Shadowing Practice: why i stopped asking - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Are you looking for advice today?
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Maybe you don't need it.
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Have you ever received advice from someone you love, like your parents or your friend, but somehow it just didn't feel right?
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Well, I just wanted to make this video to tell you that you don't have to take that advice.
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And this isn't about being ungrateful or rebellious, these are just some things I've been thinking about on going through myself.
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As someone who makes YouTube videos where I share my thoughts and try to answer people's questions,
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because I sometimes post like questions on Instagram and get some answers
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and try to I don't know react to it
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and as someone who also watches YouTube videos
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and listens to other people's stories I really hope my videos don't just become advice for someone.
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I hope they can simply be a little bit of inspiration instead not like advice something
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that makes you think then something that tells you what to do.
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We're constantly surrounded by advice that comes from a good place.
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We are encouraged to follow the choices of people who seem to have everything figured out, to follow that formula for success.
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But I don't think that path will always lead us to a life
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that makes us happy because their advice will take you to where they are not where you want to be.
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So welcome back to this episode of This Hazel.
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you know i think most advice actually comes from love
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and that's what makes it so hard to dislike
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or ignore like your parents want you to have a secure future
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so they encourage you to choose a stable
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or a reasonable practical career even if the dream you had growing up was something
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that completely different your friends start getting married and buying houses
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and suddenly people start asking you when you're gonna do the same thing.
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And it's funny because just five minutes ago, you felt pretty sure about the direction you were going in,
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but then this little feeling of anxiety starts, you know, growing.
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Because you feel like you are falling behind, like everyone else is following the right path, right timeline, and somehow you're not because you're different.
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I think it's pretty natural thing that happens
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when we are trying to figure out our own lives while being surrounded by other people's expectations.
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Even when advice comes from a place of genuine love, support and concern, it's still based on the other people's expectations,
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values and also like fears and stuff.
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We see the life that made them happy but we sometimes forget
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that our idea of happiness might be very different from theirs.
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Also we hear about the right way to build a life
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but we don't always hear about what they had to give up there to get
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that right way of their life and maybe those are things that we are not willing to give up ourselves.
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For some of you who are new to this channel, I'll give you a little background of myself.
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I used to act in Korea.
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I was an actor in Korea, mostly on the stage but sometimes in front of the cameras too.
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After moving to Vancouver, I worked at the company doing marketing and design
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and now I'm freelancing on teaching Korean my language as well I'll leave a link below in case you're interested
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but anyway okay just imagine I was a kid I was like 16 17 18
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and I'm saying that like I want to be an actor
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so I heard
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so many people express their concerns about me pursuing art
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you can imagine right
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I went to a high school where most students did really
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well academically like they wanted to be a doctor lawyer like this kind of studying for kids um yeah
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it was pretty common studying from like 9 a .m to like 10 p .m
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and then go to academy after that
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and they study studying a lot of hours right
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and it wasn't really the kind of place where people considered going into the arts
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so I naturally started hiding the fact that I wanted to be an actor
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and I was preparing for it
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because I wanted to go to the university for it I just didn't think
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that the students or like my friends would understand or relate to
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that dream of course I told my best best friends that
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but in general I didn't tell anyone about it
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but it's not like that made me unhappy I was not sad about it
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if anything I think it showed how much
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that dream meant to me it had already grown
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so big inside me that I didn't really need other people's support to keep it alive
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if that makes sense just having that dream was enough to make me feel fulfilled
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but even back then at
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that young age I think I was already aware of how much other people's support concerns
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and even like a tiny curiosity could affect my decisions.
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I knew how easily I could be swayed by what other people thought.
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I think what's even harder is that we want to make these people happy too.
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We understand that they mean well.
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We know they care about us but when we keep trying to fit ourselves into a life that doesn't feel like ours,
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we slowly start to lose ourselves.
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That's where things can get dangerous because because when we spend too much time trying to meet other people's expectations,
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we can slowly move further and further away from who we actually are and that happened to me too.
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The real problem isn't just feeling confused, it's what happened when we start making decisions based on that confusion.
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Sometimes we get so caught up in other people's definitions of happiness
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and success that we forget to ask ourselves what those things even mean to us.
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Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to do something related to arts.
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It's always been there.
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The specific thing that I wanted to do changed over the years.
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Like I wanted to be a singer, I wanted to be an actor, like it always changed.
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But it was always something creative or something connected to art.
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And just think about how much your values and interests can change as you go through school,
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go to university and meet different friends and start working.
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Then when I moved to another country, I think I became even more confused about what I actually wanted.
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And to be honest, I still am.
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When I'm doing something creative, I feel so happy that I think, yes, this is it.
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This is what I want to do.
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But then I meet someone who's very focused on making money, like financial plans and the whole thing.
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And suddenly I'm like, right, money is probably the most important thing like it's it's huge it's powerful let's just make money
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and i can read a book that reminds me how important family is
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and i think yeah family that's what matters the most
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and i spend more time on my own become more comfortable being alone and i start feeling like there's something
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almost spiritual about loneliness and i received
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so much advice throughout all of this i've listened to
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so many different perspectives and I've tried to make sense of all these different ways of living.
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But the older I get, the more certain I become of one thing.
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I'm the one who has to figure this out.
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There is no shortcut to understanding myself and I don't think you can simply follow someone's advice and skip that whole process.
