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Have you ever wanted to approach a girl, but you didn't because she was with a friend, she was on her phone,
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she had headphones in, or maybe you just didn't know what to say.
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In the next few minutes, you're going to watch me debunk every single approach excuse imaginable and successfully get multiple phone numbers.
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Starting with this first approach.
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Oh, I see a group of two girls.
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Oh my God.
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I want to approach her, but she's with her friend.
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They're too far away.
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I'm going to just not do it.
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The opportunity passed.
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Excuse me.
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Sorry to bother you.
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I didn't mean to scare you.
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I just thought you were cute.
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I wanted to say hi really fast.
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Oh, hi.
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What's your name?
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Nice to meet you.
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What's your name?
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Nice to meet you.
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That sounds very Southern.
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Are you Southern?
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No, I'm from London.
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You both got boots on.
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You have like a very Southern sounding name.
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No, not Southern.
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So you're Southern and not Southern.
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Oh my God.
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You're from England.
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Yes.
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Okay, from London.
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Yes.
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I can tell by the Cockney accent.
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It's not Cockney.
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Isn't it the same thing?
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London.
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That's like saying like a Southern accent is the same as like a regular accent.
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Really?
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Okay.
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Very different.
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That's so bad.
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It's not like an opera, I'm from Cockney.
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It's how I talk.
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You should talk like that all the time.
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No, never.
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She's moving to Australia.
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Yeah.
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No way.
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I came to find the love of my life too late.
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When are you going to Australia?
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I move in two weeks.
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Wow.
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Okay, where in Australia are you going?
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Sydney.
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Okay, I spent a month there on a surf trip like six years ago.
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Okay, cool.
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Cool, I don't want to prevent the friend hangout before you go, but it'd be cool to get your Instagram and chat some more sometime.
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You want to just pop it in?
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Sure.
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Thanks.
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Cool, well, it was nice meeting you guys.
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See you guys soon.
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Later.
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Oh my God, my heart is still beating so fast.
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I'm so nervous.
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I couldn't approach a girl.
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I couldn't approach her from behind.
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I couldn't approach her if he's with a friend.
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No way, right?
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I can only approach a girl if it's super convenient and the opportunity falls into my lap.
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That's the excuse that most guys make.
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They will literally not do an approach with a woman that they're genuinely interested in unless it's super,
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super convenient for them, unless it literally falls into their lap.
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But if you're a beginner or you're a guy who wants to meet women, you just have to get in the habit of starting.
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Most guys think it's creepy to approach a girl once you've already walked past her, but just watch this.
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There's no way that can work, right you know what no it can excuse me sorry to bother
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you i thought i thought you were cute
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i wanted to say hi oh thank you excuse me sorry
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where are you from greece are you are you visiting
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i saw you taking a pic oh yeah it's my second time
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but i'm still taking pictures of everything yeah yeah what have you what have you seen
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so far you know you look pretty greek like your skin tone
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but i can break people have green eyes like yours well i don't know like basically they have brown eyes
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Okay, so you're just special.
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Yeah, I guess.
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I guess.
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But like there are people with light eyes.
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They're just the jeans.
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I don't know.
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Well, your jeans are nice too, along with your other jeans.
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Oh, thank you.
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Thank you very much.
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Thank you for everything.
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When are you heading out?
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When do I go back?
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So we're going out tonight for her birthday.
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That's the plan.
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Anywhere fun?
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But like now they're home getting ready.
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I just wanted to go for a stroll, soak up the New York.
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LARPING.
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LARPING?
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Yeah, I saw you LARPING.
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Yeah, LARPING.
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Yeah, and I'm FaceTiming everyone back in Greece and be like, oh, yeah.
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Just flexing on them.
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That's basically what I'm doing right now.
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That's funny.
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Matcha, you know, like.
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Cute fit on, the whole thing.
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Yeah, thank you.
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Thank you very much.
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No, I think it's the best place in the world.
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It's like Ibiza, Las Vegas, Mykonos.
