शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Hilarious London Moments | Max Amini | Stand Up Comedy - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Kevin you speak English?

⏸ रुका हुआ

गति:

402 वाक्य

यदि वाक्य बहुत छोटे या लंबे हों, तो समायोजित करने के लिए Edit पर क्लिक करें।

Kevin you speak English?

Okay from the beginning of the show till now you haven't smiled even once.

She forced you to come, didn't she?

You didn't want to come.

You're married?

Yeah, what's your name?

Marjana.

Next time come by herself.

She's so cool.

Look how beautiful.

She's smiling.

She's laughing.

How do you wake up next to Kevin?

Every morning.

Good morning, honey.

Kevin, that was funny.

Laugh, that was funny.

It's comedy.

We're joking.

Kevin's like, I'm going to sue you after the show.

I'll show you who the...

I love you, Kevin.

Ah, you're smiling now, you're smiling!

Ah, look at you!

After the show, let's hang out,

me and you, we'll go to a strip club, okay?

Marjan's like, no problem, just take him away.

Brian, and you're married to an Iranian?

No. No?

You're here by yourself?

No, I'm here by the way.

You're here?

Oh, you're dating an Iranian.

Oh, okay, you don't need to be an asshole about it.

No, nobody says, no, no,

no, no, no. Your cheeks don't need to vibrate.

No, no, no, no, no,

no. You sound like a fun guy.

You got a great attitude.

I like that.

What do you do?

Psychologist.

Psychologist?

Oh, she needs you.

You guys are made in heaven.

I really hope it works out.

And what do you do?

I'm a genius.

You're a genius.

You definitely need a psychologist, honey.

See, in the history of all geniuses in the world,

they've never themselves said, I am genius.

See, other people identify who is a genius.

Brian what do you think huh she is a genius you you just trying to get laid

but the thing is the truth is you don't introduce yourself as a genius I'm sure she's a genius yeah

but socially even geniuses are genius enough to know

that you don't say that I am genius because they're such geniuses

that they know that shit is not okay to say see it's a genius thing to do not to say I'm genius.

I don't know how to explain this.

And what kind of genius?

Like in what format you're a genius?

Brian, don't help her.

I'm working for Apple.

You work for Apple.

Okay.

Okay, relax.

We don't know what she's doing.

What?

Calm down.

Maybe she's customers there.

What can I do for you?

Okay.

Thank you for calling Apple.

Oh, is that the phone?

Okay, turn off your phone, turn it on.

Oh, it didn't work?

Let me give you to the engineer.

Maybe that's the shit she does.

Let me find out what she does for Apple.

This guy came with sunglasses.

Buddy, now you're in the theater.

Huh?

Prescription.

Prescription?

What kind of prescription they gave you that's for inside, but it's dark.

So the vision gets better,

but the color doesn't let you see.

That's bullshit to the nth degree.

Yeah.

Prescription, buddy, prescription.

What did you ask the doctor?

I asked you to look cool.

They prescribed the coolness for me.

The point is you're stylish, that's all that matters.

Yeah.

You see better with it or without it?

With it, a shtick up a liar's ass.

Do I want to see the doctor prescribe it to you, not for me?

Nice start to the show.

100

Okay, that was not a question,

101

that was a word that you just said.

102

Huh?

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She doesn't know about the doodoo tada.

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Where's she from?

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What's your name, Harley?

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I'm from South Africa.

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South Africa.

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Oh, you're beautiful.

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What are you doing with this asshole?

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Are you dating him?

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He's on the second date.

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Second date.

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Wow.

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Natasha, I want you to know something.

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Yeah?

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He's bad news.

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I'm not just saying it.

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This show, I promise you this,

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this show, all of these seats,

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maybe minus the very top couple of rows,

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was sold out over a month ago.

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Yeah, I'm not kidding.

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So he bought two tickets.

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The seat belonged to someone else and he messed it up.

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And listen, don't interrupt my show.

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Don't interrupt my show player because this is gonna be your last date tonight Oh,

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and I'm gonna explain what doodletail is and Natasha is gonna be my date tonight

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Natasha I'm gonna fly you with Emirates airline back in Los Angeles

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This guy grew up thinking he's got a golden dick And on a second date He wanted me to say oh,

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he's going good and dick please Please let them have a lucky night.

