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1
Hello.
2
Hello.
3
Is Ross there?
4
No, he's not.
5
Can I take a message?
6
Yes, this is Russell, Ross's divorce lawyer.
7
Just tell him that since I haven't heard from him, I assume he's decided to give the marriage a try.
8
Ross got married again?
9
No!
10
All right, keep going.
11
We are phasing the accent out.
12
Phasing it out.
13
So without retesting their results in the laboratory,
14
the team would never have identified the initial errors in their carbon dating
15
were there any questions at this point yes what's happening to your accent come again what's what's this nonsense
16
All right, I'm not English.
17
I'm from Long Island.
18
I was really nervous, and the accent just came out.
19
I'm sorry.
20
So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Were there any questions? About paleontology?
21
All right, look, I was just trying to make a good first impression.
22
Obviously, I screwed up.
23
But what you guys think of me is really important, because I'm hoping to get a permanent job here.
24
So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression...
25
Russ!
26
Are you crazy?
27
I am still your wife!
28
What, were you just never gonna tell me?
29
What the hell is wrong with you?
30
Oh, I could just kill you!
31
Well, Rachel!
32
I want you to take a piece of paper.
33
Here you go.
34
And write down your most embarrassing memory.
35
Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
36
Listen, you guys, um, I don't mean to be a pain about this, but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on.
37
You want to push the caps...
38
until you hear them click.
39
Gunther, where are you going?
40
I, um, was sort of thinking about maybe...
41
No!
42
No, you can't go!
43
No, this is fun!
44
Come on, we're just getting started.
45
Here, here's your marker.
46
Listen, if you want to go, just go.
47
No, she'll yell at me again.
48
All right, I can get you out.
49
What?
50
Shh.
51
In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion.
52
When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
53
Okay, the first person's most embarrassing memory is...
54
Monica, your party sucks.
55
Okay, very funny.
56
Oh, no. Oh, did someone forget to use a coaster?
57
What?
58
I don't see anything.
59
Great.
60
I'm seeing water rings again.
61
Okay, okay, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here, but it has to be now.
62
She'll be back any minute.
63
What about my friend Victor?
64
No, only the three of you.
65
Any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
66
All right, let me just get my coat.
67
There isn't time.
68
Just leave everything.
69
They'll take care of you next door.
70
Is it true they have beer?
71
Everything you've heard is true.
72
Could you guys please try to keep it down?
73
We're trying to start a barbell tournament.
74
You! And you!
75
You're supposed to be at my party! And Gunther!
76
What are you doing here?
77
Um...
78
Hey, welcome to the phone.
79
Phoebe.
80
All right, I'm sorry, but these people needed me.
81
You know, they work hard all week.
82
It's Saturday night.
83
They deserve to have a little fun.
84
Go.
85
You know, my party is fun.
86
I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun
87
but you know if people would just give it a chance it's a look
88
hello my name is clunkers may i please stay with you nice people
89
oh i wish you could stay here but chandler's allergic extremely allergic
90
Okay, if I am anywhere near a dog for more than five minutes, my throat will just close up.
91
That's odd, because this dog's been living here for the past three days.
92
Really?
93
Chandler, if the dog has been here that long and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog.
94
Well, it still has to go, right?
95
Why?
96
Okay, it's, um...
97
Don't do it.
98
Don't do what?
99
I have to.
100
Okay?
101
It's time.
102
Okay, I hate dogs.
103
What?
104
Crazy!
105
How are you?
106
I'm worried.
107
Told you.
108
Do you want to get this tattoo?
109
Yes, I do.
110
It's just that Ross is...
111
Okay, hey, hey!
112
Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
113
No. Okay, who is the boss of you?
114
You?
115
No, you are the boss of you.
116
Now you march your hiney in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip.
117
Go!
118
Oh, it looks so good.
119
Oh, I love it.
120
I know, so do I.
121
Oh, Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this.
122
Okay, let me see yours.
123
Ah.
124
Okay, let's see yours again.
125
Phoebe, we just saw mine.
126
Let me see yours.
127
Oh, okay.
128
Oh, no. Oh, it's gone.
129
That's so weird.
130
I don't know how where it went.
131
You didn't get it?
132
No. Why didn't you get it?
133
I'm sorry.
134
I'm sorry.
135
Phoebe, how could you do this to me?
136
This was all your idea.
