์๋์ ์ฐ์ต: self love | how to truly love yourself ๐ - ์์์ผ๋ก ์์ด ๋งํ๊ธฐ ๋ฐฐ์ฐ๊ธฐ
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๋ฌธ์ฅ์ด ๋๋ฌด ์งง๊ฑฐ๋ ๊ธธ๋ฉด Edit๋ฅผ ๋๋ฌ ์กฐ์ ํ์ธ์.
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What is self -love and how do you truly love yourself?
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Self -love is literally the foundation of self -confidence, self -esteem, and living a happy and fulfilled life.
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Self -love is being able to fully accept and love yourself for the human that you are.
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So loving everything about yourself, even your flaws, even the parts that you're insecure about.
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It's recognizing your true worth, that you are ultimately so worthy simply for existing.
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You don't have to do anything.
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You don't have to be anything or try to change yourself.
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You are perfect and whole and worthy as you are, like perfect in the imperfections.
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It's the same way that you look at a puppy or a baby and you automatically love it.
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It's like so worthy and beautiful.
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They didn't have to do anything or change anything about themselves.
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Just the fact that they exist, like they are already so worthy and so lovable.
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So you are exactly that lovable.
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So today, let's talk about how to truly love yourself because only with true self -love can you do anything in life.
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Without self -love, you're not going to get very far.
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You're going to hold yourself back, lack of self -confidence and self -belief.
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So only when you truly love yourself, can you go forth and be confident doing whatever you want with your life, taking it wherever you want.
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Before we begin, a quick break for today's video sponsor, BetterHelp.
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If you want more support in your self -love, self -worth journey, consider trying therapy.
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Therapy has helped me heal from burnouts and anxiety and release the parts of me that feel like I'm not enough.
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And I can say that I'm in a much better place now than I was a couple years ago.
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BetterHelp's mission is to make therapy more affordable and accessible.
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They connect you with a licensed therapist who is trained to listen and give you helpful and biased advice.
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With BetterHelp, you can have your therapy sessions as a phone call, video chat, or even via messaging.
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To get started, you fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs
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and then you'll get matched with your therapist in most cases within 48 hours or less.
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And then you'll be able to schedule therapy sessions at a time that's convenient for you.
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If you think you might benefit from therapy, consider BetterHelp.
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Click the link in the description or visit BetterHelp .com slash Aileen.
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Clicking that link helps support this channel
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and it also gets you 10 % off your first month of BetterHelp
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so you can connect with a therapist and see if it helps you.
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The first most important thing to transform is your self -talk.
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Self -talk is the way that we talk to ourselves in our mind.
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Most of the time, we are our own worst critic, and we're very mean to ourselves.
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That voice could come from our insecurity.
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It could come from a voice of our parents or our peers.
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But the first step to your self -love journey is recognizing your self -talk,
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recognizing the negative things that you say to yourself, and changing that.
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Changing your thoughts, changing how you talk to yourself, which then changes how you feel about yourself.
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The truth is we're all living in our own minds.
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For example, let's say someone is objectively pretty and people tell them they're pretty.
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But if that person in their mind doesn't believe that, if they feel insecure and they think that they look ugly or terrible,
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then that is their truth.
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It doesn't matter what people on the outside say to them
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because they don't believe it they believe the thoughts and the self -talk going on in their head.
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This is why having positive self -talk is so important,
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and it is the first step to healing this relationship you have with yourself and to start truly loving yourself,
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even if it feels fake or awkward at first.
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Because only with repetition, with those thoughts, will you start to truly believe them.
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This is why positive affirmations are so popular and so powerful,
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because literally saying these positive affirmations to ourselves makes us start to believe that they're true.
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Your brain is really funny how it will believe what you feed it.
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That's why you have to ingrain with repetition all of these positive thoughts.
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And you're going to get through the awkward parts
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and eventually it's going to truly feel true and it's going to boost your confidence.
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That's where the magic starts.
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Number two is shadow work.
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So this is where you go deep as if you're an archaeologist.
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You uncover the origins of your beliefs, the origins of, let's say, your insecurity or why you say mean things about yourself.
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Like, why do you believe these things?
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Where did they first come from?
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Because a baby is not born hating themselves.
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A baby is not born being mean to themselves.
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A baby is just pure and literally a blank slate.
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And it is really society or your parents or environment that kind of started to form these beliefs about yourself.
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So to do shadow work, you go deep into those origins of those beliefs.
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You try to uncover your fears and why you have certain fears.
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You start to face the dark, ugly, shadowy parts of yourself.
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that you want to avoid or ignore or hide away.
