Shadowing Practice: how to get what you want effortlessly - Learn English Speaking with Video
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I need you to listen very carefully to what I'm going to say in this video
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because I'm literally giving you the playbook.
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If you're not happy with the life that you're currently living, you're allowed to feel that way.
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But your feelings aren't changing your life and they're certainly not going to get you the lifestyle,
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the body, the relationship, the whatever you clicked on this video hoping to get.
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Everything in life costs some form of effort and that's just the truth.
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The question isn't whether you're spending your effort, it's what you're spending it on.
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Your brain has a limited amount of cognitive energy every single day and if you spend it on the wrong things,
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you're going to feel exhausted before you even have the chance to even touch the things that will move your life forward.
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This is the majority of us, working 9 to 5s, working day -to -day jobs.
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It's okay to spend your time making a living, but just because you're surviving doesn't mean you're doing what you actually desire.
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And I know you have desires because you clicked on this video.
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Every single day, your brain is making hundreds, maybe even thousands of decisions.
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What should I wear?
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What do I want to go eat?
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Should I respond to them?
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Should I quit my job?
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All of these questions have different cognitive efforts, but your brain doesn't distinguish between one life -changing question and 50 tiny ones.
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So obviously, if you spend your time making all of these small little decisions every single day, you're going to feel exhausted all the time.
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That's probably what you feel right now.
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But sometimes when you're in a constant state of questioning, you stop trying to answer any question at all
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because everything is just too overwhelming for you to think about
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it makes sense why you want things to be effortless
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because every single decision you happen to make feels like a life
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or death situation if we're being completely honest here
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if you received the life
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that you wanted without having to put in any effort towards
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it do you really think you'd appreciate it as much the answer is no
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but because you've been so overwhelmed by all of this different information online
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because there's so many videos of people getting their dream life you start to look at yourself
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and go why am i not in
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that position you will eventually stop searching for the lessons
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you need to learn at this stage in your life this is a trap
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that a lot of people fall into asking yourself the hard questions
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that will actually move you forward often makes you feel less motivated than
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if you just went somewhere
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and they told you sweet nothings this video is not sweet nothings i'm gonna save you the money
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and the time right now this video is going to help handhold you through some of those realizations
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if you're new here my name is natalie
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and this is where i share ways that i'm getting my together
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so that you can get your together if
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that sounds good to you be sure to like this video
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and subscribe it really helps push my videos out to those who need it
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and i understand the intro was a lot
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but listen i don't sugarcoat things around here okay i'm gonna tell you the truth even
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if it hurts your feelings because i know i would have appreciated it
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if i was on the other side of the screen here's the thing the life
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that you actually want is almost always hiding behind one of
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three doors door number one is the fear of being seen door number two is the fear of failure
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and door number three is the fear of becoming the person you've always wanted to become.
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Just look around you.
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A lot of people spend their lives trying to outrun these fears.
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When they don't learn the lesson, one of these three fears always leads them to their own downfall, which is basically mediocrity.
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There is nothing special about anybody who's successful.
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They have just simply decided that they are not going to negotiate with these fears anymore.
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They are not going to let the ceiling of these fears limit them.
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So here's the chapters on the screen right now we're going to be getting into some good stuff listen
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because i'm actually going to be deep diving into these topics i'm not going to rush over anything
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that way you actually have a grip on exactly how to get over it first of all
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you don't have a fear of being seen you have fear of being seen poorly
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because if everybody loved you you wouldn't give a shit like you'd be like yes like everyone loves me
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but you just don't like the fact
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that other people can see you in a negative light the reason why every single action you take feels
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so emotionally and mentally exhausting is because you are making those decisions based on the lens of how other people view you.
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You have to try on multiple different perspectives before you even make a decision for yourself.
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Your first question when you have to make a life -changing decision isn't, what do I want?
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It's, how will other people perceive what I want?
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Should I even want this?
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Is this something that society would approve of me wanting?
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You're not weird for doing this.
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It's what we're biologically conditioned to do a lot of people
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when they give advice about this they're just like well just stop caring it's like that's
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so dumb it's like when you're a kid
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and you don't want to get in trouble dang i really want to do this thing
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but i think my mom is going to get mad at me
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so i'm gonna hide
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that i'm doing this thing
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that's kind of what you're doing with your own desires in
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a sense like you know what you want to do you have the desire to go after it
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but you're hiding your own desires from the world
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because you fear the perception of what people are going to label you as.