137
I know, I know, and I was gonna get it, but then he came in with this needle,
138
and, like, did you know they do this with needles?
139
Really?
140
You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens!
141
Hey, Joe.
142
What's up?
143
Bad news.
144
I watched the tape and passed along to my bosses, and they weren't interested.
145
Oh.
146
Sorry, man.
147
But, uh, you watched the tape?
148
Yeah, I -I -I liked it.
149
But, uh, my bosses didn't go for it.
150
Stupid sons of bitches!
151
You didn't watch the tape.
152
What?
153
Of course I did.
154
Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
155
I'm not lying to you.
156
I watched it.
157
Well, you lied again.
158
I watched it.
159
Keep going, Pinocchio.
160
I did.
161
No, you didn't.
162
I'm telling you, I watched the tape.
163
Did you watch the tape?
164
No. I can't believe Joey.
165
I hate being called a liar.
166
But you are a liar.
167
What did I just say?
168
You still here?
169
Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt.
170
I am insulted.
171
When I tell somebody I did something.
172
Okay, hold on.
173
Let me just stop you right there, okay?
174
Okay, first you lied, right?
175
Then you lied about lying, okay?
176
Then you lied about lying about lying, okay?
177
So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about...
178
Lying...
179
Stop lying!
180
Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
181
You wanna know why?
182
You wanna know why?
183
Oh, this is going well.
184
Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, okay?
185
If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments.
186
All right, now, remember, I got paid a lot of money for this, and it only aired in Japan.
187
Ichiban.
188
Ichiban, lipstick for men.
189
Itchy -bon.
190
Lipstick for men.
191
Saiko.
192
And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape.
193
He really is a chameleon.
194
Hi.
195
I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
196
Corey?
197
Corey Weston?
198
Yeah.
199
You look amazing.
200
And you are?
201
Chandler.
202
Chandler Bing.
203
And I'm not gay.
204
I'm not gay at all.
205
You are married, though.
206
Don't listen to him.
207
He's in a really bad mood.
208
I can't believe that
209
Ross is gone.
210
It is just so sad.
211
I didn't know
212
Ross and you were so close.
213
No, we weren't, but we had one class together.
214
He was such a great guy, and he talked so passionately about science.
215
I always remembered him.
216
I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.
217
And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
218
I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out.
219
I guess I really missed my chance.
220
No, you didn't!
221
I'm still alive.
222
Corey, I know this is a big surprise for you.
223
It's a long story, but the things you just said really made my day.
224
I mean, the fact that you're here means more to me than if this room were filled with people.
225
You sick freak!
226
Who does that?
227
I can't believe I had a crush on you. Did you hear that?
228
Corey Weston had a crush on me!
229
Well, listen, you guys.
230
I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow, and he wants to abuse his discount.
231
So, anyone who wants to come with me and take advantage of it?
232
No, I can't.
233
I have to take my grandmother to the vet.
234
Okay.
235
Um, I'll go with you.
236
Great.
237
Okay.
238
Hi, honey.
239
Hey, sweetums.
240
And hello to the rest.
241
Hi.
242
Monica, what are you doing?
243
You can't go shopping with her.
244
What about Rachel?
245
This is gonna be a problem, isn't it?
246
Oh, come on.
247
You're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie?
248
It's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
249
But I just want to...
250
Monica, she will kill you.
251
She will kill you like a dog in the street.
252
So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?
253
Oh, yeah, um, it's actually not that big a deal.
254
It's a big deal to me.
255
This is great, Monica.
256
I really appreciate it.
257
You're welcome.
258
Woof, woof!
259
Hey.
260
Hey, where is everybody?
261
They took Ben to the park.
262
Where have you been?
263
Just out.
264
Had some lunch.
265
Just me.
266
Little quality time with me.
267
Hey, thanks for your jacket.
268
Oh, no problem.
269
You can borrow it, by the way.
270
Oh, here are your keys, honey.
271
Thank you.
272
Mon?
273
Mm -hmm?
274
If you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you $53?
275
You know what probably happened?
276
Someone must have stolen my credit card.
277
And sort of just put the receipt back in your pocket.
278
Huh.
279
That is an excellent, excellent question. That is excellent.
280
Monica, what's with you?
281
Who did you have lunch with?
282
Judy? Who?
283
Julie.
284
What?
285
Jody?
286
You were with Julie?
287
Look, when it started, I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend.
