शैडोइंग अभ्यास: All Parents Should See This | Michael McIntyre Stand Up Comedy - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें
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438 वाक्य
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And there are people in this room who do have children, and there are people in this room who don't have children.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And the people who don't have children, they think they know, don't they?
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They think they know what it means to have children.
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Sometimes they chat about it, don't they, in their little couples, you know?
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Oh, I'd love to start a family one day with you, it'd be lovely.
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You'd make a really good dad.
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I think you'd be an amazing mum.
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Wouldn't it be so lovely having little versions of you and me running around?
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I'd love to have a family and you think you know what you're talking about.
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You have no idea!
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You have no idea what it's like.
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You have no idea how difficult things will become in your life.
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Things that you don't even consider to be things will become nearly impossible when you have children.
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I'm talking about things like leaving the house, for example.
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This is how people without children leave the house.
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Shall we leave the house?
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Yes.
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LAUGHTER This is how I leave the house almost every day.
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Lucas!
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Oscar!
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Come downstairs!
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We're late!
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Why aren't you downstairs?
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Put your shoes on.
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I don't know where my shoes are!
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Put your shoes on.
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Go and find your shoes.
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Where did you see them last?
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On my feet.
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LAUGHTER After that, get your shoes on.
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Come here, come here.
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Arms up, arms up, arms in, arms in, arms up, arms up, arms in.
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That's my wife.
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She's so tired, she can't dress herself.
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What?
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I'm doing rot on you, darling.
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Where are we going?
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I want to go to bed.
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Where are we going, darling?
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Darling, you've got Lucas's shoes on your hands.
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I found your shoes, darling.
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You put your shoes on.
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Where's Aussie?
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Come downstairs!
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We're late!
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Put your coat on.
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I don't want to wear my coat.
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You know people without children, you know how you do zips-up?
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I've seen how much time you have in your lives.
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How you focus on it.
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Forget the one with the fabric.
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You just pop it in, don't you?
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It nestles in.
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Then you pause, thinking about your free life and what you might need to do later that day.
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And then you just glide up, don't you?
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To think I have time for that shit in my life.
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Every single morning.
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Yeah!
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Oh, I've ruined it!
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I've ruined it!
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Stay still!
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You're going to have to put another coat on.
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I've ruined this here.
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I've ruined this here.
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I'm sorry, I've made the situation where...
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My three-year-old will never come downstairs.
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The only way to get him to leave the house is we have to bluff.
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We have to pretend that we're leaving without him.
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It's the only way it'll work.
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We have to all go, Bye-bye, Ozzy.
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We're all going then.
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My other son loves it, the six-year-old.
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We're leaving Ozzy.
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He's going to stay here.
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Don't be so rude about your brother.
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Say goodbye.
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We're not really leaving.
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We're pretending to leave.
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Say goodbye.
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Bye-bye.
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Bye-bye, Ozzy.
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Bye-bye.
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But he doesn't care.
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He just goes, Bye-bye.
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Then we have to come back in and explain to him, we're not really leaving, darling, we love you, it's okay.
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I'll buy you something if you come.
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Will you come if I buy you something?
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This is every single time we leave the house.
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The other day we're leaving the house and I just had an offer.
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I just said to my wife, I'm sorry, I can't do this.
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We're bluffing, we're saying bye-bye to him.
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Then my wife says, let's go and get him.
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I'm like, stop, no, I've had it.
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No, stop.
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I cannot go through this every single time we leave the house.
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It's driving me insane.
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Okay, I say we call his bluff.
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I think he has to learn a lesson.
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Okay?
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Let's go.
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Let's just go.
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Let's go to Corfu.
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Let's have a nice holiday.
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You have no idea what it's like.
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You childless people.
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You have no idea.
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Driving.
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You go driving.
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You're driving cars, don't you?
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Driving along.
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Yay!
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What's the biggest drama you have to put up with?
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Oh, it's a bit chilly.
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Oh, put the blower on.
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Oh, that's nice now.
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Oh, look, they've opened a new Carluccio.
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We should go there.
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We could go there any night.
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We could go there any night.
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Oh, what's this song?
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I love this one.
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Freedom!
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Freedom!
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I strap my children into the car.
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I work out what'll cut off the blood supply, then I ease it a bit.
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Stay there!
