6 p.m.?

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Did you randomly eat badly on Thursday?

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Or does your entire plan fall apart every weekend?

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Those are very different problems, right?

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And try to diagnose the actual cause.

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Sometimes the answer is effort.

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You knew what to do and you just didn't do it.

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Fine, just own it, right?

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But sometimes the system itself is just badly designed and you're just working against yourself.

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Maybe the habit is at the wrong time.

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Maybe the minimum is still too big.

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Maybe your environment makes the bad option ridiculously easy.

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Just fix the real problem.

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I also like keeping a short list of specific things you've done that contradict the old version of yourself.

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So think of them as receipts or confirmations.

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So I trained when I really didn't want to.

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I finished the piece instead of abandoning it halfway through.

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I kept my calories where I said I would for seven days.

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I woke up and worked before checking anything.

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These sounds very small, true, but that's kind of the point.

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One receipt doesn't change your identity.

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50 receipts start making an argument.

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And because they're real events, you can go back and actually look at them on the day

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that your brain suddenly decides you've never made any progress in your life because that happens to everyone.

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And this is also how you start building self-trust.

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And self-trust has been made into this vague, airy thing when in reality the mechanism is actually pretty simple.

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You tell yourself you're going to do something and then you actually do it.

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That's big.

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That's it.

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How big or small it is really doesn't matter.

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The important thing is that you did it.

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And now you trust yourself to do the next thing

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and gradually you increase the difficulty or the size of the habit

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and that's one little piece of evidence and then you do it again

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and again eventually when you

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when you tell yourself i'm going to do this tomorrow there's some weight behind

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that statement because you've built a history of doing what you said you were going to do

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and obviously the opposite happens too if you constantly make huge promises to yourself

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and constantly break them you train yourself to stop taking your own words seriously

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and this is what happens to people that at 2 a.m in the evening

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or in the morning whatever way you want to see it

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tell themselves tomorrow i'm going to change my whole life this is what happens

415

because tomorrow comes and they change absolutely nothing

416

or they go hard for one day

417

and then they break it the next day

418

and then they learn to trust them to trust

419

that they can trust themselves basically so you say monday i'm changing everything

420

and some part of you already knows that probably it isn't true because you've heard the speech 12 times.

421

And the way out of that isn't another bigger promise.

422

It's exactly the opposite.

423

It's usually a smaller promise that you actually keep and then another and another.

424

And you're slowly repairing the relationship you have with your own work.

425

So confidence grows in a similar way.

426

If you've repeatedly dealt with a situation, done the work and survived the difficult parts, you know, you have a better reason to trust yourself the next time it comes up.

427

You still don't know what's going to happen.

428

You can't predict everything.

429

Confidence doesn't mean you've somehow eliminated uncertainty.

430

It just means uncertainty doesn't automatically make you useless because you have some evidence about how you respond when things get hard.

431

And this is why real confidence is often quite specific.

432

somebody can be incredibly confident in business and insecure socially confident in the gym

433

and terrified of public speaking that's

434

because they've accumulated different amounts of evidence in different areas of their life

435

and doubt will still show up by the way like i don't want to sell you this idea

436

that 90 days of good habits turns you into some completely

437

fearless robot you're still going to have weird mornings you're still

438

going to question things you're still going to compare yourself to somebody and suddenly feel like you are behind.

439

The difference is that doubt doesn't get the same amount of weight anymore.

440

You can feel like you're inconsistent while looking at the tracker with 75 consistent days on it.

441

At some point, the feeling has to argue with the facts.

442

And even if the feeling stays for a while, you can make the next decision from the evidence instead of the feeling.

443

And that's a pretty big change by itself.

444

So if we turn all of this into an actual day, I'd keep the structure very simple.

445

You want a few mixed fixed places where the important behaviors happen

446

and you want enough flexibility that your entire life doesn't collapse when one day looks slightly different.

447

And I like putting one of the most important things early in the day if you can.

448

Training, writing, deep work, reading, whatever matters most for your rebuild.

