Shadowing Practice: I’m 53. These Tiny Habits Help Me Look and Feel Younger - Learn English Speaking with Video
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In a video I uploaded a few months ago, I mentioned that I was 52, and apparently that became the plot twist,
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because suddenly the comments were completely full of people saying, wait, you're 52?
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How do you look so young?
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What's your secret?
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And first of all, thank you.
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Please continue.
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I am not above enjoying a compliment.
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But I also think the real answer is probably not what people expect, because this is not going to be a video about sunscreen
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or collagen powder
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or drinking more water now to be clear i definitely do
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care about skin care i've actually made skin care videos in the past
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and if you are interested in the more practical skin care side of things then i will link those below
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but this video is not really a skin care video it's a vitality video
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because yes skin care matters sleep matters nutrition matters all those things matter
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but i personally think
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that looking younger is often a byproduct of something deeper how
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you live how you move how you think about yourself what you refuse to normalize
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and whether you're still actively participating in your own life
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so today i want to share the tiny habits
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that help me look and feel younger at 53 not
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because i'm trying to be 35 again but
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because i have absolutely no intention of getting smaller quieter
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or less alive with age in this video i've got six tiny habits to share with you.
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And the first habit might be the most important one.
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Habit number one is I do not treat aging like decline.
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And I mean that very literally.
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I don't automatically interpret getting older as becoming less interesting, less relevant, less attractive, less ambitious,
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less capable, or less allowed to want things.
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Because I think one of the ways
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that people start aging before they need to is they begin rehearsing an identity of decline.
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They start saying things like, well, at my age.
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Like, at my age, I can't start over.
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At my age, I can't wear that.
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At my age, I can't learn that.
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At my age, I can't change careers.
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At my age, I can't put myself out there.
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And eventually, at my age, kind of becomes like a prison sentence.
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Now, obviously, age is real.
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I am not pretending that time isn't passing.
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I am not going to sit here and tell you
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that 53 is the same as 23 because it isn't
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and frankly thank god i do not need to be 23 again i have met 23 year old me
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and she had some lovely qualities but she was also exhausted anxious
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and had terrible boundaries
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so this isn't about denying age it's about refusing to let
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age become the entire explanation for what is still possible your age is information it is not a cage
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and there's actually some fascinating research on this.
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Yale researcher Becca Levy has studied how our beliefs about aging affect health and longevity.
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In one well -known study, people with more positive self -perceptions of aging lived,
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on average, 7 .5 years longer than those with more negative self -perceptions.
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Now, that does not mean that you can positive think your way out of biology.
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That is not what I am saying, but it does suggest that how we think about aging matters.
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Because beliefs influence behavior.
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Behavior influences health, and identity influences what we even attempt.
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If you believe that you are already becoming irrelevant, you will move differently through the world.
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You will take fewer risks.
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You will stop entering new rooms.
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You will stop investing in your body.
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You will stop dressing like you're still in the game.
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You will stop learning things that make you feel alive.
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And over time, that starts to show.
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For me, this has been a huge part of my own reinvention.
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I left medicine in my 40s.
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I had already built a stable, respected career.
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I had a family.
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I had responsibilities.
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I could have easily told myself, it's too late.
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You have already chosen your path.
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This is who you are now.
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But I didn't.
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I chose to see midlife not as the beginning of the end, but as the beginning of a much more honest chapter
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and since then i have built a business grown a youtube channel written books stepped into speaking
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and started doing things that younger me would have found completely terrifying and it's
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because i stopped asking myself am i too old for this
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a way better question to ask is who would i become if i allowed myself to try that's the habit.
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When I catch myself thinking maybe I'm too old for that, I try to pause and ask a better question.
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What would it look like to approach this like someone who is still becoming?
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Because aging differently starts with refusing to narrate your own disappearance.
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Okay, the second habit is a little more concrete, and it's this.
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The second habit is that I strength train.
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And I am sorry to report that the secret is not a serum.
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It is probably squats.
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I know, rude.