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When you are grappling with an insecurity, your brain often goes towards extremes.
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So if you deeply fear being perceived, you're either going to go back and forth between,
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I don't care, why would I care about what they think about me?
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Because they're wearing this, they're this, they're losers, whatever.
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That's a cope.
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okay?
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I love you and it might make you feel good in the moment
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and there is a time and a place for that advice, but ultimately, it's a cope.
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On the other side, your brain will literally convince you that anything you do is worthless.
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Regardless of which way you go, you are still interpreting whatever actions you take through the lens of other people, even if you're not trying to.
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I literally hear it all the time.
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People will say, well, I don't want to post my personality on social media
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because I don't want people to think that I'm conceited.
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Or I don't want to start going to the gym
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because I don't want people to think that I don't know what I'm doing.
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Even though you know that thing is what you want to do, you are limited because you are predetermining somebody else's reaction to you.
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Nothing has happened yet.
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You still haven't made a decision.
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You still haven't made any movement towards what you actually want.
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You are stuck in decision fatigue.
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Some of you are not actually scared of what you want.
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You are scared of the reaction that other people are going to have if you start going after it.
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The reality that a lot of people don't want to hear is this mechanism in your brain isn't actually useless.
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Being able to put yourself in somebody else's shoes is a good thing, but there's a time and a place.
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You need to learn how to use it correctly so that it doesn't ruin your life and ruin your self -concept.
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For example, if you've already decided in your mind that you want to start a business,
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it makes sense why you want people to have a good perception of you because you have an incentive.
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You want to sell what you're selling.
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You want to make money.
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You want to have a successful business.
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Reputation is important.
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It's not crazy to care about what other people think about you.
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It's good to have an ego.
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It's good to have a reputation.
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Naturally, your mind is going to start thinking, well, what are people going to think about this?
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But the thing is, you will never know.
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The truth is, some people might think your business is stupid.
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Some friends might support it.
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But there's a lot of people who are literally not going to know about it.
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The people who are unaware aren't evil about not caring about what you're doing
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it's just you simply haven't made it something
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that they should care about you are too focused on your own perception
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that you're forgetting a business is not about you it's the
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same thing with social media a lot of people think
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that my videos are about me
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but they're about you i hope you guys care about me
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but i know you guys aren't watching me
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because of me you're watching me because of my insights and it helps you perceive your own life in a certain way.
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If you want to be successful in something, your goal shouldn't be to convince the people who have already predetermined
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that they don't care about what you're doing to start caring.
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Anybody who hates you isn't going to suddenly start giving a shit because you told them to.
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It's a waste of your time to focus on them.
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Now for the people who do support you, support is cool, right?
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But if they're not purchasing from your business, if they're not a client of yours, they might not be helping you grow either.
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If your brain is naturally wired to put yourself into somebody else's shoes.
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Put yourself in the shoes of the consumer.
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Perceive yourself as an outsider who doesn't know you, who doesn't know your past, who doesn't know all the different things you have been through.
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And ask yourself, what are the qualities of the person who would be consuming you as a product
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or consuming your business or consuming whatever you want to start?
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Because when you start asking yourself this, you realize that a lot of people's opinions don't actually matter.
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You are focused on what you want out of life.
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You're focused on type of people you do want to surround yourself with
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and the most important question to ask them is what type
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of problem are you solving for them a lot of people get on the internet
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or start a business not thinking about what their consumer actually wants
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if you want to get what you want out of life
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you need to be able to put yourself into somebody else's shoes the thing about being on social media is
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so many people fear being seen but simultaneously crave it
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so bad they want to be understood they wanted to be acknowledged they want fame they want whatever right
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but they fail to understand the fact
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that the fear of being seen can be the very thing
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that leads them to finding their ideal customer profile
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because think about it
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if you are the product you need to be very clear on your messaging who you want to target
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and what you actually want to say in the world of social media
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it is disingenuous to say well just stop caring about what other people think without any context
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because people post for attention not solely attention but they do post for attention.
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Attention is simply the mechanism to get what you want, but it is not the defining characteristic about your self -concept.
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Where people go wrong is they tie their self -concept to the results of posting.
