シャドーイング練習: I don’t understand what we’re living for - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ

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I don't know what I'm living for.

Life feels so painfully empty that it's something I don't even feel like I can even ignore anymore.

I've spent most of my life just following rules or following missions

and goals I thought were supposed to be the answer to the emptiness in my heart.

I'd blame it on my weight, I blame it on my appearance, I blame it on some random accolade that I need to achieve

and then I can start living my life then things can maybe begin to make sense.

A lot of the time I'd also use

that goal post as a way to tell myself well I know something deeper is wrong

but I first need to reach this goal to have a little bit of a barrier

or a protection and then I can begin to go to that vulnerable place.

The issue is I have been doing this for so long

that I am not even sure that there's a life worth living behind that.

What I mean is I am somebody that overthinks a lot, if you want to call it overthinking.

I'm someone that just thinks too much about things and I'm sure you are too.

You try and understand the world a bit too much

and it ruins the experience because you can't seem to make sense of it

and you can't seem to make sense of yourself in it, especially when you have pain.

And I remember throughout my childhood and adolescence, I spent a lot of time thinking about relationships,

about people, about what made people love you.

Because for me, if I made people love me, everything would be okay.

That was my main goal in life.

I needed to make as many people as possible love me and to do that I had to play a role.

I had to do this very specific formula I'd figured out a

while back to making someone love you and it was about not being too honest, it was about pretending this.

Anyways I won't go into the details about that random thing

but what I mean is what that represented for me was a way out of the suffering, it was a way out of the emptiness

and a feeling of having a footing somewhere

that made sense on this earth and obviously as the years went on

and my mental illness got worse and I lost

so much due to these very problematic behaviours and I realised

that they burnt me out more than they could ever save me.

I was forced in many therapy sessions to sit with myself and think about what would it look like to change?

What would it look like to not live this way, to let go of all these beliefs?

And I'm sure like a lot of you, the answer is often, I don't know, I've never thought about that.

It's never even felt like a possibility.

And to be honest, the whole idea of it sounds like a just a lie, a fantasy.

it doesn't seem real and my argument about that was that well

if it was real I would see happy people I would see conflicting evidence in my everyday life

and I would have seen it up until now

but I don't feel like I do when I look to the outside to try and first to try and begin

to find out what could possibly make someone want to live, make someone enjoy this experience of life.

It often feels like I'm trying to understand an equation.

Like an equation, you can probably solve it and someone will explain it to you slowly.

But at the end of the day, it just feels like a concept.

it's it's just letters and it's just numbers

and we've decided they mean something

and I feel like I am unable to fall back in love with life

when I think of relationships friendships romantic relationships goals career aspirations lifestyle hobbies I just feel confused

and it's a weird type of confusion it's not like the type of confusion

that feels like it can ever be worked through it's like

when you go through deep suffering you can either go one of two ways you can either grow

and learn a lot or you can crash and burn

but I also think there can sometimes to be this weird

middle ground where it's like the veil of what life really

is gets lifted you see behind the scenes you see the the fantasy isn't real you see

that friendships relationships a lot of it is selfish this unconditional love doesn't exist

because through your trauma you were forced to deeply perceive relationships

and realize that things were not unconditional and you that to protect yourself.

In friendships you could say well they're your friend until you start to be very inconvenient.

Let's say if you became really really really depressed people often say well that's what friends are for

but quietly they actually mean I will be your friend until this doesn't stop fast enough because everyone feels selfish,

which is our natural way of being.

So it's hard for me to fall back into the fantasy that, well, that's worth it because I don't feel anything for it anymore.

Hobbies, I see the concept of them, I see goals, I see the concept of them, I'm like yeah but what is that for?

If I am just still pursuing something to prove something, to use up this time on earth just to use it up,

it feels empty, it all feels empty and it's like I can't see the point in anything anymore.

It feels like this horrible veil has been lifted and I cannot fall back under the trance, the illusion of it all being worth it,

of it all having meaning, because obviously the meaning is created by the person.