288
And then one thing led to another, and before I knew it, we were...
289
shopping.
290
Oh, my God.
291
Honey, wait, we only did it once.
292
It didn't mean anything to me.
293
Yeah, right.
294
Really?
295
Sure.
296
Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time.
297
Look, I'm sorry, all right?
298
I never meant for you to find out.
299
Oh, please, please.
300
You wanted to get caught.
301
That is not true.
302
So you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
303
Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
304
Okay, Monica, I just have to know one thing.
305
Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's?
306
Oh!
307
Okay.
308
Okay.
309
Okay, I just really, um, I just really need to not be with you right now.
310
I'm going to go change in my room.
311
My clothes are...
312
Oh.
313
Wow, you look...
314
No time for that.
315
Hey, dude, let me in.
316
I got a girl out here.
317
Well, I've got a girl in here.
318
No, you don't.
319
I just saw you go in there with Monica.
320
Well, we're hanging out in here.
321
Which one of us is going to be having sex in there, me or you?
322
Well, I suppose I would have to say you.
323
What if we're watching a movie in here?
324
Which we are, and we already paid for it.
325
It's My Giant.
326
My Giant?
327
I love that movie.
328
Hey.
329
Urs, what are you doing here?
330
I've been trying to call you.
331
Listen, um...
332
Oh, no, no, no, don't say listen.
333
I know that listen.
334
I've said that listen.
335
I'm sorry.
336
I don't get it.
337
What happened?
338
What about everything you said under the bridge?
339
Yeah, um...
340
You know, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge.
341
I was talking crazy that night.
342
I was so drunk.
343
You don't drink.
344
That's right, I don't.
345
But I was drunk on you.
346
Oh, Urs.
347
But okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
348
Why?
349
Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
350
If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
351
No. No. I couldn't do that.
352
Then yeah, it's because of Phoebe.
353
So, you know, it's either her or me.
354
Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
355
You know, you're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
356
I know.
357
I don't know whether it's just because we're breaking up or what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
358
Really?
359
Oh, my
360
God.
361
Peeves?
362
Yeah.
363
Oh, my God, my star student.
364
You know, you called me that before, so I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil.
365
Now, no pressure.
366
You like my cookies, you give me the star.
367
Mm.
368
Mm -mm -mm.
369
Wow, a star.
370
I know you all hate me, and I'm sorry, but I don't care.
371
Okay, Joey, you're up next.
372
Oh, my God!
373
This is amazing!
374
You get an A.
375
I get an A?
376
A in school?
377
Hey, I'm a dork.
378
Joey, I'm so proud of you.
379
I think you should give him your star.
380
Excuse me?
381
He doesn't even know what he's doing.
382
We're all beginners here.
383
Nobody knows what they're doing.
384
I do.
385
I'm a professional chef.
386
Oh, relax.
387
It's not a courtroom drama.
388
If you're a professional chef, what are you doing taking introduction to cooking?
389
Yeah.
390
I'm sorry.
391
It's just that, um...
392
Well, I cook at this restaurant, Alessandro's, and I just got a really bad review.
393
Oh, Alessandro's.
394
I love that place.
395
You do?
396
Oh, yes.
397
You're an excellent chef.
398
As a person, you're a little...
399
Oh, I'm totally crazy.
400
But you like the food?
401
Oh, very much.
402
Okay, then.
403
I don't stink.
404
I'm a good chef.
405
Okay.
406
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
407
I don't want to go.
408
I'm having fun.
409
Well, actually, did either of you pay for this class?
410
Hey, hey, hey, if my friend says it's time to go, it's time to go.
411
Did I make you take an oath?
412
No, I made myself take one.
413
Yeah, no fooling around with clients.
414
And, um, always be prepared.
415
Yeah, that one's actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
416
Why don't you just give them to somebody else?
417
No, I can handle it.
418
No, I'm a professional.
419
Oh, Phibes, is that a new ankle bracelet?
420
Well, and you got a pedicure.
421
Your feet are all dressed up.
422
Because that's the only part of you he can see when he's on the table.
423
You're gonna do some feet flirting.
424
I don't know what you're talking about.
425
Then how do you explain the toe ring?
426
Because it's Arabian Princess Day at work, okay?
427
Leave me alone.
428
If I wanted to.
429
Interesting.
430
Hmm.
431
Anyway, um, probably worked out for the best.
