Shadowing Practice: the conversation I couldn’t stop thinking about - Learn English Speaking with Video
Ders oluşturuluyor...
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Yeah, my friend said no to me.
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But strangely, I wasn't mad at him at all.
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I felt respected and I started to rethink everything I thought I knew about the word no.
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And that's what I want to talk about today.
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It feels like it's been a while.
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Welcome back to another episode of This is Hazel.
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This happened pretty recently because I've been thinking a lot about what I should do
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if I want to go back to acting again
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if you've seen some of my videos
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that i've made recently i yeah i i talked about it
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you probably know what i've been thinking about i've had
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so many questions in my head like should i go back to korea i mean the market
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that i know about this acting field is korea not in canada
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and also the language is difficult for me speaking english for the play and i don't know like i don't know
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and also like is starting this career again actually a realistic
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choice just i've these thoughts kept circling around in my head
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so i reached out to a friend i met this friend through acting i met him in my university
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and he's still working in the industry not as an actor
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but he is working in that industry
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and i thought he was probably one of the few people
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that i knew who could look at my situation objectively
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so i reached out
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because i wanted his help i told him what i'd been
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thinking about why i want to go back to acting again
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and without going back to korea was actually the right decision for me
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and everything to me it was a pretty serious and important conversation
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and honestly it was just so different from the kinds of things that we
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normally talked about so I had no idea how he was gonna take it.
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I don't always feel comfortable asking people for help, you know.
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I was already being really careful about reaching out to him because of this reason.
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But he listened to me and honestly explained the practical reasons behind his answer.
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He wasn't trying to emotionally comfort me.
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He wasn't trying to tell me what he thought I wanted to hear.
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He simply told me how he saw the reality of the situation.
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I can't really go into the details.
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I don't know how far I can go.
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I'm sorry.
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But basically, he told me he couldn't help me with it.
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He said, no, I can't help you.
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And the really strange thing was, I wasn't hurt at all.
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And even though that was not the answer that I expected from him, because that's not the person that I expected.
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Like he, I know him.
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He's not that kind of person maybe the time passed
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and he changed a little bit
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but his answer didn't make me give up it didn't make me stop wanting to act again even though
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that was a rejection i think it was more this person
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really took what i said seriously that's what i thought like
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that's how i felt he didn't just blindly support me you know
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but he also didn't dismiss my dream I had brought him a serious question
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and he gave me an equally serious and realistic answer.
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And for the first time, I thought maybe a rejection or a negative answer doesn't necessarily have to break me.
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Maybe sometimes someone is being honest because they actually respect me.
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And I think that's probably when I first started to realize that maybe no doesn't have to be cold or hurtful.
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Maybe if you genuinely respect someone, being honest with them can actually be kinder than giving them vague hope.
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I kept thinking about that conversation afterwards.
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Why did my friends no feel like a gift?
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It didn't feel like a no. And looking back, I think there were a few reasons.
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First, he really listened to me.
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He wasn't just waiting for his turn to speak to decline.
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He was fully in the conversation.
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On second, he acknowledged how I felt first.
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He started by saying yeah thank you for thinking of me for this like i'm glad
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that you called me third he didn't give me some vague
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answer instead of saying like i'm just really busy these days
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or like you know i don't know he actually told me
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the actual reason he was willing to have the difficult conversation with me on
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that honesty itself felt like kindness
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and the fourth one he spoke from his own perspective not
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like just the fact he said I don't think I can give this the attention it deserves right now
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so it wasn't about you like me it was about his own situation
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and what he was capable of I think those four things
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are why I felt respected even though I was being turned down
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when you say yes to people you get this immediate sense of relief you avoid conflict and you tell your brain,
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okay, I said yes.
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So the social danger just passed.
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It's almost like our nerve system learns to use people pleasing as a shortcut to avoid uncomfortable situations.
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The problem is that can eventually lead to burnout.
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When you say yes to everything, you're actually constantly saying no to yourself.
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No to your time, no to your energy, no to your own health and happiness.
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If you can say yes to people, that's a beautiful thing.
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But there are times when you simply can't help people.
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And if you can't say no in those moments,
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you will eventually find yourself with nothing left to give when someone actually really needs you.
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This experience completely changed the way I saw the word no.
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I think I used to think no was a negative word but now I see I see that as a powerful tool.
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Every time you say no to something you don't have the capacity for, you're actually saying yes to something that truly matters.
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You're saying yes to your mental health, you're saying yes to your family, you're saying yes to the projects that really matter to you.
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This isn't about my acting career, this isn't about my friend turning me down.
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My friend didn't teach me how to accept rejection.
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He taught me how to deliver a rejection with care.
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Real respect isn't about making someone happy in the exact moment.
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It's about being honest enough to prevent a bigger disappointment later.
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It's about caring enough about the relationship not to make a promise you can't keep.
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So I learned
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how to say no by being told no
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and ultimately i feel like we became better friends because of it if
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that makes sense what does the word no mean to you
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you've heard no from someone you of course experienced rejection in your life
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so i'm curious like how was your experience
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and tell me your story in the comments i'd really love to hear
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that and i can learn from it too so thank you for being here bye
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 101 cümle ve 1190 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 7:19 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 163 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %86’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 14 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| realistic sıfat | /ˌɹɪəˈlɪs.tɪk/ | gerçekçi |
| vague sıfat | /veɪɡ/ | anlaşılmaz, belirsiz |
| curious sıfat | /ˈkjʊɹ.i.əs/ | meraklı |
| happiness isim | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | mutluluk, saadet |
| afterwards zarf | /ˈæf.tɚ.wɚdz/ | sonradan, daha sonra |
| comfort isim | /ˈkʌm.fət/ | konfor |
| nerve isim | /nɝv/ | sinir |
| uncomfortable sıfat | /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/ | rahatsız |
| disappointment isim | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/ | hayal kırıklığı |
| kindness isim | /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/ | incelik, kibarlık |
| honesty isim | /ˈɑ.nɪ.sti/ | dürüstlük |
| blindly zarf | /ˈblaɪndli/ | körü körüne |
| rethink fiil | /ɹiːˈθɪŋk/ | tekrardan düşünmek |
| shortcut isim | /ˈʃɔːtkʌt/ | kestirme, kestirme yol |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı didn't, don't, wasn't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 50 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, shortcut /ˈʃɔːtkʌt/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; realistic, vague, curious gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — önceden başlayıp hâlâ süren bir eylem | I've been thinking |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | you've seen · i've made · you've heard |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | wasn't hurt · being turned · being told |
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.