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I Shouldn't I'm not an asshole.

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I wouldn't do that.

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I wouldn't do that.

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I wouldn't do that.

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I wouldn't do that We will meet tomorrow Natasha Hold on hold on hold on hold on this seat is not available

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Okay, right there is fine.

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You're adorable.

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So wait a minute, I asked if anybody's sitting here and you said no. No,

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no, so I lost my father last year.

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Whenever I go home.

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Oh, that's so sweet.

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First of all, much blessing to your father.

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And what's your name?

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Ritika.

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Ritika?

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Ritika, where are you from?

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India.

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Indian, okay, wonderful to meet you.

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I believe also when they say when somebody passes away,

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they're always with you.

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Yeah?

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And I'm Iranian.

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And I lost my father in 2015.

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And I would never do that.

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You know why?

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Because if I did that,

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my father's soul would be so unhappy.

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I'm telling you.

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My father would be like,

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Max, I mean, why are you wasting money?

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I am in heaven, having a great time.

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What did I teach you?

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You go up to be an idiot,

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you buy seeds for me?

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Stupid, I am in heaven having a good time.

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I don't even want to hang out with you.

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Finally I died to be away from you guys.

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Are you forcing me from heaven to come watch this bullshit?

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Hold on one second, hold on.

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Did you hear that?

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I just heard your father laugh.

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He goes, what a funny guy.

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I don't care, I like to come sit next to my daughter and watch your show Max Emile.

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To the heavens.

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Juna!

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Yeah!

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Wow!

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So what's the relationships?

179

Yeah, you two together, yeah?

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Where are you from?

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Goa.

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Russia.

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Russian?

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Like he's already saying, bro,

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bring it, I fuck you up.

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I will destroy you from here to Russia,

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mother bitch, bring yourself to me, eh?

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Come to daddy.

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Nice.

190

What do you do in London?

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I kill people.

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I walk around.

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I don't like you, I kill you.

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I don't care.

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Don't like the way you look?

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Fuck you!

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I'm Alex, the assassin.

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What is it?

199

You're a teacher?

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Nice, dude.

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What do you teach?

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How to kill people.

203

Anybody here just came from Iran,

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like moved here to UK recently from Iran?

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Yes, how long?

206

Okay, six weeks?

207

You moved here for a good six weeks ago?

208

I don't know.

209

And your English is good.

210

You came here to see the show.

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Yeah?

212

It's okay?

213

You understand?

214

Yeah.

215

That's wonderful, buddy.

216

Do you really understand?

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Okay.

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Because I said, do you understand?

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And then you pause and you Google, what is understand?

220

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Please give it up for Ms. Ali Zahle in the house,

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the Taekwondo champion of Iran.

223

Thank you.

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This is amazing.

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I didn't know you were this tall.

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My God, of course you're a champion.

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You're just like, okay.

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Before the person gets into the mat,

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you already knock them out.

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Ali, carry me.

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Send me a message.

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A very sweet message.

233

He's one of the best soccer players that came out of the Middle East.

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And on top of that,

235

he became one of the biggest advocates of Iran.

236

And he's an incredible person that stands up for humanity.

237

He's got a huge heart.

238

Anyway, he messaged me and he said, Kimia, she's in London.

239

And I was so flattered that you're going to come to the show.

240

I was about to roast you,

241

but then I realized you're the most dangerous person in the audience to roast.

242

Kimia, she's world champion over here, you know?

243

It's amazing.

244

Unbelievable.

245

That's awesome.

246

And the guy next to you, coach, you coach her.

247

Kimia, you're so talented.

248

If this is the guy who coached you and you won,

249

shit, man, you're natural talent.

250

You let this guy teach you?

251

Dude, go to the gym at least.

252

What kind of Taekwondo coach wears glasses?

253

Sorry, I kicked your ass.

254

One second.

255

Buddy?

256

Stand up, everybody.

257

Meet the coach.

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Stand up, everybody.

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After the show, I kick your ass.

260

Thank you.

261

So you're also a martial artist.

262

Yeah, you're also a taekwondo champion.

263

Awesome, buddy.

264

Thank you.

265

This is this is pride and joy for us.

266

Yeah This is like when you say tell us something special about Iran right here.

267

She's here

268

I had people from Moldovia yesterday people from Croatia It was really fun and tonight seems like a nice mix as well.