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We try and behave normally.
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Oh, what's this song?
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It's the wheels on the bus.
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Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
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Again, again!
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Look, there's a new Carluccio there.
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We will never go there.
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I was checking my children in the rearview mirror to see that they're safe.
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We're on the motorway, okay?
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You just angle it to check that they're both okay, because, you know, you're looking after them.
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Neither of them were there.
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They had both wound the windows down and had their heads on the motorway out of the window.
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Yay!
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Both of them, either side.
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Yay!
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My boyfriend just lost it.
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Get in the car!
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They can't hear us.
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They're having the times of their lives.
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Yeah!
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I can't hear you!
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What are you saying, Daddy?
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On the motorway, going 80 miles an hour, I had to stick my head out of my window to try and communicate with my child.
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Get in the car!
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What are you saying?
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My wife's doing it too.
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Get in the car!
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What is it, Mummy?
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But all four of us had our heads out of the window.
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Meanwhile, a childless couple is driving past.
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Aw, look at the kids, I'd love to start a family one day.
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You have no idea what you're talking about!
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Sleeping...
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..sleeping at night!
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This is how people without children, yeah, most nights, yeah.
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Good night, darling, good night.
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Sometimes you go, sleep well, and the other one goes, I will.
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That's how cocky, how arrogant you are.
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I will, I know I will.
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Good night, darling, have a good sleep.
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Good night.
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It's been a long time since my wife and I said good night to each other, OK?
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Now we just go, good luck.
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All through the night, they're screaming, Daddy, darling, that robbie, robbie!
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Sometimes they just wake up wide awake in the middle of the night.
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I'm asleep, it's like 2 o'clock in the morning.
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You know, sometimes you don't realise it, but you sort of half open your eyes.
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Sometimes you're in your sleep, I half open my eyes.
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My son is in my face.
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No, no, no!
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What the hell are you doing here?
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What time is it?
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What time is it?
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2 o'clock in the morning, what do you want?
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I want to go to school.
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Go to school?
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What are you talking about?
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It's to go back to bed.
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I've got my shoes on.
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You do, you found your shoes.
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I fixed my jacket.
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How the hell did you...
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What are you doing?
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It's 2 o'clock in the morning, you idiot!
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Go to bed!
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Where's Ozzy?
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He's by the front door.
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He's never been there in his life!
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It's 2 in the morning!
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I have no idea.
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I have children, I have two children, and night-night is simply not part of the putting to bed routine.
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Alright?
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I'm nowhere near night-night when I put my children to bed.
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This is an unrealistic interpretation of bedtime with children.
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I start angry.
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I don't build to anger anymore.
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I used to build.
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Now I start with five minutes over in bed.
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Don't you mess with me tonight.
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Five minutes.
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I'll be back here in five minutes on the dot.
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Then you're going to bed.
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That's just getting them into bed.
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Then it just carries on.
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Go to sleep.
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Don't you mess with...
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Go to...close your...you have to remind them how it works.
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Close your eyes.. and go to sleep.
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I have no idea how exhausted I am and your mother is because of this.
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Go to sleep.
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You selfish...selfish little shit.
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Close your eyes and go to sleep!
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Enough is enough!
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Do you know that your mother and I haven't had sex in weeks because of this?
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Do you know that sometimes she says to me in the afternoon, oh, maybe tonight, Michael, you'll get lucky when the kids are asleep.
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You're never asleep!
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Go to sleep!
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Night-night.
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That's pretty much how it goes.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Don't get me wrong, night-night is part of it.
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It's just when they're already asleep.
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You never love your children more than when they're unconscious but still breathing.
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It's a lovely moment.
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Look at my little man.
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Oh, night-night, darling.
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Daddy's little soldier.
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Oh, Daddy loves you.
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Darling, look what we did.
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Oh, look what we made.
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Oh, isn't he lovely?
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Night-night.
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I'm still awake, come on, I'll sleep!
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This is how you raise children.
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It's basically...
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If you have children, you'll know this.
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If you have been a child, I'm sure you can remember.
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It's threats.
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Threats of death is the only way you can get children to do things.
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Put your coat on.
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I don't want to put my coat on.
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If you don't put your coat on, you'll get pneumonia and die.
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Sorry, Daddy.
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Hold Daddy's hand.
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I don't want to hold your hand.