But if I fundamentally disagree with everything that is around me, where do you go from there?

If I see relationships and friendships as this fake performance no matter what

if goals feel like another way of trying to you know prop myself up

and and prove to the world or prove to myself

or something that i'm worth something

if my career feels again like this weird thing of this

popularity thing this thing of feeling like oh i'm better than this person

and this person this protects me more or kids

or whatever makes people want to do things it just all feels like some iteration of the same shit.

Just playing this game that I just, you can't win at.

I don't feel connected to it.

And I don't know what you do with that.

I used to run away from this feeling by finding my meaning in literally, like I said previously, trying to make people love me.

Trying to do everything I could to be this illusion.

But that's not possible anymore and it doesn't even work long term.

The main question I have after all of this is what do people live for?

I do not understand any of it.

I bring myself oftentimes on the weekend to lakes,

to towns, and I try and just put my body into the situations to maybe create some spark again,

you know, something that wants to be here, that feels something, that feels this pull, this beauty.

I don't feel similar to somebody that has seen something that's

so violently horrendous that even when they're out of that situation

and they're back home safe with their family and with everything they could ever want, they just cannot fall back into love with life.

They just feel empty and they feel disconnected from people around them and they feel like everything is just empty.

Honestly, it scares me.

It really does.

because you don't hear a lot about

that part I feel I feel like you hear a lot

about people talking about very specific things they struggle with

and wanting specific solutions but this feels more existential

and it doesn't feel like it's something that I can answer

100

and I think a lot of us feel this way

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and it's horrible it's absolutely horrible because it's something that is so so all-encompassing.

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It feels so much deeper than anything that anyone tries to make you worry about every day, yet you're still forced to play the role, play the performance, get up,

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go to work, put on a face and pretend you're not dealing with this.

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Try and do things on the weekend, you feel fundamentally pointless and I don't want to become a monk.

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I know oftentimes the answer to these things is, well, you've risen above the whole ego thing or you've risen above the whole

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role that society wants you to play

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and you've seen how empty it all is and you have to follow a different path.

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I don't want to follow a different path.

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I just want to enjoy my life.

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I just want to feel young because I spent my entire teenage years feeling like a 30, 40, I don't know.

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Now I'm in my early 20s and I've got my life back together,

112

yet I can just sit in a room filled with peers my age and I just cannot connect to them.

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I cannot understand how they feel and I can't understand how I feel in that moment.

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No matter how much I try, no matter how much alcohol I drink, I just can't get there.

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It's like you get the first curse of dealing with these issues and then you get the double whammy of like,

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hey, and now these are fundamentally going to alienate you even more from people due to that experience itself,

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even if it's healed.

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so yeah the meaning of life i know everyone wonders that

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but i guess this is just something i wanted to vent i wanted to just talk about

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that i definitely will keep talking about it

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because it's honestly something i just keep thinking about

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and ruminating over you're not alone feeling this way and it's deeply terrifying and it's just yeah anyways see ya

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このレッスンの語彙とスピーキングのポイント

このB2レベルのスピーキングレッスンは、動画「I don’t understand what we’re living for」を教材にしています。この動画には、シャドーイング用の文が122文、単語が1710語あります。音声の長さは10:45です。話す速さは1分あたり約159語で、日常会話に近い自然なペースです。単語の86%は英語の頻出3,000語に含まれます。残りは練習の前に確認しておきましょう。

