Pratica di Shadowing: Communication Mistakes That Are Destroying Your Career Reputation at Work - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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What if I told you people who are super charismatic weren't born like that?
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They just figured out how to speak so people stay engaged and pay attention.
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As a communications expert who has now taught over 2 million people how to speak with confidence,
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I've figured out what real game changing moves can skyrocket your presence and likability.
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I have an Emmy award from my time working on TV, and I have a best selling communications book,
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smart, not loud, how to get noticed at work for all the right reasons.
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In this video, I'm gonna share with you for the first time,
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the four communication mistakes I made early on that sabotaged my ability to speak with confidence and charisma.
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But not only that, how you can learn to build that confidence yourself.
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It's not about being loud or obnoxious.
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It's about learning what are the power moves that you can use
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And these are all lessons that I've learned myself because right now, You might be hearing all this advice of,
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speak like you're giving a TED talk, or walk around the room when giving a presentation.
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No, these don't work, especially if you're speaking at work.
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In fact, these are some of the worst pieces of advice that can actually destroy people's perception of you, hurting your credibility and authority.
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How do I know this?
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Because this was the exact advice I heard myself and I realized it made me look so silly.
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No wonder I used to walk around the room wondering no one seemed to acknowledge or hear me.
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So, Here is the first mistake I made that I will never do again.
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Mistake number one.
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not believing in myself.
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Here's something a lot of people don't know about me.
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I grew up in an environment where my parents immigrated from Asia to the US.
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with the hopes of achieving that American dream, which for them was all about stability and safety.
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For them, that meant certain values, such as you just work hard,
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you just study hard, you put your head down so you can get a good job to achieve more stability.
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Frankly for them the only jobs that fell into that criteria were you can become a doctor a lawyer or an engineer.
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I Remember one day soon before I was graduating from college
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I remember sitting in my dining room table with my parents
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and we were having this conversation and they asked me well Jessica What do you want to do after you graduate now?
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I remember telling them I?
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I didn't feel like I had the interest to be a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer.
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And I told them instead, I wanted to become a journalist.
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My parents, they were shaken to the core because in their mind, they felt They didn't sacrifice everything.
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for their child to become a journalist, which in their mind, number one, they had no idea what that meant, but it also didn't seem stable.
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But this is what I said to them.
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I said, let me try, and if it doesn't work, I will go back to school.
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So that's what I did.
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I packed up all my bags and moved to a very small town called Reno, Nevada, and I got my very first job at the NBC station out there.
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And guess what happened?
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Three months into that job, I thought I had made the biggest mistake.
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You see, I went into the field of journalism
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because I wanted to make a difference and I had all these ideas and I felt people weren't hearing me.
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They weren't noticing me and they weren't taking my ideas seriously.
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So I was feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and I was like, wow, I really should have listened to my parents.
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Yes.
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One day I was on the phone with my best friend and like every best friend, she could tell I was feeling very sad.
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So we started talking about this.
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And what we realized was it wasn't that I wasn't a good journalist
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or that I didn't have the smarts to do the job.
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I actually had the talent.
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and I could be a great journalist.
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But the problem was, I didn't have the communication skills to help me reach that next level of respect and visibility.
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It's why I decided.
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then and there to double down how to become a better communicator.
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I trusted that I had the ability to learn the skill, and I thought if I invested in this, it could completely change the trajectory of my career.
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And guess what?
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That's exactly what it did.
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So this lesson taught me that at the end of the day, You have to start with yourself and you have to be your own best advocate.
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You have to trust that when you learn the skills, such as watching this high impact video, you can learn how to change people's perception of you.
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Now, eventually, I ended up staying and working on TV for almost 10 years and I won that prestigious Emmy award.
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And this reminds me to never make myself feel like
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I'm not enough or that I don't have the ability to get better.
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So remember what you say to yourself matters and for you, you have to start there.
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You have what it takes.
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which goes that into my second point.
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The second mistake is I'll never make again is assuming people know what I'm talking about.
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So imagine this for yourself.
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You spend time working on this one idea that you have.
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Now you're in a meeting with your team
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and you start talking about this idea and you are convinced people are just as excited.
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But as you look around the room, All you see are these, Blank faces.
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This is exactly what happened to me early on in my career too, and I made the mistake of assuming that people understood what I was talking about and why it mattered.
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I assumed people would just get why my idea was such a brilliant idea, but that's the thing.
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if you want to be a great communicator you need to
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avoid falling into what psychologists call the curse of knowledge trap it's this cognitive bias first named by economists
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and later popularized in the book made to stick
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and basically what it is is once you know something you almost forget what it's like to not know it
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so you unconsciously assume everybody gets it too but the reality is They don't.
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They are starting from scratch.
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So this is what I learned.
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Every time I walk into a meeting now and it's my turn to speak, I always do two things.
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I always provide some context and look at people's body language.
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Here's what this means.
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So when you speak, Anchor it by giving just one or two sentences explaining
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"Why does this matter right now?" What information do they need to understand why it's important?
