Shadowing Practice: How to Deal With Loneliness - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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Good morning.
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Dwayne here, Dry Creek Wrangler School.
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We got a morning here.
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We got a new class coming in next to the last class for this year, being this afternoon.
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So mama and I are taking the chance and taking the opportunity to make another video this morning.
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I've been chewing on this.
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We didn't make a video for a couple of weeks, and then I just posted two videos.
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They were both horse related and this topic I've been chewing on for a little
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while but I've been hesitant to put it up because I didn't really have things clear in my mind.
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But I'm going to take a chance this morning and see what we come up with.
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For the last many weeks I've gotten a lot of contacts, comments on the channel, emails,
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different things about young men, especially, I mean, it's pandemic around the world, I think, but young men,
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especially in this country, who are just feeling isolated and alone.
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It's a really bad situation in this country mama sent me a video link of a guy
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and he was talking about in this country the numbers of uh
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when it comes to suicides when it comes to uh homelessness
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when it comes to prisons the numbers of men in these situations are astronomically higher uh than women
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and And then this same guy read a lot of the feedback from women, and it was horrible.
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They were celebrating the fact that men are three times more likely to commit suicide.
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And it's no wonder good men in this world are backing away from women and saying, look, this is not right.
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and uh and when this attitude pervades
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when this attitude pervades feminists cannot sit there
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and say we're only about equality let me let me give
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you a thought ladies i'm gonna get a lot of i'm
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gonna get a lot of grief for this i don't care i don't know you
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and i ain't scared of you okay If a man is here,
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and you want to be equal, and the only way you can get equal is to band together
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and tear him down so that you can be at his level, you're not equal.
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You're not equal, okay?
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You're a parasite.
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I'm not going to go any further into that, all right?
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Because I will get wound up and get scratchy.
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Men, you're feeling isolated and alone and lonely.
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What do you do?
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You can't find a good woman these days, it seems like.
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And they're out there.
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Let me tell you right now, there's good women are still out there.
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They come through here.
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We meet them around, and there are still really good, solid women of values who value themselves,
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who value the men around them.
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They're just harder to find.
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So what's a guy to do?
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Look, I'm not a psychologist.
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I'm not trained.
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I don't, okay?
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I'm just, I don't know, Uncle Dwayne.
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You go sit down and have a cup of coffee and a cigar and say, hey, man, I don't know what to do.
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All I can do is give you my view.
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Maybe it'll help.
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Maybe it won't.
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Speaking of cigar, Perdomo Inmenso 70.
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It's the only Perdomo cigar I've ever purchased that disappointed me.
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I bought a box of them.
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I really like the 70 gauge.
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Sitting around every evening, it gives me a lot of time.
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But this cigar has been the least pleasing of any Perdomo cigar I've ever had.
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It's not that I don't like it.
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If I didn't like it, I wouldn't be having one this morning.
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But it just, to me, it doesn't measure up.
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It's a Maduro made in Nicaragua.
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Everything should be, and it's from a great company, everything should be, but this is like, I'm down to three out of the box,
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and I have not yet had what I call a mustache burner.
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One that's so good, I don't want to let it go, and it gets all the way down to the point I'm afraid it's going to burn my mustache.
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a great cigar is a mustache but but it's you know it's pretty decent and i do like the size
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but i mean i'm getting a hot spot right here back away from my burn and they're just
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i don't know uh but it's still a it's better than some other cigars
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but i wanted one this morning just because of the size um
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so let's look at it guys loneliness loneliness
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and what is the answer to loneliness well
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if you're lonely i mean it stands to reason
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that you're not finding people outside people that you can connect with on a physical level an emotional level
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a mental level a spiritual level whatever wherever you're at now it's harder for some people and I understand personalities.
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I understand there's difficulty in this.
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Like for me, I'm very comfortable in my own head.
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I'm very comfortable alone for hours at a time, for days at a time.
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Um, I, uh, it doesn't mean I haven't felt loneliness.