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They tie their self -concept to how people interpret them instead of asking themselves
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if they're doing what they need to do in order to get the right audience.
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The risks of social media are real.
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The risks of amounting to anything is real.
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Anything
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that requires you will have an associated risk
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that's called life people fear the risks associated with failure more than they fear staying where they're at
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and failing anyways and that's the problem
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so let's talk about how to conquer this fear of failure because now
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that we've got over the whole fear of being seen thing
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i need you to understand your fear of failure is the main thing
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that's really getting in the way again a lot of people just give the advice online of okay,
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well then just don't fail, but that isn't realistic.
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literally every single person on this earth is going to fail
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and fall on their ass okay that's just life it is literally predetermined in every single person's path
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and the thing is your fear of failure makes total sense
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it's scary to put your time money resources attention into something just to have it not produce any results
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but the way
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that you actually get over this fear of failure isn't by trying to avoid
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it it's by calculating risk a lot of people assume
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that successful people just take bigger risks
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but that's honestly not true they just take more calculated risks
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and there is a difference for example let's say
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you quit your job right you have no backup plan
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you just decide i'm gonna quit my job someone with a
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fear of failure thinks well what are other people gonna think about this what
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if i fail what if everybody judges me what
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if i lose all my money and what
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if i literally end up on the street homeless all of these are valid fears especially
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if you're doing something without a calculated plan but a smart person asks different questions
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What is the probability that I can recover?
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What skills do I already have?
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What happens if I stay?
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What happens if I keep this job?
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I want you to really notice that they're not ignoring the risk.
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They aren't just sitting there going, well, I'm just going to make sure I don't fail.
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They are evaluating whether the risk is actually worth the reward.
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Your brain is always calculating risk, always.
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The question that you need to ask yourself is if you're doing it accurately.
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A lot of you have practically zero risk present
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when it comes to getting what you want in life, okay? you literally have nothing to lose
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but you are weighing the risks that really aren't that important extremely high.
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Sending the email isn't what's going to hurt you.
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It's what you interpret no response to mean.
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If you send one email a day, you're going to feel like your entire success is dictated by whether that one person responds.
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But if you send 100 emails a day and you don't get a response, you're still a person who sends 100 emails.
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You actually lessen the perceived risk in your mind even though it's a little bit more effort
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you are weighing something so heavily in your mind
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that you're forgetting action is what matters execution is what matters
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you can't think about all the reasons well what is this
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going to happen what are they going to perceive me as what is it it doesn't matter execute
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you aren't scared of failing you're scared of being a failure
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you're not scared of losing you're scared of being a loser you understand
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when you've already made the decision
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that you're going to do something every single day you limit your decision fatigue
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because regardless of outcome
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you are still going to do it even though you start
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doing more the perceived risk is less in your mind
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because you're doing it more often it's not this big huge thing yes at first
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when you first send an email when you first post
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that thing when you first open your business the first client is going to feel like the biggest thing
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but if you send 100 emails a day it's literally just another day
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if you post once a day it's just another day if you have three clients a day, that's just another day.
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The reason that you're not getting what you want is because you're your own biggest hater.
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You will lose any time
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you interpret resistance towards getting what you want as evidence against yourself instead of data you can learn from.
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If you are constantly adding your losses to the list of things that you hate about yourself, you are your own biggest hater.
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No wonder why you don't get what you want.
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Some people think sending a text is risky starting a business is risky posting on social media is risky meanwhile
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they never calculate the risk of staying exactly where they are
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that's a risk too look at your life do you see a future
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that you're at peace with you take a risk every single day by waking up
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it's just a familiar one a lot of you are fearing
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failure how about fear death like i'm dead serious how about
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fear death how about fear getting to the end of your life
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and not actually doing what you really wanted with it nobody's promise tomorrow comfort is often the biggest gamble
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that so many people overlook simply because a lot of people love it
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and eventually it'll make you bitter
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because you'll start to see somebody exactly where you want it to be doesn't
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that piss you off somebody else getting the spot
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that you want somebody else doing what you want
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and you sitting there not doing anything these things should make you mad
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but they should motivate
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you most of the times the safest option available to you is often the most dangerous for yourself concept
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because it doesn't actually allow you to grow.
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It proves that you will never amount to anything else.
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Mediocre becomes your identity.