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This is called communicating the process and it's a smart way to get people directly in the same headspace as you.
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So a sentence you could say is, So here's the situation we're working with, and here's why I think we need to act on it today.
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That's it.
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Next is your body language as you're speaking.
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Don't just stay in your own head, but look at people when you're speaking.
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See if they start to cross their arms, which can mean resistance.
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Look at them writing notes down as you're speaking because that's a good cue that something is sticking.
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Or if there's no expression, ask a question at the end to get them to engage.
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In fact, the most cited research on this analyzed over 25 ,000 sales calls
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and they found the ideal talk to listen ratio for salespeople is 43 % talking but 57 % listening.
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So How do you know your idea is gonna stick?
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You have to talk about it, but you have to make sure that you're giving them the space to listen
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and fully understand what it is you're talking about so it lands.
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Here's a third mistake I'll never make again.
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using language that minimizes my expertise.
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This is the one I almost am kind of embarrassed to admit because I didn't even know I was doing it.
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For example, I would say things like, I just wanted to quickly add something.
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Or, this might be a dumb question.
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Or, sorry, can I jump in?
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Does any of this sound familiar to you?
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Growing up in a pretty traditional family where I struggled to find my voice, I thought being humble meant diminishing my own ideas.
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And as a result, that translated into language that sounded like just those sentences you heard earlier.
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But what I was actually doing was signaling to people, including myself, that I didn't fully trust what I was saying and that it wasn't important.
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Researchers at Northeastern University found that people who use these hedging language phrases like I think,
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I feel, or maybe are usually rated as less competent and less confident by listeners,
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even when the content of what they said was identical to someone who said it directly.
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So, The words around your message changes how people perceive the message.
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Don't make the mistake of diluting your words with these fillers.
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Cut out the hedging words and own your statement.
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So here are some examples.
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Instead of...
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I think we should probably look at this differently.
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You can say: here's what I'm recommending.
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Instead of, "Does that make sense?" say, I'll pause here.
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Any questions?
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These are all the same thought.
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but delivered differently.
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Here's the fourth mistake.
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Assuming saying something once is enough.
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this is a big one
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and i actually have an entire chapter dedicated in my book
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smart not loud how to get noticed at work for all
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the right reasons where i talk about the art of how to follow up
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and i get it
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because sometimes it takes a lot of effort for us to put ourselves out there
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and now we're like i have to follow it up and say it again because following up can be so stressful be enough.
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But now I realize it is never enough.
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Now I want to share this really personal story with you because this is how I realized.
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Okay.
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Back when I was a journalist at the NBC station, there was one morning in particular when my manager walks into our typical editorial meetings
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and he told all of us reporters One of us would have the opportunity to fly with the US Air Force Thunderbirds.
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Now, if you're not familiar with who they are, they are an air demonstration squadron.
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They basically go from city to city to put on these air shows.
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And as part of their media campaign in the city, they were going to let one reporter fly with them.
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What do you think?
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Would you want to do it?
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My manager asked who wanted to do it.
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Now, I thought this was the coolest opportunity, so I raised my hand and told my manager I wanted to do it.
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He looks at me and he goes, okay, no problem, Jessica.
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We will get you a media pass.
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Two weeks passed by before the opportunity was going to happen, and I was just telling all my friends and my family
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that this was going to be this once in a lifetime opportunity that I was going to have the chance to do.
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Okay we're now sitting in our meeting once again
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and this is now the day before the air show is going to happen my manager says All right, US Air Force Thunderbirds.
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That's happening tomorrow.
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"Bella, you get to do it." Okay.
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Can you imagine my face in that moment?
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It really felt like my heart just fell to the pit of my stomach.
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Now my manager just went on with that meeting like nothing unusual happened.
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At the end of the meeting, it was bothering me so much because I remember him saying that I could do it,
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that I mustered up this courage to ask him, What happened?
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I'll never forget what he said.
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My manager looks at me and he goes, I'm Oh my God, Jessica, I'm so sorry.
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I completely forgot you mentioned you wanted to do it.
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It was just that Bella, she kept talking about it and she was top of mind.
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Thank you.
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Those words.
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Top of mind.
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Now, my colleague Bella, super talkative, not afraid to say what she wants.
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And I imagine during those days leading up to this project, she was telling my manager how she would love to do the story, how she was excited about doing the story.
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And honestly, I think what happened was
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when it came time for my manager to fill out a form who was going to do the air show, he was thinking, hmm, who was talking about it?
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Oh, Bella.
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I share with you this really personal story because it was a story that changed my life.
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It changed how I think about communications and it made me realize that saying something one time often is never enough.
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And for you, what you need to know is repeating yourself isn't about saying the same thing over and over again.
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It's about finding different ways to say what you want and using different platforms to get it across.
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So for example.
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Saying it once in an email.
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saying it again in a meeting, saying it via a text message you send.
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But the point is, you need someone to hear what you have to say, especially if this is something you care about.
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And if you don't believe the importance of this, cognitive psychology tells us that information typically needs to be encountered.