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Shadow work is really shining a light on all of those dark things and being like, okay, why am I so messed up in this area?
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Why am I so insecure?
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And with that awareness, shift your thinking.
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Start to release all of those old beliefs.
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Start to release all those old stories that are not serving you.
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Shadow work is truly grueling work, and it's probably going to involve a lot of tears
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and a lot of discomfort because you're making yourself look at the parts
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that you tend to avoid or tend to ignore exist.
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So it's not something that you do once and you're done.
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It's literally a lifelong journey where you just uncover layer by layer, maybe through a journaling session or a meditation session,
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but you start to understand yourself on a deeper level, like why you are the way you are.
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And then with your adult mind, you can understand why the child version of me formed this belief to protect yourself.
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And you start to tell yourself as an adult, now I don't need that belief anymore.
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I don't need to have that same perspective.
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I can choose a more positive perspective and I can start to let go of that past.
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Number three is learning to genuinely practice forgiveness and compassion to yourself and to others.
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I believe that true love includes compassion and forgiveness.
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If you love someone, then you are able to forgive them.
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And that is one of the hardest things for a lot of people to do.
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A lot of people like to hold grudges and not be able to forgive people.
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But at the end of the day, you are only able to love yourself the way you truly love others and vice versa.
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You can only love someone to an extent that you love yourself.
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So practicing forgiveness and compassion both ways, like to yourself and to others,
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will help you develop that ability and that strength to love unconditionally.
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Self -forgiveness is being able to forgive yourself for your mistakes, for your flaws, for your failures, and being able to love yourself.
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It is being gentle with yourself.
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And that's what self -love is all about.
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But the other part is also learning to do this with other people.
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So learning to forgive other people, people who have hurt you in your life,
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and try to find in your heart to find some compassion for them, because each person is a human being.
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Humans make mistakes.
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Humans are flawed all the time.
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When you have compassion, you can start to learn to forgive people.
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That is also a lifelong healing journey, but if you're able to make progress in that area, then you're able to love yourself so much more.
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Honestly, you're going to have so much more inner peace once you learn to forgive others.
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You don't want to hold that burden in your heart for the rest of your life.
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It is actually hurting you.
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Not being able to forgive someone is like drinking poison and hurting yourself and expecting them to be hurt, expecting them to feel pain.
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But the truth is they are detached from this.
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Whether they feel guilty or not, that's on them.
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But what you're doing to yourself is you're hurting yourself the longer you refuse to forgive them, the longer you hold onto that grudge.
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Why would you stay suffering
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when you can just simply have it in your heart to let it go and finally feel at peace?
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Number four is to step into your new identity, the identity of this person who loves themselves fully and unconditionally.
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So ask yourself, how do I love people in my life?
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Like how do I show love?
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How do I treat these people?
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Or even if you have pets, right?
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How do I treat my pets who I love unconditionally?
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Give that kind of love to yourself.
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So what would you do differently if you truly loved yourself?
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How would you go about your day?
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How would you go about your week?
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How would you treat yourself throughout the week?
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How would you talk to yourself in your mind?
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What would you do for yourself?
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Make a list, envision what this version of yourself looks like, the version that truly loves yourself.
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And then start living as that person.
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Start envisioning and imagining that you are that person right now, and literally treat yourself.
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What do you want to do today because you love yourself so much?
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How would you carry yourself?
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How would you walk in a room?
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What would you wear?
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All of these things are part of this new identity that you have to step into because you are that person.
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Alright, the next step is to integrate this new identity.
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Start to recognize the self -love habits, practices, and routines that this identity, this person does and start to integrate that into your life.
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So start building those ideal self -care routines, self -love routines.
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Ask like, what activities make me feel good?
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What activities make me feel loved?
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What are the habits that someone who fully loves themself would do, right?
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If someone fully loves themselves, they would eat healthier.
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They would exercise.
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They would invest in themselves, right?
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Other self -love habits could be journaling, repeating positive affirmations, meditating, doing yoga, having full -on self -care routines every evening,
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doing the most with your skincare.
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Whatever it is for you that makes you feel good and that makes you feel loved, start to integrate that into your daily lifestyle.
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Literally write down, what are you going to do every single day?
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What are you going to do in the week?
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And start to build that into your routine.
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By the way, a lot of these exercises and prompts on self -love are in our Artist of Life Workbook.
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So if you haven't checked it out, I'll leave the link here and down below.
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The Artist of Life Workbook is our guided journal to help you create your most successful and intentional year.
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There's a whole section on self -love, refreshing your mindset, designing your ideal routine from your daily morning, evening routines, and also your weekly routines.
