Shadowing Practice: why i stopped asking - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Are you looking for advice today?
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Maybe you don't need it.
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Have you ever received advice from someone you love, like your parents or your friend, but somehow it just didn't feel right?
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Well, I just wanted to make this video to tell you that you don't have to take that advice.
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And this isn't about being ungrateful or rebellious, these are just some things I've been thinking about on going through myself.
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As someone who makes YouTube videos where I share my thoughts and try to answer people's questions,
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because I sometimes post like questions on Instagram and get some answers
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and try to I don't know react to it
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and as someone who also watches YouTube videos
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and listens to other people's stories I really hope my videos don't just become advice for someone.
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I hope they can simply be a little bit of inspiration instead not like advice something
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that makes you think then something that tells you what to do.
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We're constantly surrounded by advice that comes from a good place.
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We are encouraged to follow the choices of people who seem to have everything figured out, to follow that formula for success.
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But I don't think that path will always lead us to a life
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that makes us happy because their advice will take you to where they are not where you want to be.
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So welcome back to this episode of This Hazel.
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you know i think most advice actually comes from love
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and that's what makes it so hard to dislike
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or ignore like your parents want you to have a secure future
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so they encourage you to choose a stable
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or a reasonable practical career even if the dream you had growing up was something
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that completely different your friends start getting married and buying houses
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and suddenly people start asking you when you're gonna do the same thing.
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And it's funny because just five minutes ago, you felt pretty sure about the direction you were going in,
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but then this little feeling of anxiety starts, you know, growing.
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Because you feel like you are falling behind, like everyone else is following the right path, right timeline, and somehow you're not because you're different.
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I think it's pretty natural thing that happens
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when we are trying to figure out our own lives while being surrounded by other people's expectations.
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Even when advice comes from a place of genuine love, support and concern, it's still based on the other people's expectations,
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values and also like fears and stuff.
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We see the life that made them happy but we sometimes forget
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that our idea of happiness might be very different from theirs.
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Also we hear about the right way to build a life
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but we don't always hear about what they had to give up there to get
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that right way of their life and maybe those are things that we are not willing to give up ourselves.
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For some of you who are new to this channel, I'll give you a little background of myself.
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I used to act in Korea.
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I was an actor in Korea, mostly on the stage but sometimes in front of the cameras too.
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After moving to Vancouver, I worked at the company doing marketing and design
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and now I'm freelancing on teaching Korean my language as well I'll leave a link below in case you're interested
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but anyway okay just imagine I was a kid I was like 16 17 18
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and I'm saying that like I want to be an actor
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so I heard
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so many people express their concerns about me pursuing art
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you can imagine right
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I went to a high school where most students did really
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well academically like they wanted to be a doctor lawyer like this kind of studying for kids um yeah
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it was pretty common studying from like 9 a .m to like 10 p .m
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and then go to academy after that
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and they study studying a lot of hours right
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and it wasn't really the kind of place where people considered going into the arts
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so I naturally started hiding the fact that I wanted to be an actor
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and I was preparing for it
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because I wanted to go to the university for it I just didn't think
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that the students or like my friends would understand or relate to
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that dream of course I told my best best friends that
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but in general I didn't tell anyone about it
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but it's not like that made me unhappy I was not sad about it
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if anything I think it showed how much
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that dream meant to me it had already grown
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so big inside me that I didn't really need other people's support to keep it alive
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if that makes sense just having that dream was enough to make me feel fulfilled
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but even back then at
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that young age I think I was already aware of how much other people's support concerns
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and even like a tiny curiosity could affect my decisions.
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I knew how easily I could be swayed by what other people thought.
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I think what's even harder is that we want to make these people happy too.
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We understand that they mean well.
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We know they care about us but when we keep trying to fit ourselves into a life that doesn't feel like ours,
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we slowly start to lose ourselves.
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That's where things can get dangerous because because when we spend too much time trying to meet other people's expectations,
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we can slowly move further and further away from who we actually are and that happened to me too.
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The real problem isn't just feeling confused, it's what happened when we start making decisions based on that confusion.
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Sometimes we get so caught up in other people's definitions of happiness
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and success that we forget to ask ourselves what those things even mean to us.
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Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to do something related to arts.
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It's always been there.
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The specific thing that I wanted to do changed over the years.
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Like I wanted to be a singer, I wanted to be an actor, like it always changed.
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But it was always something creative or something connected to art.
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And just think about how much your values and interests can change as you go through school,
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go to university and meet different friends and start working.
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Then when I moved to another country, I think I became even more confused about what I actually wanted.
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And to be honest, I still am.
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When I'm doing something creative, I feel so happy that I think, yes, this is it.
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This is what I want to do.
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But then I meet someone who's very focused on making money, like financial plans and the whole thing.
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And suddenly I'm like, right, money is probably the most important thing like it's it's huge it's powerful let's just make money
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and i can read a book that reminds me how important family is
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and i think yeah family that's what matters the most
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and i spend more time on my own become more comfortable being alone and i start feeling like there's something
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almost spiritual about loneliness and i received
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so much advice throughout all of this i've listened to
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so many different perspectives and I've tried to make sense of all these different ways of living.
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But the older I get, the more certain I become of one thing.
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I'm the one who has to figure this out.
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There is no shortcut to understanding myself and I don't think you can simply follow someone's advice and skip that whole process.
