Pratica di Shadowing: the conversation I couldn’t stop thinking about - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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Yeah, my friend said no to me.
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But strangely, I wasn't mad at him at all.
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I felt respected and I started to rethink everything I thought I knew about the word no.
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And that's what I want to talk about today.
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It feels like it's been a while.
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Welcome back to another episode of This is Hazel.
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This happened pretty recently because I've been thinking a lot about what I should do
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if I want to go back to acting again
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if you've seen some of my videos
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that i've made recently i yeah i i talked about it
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you probably know what i've been thinking about i've had
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so many questions in my head like should i go back to korea i mean the market
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that i know about this acting field is korea not in canada
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and also the language is difficult for me speaking english for the play and i don't know like i don't know
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and also like is starting this career again actually a realistic
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choice just i've these thoughts kept circling around in my head
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so i reached out to a friend i met this friend through acting i met him in my university
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and he's still working in the industry not as an actor
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but he is working in that industry
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and i thought he was probably one of the few people
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that i knew who could look at my situation objectively
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so i reached out
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because i wanted his help i told him what i'd been
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thinking about why i want to go back to acting again
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and without going back to korea was actually the right decision for me
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and everything to me it was a pretty serious and important conversation
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and honestly it was just so different from the kinds of things that we
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normally talked about so I had no idea how he was gonna take it.
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I don't always feel comfortable asking people for help, you know.
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I was already being really careful about reaching out to him because of this reason.
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But he listened to me and honestly explained the practical reasons behind his answer.
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He wasn't trying to emotionally comfort me.
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He wasn't trying to tell me what he thought I wanted to hear.
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He simply told me how he saw the reality of the situation.
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I can't really go into the details.
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I don't know how far I can go.
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I'm sorry.
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But basically, he told me he couldn't help me with it.
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He said, no, I can't help you.
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And the really strange thing was, I wasn't hurt at all.
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And even though that was not the answer that I expected from him, because that's not the person that I expected.
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Like he, I know him.
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He's not that kind of person maybe the time passed
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and he changed a little bit
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but his answer didn't make me give up it didn't make me stop wanting to act again even though
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that was a rejection i think it was more this person
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really took what i said seriously that's what i thought like
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that's how i felt he didn't just blindly support me you know
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but he also didn't dismiss my dream I had brought him a serious question
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and he gave me an equally serious and realistic answer.
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And for the first time, I thought maybe a rejection or a negative answer doesn't necessarily have to break me.
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Maybe sometimes someone is being honest because they actually respect me.
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And I think that's probably when I first started to realize that maybe no doesn't have to be cold or hurtful.
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Maybe if you genuinely respect someone, being honest with them can actually be kinder than giving them vague hope.
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I kept thinking about that conversation afterwards.
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Why did my friends no feel like a gift?
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It didn't feel like a no. And looking back, I think there were a few reasons.
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First, he really listened to me.
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He wasn't just waiting for his turn to speak to decline.
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He was fully in the conversation.
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On second, he acknowledged how I felt first.
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He started by saying yeah thank you for thinking of me for this like i'm glad
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that you called me third he didn't give me some vague
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answer instead of saying like i'm just really busy these days
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or like you know i don't know he actually told me
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the actual reason he was willing to have the difficult conversation with me on
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that honesty itself felt like kindness
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and the fourth one he spoke from his own perspective not
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like just the fact he said I don't think I can give this the attention it deserves right now
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so it wasn't about you like me it was about his own situation
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and what he was capable of I think those four things
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are why I felt respected even though I was being turned down
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when you say yes to people you get this immediate sense of relief you avoid conflict and you tell your brain,
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okay, I said yes.
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So the social danger just passed.
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It's almost like our nerve system learns to use people pleasing as a shortcut to avoid uncomfortable situations.
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The problem is that can eventually lead to burnout.
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When you say yes to everything, you're actually constantly saying no to yourself.
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No to your time, no to your energy, no to your own health and happiness.
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If you can say yes to people, that's a beautiful thing.
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But there are times when you simply can't help people.
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And if you can't say no in those moments,
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you will eventually find yourself with nothing left to give when someone actually really needs you.
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This experience completely changed the way I saw the word no.
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I think I used to think no was a negative word but now I see I see that as a powerful tool.
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Every time you say no to something you don't have the capacity for, you're actually saying yes to something that truly matters.
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You're saying yes to your mental health, you're saying yes to your family, you're saying yes to the projects that really matter to you.
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This isn't about my acting career, this isn't about my friend turning me down.
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My friend didn't teach me how to accept rejection.
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He taught me how to deliver a rejection with care.
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Real respect isn't about making someone happy in the exact moment.
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It's about being honest enough to prevent a bigger disappointment later.
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It's about caring enough about the relationship not to make a promise you can't keep.
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So I learned
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how to say no by being told no
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and ultimately i feel like we became better friends because of it if
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that makes sense what does the word no mean to you
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you've heard no from someone you of course experienced rejection in your life
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so i'm curious like how was your experience
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and tell me your story in the comments i'd really love to hear
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that and i can learn from it too so thank you for being here bye
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Informazioni su questa lezione
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.