432
Yeah, sure.
433
Okay, in about ten seconds, you're gonna see him kiss me.
434
And in about five seconds, you're gonna see what?
435
Ross, did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
436
Hey, get ready to see some begging.
437
Oh, you came on the run.
438
What?
439
Now I'm so happy.
440
What are you talking about?
441
You used the Europe story.
442
That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex.
443
How do you know about that story?
444
How do you know about that story?
445
I heard it from my friend
446
Irene, who heard it from some guy.
447
Some guy?
448
No, no. She told me that his name was Ken Adams.
449
Ken Adams?
450
I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
451
What would make you think that?
452
Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird and then last night he came home smelling like Chanel.
453
Really?
454
Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when Barry and I first got engaged, he went through a whole weird thing to you.
455
Oh, God, you see, that's what I was afraid of.
456
What?
457
What's what you're afraid of?
458
Okay, okay.
459
When Barry was engaged to you, who he and I kind of had a little thing on the side.
460
What?
461
I know, I know.
462
And when he proposed to me, everyone said, don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel,
463
and now I feel so stupid.
464
Ha -ha.
465
Oh, Mindy.
466
Oh, you are so stupid.
467
Oh, we are both so stupid.
468
What do you mean?
469
Smell familiar?
470
Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry.
471
Oh, no, me.
472
I am so sorry.
473
No, I am sorry.
474
I'm sorry.
475
You want to see something?
476
Sure, what?
477
Okay, um, this is going to be fun.
478
Watch me freak out Chandler.
479
Honey?
480
Yeah?
481
Listen, uh...
482
I've been doing some thinking, and I don't know whether it's because we're here or...
483
Rachel's giving birth. But, um...
484
I think we should try to have a baby.
485
Okay.
486
What's that now?
487
Okay, I've been thinking about it, too, and I think we're ready.
488
What? Are you kidding me?
489
You think we're ready to have a baby now?
490
This is fun.
491
You're ready to have a baby?
492
My boy's all grown up!
493
You said you were ready, too.
494
Yeah, but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird, like mine is now.
495
Guess what?
496
Haven't you wanted a kid, like, forever?
497
Okay, just back off, mister.
498
Wait for me.
499
It was a mistake.
500
I made a mistake, okay?
501
A mistake?
502
What were you trying to put it in?
503
Her purse? Where?
504
Where did he put it?
505
Ross, you had sex with another woman.
506
Oh, my God.
507
Oh, I knew something had to be wrong because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday.
508
Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight and he got drunk.
509
You guys knew about this and you didn't tell us.
510
He had sex and we get hit in our heads.
511
You know what?
512
I want you to leave.
513
Get out of here.
514
Just get out, now.
515
No, I want to stay.
516
I want to talk about this.
517
Okay.
518
All right.
519
How was she?
520
Uh -oh.
521
What?
522
Was she good?
523
Don't answer that.
524
Oh, my gosh.
525
You said you wanted to talk about it.
526
Let's talk about it.
527
How was she?
528
She was awful.
529
She was not good.
530
Not good.
531
Not good.
532
Not good.
533
Not good.
534
Not good.
535
Not good.
536
She was different.
537
Oh.
538
Uh -oh.
539
Good.
540
Different.
541
Nobody likes change.
542
Just stop.
543
There it is. Should we do something?
544
Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
545
I'm sorry, okay?
546
I'm sorry.
547
I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so upset, and then I got your message, and I was so happy,
548
and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
549
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
550
What time did your little friend leave?
551
Huh?
552
Oh, my God.
553
She was there.
554
She was still there?
555
She was in there when I was in there?
556
Oh, Jessica!
557
Hey.
558
So how is this for a big double date tonight?
559
Oh, my God.
560
Oh, great.
561
Just the reaction I was hoping for.
562
Yeah, so you found someone for me?
563
You didn't forget?
564
Of course not, and you are going to love Mary Ellen.
565
She's really smart and cute and funny, and...
566
I can't tell you how I know this, but she is not opposed to threesomes.
567
Yeah.
568
So, tell me something about my guy.
569
No. Come on, give me something.
570
What's his name?
571
Mike.
572
Mike?
573
Okay, what's his last name?
574
Dammit, is there no mystery left in romance anymore?