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That's it.
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Okay, so all three red flag locations.
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And then there's New York.
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It's the center of the universe, I think.
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Okay, cool.
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Well, maybe if you're around this weekend, maybe we can do something fun.
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Do you have Instagram?
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Yeah, I can shoot your message.
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Well, cool.
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I don't want to interrupt your LARPing or your stories, but thank you very much.
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Very nice to meet you.
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Yeah, I'm going to meet a friend.
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Okay, great.
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Nice to meet you.
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Bye bye.
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Oh my god, we made eye contact.
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We walked past each other.
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Now it's weird if I turn around and go back.
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Well, was any of that weird?
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This is why when it comes to approach,
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your ability to approach is directly correlated to your ability to challenge your own assumptions and challenge your beliefs.
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Because all of the excuses, all of the anxiety that you get when you see an opportunity
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and you ultimately don't take it are rooted in an assumption or a belief about how the outcome will come out.
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And you have absolutely no idea how the outcome will come out.
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And so you actually put yourself in that position to experience the outcome.
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You cannot experience outcomes on the sidelines.
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And the funny thing about that one is that at the end, she asked, are you alone, by the way?
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What was that for?
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Because she's probably screening my logistics, and that was probably an opportunity to go on an instant date.
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On to the next excuse.
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This next excuse is she's on her phone.
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She already walked past me.
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Oh, no, there's people around.
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I don't want them to hear.
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Excuse me.
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Sorry to bother you.
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I thought you were cute.
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I like your outfit.
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Oh, no worries.
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You had a very nice preppy vibe to you.
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Have a good rest of your day.
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Bye -bye.
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So many guys watching this, their worst fear is experiencing what just happened, which is a rejection.
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Having a woman tell you no. Whether she had a boyfriend or not, doesn't even matter.
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Because just like I had a streak of two in a row, rejections are part of the process.
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No matter how good you are, no matter who you are, you will always, always, always experience rejection.
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And the big problem most guys have with rejections like this is that they feel that the rejection means something about them.
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It means that they're unworthy, it means that they're undesirable, it means that they're maybe not as good with women as they thought.
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And the truth is none of that is true.
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And this is what's so good about meeting women in person is that it forces you to live in the real world,
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in the present, to focus on talking to women actually i'm living in the present i see an opportunity
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excuse me sorry i i i don't mean to bother
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you i know you have headphones in i thought you were cute
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i just wanted to say hi i saw
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you strolling down with your outfit i'm like i want to stop her
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and say something thanks are you headed this way yeah
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you want to walk with me sure well what
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do you guys up to anything fun okay no
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I don't go to school here I'm 47 years old
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so I just you know walk in the streets do my thing exactly literally no I was walking
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that way to meet a friend
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and I is like okay i just i need
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i need to stop me to say something
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you can wait a second right i just want to make sure escort
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you to the pop -up make sure you look you arrive safe
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and sound you know maybe get your number in the process
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fall in love at some point in the future the usual well you're 46.
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no i'm kidding can you guess how old i am actually i did not moisturize today unfortunately I don't know.
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You have really like unique hazel eyes.
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That's why I'm trying to figure it out.
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I'm Eastern European.
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Okay, you speak really badly, but did you ask me if I speak Russian?
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No, I asked you if you speak Polish.
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Oh, no. You're Russian?
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No. Ah, okay.
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Okay, so I was close.
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That's the only
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Eastern European language I know.
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I don't know
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Polish that well, but...
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I don't want to say Russian because sometimes people get offended.
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I don't know why.
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I'm not Ukrainian.
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Don't worry.
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I'm half.
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You smell good.
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Okay, thanks.
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Can I guess what you're wearing?
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You're never gonna guess.
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It's actually very basic.
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It's how I fell?
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Yeah, how'd you know?
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It's the navy dark blue bottle.
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I'm a brother.
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Okay, okay, cool.
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Do you go here to NYU?
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Yeah, I do.
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What year are you?
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Guess.
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Second.