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And this isn't rare.
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This is the majority of people.
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Listen to me when I say this.
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The most valuable thing you can have is your own mind.
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Your ability to check your own mind and go, you know what?
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No, that's not true.
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I am capable.
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Just because I failed doesn't mean I'm not capable.
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Let me do it again.
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When you really water down the fears I've discussed so far, it really just comes back to you.
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Let's talk about it, okay?
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Let's talk about the self concept people always say things like oh i'm finding myself
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or i'm rediscovering myself
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but i don't think that's what's going on i don't think
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you're finding yourself i think you're just finally giving yourself permission to make the choices
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that are actually yours
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you weren't born wanting everyone to approve of you you weren't born with a fear of failure you learned
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that somewhere along the way you adopted these beliefs in order to help you feel safe
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so what i'm really trying to say is the goal shouldn't be to find yourself
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because you already are you right it's to remove all the shit
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that isn't you every expectation every fear every self -imposed limitation everything
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that you have convinced yourself
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that you should be in order to be more likable let's start
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there you identify them in the moments where you're deeply insecure
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where you're angry where you're jealous where you're feeling negative emotion
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and this is what nobody tells you on the internet nobody tells
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you to look at the times you're angry nobody tells you to look at the times
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that you're depressed nobody tells you to see the emotion
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but life is really simple if you believe you suck
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if your self -concept is based on you not doing anything with yourself,
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every choice you make will lead back to that conclusion because your mind is trying to fill that loop.
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Your mind is trying to help you heal it.
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That's why it goes back to that belief.
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That's why you have that feeling within you.
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You're not always supposed to feel happy.
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Again, nothing that's worthwhile ever comes easy.
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It's through the things that you've been avoiding within yourself.
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If you can't identify what you've been avoiding, everything is going to be a dead -end road because that dead end is yourself.
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It's the fact that you don't believe in you, so why would other people believe in you?
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It's the fact that you don't believe in your business, so why would other people believe in your business?
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But if you start believing that you're capable of anything, then the failure stops being about you.
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It's just evidence telling you which direction to go.
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It's just data.
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I know I've been yapping for a minute, but I really want to leave you guys off with three ways to heal yourself concepts.
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So how do you believe you don't suck, right?
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Step number one, you don't quit.
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I don't care how hard it gets
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i don't care how the odds are stacked against you i don't care how much you bitch
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and complain shut up never back down from what you know is rightfully yours
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if you are called to a life believe
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that it's already yours you don't need outside confirmation
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you just need to believe in yourself believe you're the shit believe
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that you're capable believe that you are the one that's gonna get it even
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if it's delusional okay who gives a shit this is your life
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Number two, have audacity.
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People like to call audacity a negative thing but in reality every single person who's successful has audacity.
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The millionaires who have the boats and the cars and all
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that like they have the most audacity
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and the way they did it is they had the guts to go after it okay.
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They had audacity.
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They tried every angle, every tactic, every mindset until they found the one that worked and then they turned it all the way up.
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That's how winners operate.
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They don't focus on the failures they focus on what they did right
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and they do it again and again and again
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and number three get pissed i'm gonna keep it
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so real with you guys a lot of you are viewing
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haters all the way wrong okay a lot of you are like well i don't want them to hate me
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and shut the hell up that mindset is not helping you in any way shape
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or form you know what will help you anytime you're unmotivated
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i want you to think the most hateful bitter person
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you know biggest hater i don't know booger in their nose
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i want you to think of this person do you have them in your mind
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because i have mine great now i want you to imagine
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this person every single time you are feeling down every single time
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that you're feeling unmotivated
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and just feeling oh maybe i should not do it i want you to imagine them looking at you up
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and down looking at their friend laughing
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and saying one of these things to you okay are you okay oh no
