쉐도잉 연습: I don’t understand what we’re living for - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

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122 문장

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I don't know what I'm living for.

Life feels so painfully empty that it's something I don't even feel like I can even ignore anymore.

I've spent most of my life just following rules or following missions

and goals I thought were supposed to be the answer to the emptiness in my heart.

I'd blame it on my weight, I blame it on my appearance, I blame it on some random accolade that I need to achieve

and then I can start living my life then things can maybe begin to make sense.

A lot of the time I'd also use

that goal post as a way to tell myself well I know something deeper is wrong

but I first need to reach this goal to have a little bit of a barrier

or a protection and then I can begin to go to that vulnerable place.

The issue is I have been doing this for so long

that I am not even sure that there's a life worth living behind that.

What I mean is I am somebody that overthinks a lot, if you want to call it overthinking.

I'm someone that just thinks too much about things and I'm sure you are too.

You try and understand the world a bit too much

and it ruins the experience because you can't seem to make sense of it

and you can't seem to make sense of yourself in it, especially when you have pain.

And I remember throughout my childhood and adolescence, I spent a lot of time thinking about relationships,

about people, about what made people love you.

Because for me, if I made people love me, everything would be okay.

That was my main goal in life.

I needed to make as many people as possible love me and to do that I had to play a role.

I had to do this very specific formula I'd figured out a

while back to making someone love you and it was about not being too honest, it was about pretending this.

Anyways I won't go into the details about that random thing

but what I mean is what that represented for me was a way out of the suffering, it was a way out of the emptiness

and a feeling of having a footing somewhere

that made sense on this earth and obviously as the years went on

and my mental illness got worse and I lost

so much due to these very problematic behaviours and I realised

that they burnt me out more than they could ever save me.

I was forced in many therapy sessions to sit with myself and think about what would it look like to change?

What would it look like to not live this way, to let go of all these beliefs?

And I'm sure like a lot of you, the answer is often, I don't know, I've never thought about that.

It's never even felt like a possibility.

And to be honest, the whole idea of it sounds like a just a lie, a fantasy.

it doesn't seem real and my argument about that was that well

if it was real I would see happy people I would see conflicting evidence in my everyday life

and I would have seen it up until now

but I don't feel like I do when I look to the outside to try and first to try and begin

to find out what could possibly make someone want to live, make someone enjoy this experience of life.

It often feels like I'm trying to understand an equation.

Like an equation, you can probably solve it and someone will explain it to you slowly.

But at the end of the day, it just feels like a concept.

it's it's just letters and it's just numbers

and we've decided they mean something

and I feel like I am unable to fall back in love with life

when I think of relationships friendships romantic relationships goals career aspirations lifestyle hobbies I just feel confused

and it's a weird type of confusion it's not like the type of confusion

that feels like it can ever be worked through it's like

when you go through deep suffering you can either go one of two ways you can either grow

and learn a lot or you can crash and burn

but I also think there can sometimes to be this weird

middle ground where it's like the veil of what life really

is gets lifted you see behind the scenes you see the the fantasy isn't real you see

that friendships relationships a lot of it is selfish this unconditional love doesn't exist

because through your trauma you were forced to deeply perceive relationships

and realize that things were not unconditional and you that to protect yourself.

In friendships you could say well they're your friend until you start to be very inconvenient.

Let's say if you became really really really depressed people often say well that's what friends are for

but quietly they actually mean I will be your friend until this doesn't stop fast enough because everyone feels selfish,

which is our natural way of being.

So it's hard for me to fall back into the fantasy that, well, that's worth it because I don't feel anything for it anymore.

Hobbies, I see the concept of them, I see goals, I see the concept of them, I'm like yeah but what is that for?

If I am just still pursuing something to prove something, to use up this time on earth just to use it up,

it feels empty, it all feels empty and it's like I can't see the point in anything anymore.

It feels like this horrible veil has been lifted and I cannot fall back under the trance, the illusion of it all being worth it,

of it all having meaning, because obviously the meaning is created by the person.

But if I fundamentally disagree with everything that is around me, where do you go from there?

If I see relationships and friendships as this fake performance no matter what

if goals feel like another way of trying to you know prop myself up

and and prove to the world or prove to myself

or something that i'm worth something

if my career feels again like this weird thing of this

popularity thing this thing of feeling like oh i'm better than this person

and this person this protects me more or kids

or whatever makes people want to do things it just all feels like some iteration of the same shit.

Just playing this game that I just, you can't win at.

I don't feel connected to it.

And I don't know what you do with that.

I used to run away from this feeling by finding my meaning in literally, like I said previously, trying to make people love me.

Trying to do everything I could to be this illusion.

But that's not possible anymore and it doesn't even work long term.

The main question I have after all of this is what do people live for?

I do not understand any of it.

I bring myself oftentimes on the weekend to lakes,

to towns, and I try and just put my body into the situations to maybe create some spark again,

you know, something that wants to be here, that feels something, that feels this pull, this beauty.

I don't feel similar to somebody that has seen something that's

so violently horrendous that even when they're out of that situation

and they're back home safe with their family and with everything they could ever want, they just cannot fall back into love with life.

They just feel empty and they feel disconnected from people around them and they feel like everything is just empty.

Honestly, it scares me.

It really does.

because you don't hear a lot about

that part I feel I feel like you hear a lot

about people talking about very specific things they struggle with

and wanting specific solutions but this feels more existential

and it doesn't feel like it's something that I can answer

100

and I think a lot of us feel this way

101

and it's horrible it's absolutely horrible because it's something that is so so all-encompassing.