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It doesn't mean that I don't feel lonely at times, but it's not acute.
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It's not something I can't, uh, I can't deal with.
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And to me, from what I see,
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is the one companion, let's think this through,
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the one companion outside of God, if you follow God, if you believe in God and you have him,
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then there's always a friend that sticketh closer to a brother.
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but this we're talking about the human issue the one companion that's always going to be with you is yourself
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and i think the first thing you have to do i
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think the first thing we have to do is we have
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to get ourselves to the point where we don't necessarily need a companion
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now um it you know in when god created in the bible when god created adam them.
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And then he looked down, he looked at them.
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He said, it's not good that man be alone.
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That's why he created Eve.
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It's not ideal.
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It's not ideal, but it's doable.
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And sometimes it beats the alternative.
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Uh, and ladies, the exact same thing.
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Uh, it's better to be by yourself than it is to be with a bad man.
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Uh, and, but sometimes we choose, we choose less than ideal companions.
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Because to us, that beats the alternative of not having any companion.
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And the reason why we cannot face the concept of not having any companion is
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because we're not comfortable with ourself as a companion.
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We don't want to be left alone by ourself with ourself.
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So we come in and we sit down and we get on our phone or we turn on the TV.
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Or we go wherever we do, whatever, because we don't want to face the reality of being by ourself with ourself.
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And so, fellas, I would say one of the things I would recommend that you think about,
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chew on, look into, is start making yourself a companion that you're comfortable with.
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Now, that sounds kind of maybe not real mainstream, but if you had a friend,
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if you had a person you're going to sit down and spend all the time with, what would you want from that person?
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What would you want?
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Well, I would want to spend time with somebody who's honest.
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Makes sense?
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I don't want to spend time with somebody who's going to be lying to me all the the time.
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Someone who's going to gently tell me the truth about myself.
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One of the hardest things sometimes for the human to do is get to the point where they stop lying to themselves, where they tell themselves the truth.
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They speak the truth to themselves.
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Now, you got to face the reality of who you are.
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You got to face the reality of what you are.
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All right?
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And nobody's going to tell you that like you yourself will tell you that.
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You want to tell yourself the truth, but you want to tell yourself the truth in understanding and forgiveness.
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I look back at things in my life, and I can't say it was somebody else's fault.
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I can't say I didn't do that.
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I can't say this is why I did that so
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that made it all right I mean all the way back you know human our entire lives
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so I got it tell myself the truth.
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Yeah, that was, that was not okay.
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But then I, at the same time, I have to tell myself that,
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uh, you're a human and you made it right and you're making it right and it's okay.
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It's okay.
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Wherever you've been in the past, that's bad.
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If you're not still there, your companion, which is yourself, needs to feel free to tell you it's okay.
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That was a bad place to be.
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That was a bad person to be, but you're not that person anymore and you're not in that place anymore.
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But if you're with yourself and yourself is always beating you up, you're not going to want to be with yourself.
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If I'm sitting out here by myself in the evening, by a fire, cup of coffee and a cigar,
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and I'm constantly beating myself up over my failures in the past,
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I'm not someone that I want to be alone with. Does it make sense?
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All right.
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you've got to make yourself.
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And then the next thing I would want from a companion is I would want someone who is encouraging, who sees the possibility in the future,
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who gently pushes me and encourages me to get out of the rut, to get out of the hole, to get out of the sheepfold,
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to get out of the swamp that I'm in, and to move on and do better.
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You want someone who's going to encourage you.
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Well, if you don't have somebody who's going to do that, become that somebody.
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And again, now, fellas, I'm blessed.
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I mean, I've got mama, okay?
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I'm not speaking, I've got something a lot of you guys don't.
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I have mama.
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But at the same time, I have a very comfortable relationship with myself, all right?
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And sometimes if you don't have someone like mama, yourself is what you have.
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And you need to encourage yourself.
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You need to look around and you need to be able to encourage yourself and say, look, I'm not stuck here unless I choose to stay here.