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And then it keeps you accountable throughout the year with monthly goals and habit tracking, gratitude journaling.
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It just has so much jam -packed in this one workbook that it will change your life because it has changed mine.
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So I'm fully confident in our workbook.
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Definitely check it out.
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I'll leave the link down below.
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The final tip I have for your self -love journey is to focus on progress, not perfection.
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You're going to be on this journey for probably the rest of your life.
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It's a lifelong journey where our self -love just continues to deepen and deepen.
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And sometimes you just got to take baby steps.
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As long as you have a little bit of progress, that is already a win.
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And remember that the growth is not always linear.
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Sometimes you'll feel really good about yourself.
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You'll be like, yeah, I love myself, whatever.
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And then you might backtrack.
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You have your ups and downs and that's totally okay
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because it's all part of the journey what matters is that you know what the goal is.
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You know the goal is to have that unconditional, powerful love for yourself where you are literally invincible.
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Nothing can touch you.
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Celebrate your progress along the way.
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Maybe this year you love yourself so much more than you did last year.
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Celebrate all those little wins.
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Celebrate your confidence building little by little and you'll definitely get to where you wanna be.
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All right, now let me know down below from one to 10, how far along do you feel like in your self -love journey?
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1 being the worst, you hate yourself, you're in the dumps, and then 10 being you're gloriously loving yourself and shining super bright.
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Let me know where you are from 1 to 10.
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I feel like I've been at an 8 .5.
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I've been very feeling good about myself.
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There's always room to grow, of course, so I'll put myself there.
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But comment down below where you feel like you are in that range from 1 to 10.
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Alright, that's it for today.
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Sending you so much love.
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And don't forget to check out our new
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Artist of Life workbook to help you plan your 2024.
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Yes, the new year is coming very soon.
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I'm planning a lot of new year content for planning our new year as well, so get ready for that.
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And I'll see you in the next one.
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Thank you.
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Bye.
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์ด ๋ ์จ์ ์ดํ์ ๋งํ๊ธฐ ํฌ์ธํธ
๊ฐ์ฅ ์์ฃผ ๋ฐ๋ณต๋๋ ๋จ์ด๋ ๋ค์๊ณผ ๊ฐ์ต๋๋ค: self, truly, journey. ์ด ์์์๋ ์๋์ํ ๋ฌธ์ฅ 158๊ฐ์ ๋จ์ด 2368๊ฐ๊ฐ ์์ต๋๋ค. ๋งํ๋ ๊ตฌ๊ฐ์ ๊ธธ์ด๋ 12:54์ ๋๋ค. ํ์๋ ๋ถ๋น ์ฝ 184๋จ์ด๋ก ๋น ๋ฅด๊ฒ ๋งํ๋ฏ๋ก ์ฐ์๊ณผ ์ฝํ๊ฒ ๋ฐ์๋๋ ์๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ๋ง์ต๋๋ค. ๋จ์ด์ 88%๊ฐ ์์ด์์ ๊ฐ์ฅ ๋ง์ด ์ฐ์ด๋ 3,000๋จ์ด์ ์ํด ์ดํ๊ฐ ์ฌ์ด ํธ์ ๋๋ค. ์ ์ฒด 158๋ฌธ์ฅ ์ค 26๋ฌธ์ฅ์ด ์ง๋ฌธ์ด์ด์ ์๋ฌธ๋ฌธ ์ต์๊ณผ ์งง์ ๋๋ต์ ์ฐ์ตํ๊ธฐ์ ์ข์ต๋๋ค.
์ด ์์์ ํต์ฌ ์ดํ
์์์ ๋์ค๋ ์ตํ ๋ ๋งํ ๋จ์ด 15๊ฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ์, ๋ป๊ณผ ํจ๊ป ์ ๋ฆฌํ์ต๋๋ค.