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If you don't hold my hand, a car will hit you and you will die.
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Brush your teeth.
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I don't want to brush my teeth.
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If you don't brush your teeth, they'll rot and fall out.
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You won't be able to eat and you will die.
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Go to bed.
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I don't want to go to bed.
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If you don't go to bed, I will personally kill you.
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I've got a plan and an alibi.
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APPLAUSE Family people in tonight, who's got children?
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Round of applause, you've got children?
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CHEERING There are basics that you have to do every single day when raising children, and these are feeding them.
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You have to feed them.
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This is probably news to nobody.
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You have to feed them.
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You have to dress them.
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You have to wash them, and you have to put them to bed.
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You have to do these four things every single day.
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Now, every single day, each one of these things is a battle.
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They are reluctant to do these things, and you are forced every day to compromise on each of them.
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I don't know why they resist these basic things.
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Every day is a battle.
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Just getting dressed.
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They will not get dressed.
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Put your clothes on.
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Put your pants on.
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They refuse to wear pants.
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I don't like pants.
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They're uncomfortable.
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I don't like pants.
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Put your jumper on.
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I'm boiling.
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I'm boiling.
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They're always boiling.
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I'm boiling!
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Yes, that's because I've heated the inside of the house, but what I haven't done is heated the rest of the world!
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So you will need it when you get outside.
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Can I just take it?
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So you just compromise, all right.
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Fine!
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Just take it.
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Do your laces.
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Can I do it in the car?
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Fine!
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In the car!
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Where's your bag?
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Where's your other shoe?
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And they spring things on you at the last minute.
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The other day we're going to school, we're nearly out the door.
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My son's not quite well, actually.
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He's got his pants on, he's even got his jumper on, he's holding his coat, he's got his bag.
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We're nearly out the door, he just looks at me and goes, Dad, it's Roman Day.
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LAUGHTER What's Roman Day?
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Everybody has to go to school today dressed as something from the Roman Empire.
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LAUGHTER I suppose it's all in six minutes.
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What exactly did you expect me to do at this point?
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Oh, yes, when I was nine, I was a centurion.
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I think I still have my armour here in the cupboard.
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LAUGHTER Let's not drive this morning.
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I've been hiding a horse and chariot in the garage.
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will arrive in style.
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Feeding.
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They will eat.
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Children will eat.
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They will eat rubbish.
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They'll eat garbage, OK?
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They'll eat chocolate and sweets and ice cream till they're sick.
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What they won't eat is things that are good for them.
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Every day we try to get them to eat vegetables, fruit, things that are good for them.
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We aim very high, my wife and I, every single meal time.
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All right, tonight, there will be no ice cream, children, unless you have all your peas, all your broccoli and all your carrots.
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But dad, please, it's disgusting.
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Please don't make me eat that, please, it's just disgusting.
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Please, dad, you can't force us.
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You can't force us.
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It's disgusting.
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All right?
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Fine!
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I just want you to eat one carrot, five peas, and this floret of broccoli.
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But dad, it's disgusting.
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Please don't make me eat that, please.
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You can't force me.
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I hate it.
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I hate it!
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I'm fine!
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Just stick out your tongue and let me wipe the broccoli across your face.
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And then can I have ice cream?
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Yes!
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Washing every day, run the bath, get in the bath, have you washed...
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Have you brushed your teeth?
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They lie to you.
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They lie to my face every single day.
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Have you brushed your teeth?
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Yes.
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OK, then breathe on me.
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I have to get this jet of disgusting...
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You haven't brushed your teeth, have you?
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No, I haven't, Daddy.
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I haven't done it anymore.
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Why didn't you say that?!
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The laziness.
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Oh, and flush the...
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You know...
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Before I had children, I used to dream about what it was like.
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My wife and I would discuss it.
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I can't wait to have children.
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It's going to be amazing.
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You'll be such an amazing mum.
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I used to dream of idyllic, rosy-cheeked, beautiful children in dungarees, running in fields, picking flowers.
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Can we have our picnic now?
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Can we have our picnic?
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How did that fantasy become me, almost on a nightly basis, standing over the toilet, going, whose poo is this?
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Lucas, is that your poo?
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He puts on this whole facade, he actually comes over and looks in the...
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No, that's not my poo.
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So, Ozzy, it's your poo.