269

Yeah, you didn't play.

270

Where are you from?

271

I'm from London.

272

You're from London.

273

Nobody's from London.

274

Why are you acting like this?

275

No, you're not.

276

Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?

277

Go to the airport, let me see where you're from.

278

Go to the airport, they're like,

279

who the hell are you?

280

You think these white people look at you and they go,

281

she's one of us.

282

No. Instead, It's true.

283

Instead, they whisper to each other,

284

you see that girl, she's different color.

285

I'm like, oh, you're one of those.

286

Okay, hi, hey, cheers.

287

You don't want to tell me your ethnicity?

288

I'm from Bangladesh.

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Bangladesh.

290

Yes, that's where you're from.

291

You're from Bangladesh.

292

Bangladesh is a beautiful country.

293

Everybody should be so proud of where they're from, their ancestors, their parents.

294

That's when you realize you have identity.

295

Yeah?

296

If you don't own it and own it and you don't learn about it,

297

my parents are from Bangladesh.

298

That means you don't know shit about Bangladesh.

299

It's a fascinating country, yeah?

300

Where are you from?

301

None of your goddamn business.

302

I am American.

303

This comedy is writing itself.

304

How do you kind of grew up here?

305

Anybody?

306

Yeah?

307

How old are you?

308

75. You're 75.

309

Wow, congratulations.

310

You look beautiful.

311

Yeah.

312

And how many years have you been in the UK?

313

I came when I was 9.

314

This is incredible.

315

Wow.

316

What's your name?

317

Fereste.

318

Fereste.

319

You kept it?

320

Mom, you're so cool.

321

She can't see you.

322

Do you mind just coming closer?

323

Because she's visually impaired.

324

She even has her binoculars.

325

And she can't see any of your face.

326

She said she cannot see.

327

She's asking me to go closer.

328

Because she brought binoculars.

329

Mom, this is a comedy show.

330

I know she told you she's taking to a show of a guy called Doodletella.

331

And you think if I get closer to you,

332

you will see some gold.

333

But to be honest, I'm fully clothed right now.

334

And the closer I get,

335

the worse it's gonna look.

336

I'd rather you just imagine me as the doodletala and not have to see anything more.

337

What made you leave from Iran and come to the UK?

338

My parents were very forward thinking and they didn't have boys.

339

So me and my sister came over to England to be educated.

340

I'm very happy you're here and because you can't see me,

341

I'll come to you.

342

66 years in the UK,

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both of them smell like onion.

344

You guys had some poopy before the show?

345

Just kidding.

346

You smell amazing.

347

I love you so much.

348

Thank you for being here.

349

We learned so much tonight.

350

I gotta do this fast.

351

I'm taking the time and the second show's coming.

352

Huh?

353

Up here do what?

354

You wanna kiss?

355

She thinks it's free.

356

No, honey.

357

You pay VIP, you get cheese.

358

Colin, that's a beautiful part of the Middle East.

359

Algeria.

360

Wow.

361

Nice to see you.

362

I've never had anyone ever in 22 years of doing comedy at my show from Algeria.

363

I am so impressed you're here.

364

I'm so happy, Habibti, you showed up because Algerians are busy doing terrorist shit all the time.

365

Please don't blow up the building, okay?

366

I love you.

367

I'm totally kidding.

368

We're all terrorists.

369

In what...

370

Let me see.

371

Fridge.

372

I can't, I can't fucking read.

373

Dude, open the goddamn door so I can read it.

374

I do.

375

I sell fridges.

376

Okay, show it to everybody.

377

So you were prepared for this shit?

378

I got you four years ago?

379

How?

380

What do you really do?

381

What's your thing?

382

You work it?

383

Selfridges, London.

384

Self what?

385

Selfridges.

386

Selfridges?

387

I don't understand you.

388

Selfridges.

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This accent is crazy.

390

It was nice talking to you.

391

Selfridges, thanks for the announcement.

392

You sell perfume?

393

I mean, you got a very edgy look the last thing I thought,

394

you being in the mall, smells amazing.

395

Who's going to like the smell of this mall, Sam?

396

You're so freaking sensitive.

397

You're such a wuss.

398

Four years later, you buy front row tickets.

399

Buy a T-shirt.

400

You say, I said, Fidget.

401

You are the epitome of a doodletella.

402

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