Shadowing Practice: I Lost an Opportunity — and It Taught Me This About Growth - Learn English Speaking with Video
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I think sometimes we want growth, but we don't want anybody to see the friction that comes with it.
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Hey darlings, welcome back to another video.
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It's your girl, Hilary Allison if you're an od thank you
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so much for being committed to this channel thank you
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so much for coming back i love you for being here
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and if you're new here welcome i love to yap
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and i love to yap about purpose self -acceptance and leadership
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so stick around you're gonna love it over here today i'm
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gonna talk about something interesting it's a little story time
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but also about the lessons that i learned along the way
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so as you know i'm an mba i'm also a medical student by the way for those who don't know
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but i have a business called a department if your artistry
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and i do makeup and part -time
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and last year i've actually been wanting to enter bridal for a
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while now i mean i've done a few bridal like pre -wedding photo shoots
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and stuff but i mean like actual like bridesmaids and bridal
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that like is for me that have came to my own business
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and i got an opportunity last year to do a bridesmaid like bridesmaid train bridal train
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for a wedding guys i lost the opportunity let me tell you
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that just so basically the person reached out i gave my quotes
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and a few other things and i needed some information from here
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and i think even though i've been wanting bridal
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when it came to me i felt unprepared i felt like i had to have like the whole price packaging
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and the whole systems and the whole this and the whole
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that to feel like an expert and i was
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so wrong you know sometimes growth growth will come with friction growth will absolutely come with friction
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and we don't want anybody to see that friction it's crazy
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so i was in that time i was very busy i was having practical
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so i would come home i was tired
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and i got delayed a little bit
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and to be very honest i think i was also scared
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to put the cost i knew it would take to do what she wanted me to do
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because it was a travel
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job and looking back i regret not doing what i needed to do
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and by the time that i got up to speed i was able to reach out again
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and do what i needed to do she had booked someone else
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so i lost the opportunity not because the client even rejected me
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because when i was reflecting
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and looking past the emails i realized yo this girl was ready to pay
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but somehow i didn't see that then i only saw it now
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so what are some of the lessons i learned you would not know afraid to read from my laptop
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so here we go so the first lesson that i learned was
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that as a business owner know your numbers know your numbers i think this year i'm really taking
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that advice seriously and i'm trying to know my numbers more i believe as a business owner
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if you know your numbers and
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when i say you know your numbers i mean really your
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cost what it takes to do the service the hours everything
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you're more likely to be able to confidently put your prices
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if you just pick your prices because of what other people are doing
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or you think oh this is what i should charge
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or something like that you might be under shutting yourself
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or you may not have the confidence even charges
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because it feels big to you
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but now this year i took the time to get to know my business financially know the numbers
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and i've realized that i've now gotten more comfortable
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if people say no because i'm not ready to go down not
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because i'm arrogant or anything but i know what that discount
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or underselling myself actually does to me
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because i know what is the cost what is the labor what is the profits etc how much must be invested
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etc so as a business owner you must know your numbers i think the second thing i learned was
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that sometimes perfectionism can disguise itself as preparation looking back i should have just
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and probably giving her all the details the way it was
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instead of trying to say oh i have packages i'll send it to you during the week
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and then life got in the way right sometimes we try to prepare prepare prepare prepare
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and the opportunity comes and we are still trying to prepare
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and that preparation is actually fear
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that preparation is actually perfectionism it's no preparation anymore it's you trying to avoid failing