449

and personally I will do it before you hand your attention to everybody else

450

because the second you check your messages email social media work notifications

451

and everything happening in the world your own priorities start competing with a hundred things

452

that feel urgent

453

and it doesn't need to be some insane three-hour morning routine

454

either keep it as short as it needs to be

455

and as long as it needs to be

456

if the important thing takes 45 minutes great then it's 45 minutes

457

if it takes 90 fine just don't add random habits

458

because you think a morning routine is supposed to look impressive

459

or because you copied someone else's morning routine thinking

460

that it would somehow make you successful

461

and then use a few minutes at night to just close the day mark the tracker look at your receipts

462

if you need to prepare anything that makes tomorrow easier

463

and that's basically it i like having a closing point because otherwise days can kind of bleed into one another.

464

You miss something, you say you'll do it later, later never really arrives.

465

And now the whole thing is floating around unfinished in your head.

466

And the evening review gives you a clean reset.

467

Today happened, here's what went well, here's what didn't.

468

Tomorrow already has a plan, and you go to sleep.

469

And I do think it's useful to have at least one other person who knows what you're doing.

470

And you don't need to tell the whole internet, of course, you don't need a giant group chat.

471

Just one person who knows what the actual plan is.

472

Tell them specifically, I'm training four times a week.

473

I'm writing for an hour every day or every weekday morning.

474

I'm hitting this calorie target.

475

Whatever it is, if the plan is vague, nobody can really tell whether you're following it, including you.

476

So then maybe once a week, you send them a quick update.

477

What did you say you'd do?

478

What did you actually do?

479

Where did you miss?

480

And that's it.

481

Two minutes is enough.

482

The point is really just to make it harder to quietly change the rules halfway through.

483

Because we're all very good at moving the goalpost in our own head

484

and then pretending the new goalpost was there the entire time.

485

And if you know you want more support than that, that's obviously where coaching can help.

486

Because one of the advantages of having somebody outside of your own head look at the plan is

487

that they can usually see the problems you keep normalizing.

488

Maybe your standards are unrealistic.

489

Maybe you're making things too easy.

490

Maybe the environment is the real issue.

491

Maybe you're chasing the wrong goal altogether.

492

Those are much easier to see when somebody can actually look at your specific life instead of giving you a generic device.

493

So if you want help building your own 90-day version of this around your actual situation, there's a link below where you can book a call with us

494

and we can talk through whether that makes sense for you.

495

Now, outside of whoever is helping you stay accountable, though, I actually like keeping most of the 90 days fairly quiet.

496

Because talking about change can sometimes give you a weird little piece of the reward before you've really done anything.

497

So you announce the plan and people tell you it sounds amazing

498

and you get a little dopamine spike

499

and you explain the new version of yourself you're becoming and for a second it almost feels like you've already changed.

500

I'd rather keep most of that energy inside the work, right?

501

You don't need everyone around you to understand the transformation while it's actually happening.

502

Just do it.

503

That's all.

504

It also saves you from having to constantly explain yourself, right?

505

Why aren't you going out?

506

Why are you eating this?

507

Why are you training so much?

508

Why are you working in the morning?

509

You don't need to turn every personal decision into a debate with someone.

510

And then, yeah, eventually other people may notice.

511

That's the fun part of the whole disappear for 90 days idea.

512

Somebody hasn't seen you for three months, and they look at you a little longer than usual.

513

And maybe you look different.

514

Maybe you carry yourself differently.

515

Maybe your work has changed.

516

Maybe you're just more grounded because you have three months of evidence underneath you and you're way more confident.

517

Enjoy that.

518

There's nothing wrong with enjoying when other people recognize your progress.

519

It's actually satisfying.

520

But the more important recognition happens before that.

521

It's when you look at your own behavior and realize, wait, I've actually been doing this for three months.

522

And suddenly the old sentence you used to say about yourself feels slightly ridiculous, right?

523

And that's really the threshold you're looking for.