この動画の重要語彙

動画の中で特に難しい単語15語を、発音と意味つきで紹介します。

単語	発音	意味
emptiness 名詞		空虚, 空
unconditional 形容詞	/ˌʌnkənˈdɪʃənəl/	無条件の
illusion 名詞	/ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/	幻想
hobby 名詞	/ˈhɑ.bi/	趣味
equation 名詞	/ɪˈkweɪ.ʒən/	方程式
selfish 形容詞	/ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/	自分本位の, 勝手な
confusion 名詞	/kənˈfjuːʒən/	混乱
adolescence 名詞	/ˌædəˈlɛsəns/	青年期
alienate 動詞	/ˈeɪ.li.ə.neɪt/	疎む, 疎んじる
aspiration 名詞	/ˌæspəˈɹeɪʃən/	希望
existential 形容詞	/ˌɛɡzɪˈstɛnʃl̩/	実存的な
inconvenient 形容詞	/ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/	面倒な, 不便な
ventilation 名詞	/ˌvɛntɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/	通風, 換気
perceive 動詞	/pɚˈsiv/	知覚する, 認める
monk 名詞	/mʌŋk/	僧侶, 坊さん

動画に出てくる句動詞

単語	意味
find out 動詞	見出す, 調べる
get up 動詞	起きる

繰り返し練習したい文

動画に出てくる短く完結した文です。日常会話でそのまま使えます。

I don't know what I'm living for.
I don't feel connected to it.
I don't want to follow a different path.

この動画の文法

話し手がよく使っている文型を、動画の実際の表現とともに紹介します。

文型	動画での表現
条件文 if + 節, will/would + 動詞 — 条件とその結果	if it was real I would see
現在完了形 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去の出来事が今も関係している	I've spent · I've never thought · we've decided
受動態 be + 過去分詞 — 誰がするかより、何が起きるかに焦点を当てる	was forced · be worked · were forced

注意したい発音

話し手はdon't, I'm, can'tなど、短縮形や弱形を50回使っています。聞こえたとおりの短い形で発音しましょう。

「sh」と「zh」の音: unconditional /ˌʌnkənˈdɪʃənəl/, illusion /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/, equation /ɪˈkweɪ.ʒən/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/
長い単語（アクセントの位置に注意）: unconditional /ˌʌnkənˈdɪʃənəl/, adolescence /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/, alienate /ˈeɪ.li.ə.neɪt/, aspiration /ˌæspəˈɹeɪʃən/, inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/

日本語話者が苦手な音：

/v/ — /b/ にならないように、上の歯を下唇に当てる: veil /veɪl/, inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/, ventilation /ˌvɛntɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/, violently /ˈvaɪ(ə)ləntli/, perceive /pɚˈsiv/
/f/ — 「フ」ではなく、上の歯と下唇で出す: oftentimes /ˈɔf.ənˌtaɪmz/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/, painfully /ˈpeɪnfəli/, terrify /ˈtɛɹɪfaɪ/
子音の連続 — 間に母音を入れない: oftentimes /ˈɔf.ənˌtaɪmz/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/, adolescence /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/, disconnect /dɪskəˈnɛkt/, existential /ˌɛɡzɪˈstɛnʃl̩/

この動画での練習方法

まず声を出さずに動画を最後まで聞き、知らない単語をメモします。
まず0.75倍速で一文ずつシャドーイングし、慣れてきたら通常の速度に戻します。
自分の声を録音して元の音声と比べます。emptiness, unconditional, illusionなどの単語に特に注意しましょう。

シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由

シャドーイング（Shadowing）は、もともとプロの通訳者養成プログラムで開発された言語学習法で、多言語習得者として知られるDr. Alexander Arguelles によって広く普及されました。方法はシンプルですが非常に効果的：ネイティブスピーカーの英語を聞きながら、1〜2秒の遅延で声に出してすぐに繰り返す——まるで「影（shadow）」のように話者を追いかけます。文法ドリルや受動的なリスニングと異なり、シャドーイングは脳と口の筋肉が同時にリアルタイムで英語を処理・再現することを強制します。研究により、発音精度、抑揚、リズム、連音、リスニング力、そして会話の流暢さが大幅に向上することが確認されています。IELTSスピーキング対策や自然な英語コミュニケーションを目指す方に特におすすめです。

シャドーイングのやり方: ステップ別の完全ガイドを読む →

シャドーイング練習: I don’t understand what we’re living for - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ

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