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One thing I feel a little sad about is that
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when I was studying acting i spent
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so much time with this bright -eyed people in their 20s who all dreamed of becoming actors
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i don't really know what your university experience was like
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because i've heard a lot about like a team project
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and some people don't really show up i have to do the presentation
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but no one really helps me to do like it's annoying to be in the team project
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but for acting students all of this really was the dream
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so we'd work on group projects or put on little performances like everyone's
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so into it like we are just so genuinely passionate about this project
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so like even though someone's busy with something else we don't care it's just our passion
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so so we spend our days and nights at school eating sleeping we i actually slept
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at school to do the better work for the project
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and creating things together it was just nobody was forcing us to do any of it we were there
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because we genuinely wanted to be it was such a beautiful experience to be part of it
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and i also got to watch those people grow up to graduating the university
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and then looking for the actual work some of them eventually realized oh being an actor
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it's actually hard to make money doing this
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and money is really important to me
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so I'll just go get a regular job
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and other people came to a different realization you know what money
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that's not very important to me I can live with less money
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and then still be happy I'll just chase my dream
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because that's my passion and I think both are completely valid choices but when When I look at my situation,
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I feel like I still haven't figured that out.
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I don't think that I've really decided what I'm willing to give up
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and what I absolutely don't want to let go of.
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Did I want to become an artist who had very little money but a rich inner world?
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Or did I want to look back on those days and say just like,
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those were good times while going to work at a regular office shop.
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Honestly, I don't think either of those feels quite right for me and that's why I still don't know.
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I'm not complaining about the advice that I received.
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I didn't really have all the people in my life who constantly pushed the advice on me.
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My parents even, they were not the kind of people who forced me to do things.
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They were supportive.
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They were just waiting for me.
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I'm just talking about the general idea here.
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The power of experiencing things for yourself and why other people's advice doesn't really have to influence your decisions.
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I think the big part of feeling happy and fulfilled comes from knowing
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that we are making our own choices and that those choices reflect what really matters to us.
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It's not that people give bad advice.
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It's that the answer that works best for them might be completely wrong for you.
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If there were just one piece of advice that worked for everyone, wouldn't life be so much easier?
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So what do we do?
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How do we find our way back to ourselves?
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We have to become a little more comfortable with not having everyone's approval.
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And we have to accept that figuring out what kind of life we want is going to be messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes confusing.
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I think the first step is to spend more time with yourself.
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Maybe that means spending time alone.
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Another thing we can learn to do is just recognize when someone else's idea of a good life starts influencing our choices.
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Do you feel pressured to choose something because it looks impressive than because it feels right to you?
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Are you adopting certain goals just because the people you love expect you to have them?
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And I want to be better at this myself too.
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I want to be more open about things I'm still struggling with and the things I haven't figured out yet.
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I want to give myself more opportunities to be honest about those things
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and I hope this channel can be a place where I can do that.
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I also hope that when people talk to each other in the comments, they feel like they can be honest too.
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Not because we have all the answers, but because we're trying to figure things out in our own ways.
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You don't need to have everything figured out right now
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Because at the end of the day
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No one else can live your life for you
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And no matter how much they love you
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They can't figure out what makes your life meaningful on your behalf
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And that's something only you can discover
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Yeah Thank you for today
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And let me know what you think in the comments
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Talk to you soon I think I like me I think I like me I like the way I look
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And I like the way I feel
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When I take my clothes off
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Oh, I'll take my clothes off
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And just be real
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People will wonder
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How I got this way
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How I did it
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They don't understand
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That life's not about getting there
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It's just about being
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On Saturdays, Saturdays where I can be myself I take my insecurities
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and put them on a shelf I think I like me
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “why i stopped asking”. This video has 177 sentences and 2214 words to shadow. The speech runs for 13:22. The speaker talks at a natural 166 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| expectation noun | /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/ | The act or state of expecting or looking forward to an event as about to happen. |
| confused adjective | /kənˈfjuːzd/ | unable to think clearly or understand |
| encourage verb | /ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/ | To mentally support; to motivate, give courage, hope or spirit. |
| happiness noun | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | The emotion of being happy; joy; elation. |
| passion noun | /ˈpæʃən/ | A true desire sustained or prolonged. |
| genuinely adverb | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | In a genuine manner; truthfully, truly. |
| cloth noun | /klɒθ/ | A fabric, usually made of woven, knitted, or felted fibres or filaments, such as used in dressing, decorating, cleaning or other practical use. Sometimes… |
| fulfill verb | /fʊlˈfɪl/ | To satisfy, carry out, bring to completion (an obligation, a requirement, etc.). |
| surround verb | /səˈɹaʊnd/ | To encircle something or simultaneously extend in all directions. |
| ignore verb | /ɪɡˈnɔː/ | To deliberately not listen or pay attention to. |
| naturally adverb | /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/ | In a natural manner. |
| practical adjective | /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.kəl/ | Relating to, or based on, practice or action rather than theory or hypothesis. |
| stable noun | /ˈsteɪ.bəl/ | A building, wing or dependency set apart and adapted for lodging and feeding (and training) ungulates, especially horses. |
| impressive adjective | /ɪmˈpɹɛsɪv/ | Making, or tending to make, a positive impression; having power to impress. |
| anxiety noun | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | An unpleasant state of mental uneasiness, nervousness, apprehension and obsession or concern about some uncertain event. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
| give up verb | To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone). |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. |
| fall behind verb | To be late (for a regular event) |
| grow up verb | To mature and become an adult. |
| show up verb | To appear, arrive, or attend, especially suddenly or erratically. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Are you looking for advice today?
- Maybe you don't need it.
- I'm the one who has to figure this out.
- I feel like I still haven't figured that out.
- How do we find our way back to ourselves?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | Have you ever received · I've always wanted · It's always been |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | someone who makes · someone who also · people who seem |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are encouraged · being surrounded · could be swayed |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 58 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, I've. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: cloth /klɒθ/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, passion /ˈpæʃən/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, presentation /ˌpɹɛzn̩ˈteɪʃn̩/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/
- Long words — get the stress right: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like expectation, confused, encourage.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.