524

The old version of you becomes harder to maintain because your current life keeps contradicting it.

525

The training is normal now.

526

The work is normal now.

527

The new food is normal now.

528

You prefer it, in fact.

529

The morning block is normal.

530

The thing that used to require this huge motivational event has become something you mostly just do.

531

And at that point, going back can actually start feeling stranger than continuing.

532

You miss training and something feels off.

533

You waste an entire morning and you notice it.

534

You break a promise to yourself and it bothers you more because that's no longer what you've been practicing.

535

And that's when identity has started catching up, has started catching up.

536

You aren't constantly trying to become the person anymore because enough of that person's behavior has become part of your normal life.

537

And if you think back to Roosevelt, this is basically why his story works so well as the beginning of this training.

538

The sick child and the adult we remember look like completely different people when you place them side by side.

539

But there wasn't one magical moment between them.

540

There was a process.

541

demand, repetition, capability, evidence, over and over again.

542

And the person changed because the life being lived changed.

543

And that's really the lesson I want you to take from this entire thing.

544

You don't have to sit around waiting for some internal moment where you finally feel like a new person.

545

Just give yourself 90 days of living differently enough that your old identity has to start explaining all this new evidence.

546

That's basically it.

547

So let's go over the review.

548

We covered the overview, the strenuous life, rebuilding the self, proof and identity, the review, and your action items for the day or the next few days.

549

First, decide who you're actually trying to become over the next 90 days and make it concrete.

550

Don't write something vague like the best version of myself.

551

What does this person actually do on a normal day?

552

How do they train?

553

How do they work?

554

What do they stop doing?

555

what would somebody be able to observe if they followed them around for a week

556

then you build the 90 days around a small number of behaviors

557

that would actually move you in that direction decide

558

when they'll happen shape your environment around them define the normal version

559

and the minimum version and set up a simple way to track whether you're actually following through

560

and then keep it simple enough that you can still do it

561

when the week gets messy and then you start collecting evidence.

562

Do the first workout, write the first page, keep the first promise, put one receipt on the board, and then come back tomorrow and do it again.

563

The whole point is just to spend the next 90 days creating enough proof

564

that the old story you had about yourself becomes harder and harder to believe.

565

And with that said, I hope this brought a lot of value.

566

If it did, let me know.

567

And if you want to work with me one-on-one on any of this, make sure to book a call from the link in the description.

568

If you want this training along with its respective document, make sure to join the free community from the link in the description.

569

And if you want weekly newsletters helping you improve every aspect of your life, then make sure to join the free newsletter again from the link in the description.

570

Once again, thank you for being here.

571

Thank you for watching, and I'll see you in the next one.

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המלץ על סרטון

274 משפטים

אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה

שיעור הדיבור הזה ברמה B2 מבוסס על הסרטון “disappear and come back unrecognizable in 90 days”. בסרטון הזה יש 571 משפטים ו-7173 מילים לתרגול Shadowing. הדיבור נמשך 39:26. הדובר מדבר מהר, כ-182 מילים בדקה, אז צפו לצלילים מחוברים ומקוצרים. 89% מהמילים נמצאות בין 3,000 המילים הנפוצות ביותר באנגלית, כך שקל לעקוב אחרי אוצר המילים.

אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה

15 המילים המתקדמות ביותר בסרטון, עם ההגייה והמשמעות שלהן:

מילה	הגייה	משמעות
workout שם עצם	/ˈwɝk.aʊ̯t/	התעמלות
disappear פועל	/dɪsəˈpɪɹ/	נֶעֱלַם
repetition שם עצם	/ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/	חֲזָרָה
vague שם תואר	/veɪɡ/	עמום, מעורפל
overview שם עצם	/ˈoʊ.vɚˌvjuː/	סקירה
rehearse פועל	/ɹɪˈhɝs/	חזרה
beginner שם עצם	/bəˈɡɪnɚ/	מַתְחִיל, טִירוֹן
calorie שם עצם	/ˈkæləɹi/	קָלוֹרְיָה
motivate פועל	/ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/	דרבן
attach פועל	/əˈtæt͡ʃ/	חיבר
prediction שם עצם	/pɹɪˈdɪkʃən/	תַּחֲזִית
flexibility שם עצם	/ˌflɛksɪˈbɪlɪti/	גְּמִישׁוּת
deliberately תואר הפועל	/dɪˈlɪb.(ə.)ɹət.li/	בכוונה
float פועל	/fləʊt/	צָף
flexible שם תואר	/ˈflɛk.sɪ.bəl/	גמיש