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because you feel out of your depth but guess what growth comes with friction
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and it's okay growth comes with discomfort you are being stretched like a rubber band it's okay i think
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that if you can never be happy with being out of your depth
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or you can not be okay with being out of your depth you will never be able to grow
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no one grows by being comfortable you will feel the discomfort
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you will feel like you don't know anything you will feel
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silly sometimes you feel like jesus like should i know this by now you feel all kinds of things
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but if you stick to it you will grow and
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so perfectionism over preparation is sometimes actually fear it is not beneficial how do you know
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when you keep losing opportunities because you are still prepared then what's your preparation doing
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so that's the second thing i realized
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and i think the third thing i realized again for this
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is for anybody it can be personal can also be your business
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but the fear of rejection is actually low -key you trying to control people
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and let me explain so you give your quotes or you say your statement
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you've said your piece right
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so why do you want to control the person's reaction do you get what i'm coming
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so if you're feeling rejection and because of
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that sometimes you're not able to see what you need to say
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or or you are you need to set a certain price
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but you are afraid the person will say no it's actually
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because you are trying to control the person's reaction looking back
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what i should have done is say a b c
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and d with what you've told me of course she didn't give me all the details i needed
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but with what she told me it's gonna cost exactly this
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and not be afraid to say it
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if it's like 200 euros is 200 euros
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if it's 500 euros is 500 euros you get what i mean
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so sometimes fear of rejection is low key trying to control a person
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or control the situation
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and i get it human beings we want to control what
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we as much as possible to control any things to get the outcome we want
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but sometimes you won't get the outcome you want
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and that's okay sometimes you will sometimes you won't
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but the best thing is to present the information present the
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knowledge present the statements present the work present the price
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and allow that person their autonomy to say yes or no
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and it also made me realize that rejection people say rejection is projected
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so i want to tell you
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that sometimes rejection is not a personal attack it just means
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that maybe values don't align or timing doesn't align
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or budgets doesn't align or viewpoints
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or vision doesn't align it doesn't have to be a personal attack yes rejection hurts absolutely it hurts
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but self -acceptance means being able to say okay i'm hurt i'm sad about this rejection
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but knowing that it's not a reflection of your identity
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and it might not even be a reflection of your work
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again as a makeup artist sometimes i've just had sometimes as a makeup artist i have just had to accept
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that my makeup style might not be for everyone
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and maybe that's why i don't get booked by certain people
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and it's okay it's okay do you get what i mean rejection just means misalignments it's not a personal attack
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and from these lessons let me tell you the reason why i was thinking about this is i'm building something new
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and i'm feeling out of my depth like i'm feeling discomfort
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i'm feeling like oh my god can i do there's a part of me that's wanting to read
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that preparation thing that over preparation thing
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but now this is the fourth thing i'm learning
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that competence comes from doing
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that does not mean of course you shouldn't read you don't
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need to prepare whatever way you need to do you don't need to research
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because you need to research especially if it's a business market research
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but let's just talk about general life yes there's some level of preparation for sure
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but the truth of the matter is no matter how many books you read, no matter how many courses, No matter how much counsel,
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the competence you are looking for is in your doing.
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Let me say it again for those at the back.
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Your competence that you are looking for is in the doing.
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As you do, you will become more competent.
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Do you know why?
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Because as you're doing, it will become more real to you.
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Some things you read will become more real to you.