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But honestly, I think that strength training is one of the most powerful things
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that you can do if you want to look and feel younger.
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And it's not just about aesthetics.
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Yes, muscle changes the shape of your body.
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Yes, it helps with tone.
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And yes, it can affect body composition.
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But I think that the bigger thing is that muscle changes how you carry yourself.
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It changes your posture.
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It changes your confidence.
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And that matters.
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Because one of the most visible signs of aging, it's not a wrinkle.
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It's the slow shrinking of someone's physical presence.
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The body starts to look uncertain and fragile.
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And the person starts moving through the world as though they are trying not to take up too much space.
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And listen, there are many reasons that can happen.
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Injury, illness, stress, hormones, life demands.
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This is not about blaming anyone, but I do think that we underestimate how much vitality is physical.
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For women especially, strength training becomes incredibly important in midlife
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because we are dealing with changes in muscle mass and bone density and metabolism and hormones.
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And the research here is very solid.
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Resistance training has been shown to improve strength, muscle mass, physical function, and bone health in older adults.
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But beyond the research, there is the feeling of it.
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There is something very different about aging while feeling strong.
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It gives you a completely different relationship with your body.
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I strength train because I want to feel powerful in my body.
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I want to be able to lift things and travel
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and walk for hours and try new sports and move through airports and live my actual life.
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I want my body to feel like a place I can rely on.
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You don't need to become a bodybuilder, but you do need to challenge your muscles.
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Push, pull, squat, hinge, carry, and do it consistently because muscle is agency.
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And there is a particular kind of youthfulness that comes from looking like your body still belongs to you.
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The third habit is that I protect my energy like it actually matters.
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And I genuinely think
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that one of the most underrated beauty treatments is not secretly resenting everyone around you
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because i have watched people age under the weight of things
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that they never learned how to put down over functioning people pleasing taking responsibility for everyone else's feelings saying yes
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when every cell in their body is saying no living in a state of low -grade resentment
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and calling it being nice And again, this is not about blame.
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Most of us learned this honestly.
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Many of us were trained to be accommodating and pleasant and endlessly available.
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But at some point, that becomes very draining and very expensive.
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It costs you sleep.
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It costs you your nervous system.
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And I think it shows because chronic stress affects the body profoundly.
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There's research connecting chronic psychological stress with biological aging pathways including
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telomere biology stress affects inflammation immune function sleep cravings mood hormones
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and how safe you feel in your own life for me leaving medicine was the moment
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when i reclaimed my own energy i loved many parts of being a doctor
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but i had also spent years holding a lot responsibility emotional intensity other people's needs systems
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that were difficult to change and a pace
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that did not always leave much room for my own expansion
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and when i left it wasn't
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because i wanted an easier life i still work hard i
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run a business i create content i write i speak i
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have a family it's not as though i left medicine and now spend my days floating around in linen gently misting orchids.
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Although frankly, some days that doesn't sound too bad.
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But the difference is that I am much more intentional now about what gets access to me.
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That is a tiny habit.
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I pay attention to resentment.
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I pay attention to dread and to the situations where I feel myself shrinking
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or performing or abandoning myself to keep everyone else comfortable.
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And instead of ignoring those signals, I try to treat them as data.
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So sometimes the answer is a better boundary.
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Sometimes I have to have a hard conversation.
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Sometimes the answer is just a plain old no, because you can't live in a permanent state of, I'll just push through.
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without it taking a toll.
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Protecting your energy, it's not selfish, it's part of staying alive.
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And this is actually one reason why I created my free self -sabotage recovery guide.
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Because so often, the things that drain us, they are not random, they are patterns.
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Like overthinking, people -pleasing, perfectionism, saying yes when we mean no.
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So the guide helps you start to recognize those patterns and interrupt them before they keep running your life in the background.
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So if you want that guide for free, I will link it below.
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Now, the fourth habit is one of my favorites.
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I keep becoming a beginner.
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So I have found that for me, nothing will humble you faster than learning to play golf in your 50s, except possibly trying to speak French in public.