575
all right we'll see you and Mike at the restaurant a couple hours all right great yeah why'd I have to say
576
Mike I don't know
577
Mike why couldn't I said
578
there's no guys in there unwrap all of your Christmas gifts no
579
I uh oh I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning with extra pulp yeah no
580
i've got it you don't have it i've
581
so got it there's gonna be rumors about this there's no way to stop it sophie knows monica
582
and phoebe know how do monica and phoebe know oh i called them
583
And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous or very stingy.
584
Go on.
585
I can make you a legend.
586
I can make you this generation's Milton Berle. And Milton Berle has...
587
Oh, not compared to you.
588
Hello.
589
Hey.
590
Hey.
591
Hello, Chandler.
592
I love you.
593
Hey, what's going on?
594
Oh.
595
No, he doesn't.
596
Two hours that lasted.
597
I went to a bar, and then I just, uh, just walked around for a while.
598
You walked around all night in the city by yourself.
599
He hooked up.
600
He hooked up with someone.
601
Look, I don't have to answer your questions, okay?
602
I'm a big boy.
603
I can do whatever I want.
604
He hooked up.
605
Tell us about her.
606
Ross, you left your scarf in the...
607
Hey, you guys.
608
Well, I can promise you at least one person will be crying.
609
You know, I'm an actor, and any actor worth his salt can cry on cue.
610
Really?
611
You can do that?
612
No, are you kidding me?
613
Watch.
614
I can't do it with you guys watching me
615
Mom, Chandler was just saying
616
How beautiful your sweater is Oh, thank you, Chandler, I just bought it
617
Oh, yes, well, it's very beautiful
618
And it's cream -colored and tight I don't mean tight I mean, it's not too tight
619
Not that I was looking at What's the matter with him?
620
i think he's stoned again what what dude i need to talk to you a sec
621
okay i think i might know why my parents don't like you you do why okay remember we were young
622
hey spring break sophomore year i i got high in my bedroom
623
and my parents walked in and smelled it and
624
so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
625
What?
626
Why did you do that?
627
I don't know.
628
Yours was the first name that popped into my head.
629
I'm sorry.
630
I didn't think it'd matter.
631
How could it not matter?
632
How was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college, let alone you'd be living with my sister?
633
What about all that friends forever stuff?
634
I don't know.
635
I was all high.
636
Mom and Dad just sent me in here to find out if you were trying to get Ross stoned.
637
Your parents caught
638
Ross smoking pot in college, and he blamed it on me.
639
Ross, I can't believe you'd do that.
640
The reason we haven't told them we're together is because they hate me.
641
Okay, so will you fix this?
642
Okay, okay.
643
I'll tell them it wasn't
644
Chandler who got high.
645
Okay.
646
Now, who should I say it was?
647
You!
648
It's not like it's a big deal.
649
You don't still do it or anything.
650
All right, all right.
651
Now, who should I say tricked me into doing it?
652
Let's go.
653
Oh, yeah, about telling
654
Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
655
All right, you know what?
656
That's it.
657
You've had your chance.
658
What?
659
Mom, Dad, raw smoked pot in college.
660
What?
661
You are such a tattletale!
662
Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
663
Yes.
664
Well, I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot, but it was me.
665
I'm sorry.
666
It was you?
667
And, Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired?
668
Didn't steal your Playboys.
669
Ross did.
670
Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing.
671
Monica did.
672
Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year.
673
Monica and Chandler are living together.
674
Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced again!
675
That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds.
676
All right, Monica.
677
Why you felt you had to hide the fact that you're in an important relationship is beyond me.
678
And we kind of figured about the porch swing.
679
Ross.
680
Drugs.
681
Divorced.
682
Again.
683
What happened, son?
684
I, I, uh, I got tricked into all those things.
685
Chandler.
686
You've been Ross's best friend all these years.
687
Stuck by him during the drug problems.
688
And now you've taken on Monica as well.
689
Well, I don't know what to say.
690
You're a wonderful human being.
691
Thank you.
692
No, thank you.
693
Monica and Ross, I don't know what I'm going to do about the two of you.
694
I'll talk to them.
695
Hi.
696
Hi.
697
Hi.
698
Hey!
699
Rach, Rach, I am so sorry.
700
I am so, so sorry.
701
Oh, Ross, come on.
702
You just did what you had to do.
703
What?
704
I mean, you're so...
705
What, that's it?
706
You're not mad?
707
I mean, it must have been terrible.
708
Terrible?