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i'm just asking i know you've been going through it oh
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so you never ended up achieving it oh yeah we all knew
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we all knew like i mean like you just had these like big dreams
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and we were like whoa like it's okay to be normal
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it's okay to just live like an average life i'm
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so glad you realized you were overdoing
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it though like it was a little bit much i'm glad you're being realistic i don't know about you
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but whatever task that you weren't gonna get done you're gonna get up
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and do it like you're gonna get pissed i don't care what you say i don't care
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if you say oh well you need to be more positive
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i don't care okay
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it works for me the next way to use your haters is the next time
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you're feeling intense doubt i want you to think of
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when you're at your most successful point in life okay i want you to think about the fucking mansion
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and the cars and all the things
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that you want in your life all of the materialistic shit okay i want you to picture
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that horrible nasty person asking you for a job like oh my god
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that one does it for me that one just like lights up my face
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because i'm just like matter of fact no see i don't have any of these things yet
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but visualizing them just really gets me going i see my future
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and it's bright you have to learn how to be your own motivator okay
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you have to learn how to turn your haters into motivation
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because if you don't you're just gonna let them consume you you're just gonna let their thoughts become your thoughts
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and why would you even do that because your thoughts are better than them
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because they don't even think anyways they're really not
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that smart okay like listen don't let the world shame you out of your emotions okay
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if you're feeling angry feel angry use
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that to your benefit every single emotion
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you have serves a purpose don't fall into this whole oh well negativity is bad crap it's only bad
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if you don't know how to channel it
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if you have a negative emotion you can use
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that to your benefit if you're sad write a poem
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if you're angry go to the gym
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if you're like every single emotion has a purpose so stop thinking
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that it doesn't i think every single person needs to have
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about like two to three three ops at one time
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because like when you have enemies in your life you just get
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so motivated it's like yeah i want to shit on all of you like i'm doing better than all of you
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with that being said you guys thank you guys
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so much let me know what pissed you off about this video in the comments
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and be sure to like this video and subscribe go ahead
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and check out my social medias i'm gonna put my instagram
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and my tiktok right over here i've been making daily videos
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so go ahead and check that out and i love you guys
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so much and i'll see you in the next one
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “how to get what you want effortlessly”. This video has 370 sentences and 4494 words to shadow. The speech runs for 20:20. The speaker talks fast, about 221 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 89% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| perceive verb | /pɚˈsiv/ | To become aware of, through the physical senses, to see; to understand. |
| emotion noun | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data. |
| calculate verb | /ˈkælkjʊleɪt/ | To determine the value of something or the solution to something by a mathematical process. |
| consume verb | /kənˈsum/ | To use up. |
| interpret verb | /ɪnˈtɜː.pɹɪt/ | To decode the meaning of a topic and then act, whether to continue researching the topic, follow through, act in opposition, or further the understanding… |
| convince verb | /kənˈvɪns/ | To make someone believe, or feel sure about something, especially by using logic, argument or evidence. |
| perception noun | /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/ | The organisation, identification and interpretation of sensory information. |
| risky adjective | /ˈɹɪski/ | Dangerous; involving risks. |
| exhaust verb | /ɪɡˈzɔst/ | To draw or let out wholly; to drain completely. |
| motivate verb | /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/ | To provide someone with an incentive to do something; to encourage; to actuate. |
| naturally adverb | /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/ | In a natural manner. |
| regardless adverb | /ɹɪˈɡɑɹd.lɪs/ | Without attention to warnings or indications of bad consequences. |
| lesson noun | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | A section of learning or teaching into which a wider learning content is divided. |
| reputation noun | /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/ | What somebody or something is known for. |
| belief noun | /bɪˈliːf/ | Mental acceptance of a claim as true. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| get over verb | To overcome. | |
| go ahead verb | /ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/ | To proceed with; to begin. |
| check out verb | To record the departure or withdrawal of someone or something (such as guests, employees, books, etc.). | |
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. | |
| get up verb | To move in an upward direction; to ascend or climb. | |
| go back verb | To return to a place or state after having been there at a previous time. | |
| go back to verb | To stem from; to originate in. | |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- What do I want to go eat?
- Should I respond to them?
- Should I quit my job?
- It's, how will other people perceive what I want?
- Should I even want this?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | you've been avoiding · I've been yapping · you've been going |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | you've been · you've always wanted · have just simply decided |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | being seen · being perceived · is naturally wired |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | those who need · downfall, which is · people who are |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 208 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: worthless /ˈwɜːθ.ləs/, worthwhile /ˌwɜː(ɹ)θˈwaɪl/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, conclusion /kənˈkluːʒən/
- Long words — get the stress right: naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, mechanism /ˈmɛk.ə.nɪ.zəm/, execution /ˌɛk.sɪˈkjuː.ʃən/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like perceive, emotion, calculate.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.