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Third?
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Fourth.
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Fourth?
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I'm 46.
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46, wow.
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Second?
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I can tell.
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I can just tell by the vibe.
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You're like too confidently walking around to be a first year in October.
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So I get to.
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I already have my footing.
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You do?
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More or less.
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Five foot one footing?
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Three.
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Five foot three.
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Okay.
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That was close.
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I don't want to hold you up too long.
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I do have to go.
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You should enjoy your game charge pop -up and tell me how it is.
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Do you want to exchange numbers?
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I'll text you.
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Yeah, I know.
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What's your name?
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Benjamin.
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Benjamin.
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Nice to meet you.
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That's not a Russian name.
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I'm not that Russian.
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I'm very off the boat.
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Off the boat.
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Okay.
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I'll text you.
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Okay.
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I'll shoot you a message.
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Nice to meet you.
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Yeah, it was very nice to meet you as well.
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Do you know where you're going?
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Yeah, I think I just saw my phone.
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Okay, I'm headed this way.
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Nice seeing you.
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And by the way, if you're an older,
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successful guy, and you want to learn exactly how to meet women just like this in your day -to -day interactions,
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including literal models like my 54 year old client Todd did, then click the link in the description and apply to work with me personally.
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We'll help you build a custom game plan based on your city,
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schedule, and lifestyle to make sure you're consistently meeting the type of women that actually excite you.
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Fair warning, it's not cheap because we work with each guy individually and thus have limited capacity.
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So apply now before spots fill up for the month.
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Oh my god, look at me.
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I just got rejected.
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It's over.
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I should have just quit and go home.
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Nope.
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I literally walk three seconds down the street.
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I see another opportunity.
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Oh no, she had headphones in.
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If she has her headphones in, there's no way I can approach her.
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There's no way she's going to stop.
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I don't want to bother her.
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And guess what?
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I stop her.
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It goes well.
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We go on a little midday stroll.
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We have a great interaction.
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And there we go.
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If this doesn't inspire you to go and actually take action
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and live in the real world instead of in the fake internal world that you've constructed for yourself, honestly, nothing will.
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And you need some external force, some outside accountability to kick you into gear and kick you into action.
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I've taken literally thousands of men over the last decade from zero approach experience, having never started conversations with women,
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to starting conversations, to consistently getting numbers, consistently getting dates, and eventually settling down into long -term relationships,
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marriages, and even eventually starting families from this skill set.
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There's no way this taller woman is going to be receptive to me.
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I might as well not even try.
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Oh my God, I'm nervous.
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Look how tall she is.
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She's like a whole head taller than me.
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Well, here goes nothing.
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Excuse me.
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Hey, sorry to bother you.
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I thought you were cute.
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I wanted to say hi.
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Oh, hi.
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What's your name?
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Nice to meet you.
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Are you headed this way?
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Yeah.
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I can stroll with you till the end.
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Why are you only visiting?
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My sign load's here.
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I'm from California.
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Okay.
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I lived in California for a few years back in the day.
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Yeah, I lived in LA.
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I lived in like Encino, all over the valley, and then i lived in hollywood for a
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while too okay where are you from originally here new york
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but like uptown uptown like near the bronx okay cool what about you where in cali are you from i'm from
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okay county
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if you've ever went down south from la i used to go surfing
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there all the time oh you did yeah yeah do you surf
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i don't i look snorkeled okay cool i was gonna say
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you must play some sport with your height volleyball basketball something
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it's always the tall girls who play volleyball yeah did you
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play any sports a lot football a ton of others yeah what's your itinerary
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i don't want to lead you in the wrong direction
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but yeah maybe with a friend for dinner res maybe we should take your number
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if you'd like yeah that'd be great for your instagram yeah
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i'll give you my number you can just pop it in yeah how long are you in town for i'm leaving
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Sunday morning.
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Okay, so we have two days to fall in love and do the whole thing.
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I actually might be in LA in about two, three weeks.
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It's not, but closer than usual.