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Both are absolutely excellent if you want to confront every perfectionist tendency you have ever had.
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But I genuinely think that beginnerhood is one of the most important habits for staying youthful.
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Because youthfulness is curiosity and aliveness and a willingness to be a little bit ridiculous.
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It's the part of you that is still willing to be bad at something long enough to get better.
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And I think a lot of people start aging psychologically when they stop being beginners.
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They stop learning things that make them uncomfortable.
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And they stop entering spaces where they don't already know the rules and they stop risking embarrassment and their world gets smaller.
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It's maybe more comfortable, sure, but smaller.
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Me?
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I don't want that.
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I want to keep having things in my life that stretch me.
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For me, in the past couple of years, that has been golf, languages, YouTube, public speaking, and honestly, reinvention itself.
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When I started to learn golf, I was not good.
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I am still very much in the process of becoming good.
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And there is something both horrifying and liberating about being visibly imperfect at something as an adult.
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Because as adults, we like to be competent.
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We like to be impressive and do things where we already know who we are.
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But beginnerhood disrupts that because it forces you to become flexible again.
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It reminds you that you are not finished yet
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and this matters for the brain too lifelong learning
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and cognitive engagement are consistently discussed as part of healthy aging
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challenging yourself learning new skills staying cognitively active these things are
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not just nice hobbies they are part of maintaining adaptability
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and engagement with life but even beyond the brain science i think that there is something spiritual about being a beginner.
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It keeps you humble and awake and in contact with possibility.
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So one of my tiny habits is that I always want to have something in my life where I am learning.
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One of my fellow TEDx speakers, Dr. Brenda Lau, the last time that we got together,
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she told me that it's a huge priority for her at this stage of life to acquire skills, as many skills as she can get.
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And the day after we met up for coffee in Vancouver, she went off to spend the day doing a bear defense training field program with her shotgun.
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Yes, that's exactly what it sounds like.
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There's something pretty badass, I think, about this petite, highly educated doctor,
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anesthetist, and pain specialist doing their defense training out in the field.
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Anyway, the idea here for me is to choose things where I am not the expert.
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Something where I have to show up and practice.
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Where I might look kind of foolish.
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Because aging, in my opinion, accelerates when your world gets smaller.
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Beginnerhood is like Botox for the spirit.
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The fifth habit is that I dress and present myself like I'm still in the game.
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And I know this might sound superficial at first
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but I don't think that it is because at some point I think
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that everyone has to decide am I dressing like I'm still participating in my life
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or am I dressing like I've quietly opted out
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and I want to be very clear this is not about trying to look 25
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or chasing trends or believing
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that your worth depends on how polished you look absolutely not
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this is about self -recognition it is about looking in the mirror
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and seeing someone who is still here still engaged still visible
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still allowed to take up space i think one of the
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quiet pressures we face as we age is the pressure to
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disappear gracefully you know tone it down care a little less
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want a little less be a little less visible don't be too much
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and i reject that completely now that doesn't mean
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that i am dressed up every day there are absolutely days
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when i am in leggings no makeup and simply doing my best
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but in general i care about how i present myself i care about hair
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and skin care and grooming and jewelry and posture
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because those things help me feel congruent with the woman
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that i am becoming
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when i started stepping into a more public -facing season of my life with youtube
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and speaking and business
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and visibility i became much more aware of this how i present myself is simply an expression of my identity
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and this can be very simple a good blazer a pair
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of earrings a lipstick a coat you love workout clothes that make exercise feel a little more inviting.
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So the tiny habit is stop saving your best self for hypothetical occasions.
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Dress for the life you are actually living and in a way that says I have not opted out.
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The sixth habit is that I choose tiny rituals over dramatic overhauls.
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I know everyone wants the one big secret, the one supplement, the one serum, but I think the secret is that there is no one big secret,
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which is deeply annoying and unfortunately true.
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Most of what helps me to look and feel younger is small, repetitive, and almost boring.
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I walk.
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I strength train.
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I try to eat enough protein.