709
Hell, I was in Greece.
710
That was a nice hotel, nice beach, met the nice people.
711
It's not too shabby for Rachel. So, what, that's it?
712
Oh, yeah.
713
We're cool.
714
Totally cool.
715
Thanks, Rach.
716
You're the best.
717
Oh, no, you're the best.
718
Oh, I gotta go to the flower store.
719
Oh, check it out.
720
No one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long -stemmed red roses to her parents' house,
721
one for each day that I've known and loved her.
722
That ought to get her talking to me again.
723
Oh, Ross, when you make out the card, Be sure to make it out too.
724
Emily.
725
Hey, that's great.
726
It's so good that you had such a good time in Greece.
727
What?
728
I didn't have a good time in Greece.
729
Ross abandoned me, okay?
730
I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going,
731
Oh, Mrs. Keller, why you cry?
732
I mean, it was so humiliating.
733
I felt like such an idiot.
734
I mean, it's all my fault.
735
And you know why?
736
Because I make very bad decisions.
737
Oh, that's not true.
738
Yes, it is.
739
It is true.
740
I went after
741
Ross in stupid London.
742
London is stupid.
743
Stupid.
744
Phoebe, you were right.
745
I should have never gone to London.
746
And from now on, you make all of my decisions for me.
747
Oh, no, I did that for someone once.
748
I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
749
I'll do it.
750
It's fine.
751
So, Monica, you are now in charge of my love life.
752
Gotta go.
753
I miss you, too.
754
I love you, but it's getting real late now.
755
Say hi.
756
Hey, Ma.
757
Listen.
758
I made the appointment with Dr. Bozita and...
759
Excuse me?
760
Did you know this isn't my?
761
Her name's Ronnie.
762
She's a pet mortician.
763
Sure.
764
So how long you been...
765
Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the Navy Yard and show you the big ships. Since then?
766
No, it's only been six years.
767
I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy.
768
Joe, you ever been in love?
769
I don't know.
770
Then you haven't.
771
You're burning your tomatoes.
772
Huh, you'll want to talk.
773
Joe, your dad's in love big time.
774
And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
775
Oh, man.
776
Please tell me one of them is ma.
777
Of course, of course one of them is ma.
778
What's the matter with you?
779
Hey, Joe.
780
Hey, Dad.
781
Ronnie's here.
782
Huh?
783
Hi.
784
Hey.
785
Hey.
786
Hello, babe.
787
What are you doing here?
788
Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment.
789
I figured you'd need it tomorrow before your meeting.
790
Thank you.
791
Um...
792
So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
793
Look, I, uh...
794
I -I shouldn't have come.
795
I -I better get going.
796
I don't want to miss the last train.
797
No, no, honey.
798
I -I don't want you taking that thing to sling this.
799
Oh, where am I gonna stay?
800
Here?
801
Whoa -ho.
802
We'll go to a hotel.
803
Go to a hotel.
804
No, you won't.
805
No, he won't.
806
If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff.
807
I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
808
You're gonna keep an eye on us.
809
That's right, mister.
810
And I don't care how old you are.
811
As long as you're under my roof, you're gonna live by my roof.
812
And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
813
Wow, he's strict.
814
Now, Dad, you'll be in my room.
815
Ronnie, you can stay in Chandler's room.
816
Thanks.
817
You're a good kid.
818
Come on, I'll show you to my room.
819
That sounds so weird when it's not followed by no thanks, it's late.
820
Okay, now this is just for tonight.
821
Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change.
822
Six years is long enough.
823
What kind of change?
824
Well, either you break it off with Ronnie...
825
I can't do that.
826
Then you gotta come clean with Ma.
827
This is not right.
828
Yeah, but this is...
829
I don't wanna hear it.
830
Now go to my room.
831
Come in.
832
I've been waiting for you.
833
All right, I just want...
834
Oh, my God!
835
Oh, my God!
836
Come on, go!
837
Oh, my God.
838
Okay.
839
I'm sorry.
840
Sorry, I was, uh...
841
I was taking a nap.
842
What?
843
Just when do you take naps in that position?
844
Oh, God, Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy.
845
Please tell me you were waiting for a guy.
846
Yes, I was.
847
A guy. From work.
848
I'm seeing a guy from work.
849
Ha!
850
That cute waiter guy from your restaurant.
851
The one that looks like a non -threatening Ray Liotta?