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It is very close, yeah.
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Nice to meet you, Benjamin.
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Nice to meet you.
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Very nice to meet you.
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Let's see you around.
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Bye -bye.
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So that girl who was significantly taller than me, how much taller than me would you say she was?
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Solid two, three inches.
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Probably look bad on camera.
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I was getting bogged.
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I got mogged by a woman who is three inches taller than me
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and I was still able to just have a normal conversation, get her number, explore, see if it goes anywhere, see if there's any potential.
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If I would have let my insecurity or my own bullshit excuses about why it couldn't work, she's taller than me, that doesn't make sense,
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she's not gonna girls only like guys who are tall, you need to be taller than them.
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Those are all just beliefs and those are all just assumptions and if you still haven't taken anything from today, that's what this video is about,
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challenging all of the assumptions and the beliefs that exist in your mind.
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But I'm nervous.
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I don't want to approach her.
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I'm nervous.
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So she's sitting down at the table, has headphones in.
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So she's sitting at the outdoor cafe, having lunch by herself.
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I'm just too nervous to approach.
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I don't know.
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Should I do it, man?
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Chess, go do it.
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Oh my God.
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No, but I'm nervous.
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I feel my heart racing.
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I'm nervous.
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I can't do that.
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No way.
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I could just do that.
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I could just open up Tinder.
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I could swipe.
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Maybe I slide into some DMs.
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No, I can't do it.
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I feel anxiety, but Like, it's so weird.
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Even though I feel nervous and anxiety, like I can still just put one foot in front of the other and cross the street.
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Oh my God, there's a million people there.
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The waitress is there.
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Oh my God.
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There's going to be a bunch of people overseering.
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Oh no. Excuse me.
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Sorry to bother you.
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I just thought you were pretty.
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I wanted to come say hi really fast.
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What's your name?
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Where are you from?
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You're from here in New York?
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Okay, I hear a bit of an accent.
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That's why I'm like, okay.
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Are you having lunch or dinner or a little bit of both?
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Just a drink?
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Why by yourself?
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My husband is running late.
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Ah, okay.
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Well, enjoy the drink with your husband.
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Take it as a compliment.
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Have a great day.
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Bye -bye.
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Oh, my God.
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I just got rejected.
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Holy, I approached her.
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There was people all around.
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The bystanders were laughing at me, seeing me do the approach, seeing me get brutally rejected.
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Oh, my God.
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That means women don't like me.
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That means I'm a loser.
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Oh my god.
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Literally who cares?
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Did I spontaneously combust after that rejection?
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No, of course not.
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What's funny is one of the girls already texted me from the earlier approach.
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We've been out what maybe an hour?
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And one of them already messaged me nice meeting you Benjamin.
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I wish I was in town longer
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All you got to do guys just got to put yourself out
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there just got to have a little bit of balls a little bit of courage and
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Know how to say and do the right thing.
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That's it.
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And to be clear when I say you just need to know how to say the right thing.
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I'm not talking about nonsense, gimmicky, cringe, pickup artist tricks.
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What I'm talking about is knowing how to be present and relaxed enough in the conversation to read someone's body language,
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read someone's tonality, see where they're at energetically, and be able to meet them where they're at.
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A lot of guys like to think that they're tough, they're masculine.
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they're really confident.
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Let's see how confident you are.
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Why don't you go up and talk to the woman that you're nervous to talk to?
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Why don't you go up and talk to a woman where there's a low probability that it may not happen?
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If you're so confident in yourself, why are you resisting the rejection?
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Men will spend $8K a month on rent to live in New York
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and be surrounded by beautiful women and still not approach a single one of them.
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They'll walk outside, see the girl they like.
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Oh, I want to talk to her.
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Oh, she looks busy.
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Oh, I have another excuse.
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Oh, she's on the phone.
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Oh, she has headphones in.
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Whatever excuse it is.
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How's this for an excuse?
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Did you spend this much money to live in the highest
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cost of living city in the entire world to sit in your apartment, to be surrounded by beautiful women and not interact with any of them?