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Dad, that is definitely not my poop.
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Darling, don't you even!
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Hair wash night.
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I don't know how much you're supposed to wash your children's hair, but I've got it down to about once a fortnight now because of the drama.
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Hair wash night!
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No, Daddy, please!
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Can we do it tomorrow?
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Daddy, no, we'll do it tomorrow!
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We'll do it tomorrow!
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It's going to go on!
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It's going to be a little worse!
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Put your head back.
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You have to hold the flannel.
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They shake it a bit.
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It's in your eyes!
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It's in your eyes!
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It's in your eyes!
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It's in your eyes!
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God forbid the shampoo actually goes a little bit in their eyes.
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AHHHHH!
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AHHHHH!
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I'm in a towel!
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I'm in a towel!
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Oww!
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Oww!
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Oww!
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Oww!
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Why would you do that to me?
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For God's sake, I'm just trying to wash your hair.
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Bedtime, oh, bedtime, it's bedtime, go to bed.
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Can I have a story?
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Can I have a story?
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The last thing you want to do at the end of a day of battles is read a nonsense, stupid story.
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I don't know if you do this, but I will scan the bookshelf for the shortest book that we own.
401
My son's always like, can we read The Hobbit?
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No!
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I thought we could read this leaflet that came through the dog.
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It's for a local pizzeria.
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You see there's a deal on.
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Now, good night.
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Daddy loves it.
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This is what it is like.
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It is a battle.
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It is a daily battle every single day to do the basics.
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There isn't a child on Earth who has ever not battled these things.
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There's no kid in the history of children who's ever just gone, Mum, Dad, listen, I'm exhausted tonight.
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I'm just gonna head up to bed, I think.
414
I managed to squeeze a shower in earlier, Mum, while you were cooking that amazing dinner.
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I don't know what you did with the broccoli.
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Was it something different?
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Because to me, it could have been a meal all unto itself.
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It might be different.
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I didn't tell you guys it was Roman Day tomorrow, because I wanted to surprise you with the outfit that I've made.
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You're gonna love it.
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I'll see you by the door at about 5 to 8 in my shoes and pants, and I'm gonna wear my coat, because you never know.
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I mean, it is quite chilly out.
423
Oh, and...
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Minty for Ash.
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Well, that's never going to happen.
426
It's because I'm getting older, you see.
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My wife and I were the same age.
428
Little things have started changing.
429
For years, everything was the same, everything was the same, but now we can feel it creeping in.
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It's not exactly old age, but little differences.
431
For example, we can't stay up at night.
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We pass out.
433
Every single...
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About 9.30 is a late one for us.
435
We get so tired.
436
You know when you click on the Netflix thing and it goes, Boom!
437
That's the sound of my wife and I's head hitting the pillow and passing over.
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I can't get any on it!
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इस पाठ की शब्दावली और बोलने के सुझाव
यह B1 स्तर का स्पीकिंग पाठ वीडियो “All Parents Should See This” पर आधारित है। इस वीडियो में शैडोइंग के लिए 438 वाक्य और 2960 शब्द हैं। बोला गया हिस्सा 17:08 लंबा है। वक्ता लगभग 173 शब्द प्रति मिनट की स्वाभाविक गति से बोलता है, जो रोज़मर्रा की बातचीत के करीब है। 84% शब्द अंग्रेज़ी के 3,000 सबसे आम शब्दों में से हैं; बाकी शब्द अभ्यास से पहले देख लेना अच्छा रहेगा।
इस वीडियो की मुख्य शब्दावली
वीडियो के 15 सबसे कठिन शब्द, उच्चारण और अर्थ के साथ:
| शब्द | उच्चारण | अर्थ |
|---|---|---|
| shoe संज्ञा | /ˈʃu/ | जूता |
| darling संज्ञा | /ˈdɑɹlɪŋ/ | प्रिय, प्रिया |
| brush संज्ञा | /bɹʌʃ/ | ब्रश, बुरुश |
| laughter संज्ञा | /ˈlæftɚ/ | हंसी, ख़ंदा |
| disgusting विशेषण | /dɪsˈɡʌstɪŋ/ | घिनौना |
| broccoli संज्ञा | /ˈbɹɑ.kə.li/ | ब्रोकोली, हरी गोभी |
| boil क्रिया | /bɔɪ(ə)l/ | उबलना |
| applause संज्ञा | /əˈplɔːz/ | वाहवाही, शाबाशी |
| ruin संज्ञा | /ˈɹuː.ɪn/ | खँडहर, खंडहर |
| motorway संज्ञा | /ˈməʊtəweɪ/ | द्रुतमार्ग |
| childless विशेषण | संतानहीन | |
| pea संज्ञा | /piː/ | मटर |
| carrot संज्ञा | /ˈkæɹət/ | गाजर, गज़र |
| jumper संज्ञा | /ˈd͡ʒʌmpɚ/ | जम्पर |
| chili संज्ञा | /ˈt͡ʃɪli/ | मिर्च, हरी मिर्च |
वीडियो में आने वाली फ़्रेज़ल वर्ब
| शब्द | उच्चारण | अर्थ |
|---|---|---|
| wake up क्रिया | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | जागना |
दोहराने लायक वाक्य
वीडियो के छोटे, पूरे वाक्य जिन्हें आप रोज़ की बातचीत में इस्तेमाल कर सकते हैं:
- You just pop it in, don't you?