852
Uh -huh, that one.
853
You know what?
854
Just give me a second.
855
I'll be out of your hair.
856
I'm just gonna grab a jacket.
857
When I get back, I want every little detail.
858
Maybe that's him.
859
Okay, um, okay.
860
Hey, um...
861
It's just Joey and Ross.
862
Why aren't you guys at the movie?
863
Well, we were, but Ross was talking so loud on his phone, they threw us out.
864
I had to talk loud because the movie was loud.
865
He's talking to London.
866
Oh, my God.
867
Did he get in touch with Emily?
868
Well, no, not yet.
869
He's calling everyone on her side of the family, hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.
870
I don't care if I said some other girl's name, you prissy old twit.
871
Ross, way to suck up to the family.
872
I'm so glad you guys are all here.
873
My office finally got wrinkle -free fax paper.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “The Ones Where They're Caught Lying”. Questo video contiene 873 frasi e 5103 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 41:16. Chi parla mantiene un ritmo costante di circa 124 parole al minuto, comodo per lo shadowing. Il 83% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare. 196 delle sue 873 frasi sono domande: un buon esercizio per l’intonazione interrogativa e le risposte brevi.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| honey sostantivo | /ˈhʌni/ | miele |
| chef sostantivo | /ʃɛf/ | chef, capocuoco |
| hook sostantivo | /hʊk/ | gancio, gancetto |
| divorce sostantivo | /dɪˈvɔːs/ | divorzio |
| accent sostantivo | /ækˈsɛnt/ | accento |
| allergic aggettivo | /əˈlɝ.d͡ʒɪk/ | allergico |
| trick sostantivo | /ˈtɹɪk/ | inbroglio |
| suck verbo | /sʌk/ | succhiare, suggere |
| steal verbo | /stiːl/ | rubare, derubare |
| engage verbo | /ɪnˈɡeɪd͡ʒ/ | attirare, convergere |
| impression sostantivo | /ɪmˈpɹɛʃn̩/ | depressione, impronta |
| swing verbo | /ˈswɪŋ/ | oscillare, ondeggiare |
| jacket sostantivo | /ˈd͡ʒæk.ɪt/ | giacca |
| crush verbo | /kɹʌʃ/ | schiacciare, pigiare |
| tattoo sostantivo | /tæˈtuː/ | tatuaggio |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| find out verbo | scoprire |
| break up verbo | spezzettare, tagliuzzare |
| end up verbo | andare a finire, finire |
| get over verbo | superare, vincere |
| go through verbo | attraversare |
| grow up verbo | crescere |
| write down verbo | sottoscrivere, annotare |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Why didn't you get it?
- Look, I'm sorry, all right?
- What if we're watching a movie in here?
- Why don't you just give them to somebody else?
- What's what you're afraid of?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | dog's been living · I've been trying · he's been acting |
| Frasi condizionali if + frase, will/would + verbo — una condizione e il suo risultato | If it was, would you · If you go to a hotel, you'll be |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | haven't heard · I've noticed · you've heard |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | was licked · being called · were filled |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 237 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come I'm, don't, you're. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: throat /ˈθɹoʊt/, grandmother /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/, oath /ˈoʊθ/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, threesome /ˈθɹi.səm/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: chef /ʃɛf/, impression /ɪmˈpɹɛʃn̩/, crush /kɹʌʃ/, trash /tɹæʃ/, worship /ˈwɝ.ʃɪp/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: memorial /məˈmɔːɹi.əl/, laboratory /ˈlæb(ə)ɹəˌtɔɹi/, marijuana /ˌmɛɹɪˈwɑ.nə/, aluminum /əˈlu.mɪ.nəm/, chameleon /kəˈmi.li.ən/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: honey /ˈhʌni/, hook /hʊk/, honeymoon /ˈhʌn.iˌmuːn/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: tape /teɪ̯p/, chef /ʃɛf/, hook /hʊk/, divorce /dɪˈvɔːs/, accent /ækˈsɛnt/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: accent /ækˈsɛnt/, jacket /ˈd͡ʒæk.ɪt/, tattoo /tæˈtuː/, trash /tɹæʃ/, romance /roʊˈmæn(t)s/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Fai shadowing frase per frase a velocità normale, ripetendo ognuna finché il tuo ritmo coincide con quello di chi parla.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come honey, chef, hook.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.