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You could literally be doing this in Wisconsin.
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If you're a guy, you came to New York, every single guy who moves to New York thinks, oh, my dating life's going to be great.
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I'll be able to meet all these different women.
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If you're not doing it, if you're not taking advantage of the opportunity to meet your future wife here, then what are you even doing here?
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Go back to Wisconsin.
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You can go do your same exact routine of work, gym, repeat in Ohio, wherever you came from.
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Go back to the Midwest.
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This is one of the most densely populated cities in the
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world where you can genuinely walk outside of your apartment and meet your future wife on the sidewalk.
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I know because I've literally helped dozens of clients here in New York City do exactly that.
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So if you're a successful guy living in New York
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and you want to take advantage of this unique access window
441
that you have in your life
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and you want to learn how to start conversations with the people you meet in your day -to -day life,
443
click the link below to watch my free video showing you exactly how.
444
And if you're a successful man who has all the boxes checked
445
but your dating life is still not up to par with the rest of your life,
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then click the link below and apply to work with me and my team.
447
We've worked with thousands of successful men to consistently get them on one to three dates per week with women
448
they're genuinely excited about.
449
And if you're the right kind of guy, we can help you do the same.
450
Everything from how to get over your approach anxiety, what to say in the interactions,
451
and how to follow up over text to get these women on dates.
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And if you want to see my 54 year old client picking up literal models on the street, click here to watch this video.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “Unfortunately, Approaching Women Really is This Simple”. Le parole che ritornano più spesso: approach, meet, excuse. Questo video contiene 452 frasi e 3480 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 16:56. Chi parla va veloce, circa 206 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 86% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| bother verbo | /ˈbɑðɚ/ | disturbare, infastidire |
| rejection sostantivo | /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/ | rifiuto |
| headphones sostantivo | /ˈhɛdfoʊnz/ | cuffie |
| belief sostantivo | /bɪˈliːf/ | credito, credenza |
| anxiety sostantivo | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | ansia, ansietà |
| outcome sostantivo | /ˈaʊtkʌm/ | risultato |
| consistently avverbio | /kənˈsɪstəntli/ | coerentemente |
| accent sostantivo | /ækˈsɛnt/ | accento |
| assumption sostantivo | /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/ | assunzione |
| stroll verbo | /stɹoʊl/ | passeggiare, andare a spasso |
| interaction sostantivo | /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/ | interazione |
| genuinely avverbio | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | veramente, genuinamente |
| surf verbo | /sɝf/ | surfare, fare surf |
| outfit sostantivo | /ˈaʊtfɪt/ | completo, tenuta |
| convenient aggettivo | /kənˈviː.niənt/ | conveniente, comodo |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| go back verbo | tornare |
| go up verbo | salire |
| pop up verbo | spuntare, saltare fuori |
| get over verbo | superare, vincere |
| go out verbo | uscire, andare fuori |
| open up verbo | aprire |
| pick up verbo | tirare su, sollevare |
| turn around verbo | girare, girarsi |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- You want to just pop it in?
- When are you heading out?
- Can I guess what you're wearing?
- Do you know where you're going?
- We've been out what maybe an hour?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | Have you ever wanted · you've already walked · have you seen |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | guy who wants · happened, which is · woman who is |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is directly correlated · are rooted · be surrounded |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 129 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come I'm, you're, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, unworthy /ʌnˈwɝði/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, successfully /səkˈsɛs.fə.li/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: headphones /ˈhɛdfoʊnz/, wherever /(h)wɛɹˈɛvɚ/, habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/, hazel /ˈheɪzəl/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: headphones /ˈhɛdfoʊnz/, belief /bɪˈliːf/, accent /ækˈsɛnt/, jeans /d͡ʒiːnz/, surf /sɝf/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, accent /ækˈsɛnt/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, badly /ˈbæd.li/, relax /ɹɪˈlæks/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come bother, rejection, headphones.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.