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I get people get on the channel all the time and they're like, Dwayne, you're out of touch.
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You don't know what you're talking about.
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You're out in the country.
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Those of us in the city, we don't have that opportunity.
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Well, now, I've been in a lot of cities, and I've never been in a city that had a big wall around it that wouldn't let you out.
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If you actually want to leave, you actually want to get away from the crime,
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from the homelessness, from the situations that are being bred in the cities today, leave.
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Now, sometimes you can't.
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I'm not totally stupid.
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Sometimes you can't.
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But a lot more of you can than can't.
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Now, it takes courage.
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It takes courage.
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It takes sacrifice.
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I mean, if I was single and in some of these cities, and I read what's going on in these cities, and I read about the politics and the crime and the homelessness
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and the cost of living and the cost of rent
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and the cost of groceries and the inability to do all this stuff, I'd sell everything I could sell, put enough in the backpack, and I'd walk out.
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I'd sell my car.
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I'd sell everything.
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Don't tell me it can't be done.
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Watch the video on there.
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I hitchhiked and took a bus from Tennessee to Cody, Wyoming, and picked up cigarette butts in the campground for soup
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and a sandwich and a place to stay until I finally got a job.
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Now, that job was $350 a month, but it included a room in a bunkhouse, and it got me started.
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Don't tell me it can't be done.
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It takes guts, and you need to have a companion.
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You need to be a companion that's going to gently encourage you
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and give you the courage to take that next step and to do better and to be better.
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I know, guys, I know that the,
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how do I, the physical aspects of a relationship,
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I know that they're positive.
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I know that they are things that is hardwired in us to search for.
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But it's not something we've got to have.
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It's not something we have to have.
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And the hell that you go through with these relationships
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just in order to have someone to sleep with from time to time is not worth the destruction
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that it's doing to your soul and to your spirit and to your life.
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It's not worth it.
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Become your own man.
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Become your own man.
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If these feminazis want to burn their own world down around them, let them do it.
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You don't have to be in it.
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You don't need their world, and you don't need them.
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You don't need them.
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I was asking Deanna this morning, I was reading this stuff, and I'm like, if these women have their way, are they going to get out and asphalt these highways?
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Are they going to get up on these high lines and do this?
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I'm not saying they can't, but I'm saying the dang sure won't.
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Are they going to do sewer lines?
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Are they going to go into burning buildings and haul people over their shoulder down off the ladders?
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Here and there, scattered here and there.
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There's one, but women as a whole are not going to do this.
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And that's fine.
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That's their business.
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They can live their life as they want.
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I'm not here bashing women.
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But I am totally fed up with this whole feminazi movement that is destroying the young men in this country.
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And nobody can destroy you if you won't let them.
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Alright?
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Don't let them.
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You're a man.
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You are a man.
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Stand up and be a man.
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Make the hard decisions.
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Make the sacrifices.
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Make the unpopular decisions and become comfortable in your own skin.
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And if you are not a person that you are comfortable being alone with,
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that is the one person in this universe that you have full power, full right, and full responsibility to change.
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Okay?
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I don't have the right, I don't have the desire to, and I do not have the right to try to change my wife's personality and who she is.
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I don't have the right to change anybody.
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except myself.
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Now, there's people out there I don't like, and if I don't like them, I just walk away.
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I'm 55 years old.
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I've done without that person my whole dang life.
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I don't need them now.
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And I don't have the right or the desire to try to change them.
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But if I don't like me, if I don't like me, if I'm not comfortable being with me, well, that's a different story.
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all right so it doesn't provide all the answers probably doesn't provide any answers i don't know
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but maybe there's a little bit of encouragement there maybe somebody
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there's a little seed a little step a little something
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that you can say hey you know what i think that'll help me
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and listen just be strong stay strong ladies i'm not bashing women but i am bashing this godless,
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hateful movement that is destroying this country and destroying the men in this country.
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Okay?
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It's not...
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And fellas, just don't...
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Let me add one more thing here, alright?
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I'm choosing my words.