| ๋จ์ด | ๋ฐ์ | ๋ป |
|---|---|---|
| routine ๋ช ์ฌ | /ษนuหtin/ | ์ผ๊ณผ, ๋ฃจํด |
| forgive ๋์ฌ | /fษหษกษชv/ | ์ฉ์ํ๋ค |
| belief ๋ช ์ฌ | /bษชหliหf/ | ๋ฏฟ์ |
| compassion ๋ช ์ฌ | /kษmหpรฆส.ษn/ | ๋์ |
| shadow ๋ช ์ฌ | /หสรฆdษสฬฏ/ | ๊ทธ๋ฆผ์, ์์ |
| habit ๋ช ์ฌ | /หhรฆb.ษชt/ | ์ต๊ด, ๋ฒ๋ฆ |
| forgiveness ๋ช ์ฌ | /fษหษกษชvnษs/ | ์ฉ์ |
| heal ๋์ฌ | /หhiหl/ | ์น๋ฃํ๋ค, ๊ณ ์น๋ค |
| therapist ๋ช ์ฌ | /หฮธษษนษpษชst/ | ์น๋ฃ์ฌ, ์ธ๋ผํผ์คํธ |
| ignore ๋์ฌ | /ษชษกหnษห/ | ๋ฌด์ํ๋ค |
| pet ๋ช ์ฌ | /pษt/ | ์ ์๋๋ฌผ, ๋ฐ๋ ค๋๋ฌผ |
| ideal ํ์ฉ์ฌ | /aษชหdi(ษ)l/ | ์ด์์ , ๋ฆฌ์์ |
| ugly ํ์ฉ์ฌ | /หสษกli/ | ์ถ์ ํ๋ค, ๋ชป์๊ธฐ๋ค |
| layer ๋ช ์ฌ | /หleษชฬฏษ/ | ์ธต |
| connect ๋์ฌ | /kษหnษkt/ | ์๋ค, ์ฐ๊ฒฐํ๋ค |
์์์ ๋์ค๋ ๊ตฌ๋์ฌ
| ๋จ์ด | ๋ฐ์ | ๋ป |
|---|---|---|
| fill out ๋์ฌ | /fษชl หaสt/ | ๊ธฐ์ ํ๋ค |
| write down ๋์ฌ | ์ ๋ค, ์ ์ด ๋๋ค |
๋ฐ๋ผ ๋งํด ๋ณผ ๋งํ ๋ฌธ์ฅ
์์์ ๋์ค๋ ์งง๊ณ ์๊ฒฐ๋ ๋ฌธ์ฅ์ผ๋ก, ์ผ์ ๋ํ์์ ๊ทธ๋๋ก ์ธ ์ ์์ต๋๋ค:
- Why am I so insecure?
- How do I treat these people?
- How would you go about your day?
- How would you go about your week?
- How would you treat yourself throughout the week?
์ด ์์์ ๋ฌธ๋ฒ
ํ์๊ฐ ๊ฐ์ฅ ๋ง์ด ์ฐ๋ ๋ฌธํ์ ์์ ์ ์ค์ ํํ๊ณผ ํจ๊ป ์ ๋ฆฌํ์ต๋๋ค.
| ๋ฌธํ | ์์ ์ ํํ |
|---|---|
| ์กฐ๊ฑด๋ฌธ if + ์ , will/would + ๋์ฌ โ ์กฐ๊ฑด๊ณผ ๊ทธ ๊ฒฐ๊ณผ | If someone fully loves themselves, they would eat ยท if you haven't checked it out, I'll leave |
| ํ์ฌ์๋ฃ have/has + ๊ณผ๊ฑฐ๋ถ์ฌ โ ๊ณผ๊ฑฐ์ ์ผ์ด ์ง๊ธ๋ ๊ด๋ จ์ด ์์ ๋ | has helped ยท have hurt ยท haven't checked |
| ์๋ํ be + ๊ณผ๊ฑฐ๋ถ์ฌ โ ๋๊ฐ ํ๋์ง๋ณด๋ค ๋ฌด์จ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์ด๋๋์ง์ ์ด์ | is trained ยท is not born ยท are flawed |
| ๊ด๊ณ์ who / which + ์ โ ์ฌ๋์ด๋ ์ฌ๋ฌผ์ ๋ํ ์ถ๊ฐ ์ ๋ณด | people who have ยท person who loves ยท someone who fully |
์ฃผ์ํ ๋ฐ์
ํ์๋ you're, gonna, don't ๊ฐ์ ์ถ์ฝํ๊ณผ ์ฝํ๋ ํํ๋ฅผ 58๋ฒ ์ฌ์ฉํฉ๋๋ค. ๋ค๋ฆฌ๋ ๋๋ก ์งง๊ฒ ๋ฐ์ํ์ธ์.