102

It feels so much deeper than anything that anyone tries to make you worry about every day, yet you're still forced to play the role, play the performance, get up,

103

go to work, put on a face and pretend you're not dealing with this.

104

Try and do things on the weekend, you feel fundamentally pointless and I don't want to become a monk.

105

I know oftentimes the answer to these things is, well, you've risen above the whole ego thing or you've risen above the whole

106

role that society wants you to play

107

and you've seen how empty it all is and you have to follow a different path.

108

I don't want to follow a different path.

109

I just want to enjoy my life.

110

I just want to feel young because I spent my entire teenage years feeling like a 30, 40, I don't know.

111

Now I'm in my early 20s and I've got my life back together,

112

yet I can just sit in a room filled with peers my age and I just cannot connect to them.

113

I cannot understand how they feel and I can't understand how I feel in that moment.

114

No matter how much I try, no matter how much alcohol I drink, I just can't get there.

115

It's like you get the first curse of dealing with these issues and then you get the double whammy of like,

116

hey, and now these are fundamentally going to alienate you even more from people due to that experience itself,

117

even if it's healed.

118

so yeah the meaning of life i know everyone wonders that

119

but i guess this is just something i wanted to vent i wanted to just talk about

120

that i definitely will keep talking about it

121

because it's honestly something i just keep thinking about

122

and ruminating over you're not alone feeling this way and it's deeply terrifying and it's just yeah anyways see ya

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이 레슨의 어휘와 말하기 포인트

이 B2 수준 말하기 레슨은 영상 “I don’t understand what we’re living for”을(를) 바탕으로 합니다. 이 영상에는 섀도잉할 문장 122개와 단어 1710개가 있습니다. 말하는 구간의 길이는 10:45입니다. 화자는 분당 약 159단어로, 일상 대화에 가까운 자연스러운 속도로 말합니다. 단어의 86%가 영어에서 가장 많이 쓰이는 3,000단어에 속합니다. 나머지는 연습 전에 미리 확인해 두세요.

이 영상의 핵심 어휘

영상에서 가장 어려운 단어 15개를 발음, 뜻과 함께 정리했습니다.

단어	발음	뜻
illusion 명사	/ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/	환상
hobby 명사	/ˈhɑ.bi/	취미
equation 명사	/ɪˈkweɪ.ʒən/	방정식
selfish 형용사	/ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/	이기적(利己的)이다, 자기 본위(自己本位)의
confusion 명사	/kənˈfjuːʒən/	혼란
adolescence 명사	/ˌædəˈlɛsəns/	청년기, 청춘기
aspiration 명사	/ˌæspəˈɹeɪʃən/	열망, 염원
existential 형용사	/ˌɛɡzɪˈstɛnʃl̩/	실존적
inconvenient 형용사	/ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/	불편(不便)하다
trance 명사	/tɹæns/	트랜스
ventilation 명사	/ˌvɛntɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/	통풍, 환기
perceive 동사	/pɚˈsiv/	감지하다, 지각하다
monk 명사	/mʌŋk/	수도사, 수사
spark 명사	/ˈspɑɹk/	불꽃, 스파크
scare 동사	/skɛɚ/	놀래키다

영상에 나오는 구동사

단어	뜻
get up 동사	일어나다

따라 말해 볼 만한 문장

영상에 나오는 짧고 완결된 문장으로, 일상 대화에서 그대로 쓸 수 있습니다:

I don't know what I'm living for.
I don't feel connected to it.
I don't want to follow a different path.

이 영상의 문법

화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.

문형	영상 속 표현
조건문 if + 절, will/would + 동사 — 조건과 그 결과	if it was real I would see
현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때	I've spent · I've never thought · we've decided
수동태 be + 과거분사 — 누가 하는지보다 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 초점	was forced · be worked · were forced

주의할 발음

화자는 don't, I'm, can't 같은 축약형과 약화된 형태를 50번 사용합니다. 들리는 대로 짧게 발음하세요.

“sh”와 “zh” 소리: unconditional /ˌʌnkənˈdɪʃənəl/, illusion /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/, equation /ɪˈkweɪ.ʒən/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/
긴 단어 — 강세 위치에 주의: unconditional /ˌʌnkənˈdɪʃənəl/, adolescence /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/, alienate /ˈeɪ.li.ə.neɪt/, aspiration /ˌæspəˈɹeɪʃən/, inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/

한국어 화자가 어려워하는 소리:

/f/ — ㅍ(/p/)으로 바꾸지 말고 윗니를 아랫입술에 대기: oftentimes /ˈɔf.ənˌtaɪmz/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/, painfully /ˈpeɪnfəli/, terrify /ˈtɛɹɪfaɪ/
/v/ — ㅂ(/b/)과 구별하기: veil /veɪl/, inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/, ventilation /ˌvɛntɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/, violently /ˈvaɪ(ə)ləntli/, perceive /pɚˈsiv/
/z/ — ㅈ이 아니라 성대를 울리는 /s/: oftentimes /ˈɔf.ənˌtaɪmz/, anyways /ˈɛn.iˌweɪz/, existential /ˌɛɡzɪˈstɛnʃl̩/

이 영상으로 연습하는 방법

먼저 말하지 않고 영상을 끝까지 듣고 모르는 단어를 적어 둡니다.
0.75배속으로 한 문장씩 섀도잉을 시작하고, 익숙해지면 보통 속도로 돌아갑니다.
자신의 목소리를 녹음해 원본과 비교하고, illusion, hobby, equation 같은 단어에 특히 주의합니다.

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

섀도잉 방법: 단계별 전체 가이드 읽기 →

쉐도잉 연습: I don’t understand what we’re living for - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

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