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Give me a moment.
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It is human nature.
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It is human nature when a pendulum swings too far one way.
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When a pendulum swings too far one way, we react and swing that pendulum too far the other way.
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
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Don't do that.
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But do not react to this with the opposite all the way over here.
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Don't be hateful and mean and derogatory to women.
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All right.
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I am referring obliquely to a former kickboxer
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who now resides in Europe somewhere who has been all the all the rage.
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There are some things he says that he's right and he's spot on, but his pendulum has swung too far the other way.
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okay and and some impressionable young men have taken it that way we're not at war fellas
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regardless of how this side wants to frame this picture we are not at war with women all right we're not
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you be that warrior in that garden
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all right and you stand strong you be a strong man you be a good man
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and you just let the world rage around you all right i hope this helps
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and uh and my heart's with you guys
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and anything i can do to help i'll be happy to do and so we'll catch y 'all next time
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 257 sentences and 2886 words to shadow. The speech runs for 20:29. The speaker talks at a steady 141 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| companion noun | /kəmˈpæn.jən/ | A friend, acquaintance or partner; someone with whom one spends time or accompanies |
| cigar noun | /sɪˈɡɑɹ/ | A cylinder of tobacco rolled and wrapped with an outer covering of tobacco leaves, intended to be smoked. |
| encourage verb | /ɪnˈkʌɹ.ɪd͡ʒ/ | To mentally support; to motivate, give courage, hope or spirit. |
| mama noun | /ˈmɑmə/ | Synonym of mother (“a female parent”). |
| swing verb | /ˈswɪŋ/ | To rotate about an off-centre fixed point. |
| loneliness noun | /ˈloʊnlinəs/ | A feeling of depression resulting from being alone or from having no companions. |
| ideal adjective | /aɪˈdi(ə)l/ | Pertaining to ideas, or to a given idea. |
| courage noun | /ˈkʌ.ɹɪd͡ʒ/ | The quality of being confident, not afraid or easily intimidated, but without being incautious or inconsiderate. |
| wherever | /(h)wɛɹˈɛvɚ/ | Regardless of the place in, at or to which. |
| lonely adjective | /ˈloʊnli/ | Unhappy due to feeling isolated from contact with other people. |
| gently adverb | /ˈd͡ʒɛntli/ | Without strong force or quickness: softly, lightly. |
| bash verb | /bæʃ/ | To strike heavily; to beat. |
| chew verb | /tʃuː/ | To crush with the teeth by repeated closing and opening of the jaws; done to food to soften it and break it down by the action of saliva before it is swallowed. |
| sacrifice noun | /ˈsæk.ɹɪ.faɪs/ | Originally, the killing (and often burning) of a human being or an animal as an offering to a deity; later, also the offering of an object to a deity. |
| react verb | /ɹiːˈækt/ | To act in response. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| get out of verb | To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of. |
| sit down verb | To assume a sitting position from a standing position. |
| come through verb | To come into a room or other space through a door or passageway. |
| come up with verb | To manage to produce, deliver, or present (something) by inventing, creating, thinking of, or obtaining it. |
| get out verb | To leave or escape. |
| go through with verb | To carry out (something planned or promised); to proceed with or continue with. |
| look around verb | To inspect a building or area. |
| look down verb | To lower one's eyes; to direct one's look downwards. |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | I've been chewing |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've been · I've gotten · I've ever purchased |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | be left · being bred · can't be done |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | companion, which is · someone who is |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 148 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: bash /bæʃ/, destruction /dɪsˈtɹʌkʃən/, asphalt /ˈæʃfɑlt/, moustache /ˈmʌstæʃ/, impressionable /ɪmˈpɹɛ.ʃən.ə.bəl/
- Long words — get the stress right: necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, disappointed /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnɪd/, difficulty /ˈdɪfɪkəlti/, equality /ɪˈkwɑ.lɪ.ti/, inability /ˌɪnəˈbɪlɪti/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like companion, cigar, encourage.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.