Shadowing Practice: make them obsessed with you using psychology. - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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Having somebody else obsessed with you and having the power to make someone, not just like infatuation, right?
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Not just lust.
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I'm talking about true obsession with who you really are.
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That's witchcraft, okay?
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That is like a spell you're placing someone under and it's all about seduction.
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Now, you may or may not agree with the tips I'm about to share with you in today's podcast episode, but honestly, it doesn't matter because they work.
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If you're new here, hello, my name is Natalie.
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This is the Improvement for Imbeciles podcast where I share ways I'm getting my shit together
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so that you can get your shit together.
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Car videos are back, guys.
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I stopped them in the summer because it was just unbearable to be in my car, but while this really pretty lighting is on my face,
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I decided to take advantage of the sun going down right here.
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I don't know, it's just a cute vibe, so welcome if you're new here, but if you're coming back, be sure you hit that subscribe button, but I honestly don't want to ramble.
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I want to talk about my first point, which is the Marilyn Monroe effect.
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This is also the alter ego effect or whatever you want to call it.
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A lot of people have been talking about it recently, but it is something that has literally changed my entire life.
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Back in the day, Marilyn Monroe would walk on the street and nobody would notice her, but she would have this thing where she'd turn on her Marilyn Monroe.
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There are so many testimonies of people who've been around Marilyn and she said, I'm going to turn on my Marilyn Monroe
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and people would immediately notice her as soon as she kind of flipped this switch within her.
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When you're trying to seduce someone or make someone obsessed with you, you need to access your own alter ego.
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Before we even start, I need you to write a list of exactly who you want to be.
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Down to your morning routine, down to the things you eat every day, down to who you want to be perceived as.
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Make this list so detailed and make it from the perspective of the person you want to be obsessed with you.
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How do your eyes glisten?
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How do they see you?
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What do they feel when they look at you?
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And I know it sounds really silly, but I think this is the most powerful thing
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when going into seduction or any type of love spell because you cannot regard yourself as just normal you, right?
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You need to regard yourself as the you you want them to be obsessed with.
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How others perceive you is not something that you can control.
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You can only control how you react to yourself and the type of person you want to become.
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How confident are you in order to seduce someone and make someone obsessed with you?
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Are you obsessed with yourself?
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Are you doing everything you need to do to even sustain if you attracted this person into your life?
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Because when people talk about like law of attraction and all of that, like when you're trying to manifest a specific person, you literally have to be a vibrational match to what you're experiencing.
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You cannot be living in your current reality and jump into this new one where this person is obsessed with you.
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You have to create a completely different version of yourself because who you are now, you're not even obsessed with.
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You don't even believe that someone could be obsessed with you.
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Why would someone be obsessed with you?
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You're giving them no reason to.
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If you are a woman watching this video, you need to understand the psychology that goes behind a man who is falling in love.
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There are different chemicals released in a man's brain when he falls in love versus a woman's brain.
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Women fall in love with dopamine and oxytocin.
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Simply making us happy will make us fall in love with you over time.
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There's a lot more that goes into it, but if you are obsessing over someone, it's because they are fulfilling a certain fantasy that you want to see in your life.
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Simultaneously, men have that same fantasy, right?
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But they fall in love with testosterone and vasopressin.
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Vasopressin is a chemical that is released in a man's brain when he overcomes a stressful situation.
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Essentially, he needs to see you as a little bit of a challenge, right?
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If you're a woman watching this video, this is extremely important, but this can also be applied to men who are trying to get someone else obsessed with them too.
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It honestly is universal.
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Do not be afraid to walk away.
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This is my number one piece of advice for any type of dating situation.
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You cannot settle and convince yourself that something is okay when it's not, especially in the beginning stages.
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Because when you first meet someone, you're not actually meeting them.
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You're meeting their representative.
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You're meeting who they want you to see, right?
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You're not meeting their insecurities.
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You're not meeting their fears.
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You're not meeting the side of them that they're hiding from you and it's likewise for you too.
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If you want to seduce someone, they're falling in love with the idea of you before they fall in love with who you actually are.
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I also want to add this podcast isn't to tell you to change yourself in order to seduce someone
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and blah blah blah.
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The power of seduction is used in so many different things.
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It's used in sales, in marketing, on your TikTok feed or Instagram feed.
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Like you are seduced without even knowing you're seduced.
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Persuasion might be a little bit of a better word, but the art of seduction can be used in so many different circumstances.
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So the main thing to remember is to be yourself and be authentic always.
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Because when someone falls in love with the idea of you, the mask is gonna slip at some point.
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You can't be inauthentic to who you are and try to win someone over because that means you're not secure with yourself, so it would never work.
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When I say create an alter ego, I don't mean create a fake self.
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Create a heightened version of the person that you want to become
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because right now you're tolerating certain insecurities you have that aren't really necessary and you don't need anymore.
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There are parts of you that you are aware of that you're holding back.
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Address those traits you're holding back.
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There is no way you can make someone obsessed with you
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if you don't become obsessed with becoming the best version of yourself.
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That's it.
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And I feel like so many times people will mistake the power dynamics of it all.