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I protect my sleep as much as real life allows.
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I do basic skincare.
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I learn things.
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I go outside.
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I put myself together.
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I spend time with people who make me feel more like myself.
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I say no to things that aren't aligned and I say yes to things that expand me.
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And no, I do not do all of this perfectly.
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I do not wake up every morning and have a cinematic wellness montage.
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Sometimes I am just trying to get the workout done, answer the emails, and not eat crackers over the sink.
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But I do think that the small things matter
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because they are identity cues every tiny habit reinforces a message about who you are
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that you are someone who takes care of themselves someone who still cares about their energy their strength their presence
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and their future someone who is not waiting for a dramatic overhaul before they start living differently
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and over time those small reinforcements become part of how you see yourself this is really the heart of it for me.
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Here's the thing, we are all aging, but the goal is to age in a way that still feels like us, or maybe even more like us,
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more honest and confident and alive, basically more unwilling to waste time performing a life that no longer fits us.
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So yes, I use skincare.
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Yes, I care about how I look.
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Yes, I enjoy a good compliment on the internet because, well, I'm human.
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I'm not trying to age backwards i'm trying to age awake
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and maybe that's the real difference
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because aging differently isn't about pretending the time isn't passing it means deciding
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that as time passes you are not going to get smaller quieter duller
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or less alive your age is information it's not a cage
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so i'd love to know
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which of these habits do you most want to practice strength
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boundaries beginnerhood style identity let me know in the comments and
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if you want more videos on reinventing yourself in your 30s 40s 50s
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and beyond make sure that you subscribe
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because we are not trying to go back we are building a future self
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that we actually want to become if you enjoyed this video i think
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that you are going to love the one
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that i have queued up for you next on the very next screen and I will see you there.
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Bye.
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Last minute fiddles with hair.
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Okay, hair in my mouth.
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That's annoying.
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Okay, I still have hair that is like, is it stuck in my lipstick?
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It's just like driving me crazy.
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Okay, I gotta figure this out.
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Okay, I think we should be fine.
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Oh my gosh, there's always something.
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Why This Video Is Perfect for Speaking Practice
This video is a goldmine for English learners looking to improve their speaking skills. The speaker’s conversational tone, natural pacing, and relatable content make it ideal for shadowing practice—a technique where you repeat phrases aloud immediately after hearing them. The dialogue balances casual language (“I am not above enjoying a compliment”) with more formal terms (“longevity,” “self - perceptions”), helping you build flexibility in both everyday and academic speech. Plus, the topic of aging is universally engaging, so you’ll stay motivated while practicing. Whether you’re using a shadowing app or just repeating lines, this clip trains you to mimic natural intonation and rhythm, key for IELTS speaking practice and real - world communication.
Breaking Down Natural Speech Patterns
Let’s look at a few lines that showcase authentic English: - “I am not above enjoying a compliment.” The phrase “not above” is a casual way to say “I don’t mind,” which sounds more natural than a stiff “I like compliments.” It’s a great example of how to soften statements. - “At my age, kind of becomes like a prison sentence.” The use of “kind of” (a filler word) makes the sentence flow like real speech. Native speakers often use such phrases to avoid sounding too direct. - “Your age is information; it is not a cage.” The contrast between “information” and “cage” creates a memorable metaphor. Metaphors are common in English and add depth to your speaking, which is crucial for high - scoring IELTS speaking practice.
A Simple Shadowing Routine to Try
Here’s how to use this video with a shadow speak approach:
- Watch the clip once to understand the main idea.
- Pick a 30 - second segment (try the part about “age as information, not a cage”).
- Play a 5 - second line, pause, and repeat it aloud, focusing on matching the speaker’s tone and speed. Use a shadowing app to record yourself.
- Compare your recording to the original. Notice differences in stress (e.g., “NOT a cage”) and pauses.
- Repeat the segment 3–5 times until it feels natural.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | i've actually made · have met · has studied |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | someone who is · people who make · someone who takes |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | has been shown · were trained · are not finished |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.