- โthโ ์๋ฆฌ: worthy /หwษ.รฐi/, therapist /หฮธษษนษpษชst/, themself /รฐษmหsษlf/
- โshโ์ โzhโ ์๋ฆฌ: compassion /kษmหpรฆส.ษn/, shadow /หสรฆdษสฬฏ/, shine /สaษชn/, perfection /pษหfษk.สษn/, meditation /mษdษชหteษชสnฬฉ/
- ๊ธด ๋จ์ด โ ๊ฐ์ธ ์์น์ ์ฃผ์: anxiety /รฆลหzaษช.ษti/, differently /หdษชf.ษ.ษนษnt.li/, affordable /ษหfษษน.dษ.bษl/, accessible /ษkหsษs.ษช.bษl/, genuinely /หdอกสษn.ju.ษชn.li/
ํ๊ตญ์ด ํ์๊ฐ ์ด๋ ค์ํ๋ ์๋ฆฌ:
- /f/ โ ใ (/p/)์ผ๋ก ๋ฐ๊พธ์ง ๋ง๊ณ ์๋๋ฅผ ์๋ซ์ ์ ์ ๋๊ธฐ: forgive /fษหษกษชv/, belief /bษชหliหf/, forgiveness /fษหษกษชvnษs/, lifelong /หlaษชf.lษหล/, flaw /flษ/
- /v/ โ ใ (/b/)๊ณผ ๊ตฌ๋ณํ๊ธฐ: forgive /fษหษกษชv/, forgiveness /fษหษกษชvnษs/, invest /ษชnหvษst/, involve /ษชnหvษlv/, wherever /(h)wษษนหษvษ/
- /z/ โ ใ ์ด ์๋๋ผ ์ฑ๋๋ฅผ ์ธ๋ฆฌ๋ /s/: anxiety /รฆลหzaษช.ษti/, refuse /ษนษชหfjuหz/, poison /หpษษช.zษn/
์ด ์์์ผ๋ก ์ฐ์ตํ๋ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ
- ๋จผ์ ๋งํ์ง ์๊ณ ์์์ ๋๊น์ง ๋ฃ๊ณ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๋ ๋จ์ด๋ฅผ ์ ์ด ๋ก๋๋ค.
- 0.75๋ฐฐ์์ผ๋ก ํ ๋ฌธ์ฅ์ฉ ์๋์์ ์์ํ๊ณ , ์ต์ํด์ง๋ฉด ๋ณดํต ์๋๋ก ๋์๊ฐ๋๋ค.
- ์์ ์ ๋ชฉ์๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋ น์ํด ์๋ณธ๊ณผ ๋น๊ตํ๊ณ , routine, forgive, belief ๊ฐ์ ๋จ์ด์ ํนํ ์ฃผ์ํฉ๋๋ค.
์๋์์ด๋? ์์ด ์ค๋ ฅ์ ๋น ๋ฅด๊ฒ ํค์ฐ๋ ๊ณผํ์ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ
์๋์(Shadowing)์ ์๋ ์ ๋ฌธ ํต์ญ์ฌ ํ๋ จ์ ์ํด ๊ฐ๋ฐ๋ ์ธ์ด ํ์ต ๊ธฐ๋ฒ์ผ๋ก, ๋ค์ธ์ด ํ์์ธ Dr. Alexander Arguelles์ ์ํด ๋์คํ๋ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ์ ๋๋ค. ํต์ฌ ์๋ฆฌ๋ ๊ฐ๋จํ์ง๋ง ๋งค์ฐ ๊ฐ๋ ฅํฉ๋๋ค: ์์ด๋ฏผ์ ์์ด๋ฅผ ๋ค์ผ๋ฉด์ 1~2์ด์ ์งง์ ์ง์ฐ์ผ๋ก ์ฆ์ ์๋ฆฌ ๋ด์ด ๋ฐ๋ผ ๋งํ๋ ๊ฒโโ๋ง์น '๊ทธ๋ฆผ์(shadow)'์ฒ๋ผ ํ์๋ฅผ ๋ฐ๋ผ๊ฐ๋ ๊ฒ์ ๋๋ค. ๋ฌธ๋ฒ ๊ณต๋ถ๋ ์๋์ ์ธ ์ฒญ์ทจ์ ๋ฌ๋ฆฌ, ์๋์์ ๋์ ์ ๊ทผ์ก์ด ๋์์ ์ค์๊ฐ์ผ๋ก ์์ด๋ฅผ ์ฒ๋ฆฌํ๊ณ ์ฌํํ๋๋ก ํ๋ จํฉ๋๋ค. ์ฐ๊ตฌ์ ๋ฐ๋ฅด๋ฉด ์ด ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ์ ๋ฐ์ ์ ํ๋, ์ต์, ๋ฆฌ๋ฌ, ์ฐ์, ์ฒญ์ทจ๋ ฅ, ๋งํ๊ธฐ ์ ์ฐฝ์ฑ์ ํฌ๊ฒ ํฅ์์ํต๋๋ค. IELTS ์คํผํน ์ค๋น์ ์์ฐ์ค๋ฌ์ด ์์ด ์ํต์ ์ํ๋ ๋ถ๋ค์๊ฒ ํนํ ํจ๊ณผ์ ์ ๋๋ค.