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It's like you like the idea of someone being obsessed with you
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because you lack that obsession for yourself when if you had more confidence
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and I mean this goes for both genders
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if you had more confidence you would feel a lot more secure in having someone not like you because that's okay.
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I don't even know you and to be honest I wouldn't even want to date you either.
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You don't even like me.
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Why would you want to date someone that doesn't even like you.
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Why would you want to be in a constant battle of convincing someone to love you?
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Do you love yourself?
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Really, like do you love yourself?
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If you're watching this video in order to make someone who has made it clear to you that they are not interested, obsessed, you are living in a delusion.
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Now that doesn't mean it can't come true, but you also need to come to terms with yourself first and foremost.
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There's no way of getting out of this insecurity that is within you.
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Nobody who comes into your life and loves you will get rid of those things that you've been avoiding within yourself.
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And I've totally been there.
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I am not saying this out of a place of judgment.
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I'm saying this out of a place of love
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because I've sacrificed myself for love and I've gotten myself in hurtful positions doing
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so much for someone who just wouldn't do the same for me.
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And I don't want to see you in a situation like that.
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Now that we got that out of the way, find out your art of seduction archetype.
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Now, a lot of people talk about the art of seduction book.
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I've only listened to the audiobook.
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I'm not too much of a sit down and read type of person because I got ADHD.
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But one thing I realized is that a lot of people will say, oh, this is how you become a siren.
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This is how you become more coquette or whatever the case is there's
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so many different archetypes other than the siren or the coquette or whatever other people are saying that you should be.
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You might not fit into that box.
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If you try to use siren techniques and you are not a siren, it might not work as well for you and that's just facts.
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Like to be a siren, you have to be so nonchalant and I don't know about y'all but I'd be shalanting.
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I'd be shalanting because like I'm just a very very extroverted person.
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I love to laugh.
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I love to be who I am
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and trying to water down who you are in order to get someone obsessed with you again isn't gonna work.
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And I'll link down in the description a free quiz
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that you guys can go take to figure out what archetype you are.
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But this will just help you know what characteristics are your strong suits.
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Let's just talk about how to seduce as a siren in this video.
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If you guys like a full video of all the archetypes, let me know.
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I just don't want this video to be too long.
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First thing you need to do
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if you want to seduce someone as a siren is know that you are worthy of receiving.
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Do not be in your proving energy.
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A lot of women, when they get into situations with men, decide to try to prove themselves before they really realize that man hasn't even proved himself to you.
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You just saw him and thought he was handsome
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and thought he had money and saw that other girls were looking his way.
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So all of a sudden, when he gives you attention, you're starstruck.
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No, babe.
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Like, he hasn't proven himself to you.
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What does he do for work?
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What are his hobbies?
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How are his friends like?
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Has he done anything to try to impress you?
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It is so important to realize when you go into dating someone that it's so much more than looks.
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How do they make you feel?
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What are the little things, right?
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Number two, I want you to start using eye contact.
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These are small techniques to really lure someone in.
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Be very very attentive when you talk to them right?
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Not too attentive where you're staring at them like this
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but like use your eye contact and maybe glance off for a second
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and then when they're saying something really important or saying something
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that you're really interested in really look at them and just be interested.
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Just like you know do very very gentle movements.
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Don't do too much.
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I think that's what sabotages a lot of women is they
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don't allow someone to show them who they are before just jumping into things.
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They'll say one thing that you like and all of a sudden you're all over them.
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They haven't shown you anything.
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Number three is to be playful, okay?
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Laugh, have a good time.
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Really try to accentuate the positive when you're around them.
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If you are in the dating scene and you're starting to see someone, whatever positive thing they do for you, give them a lot of praise for it,
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especially if you present a problem and they solve it.
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Which is number four.
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Make small problems that they need to solve.
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And I'm not saying lie or be deceitful.
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I'm just saying, for example, oh, I really need some medicine, my stomach hurts.
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I can go to the store for you.
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If they don't do that, it's probably unlikely that they're the type of man that you want in your life.
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A man who is interested in you wants to help you.
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They will show you that they're obsessed with you through their actions.
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There is no journal prompt you can do to like make
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someone fall madly in love with you who's just not on that type of level.
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And if you're feeling that way, really ask yourself, why do I want to convince someone who doesn't like me to like me?
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What am I resisting within myself that I need to love?
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Because that's part of you
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that you are resisting right like you are attached to an idea of someone rather than the reality
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that they're showing you so knowing that you already have the energy within you
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and if they're trying to impress you you need to acknowledge
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that if you're interested in them
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and accept their help you don't need to do too much
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as a woman to get attention from men we just naturally attract attention from men beauty is
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so extremely valuable
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and something i've noticed within my own life is the more you work on the inner beauty that's within yourself,
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the more it shines within your outer beauty too and you'll just have this aura about you.
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The people who are attracted or obsessed with you will just notice that about you and just be drawn to you.
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You're like a magnet.
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Which brings me into number five, take space.
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You cannot be so willing to just give people your energy.
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They have to have time to miss you because if you're not missed, if they don't really think about you when you're away, that is a bad sign.
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That's a sign saying, oh, I don't really care about that girl, but she's around.