Phrasal verbs שתשמעו

מילה	הגייה	משמעות
come back פועל		שָׁב
wake up פועל	/ˌweɪk ˈʌp/	התעורר
fall apart פועל		התפרק, מט לנפול
figure out פועל		הֵבִין, מצא תשובה
go out פועל		יָצָא
go up פועל		עָלָה
write down פועל		רָשַׁם

משפטים שכדאי לחזור עליהם

משפטים קצרים ושלמים מהסרטון שאפשר להשתמש בהם בשיחה יומיומית:

What do you buy every week?
What's available when you're hungry and you don't feel like cooking?
Did you do the work?
What did you say you'd do?
Why aren't you going out?

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:

מבנה	בסרטון
הווה מושלם ממושך (Present perfect continuous) have/has been + -ing — פעולה שהתחילה בעבר ועדיין נמשכת עכשיו	You've been rehearsing · you've been going · you've been showing
“Used to” used to + verb — הרגל או מצב שהיה נכון בעבר וכבר לא קיים	used to say · used to require
הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו	you've collected · you've started · you've always been
משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר	guy who became · out, which makes · kid who already

הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה

הדובר משתמש ב-235 קיצורים וצורות מקוצרות, כמו you're, don't, you've. אמרו אותם בצורה הקצרה, כפי שאתם שומעים אותם.

הצלילים של “sh” ו-“zh”: repetition /ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/, socially /ˈsoʊʃəli/, prediction /pɹɪˈdɪkʃən/, revolutionary /ˌɹɛvəˈluʃənɛɹi/, conscious /ˈkɑn.ʃəs/
מילים ארוכות — שימו לב להטעמה: repetition /ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/, inconsistent /ˌɪnkənˈsɪstənt/, capability /ˌkeɪ.pəˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/, ridiculously /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs.li/, flexibility /ˌflɛksɪˈbɪlɪti/

צלילים שדוברי עברית מתקשים בהם:

/w/ — שפתיים מעוגלות, לא /v/: workout /ˈwɝk.aʊ̯t/, willpower /ˈwɪlˌpaʊɚ/, halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/, quietly /ˈkwaɪ.ɪt.li/
/æ/ — פתוח יותר מה-“אֶ” העברית, לא כמו “a” ב-“cup”: tracker /ˈtɹækə(ɹ)/, calorie /ˈkæləɹi/, attach /əˈtæt͡ʃ/, halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/, abstract /ˈæbˌstɹækt/
/r/ — הלשון לא נוגעת בשום מקום, לא ה-“ר” הגרונית: tracker /ˈtɹækə(ɹ)/, receipt /ɹɪˈsiːt/, disappear /dɪsəˈpɪɹ/, repetition /ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/, rebuild /ɹiːˈbɪld/

איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה

הקשיבו לכל הסרטון פעם אחת בלי לדבר, ורשמו את המילים שאתם לא מכירים.
התחילו במהירות 0.75×, תרגלו Shadowing משפט אחר משפט, וחזרו למהירות רגילה כשזה מרגיש קל.
הקליטו את עצמכם והשוו למקור, תוך תשומת לב למילים כמו workout, disappear, repetition.

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?

שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.

טכניקת Shadowing: קרא את המדריך המלא שלב אחר שלב →

Shadowing Practice: disappear and come back unrecognizable in 90 days (full blueprint) - Learn English Speaking with Video

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