Shadowing Practice: the conversation I couldn’t stop thinking about - Learn English Speaking with Video
Les maken...
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Yeah, my friend said no to me.
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But strangely, I wasn't mad at him at all.
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I felt respected and I started to rethink everything I thought I knew about the word no.
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And that's what I want to talk about today.
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It feels like it's been a while.
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Welcome back to another episode of This is Hazel.
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This happened pretty recently because I've been thinking a lot about what I should do
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if I want to go back to acting again
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if you've seen some of my videos
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that i've made recently i yeah i i talked about it
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you probably know what i've been thinking about i've had
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so many questions in my head like should i go back to korea i mean the market
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that i know about this acting field is korea not in canada
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and also the language is difficult for me speaking english for the play and i don't know like i don't know
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and also like is starting this career again actually a realistic
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choice just i've these thoughts kept circling around in my head
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so i reached out to a friend i met this friend through acting i met him in my university
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and he's still working in the industry not as an actor
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but he is working in that industry
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and i thought he was probably one of the few people
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that i knew who could look at my situation objectively
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so i reached out
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because i wanted his help i told him what i'd been
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thinking about why i want to go back to acting again
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and without going back to korea was actually the right decision for me
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and everything to me it was a pretty serious and important conversation
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and honestly it was just so different from the kinds of things that we
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normally talked about so I had no idea how he was gonna take it.
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I don't always feel comfortable asking people for help, you know.
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I was already being really careful about reaching out to him because of this reason.
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But he listened to me and honestly explained the practical reasons behind his answer.
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He wasn't trying to emotionally comfort me.
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He wasn't trying to tell me what he thought I wanted to hear.
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He simply told me how he saw the reality of the situation.
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I can't really go into the details.
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I don't know how far I can go.
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I'm sorry.
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But basically, he told me he couldn't help me with it.
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He said, no, I can't help you.
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And the really strange thing was, I wasn't hurt at all.
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And even though that was not the answer that I expected from him, because that's not the person that I expected.
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Like he, I know him.
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He's not that kind of person maybe the time passed
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and he changed a little bit
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but his answer didn't make me give up it didn't make me stop wanting to act again even though
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that was a rejection i think it was more this person
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really took what i said seriously that's what i thought like
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that's how i felt he didn't just blindly support me you know
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but he also didn't dismiss my dream I had brought him a serious question
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and he gave me an equally serious and realistic answer.
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And for the first time, I thought maybe a rejection or a negative answer doesn't necessarily have to break me.
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Maybe sometimes someone is being honest because they actually respect me.
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And I think that's probably when I first started to realize that maybe no doesn't have to be cold or hurtful.
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Maybe if you genuinely respect someone, being honest with them can actually be kinder than giving them vague hope.
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I kept thinking about that conversation afterwards.
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Why did my friends no feel like a gift?
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It didn't feel like a no. And looking back, I think there were a few reasons.
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First, he really listened to me.
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He wasn't just waiting for his turn to speak to decline.
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He was fully in the conversation.
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On second, he acknowledged how I felt first.
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He started by saying yeah thank you for thinking of me for this like i'm glad
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that you called me third he didn't give me some vague
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answer instead of saying like i'm just really busy these days
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or like you know i don't know he actually told me
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the actual reason he was willing to have the difficult conversation with me on
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that honesty itself felt like kindness
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and the fourth one he spoke from his own perspective not
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like just the fact he said I don't think I can give this the attention it deserves right now
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so it wasn't about you like me it was about his own situation
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and what he was capable of I think those four things
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are why I felt respected even though I was being turned down
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when you say yes to people you get this immediate sense of relief you avoid conflict and you tell your brain,
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okay, I said yes.
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So the social danger just passed.
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It's almost like our nerve system learns to use people pleasing as a shortcut to avoid uncomfortable situations.
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The problem is that can eventually lead to burnout.
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When you say yes to everything, you're actually constantly saying no to yourself.
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No to your time, no to your energy, no to your own health and happiness.
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If you can say yes to people, that's a beautiful thing.
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But there are times when you simply can't help people.
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And if you can't say no in those moments,
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you will eventually find yourself with nothing left to give when someone actually really needs you.
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This experience completely changed the way I saw the word no.
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I think I used to think no was a negative word but now I see I see that as a powerful tool.
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Every time you say no to something you don't have the capacity for, you're actually saying yes to something that truly matters.
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You're saying yes to your mental health, you're saying yes to your family, you're saying yes to the projects that really matter to you.
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This isn't about my acting career, this isn't about my friend turning me down.
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My friend didn't teach me how to accept rejection.
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He taught me how to deliver a rejection with care.
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Real respect isn't about making someone happy in the exact moment.
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It's about being honest enough to prevent a bigger disappointment later.
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It's about caring enough about the relationship not to make a promise you can't keep.
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So I learned
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how to say no by being told no
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and ultimately i feel like we became better friends because of it if
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that makes sense what does the word no mean to you
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you've heard no from someone you of course experienced rejection in your life
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so i'm curious like how was your experience
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and tell me your story in the comments i'd really love to hear
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that and i can learn from it too so thank you for being here bye
📺 Zelfde Kanaal
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze video bevat 101 zinnen en 1190 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 7:19. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 163 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 86% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| rejection zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/ | afwijzing |
| realistic bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˌɹɪəˈlɪs.tɪk/ | realistisch |
| vague bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /veɪɡ/ | vaag |
| necessarily bijwoord | /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/ | nodig, noodzakelijk |
| practical bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.kəl/ | praktisch |
| curious bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈkjʊɹ.i.əs/ | nieuwsgierig |
| happiness zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | blijheid, blijdschap |
| afterwards bijwoord | /ˈæf.tɚ.wɚdz/ | nadien, achteraf |
| comfort zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈkʌm.fət/ | comfort, gemak |
| decline werkwoord | /dɪˈklaɪn/ | afnemen, terugvallen |
| equally bijwoord | /ˈiːkwəli/ | even, gelijk |
| nerve zelfstandig naamwoord | /nɝv/ | zenuw, neuronenbundel |
| uncomfortable bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/ | ongemakkelijk |
| acknowledge werkwoord | /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/ | bekennen, erkennen |
| disappointment zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/ | teleurstelling |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| give up werkwoord | zich overgeven |
| look back werkwoord | achterom kijken, terugkijken |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 50 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals didn't, don't, wasn't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, shortcut /ˈʃɔːtkʌt/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als rejection, realistic, vague.
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — iets dat eerder begon en nog bezig is | I've been thinking |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | you've seen · i've made · you've heard |
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | wasn't hurt · being turned · being told |
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.