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Things you didn't understand before will become more real to you
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you're going to ask silly questions sometimes your first marketing plan
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your first strategy may flop your prices may be rejected at a point you may question decisions
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but that is how you will grow and that is how your competence will also come out and manifest so so realize
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that no matter how much you read until you do you
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haven't begun to grow that's the truth sometimes people watch you learn sometimes people watch you feel
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and that's okay so the friction
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that is happening this is it the friction the friction of
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wanting to be perfect the friction of wanting to over prepare
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the friction of wanting to control outcomes all those things it's
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part of growth you are being stretched it is evidence
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that you are growing
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so i hope you enjoyed this year obsession that's really all
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i had to say yes i've learned these things i've reflected
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and i thought to share them with you too
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because it's not just applicable to business it's applicable to life
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and i'll say in summary what i have seen is
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that the readiness you are looking for is actually a fruit of the friction
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and friction comes about because growth is knocking at your door
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so don't be afraid do it scared do it you know
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do it scared that's the truth do it scared the truth is
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that the the fear will go down as you're doing it no one
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really does a lot of things without fear
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or some people do some people do
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but there's always some level of uncertainty do you get what i mean
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but as you're doing it you grow into it
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because there will be days where you're like it doesn't necessarily
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even mean you doubt the vision there are just days where
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you're like charlie this thing i'm doing really you get what i mean it's normal
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if you feel like that sometimes
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but it doesn't mean you quit on the vision no you stay on the vision
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and you continue so do it do it how you are meant to do it okay
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and know that that competence that readiness is a fruit of
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that friction you can't escape the friction
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because friction will always come hand in hand with growth
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when it's knocking on your door i hope
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that you learned something i want to encourage you to like
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this video subscribe share it to your friends put on post notification alert the bell the shebang
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and i'll see you next time around on this channel bye my darlings
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All right, we'll take it to time, it's out of time This isn't the end,
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just a human condition You've got to stop it, it's all And this is only the exposition
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “I Lost an Opportunity — and It Taught Me This About Growth”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: friction, rejection, preparation, growth. This video has 176 sentences and 2094 words to shadow. The speech runs for 13:40. The speaker talks at a natural 153 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| friction noun | /ˈfɹɪkʃən/ | The rubbing of one object or surface against another. |
| preparation noun | /ˌpɹɛpəˈɹeɪʃ(ə)n/ | The act of preparing or getting ready. |
| rejection noun | /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/ | The act of rejecting. |
| competence noun | /ˈkɑm.pə.təns/ | The quality or state of being competent, i.e. able or suitable for a general role. |
| bridal adjective | /ˈbɹaɪd(ə)l/ | Of or pertaining to a bride, or to wedding; nuptial. |
| lesson noun | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | A section of learning or teaching into which a wider learning content is divided. |
| euro noun | /ˈjʊɹoʊ/ | The currency unit of the European Monetary Union. Symbol: € |
| scare verb | /skɛɚ/ | To frighten, terrify, startle, especially in a minor way. |
| align verb | /əˈlaɪn/ | To form a line; to fall into line. |
| outcome noun | /ˈaʊtkʌm/ | That which is produced or occurs as a result of an event or process. |
| discomfort noun | /dɪsˈkʌmfɚt/ | Mental or bodily distress. |
| package noun | /ˈpæk.ɪd͡ʒ/ | Something which is packed, a parcel, a box, an envelope. |
| reflect verb | /ɹɪˈflɛkt/ | To bend back (light, etc.) from a surface. |
| silly adjective | /ˈsɪl.i/ | Laughable or amusing through foolishness or a foolish appearance. |
| knock verb | /nɑk/ | To rap one's knuckles against something, especially wood. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| look back verb | To think of (past events) in retrospect (in hindsight). | |
| go down verb | To descend; to move from a higher place to a lower one. | |
| reach out verb | To extend one's hand(s) forward; to reach for something. | |
| come back verb | To return to a place. | |
| come out verb | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | To be discovered; to be revealed. |
| get up to verb | To do something, especially something that is forbidden or improper. | |
| look past verb | To see potential beyond obvious flaws; to consider something more than something else. | |
| stick around verb | To stay; to linger; to remain. |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | i've actually been wanting · i've been wanting |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | i've done · i've realized · you've said |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | must be invested · being stretched · is projected |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 70 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: friction /ˈfɹɪkʃən/, preparation /ˌpɹɛpəˈɹeɪʃ(ə)n/, rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, beneficial /ˌbɛn.ɪˈfɪʃ.əl/
- Long words — get the stress right: preparation /ˌpɹɛpəˈɹeɪʃ(ə)n/, applicable /əˈplɪk.ə.bəl/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, beneficial /ˌbɛn.ɪˈfɪʃ.əl/, uncertainty /ʌnˈsɜːtənti/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like friction, preparation, rejection.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.