Shadowing Practice: the conversation I couldn’t stop thinking about - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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Yeah, my friend said no to me.
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But strangely, I wasn't mad at him at all.
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I felt respected and I started to rethink everything I thought I knew about the word no.
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And that's what I want to talk about today.
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It feels like it's been a while.
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Welcome back to another episode of This is Hazel.
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This happened pretty recently because I've been thinking a lot about what I should do
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if I want to go back to acting again
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if you've seen some of my videos
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that i've made recently i yeah i i talked about it
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you probably know what i've been thinking about i've had
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so many questions in my head like should i go back to korea i mean the market
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that i know about this acting field is korea not in canada
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and also the language is difficult for me speaking english for the play and i don't know like i don't know
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and also like is starting this career again actually a realistic
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choice just i've these thoughts kept circling around in my head
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so i reached out to a friend i met this friend through acting i met him in my university
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and he's still working in the industry not as an actor
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but he is working in that industry
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and i thought he was probably one of the few people
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that i knew who could look at my situation objectively
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so i reached out
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because i wanted his help i told him what i'd been
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thinking about why i want to go back to acting again
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and without going back to korea was actually the right decision for me
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and everything to me it was a pretty serious and important conversation
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and honestly it was just so different from the kinds of things that we
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normally talked about so I had no idea how he was gonna take it.
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I don't always feel comfortable asking people for help, you know.
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I was already being really careful about reaching out to him because of this reason.
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But he listened to me and honestly explained the practical reasons behind his answer.
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He wasn't trying to emotionally comfort me.
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He wasn't trying to tell me what he thought I wanted to hear.
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He simply told me how he saw the reality of the situation.
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I can't really go into the details.
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I don't know how far I can go.
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I'm sorry.
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But basically, he told me he couldn't help me with it.
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He said, no, I can't help you.
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And the really strange thing was, I wasn't hurt at all.
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And even though that was not the answer that I expected from him, because that's not the person that I expected.
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Like he, I know him.
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He's not that kind of person maybe the time passed
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and he changed a little bit
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but his answer didn't make me give up it didn't make me stop wanting to act again even though
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that was a rejection i think it was more this person
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really took what i said seriously that's what i thought like
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that's how i felt he didn't just blindly support me you know
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but he also didn't dismiss my dream I had brought him a serious question
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and he gave me an equally serious and realistic answer.
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And for the first time, I thought maybe a rejection or a negative answer doesn't necessarily have to break me.
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Maybe sometimes someone is being honest because they actually respect me.
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And I think that's probably when I first started to realize that maybe no doesn't have to be cold or hurtful.
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Maybe if you genuinely respect someone, being honest with them can actually be kinder than giving them vague hope.
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I kept thinking about that conversation afterwards.
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Why did my friends no feel like a gift?
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It didn't feel like a no. And looking back, I think there were a few reasons.
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First, he really listened to me.
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He wasn't just waiting for his turn to speak to decline.
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He was fully in the conversation.
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On second, he acknowledged how I felt first.
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He started by saying yeah thank you for thinking of me for this like i'm glad
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that you called me third he didn't give me some vague
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answer instead of saying like i'm just really busy these days
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or like you know i don't know he actually told me
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the actual reason he was willing to have the difficult conversation with me on
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that honesty itself felt like kindness
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and the fourth one he spoke from his own perspective not
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like just the fact he said I don't think I can give this the attention it deserves right now
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so it wasn't about you like me it was about his own situation
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and what he was capable of I think those four things
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are why I felt respected even though I was being turned down
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when you say yes to people you get this immediate sense of relief you avoid conflict and you tell your brain,
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okay, I said yes.
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So the social danger just passed.
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It's almost like our nerve system learns to use people pleasing as a shortcut to avoid uncomfortable situations.
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The problem is that can eventually lead to burnout.
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When you say yes to everything, you're actually constantly saying no to yourself.
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No to your time, no to your energy, no to your own health and happiness.
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If you can say yes to people, that's a beautiful thing.
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But there are times when you simply can't help people.
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And if you can't say no in those moments,
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you will eventually find yourself with nothing left to give when someone actually really needs you.
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This experience completely changed the way I saw the word no.
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I think I used to think no was a negative word but now I see I see that as a powerful tool.
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Every time you say no to something you don't have the capacity for, you're actually saying yes to something that truly matters.
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You're saying yes to your mental health, you're saying yes to your family, you're saying yes to the projects that really matter to you.
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This isn't about my acting career, this isn't about my friend turning me down.
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My friend didn't teach me how to accept rejection.
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He taught me how to deliver a rejection with care.
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Real respect isn't about making someone happy in the exact moment.
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It's about being honest enough to prevent a bigger disappointment later.
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It's about caring enough about the relationship not to make a promise you can't keep.
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So I learned
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how to say no by being told no
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and ultimately i feel like we became better friends because of it if
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that makes sense what does the word no mean to you
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you've heard no from someone you of course experienced rejection in your life
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so i'm curious like how was your experience
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and tell me your story in the comments i'd really love to hear
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that and i can learn from it too so thank you for being here bye
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 101 sentences and 1190 words to shadow. The speech runs for 7:19. The speaker talks at a natural 163 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| rejection noun | /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/ | The act of rejecting. |
| realistic adjective | /ˌɹɪəˈlɪs.tɪk/ | Expressed or represented as being accurate, practicable, or not idealistic. |
| vague adjective | /veɪɡ/ | Not clearly expressed; stated in indefinite terms. |
| necessarily adverb | /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/ | Inevitably; of necessity. |
| practical adjective | /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.kəl/ | Relating to, or based on, practice or action rather than theory or hypothesis. |
| curious adjective | /ˈkjʊɹ.i.əs/ | Tending to ask questions, or to want to explore or investigate; inquisitive; (with a negative connotation) nosy, prying. |
| happiness noun | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | The emotion of being happy; joy; elation. |
| afterwards adverb | /ˈæf.tɚ.wɚdz/ | At a later or succeeding time; after that; |
| comfort noun | /ˈkʌm.fət/ | Contentment, ease. |
| decline verb | /dɪˈklaɪn/ | To move downwards, to fall, to drop. |
| equally adverb | /ˈiːkwəli/ | In an equal manner; in equal shares or proportion; with equal and impartial justice; evenly |
| nerve noun | /nɝv/ | A bundle of neurons with their connective tissue sheaths, blood vessels and lymphatics. |
| uncomfortable adjective | /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/ | Not comfortable; causing discomfort. |
| acknowledge verb | /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/ | To admit the knowledge of; to recognize as a fact or truth; to declare one's belief in. |
| genuinely adverb | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | In a genuine manner; truthfully, truly. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| go back to verb | To stem from; to originate in. |
| give up verb | To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone). |
| look back verb | To think of (past events) in retrospect (in hindsight). |
| reach out verb | To extend one's hand(s) forward; to reach for something. |
| turn down verb | To refuse, decline, or deny. |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 50 contractions and reduced forms, such as didn't, don't, wasn't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, shortcut /ˈʃɔːtkʌt/
- Long words — get the stress right: necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like rejection, realistic, vague.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | I've been thinking |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | you've seen · i've made · you've heard |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | wasn't hurt · being turned · being told |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.