- You're driving cars, don't you?
- Round of applause, you've got children?
- You haven't brushed your teeth, have you?
- Why didn't you say that?!
इस वीडियो का व्याकरण
वक्ता जिन संरचनाओं का सबसे अधिक प्रयोग करता है, वीडियो के असली शब्दों के साथ:
| संरचना | वीडियो में |
|---|---|
| शर्त वाले वाक्य if + उपवाक्य, will/would + क्रिया — शर्त और उसका नतीजा | If you have children, you'll know · If you don't brush your teeth, they'll rot |
| “used to” used to + क्रिया — बीती आदत या स्थिति जो अब नहीं है | used to build · used to dream |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — बीता हुआ काम जिसका असर अभी भी है | I've seen · I've ruined · I've made |
| Passive voice be + past participle — ज़ोर इस पर कि क्या होता है, न कि कौन करता है | are forced · is heated · is read |
ध्यान देने योग्य उच्चारण
वक्ता 151 बार संक्षिप्त रूपों का प्रयोग करता है, जैसे don't, I'm, we're। इन्हें वैसे ही छोटा बोलें जैसा आप सुनते हैं।
- “sh” और “zh” की ध्वनियाँ: shoe /ˈʃu/, brush /bɹʌʃ/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, bookshelf /ˈbʊkˌʃɛlf/, shampoo /ʃæmˈpuː/
- लंबे शब्द — बलाघात सही रखें: centurion /sɛnˈtjʊɹ.i.ən/, pizzeria /ˌpiːt.səˈɹiː.ə/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, interpretation /ɪnˌtɜːpɹəˈteɪʃən/
हिंदी भाषियों के लिए मुश्किल ध्वनियाँ:
- /v/ और /w/ का फ़र्क़ — /v/ में ऊपर के दाँत निचले होंठ को छूते हैं, /w/ में होंठ गोल होते हैं: motorway /ˈməʊtəweɪ/, awake /əˈweɪk/, rearview /ˈɹɪɹvjuː/, vegetable /ˈvɛd͡ʒ.tə.bəl/, squeeze /skwiːz/
- /z/ — इसे “ज” (/dʒ/) न बनाएँ: downstairs /daʊnˈstɛɹz/, applause /əˈplɔːz/, exhaust /ɪɡˈzɔst/, compromise /ˈkɑmpɹəˌmaɪz/, dungarees /ˌdʌŋ.ɡəˈɹiːz/
- शब्द की शुरुआत में s + व्यंजन — पहले “इ” न जोड़ें: strap /stɹæp/, squeeze /skwiːz/, scan /skæn/, scream /skɹiːm/
इस वीडियो से अभ्यास कैसे करें
- पहले बिना बोले पूरा वीडियो एक बार सुनें और जो शब्द नहीं आते उन्हें लिख लें।
- 0.75× गति से शुरू करें, एक-एक वाक्य की शैडोइंग करें, और सहज लगने पर सामान्य गति पर लौटें।
- अपनी आवाज़ रिकॉर्ड करें और मूल से तुलना करें, ख़ासकर shoe, darling, brush जैसे शब्दों पर ध्यान दें।
शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?
शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।