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five to seven times before it's fully retained.
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That's why it's so important to say something.
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over and over and here's the fifth mistake i will never make again thinking i need to be perfect
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before saying what's on my mind this is the one i personally struggled with the longest
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and honestly it's one that i see most people at work with struggle with as well
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because when i first started trying to communicate with this authority with this confidence i thought the answer was to
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more put together, sound more impressive.
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So I would try to walk into a room with this kind of armor and defensiveness.
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And the truth was, it was turning people off instead of having them see me
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as a human who was learning i think back to maybe they thought
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that i was trying too hard and i think
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when you are more junior or when you're talking to someone who has
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that authority like a manager
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or someone in a higher role you know you naturally feel
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like you have to present this image of yourself in order for them to respect you
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But what I have found is if you remind yourself that whoever you're speaking with They are just people too.
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And remembering that actually humanizes your approach and your communications.
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So Think about Well, I don't need to be perfect before I say what's on my mind.
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or say, This has to be the most viable thing in order for me to share it.
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Instead, think about this.
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What's valuable is actually subjective.
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You might not think it's viable or perfect, but to somebody else, if they hear it, they might think it's the most brilliant thing they've ever heard.
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And sometimes that's.
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What is most important?
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By the way, You can also ask a question.
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You can connect the dots.
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You can reiterate a point.
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It doesn't always have to be something new, but the point is, People hear you and see you because oftentimes when it comes down to work success,
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it's the visibility between whether somebody gets that next opportunity
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or somebody who just gets left behind because they never said that thing at all.
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For me, what I realized now is it's not about being perfect.
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It is about putting yourself out there and saying what's on your mind
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and trusting that once you do put that information out there, that is when the real progress can start to be made.
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Now, if you're thinking, "Well, I don't want to sound silly." The best communication strategy that I learned is saying this sentence.
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I'm still figuring this out, but I wanted to share it with you first.
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When you are honest and transparent, people actually respect you for it and they give you more grace.
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So Don't mute your voice.
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Instead, be open to communicating what you have to say.
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Be honest about it because at the end of the day, people don't necessarily want perfect.
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They want real and they want progress.
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Okay
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So these are the five mistakes that I made early in my career
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and the moves I used to help me be the person I am.
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And I can truly say confidently
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that the only reason why I have been able to teach now over 2 million people how to improve their communication skills,
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including teaching students at Columbia University, is because I now embody these characteristics.
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And after watching this, you now know what to do.
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But here's a flip.
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You got to believe in yourself.
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you can't assume people know what you're talking about don't use words
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that minimize who you are and say the thing more than once
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and get rid of this notion of you have to be perfect first
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if you want to go deeper on any of these points in my book smart not loud
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which is linked below i dive into these stories in a lot more detail
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and also if you want some of the tips from this book directly download these communication tips from my book.
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If you liked this video, be sure to like it and subscribe it because
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that is how you will get notified of all our future videos
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that are going to be coming out to help you get promoted, build visibility, and communicate with confidence.
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I will see you in our next video.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questo video contiene 237 frasi e 3057 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 19:07. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 160 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Il 87% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| journalist sostantivo | /ˈd͡ʒɝnəlɪst/ | giornalista |
| communicate verbo | /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/ | comunicare, informare |
| visibility sostantivo | /ˌvɪz.əˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/ | visibilità |
| lesson sostantivo | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | lezione |
| silly aggettivo | /ˈsɪl.i/ | sciocco |
| remind verbo | /ɹəˈmaɪnd/ | ricordare |
| reporter sostantivo | /ɹɪˈpoɹ.tɚ/ | giornalista, inviato |
| stability sostantivo | /stəˈbɪlɪti/ | stabilità |
| differently avverbio | /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/ | differentemente, diversamente |
| perception sostantivo | /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/ | percezione |
| cognitive aggettivo | /ˈkɑɡ.nɪ.tɪv/ | cognitivo |
| embarrassed aggettivo | /ɪmˈbæɹ.əst/ | imbarazzato |
| viable aggettivo | /ˈvaɪəbəl/ | vivibile |
| minimize verbo | /ˈmɪn.ɪˌmaɪz/ | minimizzare |
| hedge sostantivo | /ˈhɛd͡ʒ/ | siepe |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto | |
| cut out verbo | smetterla, finirla | |
| double down verbo | rincarare la dose | |
| end up verbo | andare a finire, finire | |
| fill out verbo | /fɪl ˈaʊt/ | compilare |
| put together verbo | assemblare, montare |
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | weren't born · were shaken · is called |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | has now taught · I've figured · I've learned |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | people who are · arms, which can · people who use |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 62 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, don't, didn't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, unusual /ʌnˈjuːʒ(u)əl/, ratio /ˈɹeɪ.ʃoʊ/, shake /ˈʃeɪk/, presentation /ˌpɹɛzn̩ˈteɪʃn̩/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, visibility /ˌvɪz.əˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/, stability /stəˈbɪlɪti/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come journalist, communicate, visibility.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.