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Girl, he's not into you.
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And I hate that that's the truth, but I think sometimes we overcomplicate things as women.
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Like, we'll think, oh, like, he's just kind of shy.
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Okay, if he's shy, girl, if he's shy in that way, close mouths, don't get fed, right?
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And there's a difference.
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Yes, sometimes you do have to reach out and see what's going on, but don't overextend your energy when there's no reciprocation. Be busy.
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Even if you have to make it up that you're busy.
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Like, who cares if you're actually busy?
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Like, I know a lot of people were saying online and arguing like, oh my god, that's kind of pathetic if you have to make yourself busy.
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Don't lie.
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Sometimes you need to distract yourself from things.
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Like, whatever you can do to distract yourself from this person or this situation, I think that's healthy.
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You know, go do something.
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Rather than just sitting around and waiting for a text and being pathetic, go use this energy for the better.
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Go use this energy to better yourself.
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Do something that makes you genuinely happy because
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if you don't necessarily have hobbies or things that you're doing outside of this connection, it can just be a huge red flag.
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Number seven, don't be afraid to compliment someone.
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When you think about men, most men don't receive compliments.
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So if you just give a man a compliment about something that's very, very niche, whether it's like, you know, his shirt or the way he does his hair, don't force it, obviously.
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But if you see something you like, compliment them.
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What's going on, besties?
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So my microphone cut out in the last part of the video.
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So I'm just going to finish off with saying this.
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If you want someone to be obsessed with you, you need to be obsessed with yourself first and foremost.
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And you need to push yourself outside your comfort zone to what you normally do
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and remember don't try to be something you're not i didn't want to make this video to tell you
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that you have to be a certain way
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or you have to change yourself in order to get people to like you
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because that's just not my vibe you guys know me
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but it's completely normal to want people to like you to want
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that type of attention especially in a romantic sense but with
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that being said you guys thank you guys so much for tuning in i'll see you guys next week bye y'all
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “make them obsessed with you using psychology”. This video has 214 sentences and 2826 words to shadow. The speech runs for 13:58. The speaker talks fast, about 202 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| obsess verb | /əbˈsɛs/ | To be preoccupied with a single topic or emotion. |
| seduce verb | /sɪˈd(j)uːs/ | To beguile or lure (someone) away from duty, accepted principles, or proper conduct; to lead astray. |
| siren noun | /ˈsaɪɹən/ | One of a group of nymphs who lured mariners to their death on the rocks. |
| seduction noun | /sɪˈdʌk.ʃn̩/ | The act of seducing. |
| archetype noun | /ˈɑɹkɪtaɪp/ | An original model of which all other similar concepts, objects, or persons are merely copied, derivative, emulated, or patterned. |
| compliment noun | /ˈkɑmpləmənt/ | An expression of praise, congratulation, or respect. |
| insecurity noun | A lack of security; uncertainty. | |
| altar noun | /ˈɔl.tɚ/ | A table or similar flat-topped structure used for religious rites. |
| podcast noun | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | A program, especially an audio program, produced on a regular basis, delivered over the Internet in a compressed digital format and designed for playback on… |
| attentive adjective | /əˈtɛntɪv/ | Paying attention; noticing, watching, listening, or attending closely. |
| coquette noun | /koʊˈkɛt/ | A woman who flirts or plays with people's affections. |
| vasopressin noun | /ˌveɪzoʊˈpɹɛsɪn/ | An antidiuretic hormone secreted by the pituitary gland. |
| distract verb | /dɪˈstɹækt/ | To divert the attention of. |
| perceive verb | /pɚˈsiv/ | To become aware of, through the physical senses, to see; to understand. |
| foremost adjective | /ˈfɔː.məʊst/ | Positioned in front of (all) others in space, most forward. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| hold back verb | To act with reserve; to contain one's full measure or power. |
| come back verb | To return to a place. |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
| find out verb | To discover, as by asking or investigating. |
| get out of verb | To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of. |
| go down verb | To descend; to move from a higher place to a lower one. |
| reach out verb | To extend one's hand(s) forward; to reach for something. |
| sit around verb | To spend time sitting idly, not doing anything important. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- How do your eyes glisten?
- How do they see you?
- What do they feel when they look at you?
- Are you obsessed with yourself?
- Why would someone be obsessed with you?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | have been talking · you've been avoiding |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | be perceived · be obsessed · is obsessed |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | who've been · has made · I've sacrificed |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | point, which is · man who is · men who are |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 111 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: pathetic /pəˈθɛtɪk/, inauthentic /ˌɪnɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: seduction /sɪˈdʌk.ʃn̩/, obsession /əbˈsɛʃən/, delusion /dɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/, nonchalant /ˌnɑn.ʃəˈlɑnt/, persuasion /pɚˈsweɪʒən/
- Long words — get the stress right: vasopressin /ˌveɪzoʊˈpɹɛsɪn/, accentuate /əkˈsɛn.t͡ʃu.eɪt/, audiobook /ˈɔdi.oʊbʊk/, extroverted /ˈɛkstɹəˌvəɹtɪd/, inauthentic /ˌɪnɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like obsess, seduce, siren.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.