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One thing I feel a little sad about is that
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when I was studying acting i spent
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so much time with this bright -eyed people in their 20s who all dreamed of becoming actors
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i don't really know what your university experience was like
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because i've heard a lot about like a team project
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and some people don't really show up i have to do the presentation
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but no one really helps me to do like it's annoying to be in the team project
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but for acting students all of this really was the dream
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so we'd work on group projects or put on little performances like everyone's
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so into it like we are just so genuinely passionate about this project
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so like even though someone's busy with something else we don't care it's just our passion
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so so we spend our days and nights at school eating sleeping we i actually slept
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at school to do the better work for the project
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and creating things together it was just nobody was forcing us to do any of it we were there
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because we genuinely wanted to be it was such a beautiful experience to be part of it
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and i also got to watch those people grow up to graduating the university
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and then looking for the actual work some of them eventually realized oh being an actor
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it's actually hard to make money doing this
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and money is really important to me
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so I'll just go get a regular job
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and other people came to a different realization you know what money
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that's not very important to me I can live with less money
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and then still be happy I'll just chase my dream
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because that's my passion and I think both are completely valid choices but when When I look at my situation,
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I feel like I still haven't figured that out.
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I don't think that I've really decided what I'm willing to give up
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and what I absolutely don't want to let go of.
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Did I want to become an artist who had very little money but a rich inner world?
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Or did I want to look back on those days and say just like,
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those were good times while going to work at a regular office shop.
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Honestly, I don't think either of those feels quite right for me and that's why I still don't know.
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I'm not complaining about the advice that I received.
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I didn't really have all the people in my life who constantly pushed the advice on me.
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My parents even, they were not the kind of people who forced me to do things.
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They were supportive.
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They were just waiting for me.
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I'm just talking about the general idea here.
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The power of experiencing things for yourself and why other people's advice doesn't really have to influence your decisions.
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I think the big part of feeling happy and fulfilled comes from knowing
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that we are making our own choices and that those choices reflect what really matters to us.
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It's not that people give bad advice.
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It's that the answer that works best for them might be completely wrong for you.
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If there were just one piece of advice that worked for everyone, wouldn't life be so much easier?
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So what do we do?
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How do we find our way back to ourselves?
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We have to become a little more comfortable with not having everyone's approval.
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And we have to accept that figuring out what kind of life we want is going to be messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes confusing.
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I think the first step is to spend more time with yourself.
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Maybe that means spending time alone.
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Another thing we can learn to do is just recognize when someone else's idea of a good life starts influencing our choices.
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Do you feel pressured to choose something because it looks impressive than because it feels right to you?
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Are you adopting certain goals just because the people you love expect you to have them?
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And I want to be better at this myself too.
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I want to be more open about things I'm still struggling with and the things I haven't figured out yet.
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I want to give myself more opportunities to be honest about those things
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and I hope this channel can be a place where I can do that.
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I also hope that when people talk to each other in the comments, they feel like they can be honest too.
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Not because we have all the answers, but because we're trying to figure things out in our own ways.
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You don't need to have everything figured out right now
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Because at the end of the day
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No one else can live your life for you
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And no matter how much they love you
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They can't figure out what makes your life meaningful on your behalf
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And that's something only you can discover
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Yeah Thank you for today
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And let me know what you think in the comments
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Talk to you soon I think I like me I think I like me I like the way I look
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And I like the way I feel
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When I take my clothes off
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Oh, I'll take my clothes off
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And just be real
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People will wonder
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How I got this way
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How I did it
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They don't understand
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That life's not about getting there
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It's just about being
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On Saturdays, Saturdays where I can be myself I take my insecurities
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and put them on a shelf I think I like me
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu konuşma dersi “why i stopped asking” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 177 cümle ve 2214 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 13:22 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 166 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %88’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| confused sıfat | /kənˈfjuːzd/ | şaşkın, şaşırmış |
| encourage fiil | /ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/ | teşvik etmek, cesaretlendirmek |
| happiness isim | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | mutluluk, saadet |
| passion isim | /ˈpæʃən/ | tutku, ihtiras |
| cloth isim | /klɒθ/ | kumaş |
| ignore fiil | /ɪɡˈnɔː/ | görmezden gelmek |
| stable isim | /ˈsteɪ.bəl/ | ahır |
| impressive sıfat | /ɪmˈpɹɛsɪv/ | etkileyici |
| anxiety isim | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | kaygı, endişe |
| formula isim | /ˈfɔː.mjʊ.lə/ | formül |
| chase fiil | /t͡ʃeɪs/ | kovalamak, peşinden koşmak |
| inspiration isim | /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/ | ilham |
| spiritual sıfat | /ˈspɪɹɪt͡ʃuəl/ | spiritüel, tinsel |
| discover fiil | /dɪˈskʌvə/ | keşfetmek |
| reflect fiil | /ɹɪˈflɛkt/ | yansıtmak |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| figure out fiil | açığa çıkarmak |
| grow up fiil | büyümek, yetişmek |
| show up fiil | ortaya çıkmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- Are you looking for advice today?
- Maybe you don't need it.
- I'm the one who has to figure this out.
- I feel like I still haven't figured that out.
- How do we find our way back to ourselves?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | Have you ever received · I've always wanted · It's always been |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | someone who makes · someone who also · people who seem |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | are encouraged · being surrounded · could be swayed |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, I'm, I've gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 58 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: cloth /klɒθ/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, passion /ˈpæʃən/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, presentation /ˌpɹɛzn̩ˈteɪʃn̩/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: cloth /klɒθ/, practical /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.kəl/, stable /ˈsteɪ.bəl/, spiritual /ˈspɪɹɪt͡ʃuəl/, presentation /ˌpɹɛzn̩ˈteɪʃn̩/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, passion /ˈpæʃən/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, practical /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.kəl/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; confused, encourage, happiness gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.