Shadowing Practice: the reason you always feel behind - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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When I was a kid, my dream was to open up my own ice cream shop.
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I have always loved ice cream, and my parents even made me business cards for my business that didn't even exist yet.
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I was probably seven or eight years old, and I really thought this was my calling.
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A part of me still wishes that maybe I'll have my own ice cream store or bakery one day, but if I'm being honest, that will probably never happen.
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And that's just one of the many what-ifs and dreams that will never manifest in my life.
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But for some of my more realistic goals, like buying a house, getting married, having financial freedom, traveling the world, I worry I might never get some of those things either.
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And I'm sure you feel the same way.
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As kids, we were all told to dream big.
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But the problem is that even though these goals seemed hopeful in the moment we made them, they created these massive expectations in our mind.
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Now as adults, there is this massive pressure to live up to these expectations.
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And when things don't go according to plan, our world crumbles and we become depressed.
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The truth is you will probably never get everything you want in this life and that is okay.
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If you don't believe me, I'll prove it to you.
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I grew up being the quintessential perfect kid.
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I got straight A's in every class.
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I did every extracurricular you can possibly think of.
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Got into a super prestigious competitive college.
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The whole resume.
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I got everything me and my parents ever wished for.
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My whole childhood was basically me winning at everything.
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But because I was expected to win, I started wanting to win at everything all the time.
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Even at stuff I was genuinely bad at, like sports.
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Don't even get me started on that stupid pacer test.
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I am not even that athletic, but if I didn't place first among the girls, I would be so embarrassed.
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This competitiveness followed me everywhere, and it really showed up when it was time to figure out my career.
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I knew my real passion was YouTube, but time and time again, I found myself questioning if I was even doing the right thing.
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At some point, I even started applying to corporate jobs on LinkedIn for the same jobs that all my successful friends had.
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There were just so many times I wanted to push my dreams aside to go compete for something
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that everyone else was fighting for.
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And I think that's what happens to all of us.
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Between growing up and becoming an adult, our true unadulterated desires get traded for what we think we're supposed to want.
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Like an impressive salary, a high rise apartment, the nice car, a huge group of friends.
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But the greatest problem is that because all of our desires are borrowed, even when we do get these things, we're still not happy.
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And if we don't get them, also not happy.
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It's a lose-lose.
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This is why people in their 40s
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and 50s start to go a little stir-crazy and go into what we call that midlife crisis.
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Because they suddenly realize
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that they spent their entire lives working in a job they hate just to be able to buy things
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that don't actually make them happy.
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Like just imagine working towards something your entire life just to realize at the end that it wasn't even worth it.
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And social media adds more fire to all of this.
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Every time you scroll, you're consuming someone else's success, every trend that's on the market.
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And over time, we start adopting more desires that don't even align with us.
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This is why so many people our age have shopping addictions.
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They buy, buy, buy trying to fill this hole of not feeling good enough.
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And as soon as they buy their dream thing, the satisfaction of it wears off and they go find something else that's going to make them happy.
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But guys, no amount of stuff is ever going to satisfy your desires because it will never be enough.
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And the word for this feeling is lack.
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And guys, trust me as a girl who literally has her entire career on social media, social media is designed to make you feel lack.
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To convince you that there's something else missing from your life, even if you're already happy.
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It's like when fast food commercials show you a juicy burger and suddenly you start craving it, even if you're not hungry.
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The reason I know this is because I am the girl that did get everything I wanted.
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The apartment, the dream career, the group of friends.
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I worked so long and so hard to be able to get these things that I wanted for so long, but at the end of the day, I can't say I'm 100% happy nor satisfied.
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Every single day, I find more things that I want or things that are missing from my life.
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And the thing I want you to understand is that lack does not exist without your power.
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But the more you stare at it, the louder that feeling gets.
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And over time, you live your life believing that you'll never be pretty enough, rich enough, smart enough.
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This feeling of not being enough is so hard to remove on your own because when you internalize these thoughts, they become part of your identity.
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You literally see them as fact.
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You don't even question the things you want, why you want them.
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And that's why you're still unhappy, even when you do get those things.
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I worked my butt off for three years to be able to move out and get my dream apartment.
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And although it's been great, my life isn't perfect.
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Actually, it's been a lot harder and scarier since moving out
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but i talk about everything with my therapist
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and guys she's actually a lifesaver it took me a really
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long time to even start therapy in the first place
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and i didn't even know where to look for one
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so that's why i really like better help who's the kind
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sponsor for today everything is all done online you just fill out a short questionnaire
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and they match you with a licensed therapist you can meet
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with them at home you don't even have to drive to an office
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and it works around your schedule and
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if the therapist you're matched with isn't the right fit you
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can switch any time for free until you find the right
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one i highly encourage everyone tries therapy especially right after you
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graduate school before you jump into a job my therapist really helped me see who i am
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and the things i want without outside influence you can visit betterhelp.com allison back to get started
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and receive 10 off your first month of therapy
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so now the question becomes so should i just give up and and not want anything anymore?
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No, wanting stuff isn't bad.
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It's human nature to crave, to act on our desires.
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What you have to understand is that there are two completely different ways to want things.
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The first comes from a feeling of lack.
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You want the diet pills because you don't feel skinny enough.
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You want the promotion so that your family will finally accept you.
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You wanna travel because all your friends are going this year and you can't.
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But you're chasing something that's never going to fix that feeling.
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Even if you do get the promotion, is it guaranteed that your family will respect you?
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Even if you do get the money to travel, your friends are still going to go somewhere new every year.
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You are always going to play this game of catch up.
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And we can never control how other people act or how they perceive us.
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That's why buying all this stuff or doing crazy things to your body will never be enough.
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You'll be chasing your own tail because you're convinced it's the solution and it's not.
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It is never about the physical things that you lack.
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It's about you ignoring what you actually need, which is to feel accepted by yourself.
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So the antidote for lack is a kind of wanting that stems from fullness.
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It's having gratitude for what you already have while still striving for more.
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It means going after something you genuinely care about, but being okay without it.
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It's about creating goals that align with you, even if no one else has the same goals.
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Instead of trying to compete in other people's race, you are in your own race.
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You are only competing with yourself.
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Of course, we all want more money, right?
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We want a better house, better clothes, but your reasons for wanting those things have to come from abundance first.
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Before we start wanting anything else, we have to acknowledge what we already have.
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It's so easy for me to look at the girl on Instagram
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and wish I had her life or her body or her connections.
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When in reality, the version of me five years ago would have done anything to have the life I have right now.
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I walk around my apartment and forget that this was my dream literally a year ago.
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I get so stressed about creating content and forget that this was all I ever wanted to do.
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Remember to notice all the things you worked for in your life and appreciate them.
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You are living someone else's dream right now.
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So many people would do anything to be in your position.
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And the crazy thing is when you start thinking this way, you realize that you cannot feel gratitude and lack in the same moment.
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Try it.
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They can't both be in the room at once.
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Your life is not a to-do list.
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All these milestones like get a good job, get married, buy a house, have kids, we're all drilled into your mind from a young age.
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Yes, it's great to want these things, but question why you want them.
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And just remember that your version of a marriage, a house, and a family will look different from everyone else's and it's supposed to.
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The reality is that we're all gonna die with things still unchecked on our list.
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But I think that's the point in life.
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It's not about getting everything you want, It's learning to live with what you have and building a life that you're happy with.
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You are allowed to want things and be at peace at the same time.
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Maybe in a few years, I'll actually want to open up my ice cream shop, or maybe I won't.
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And if I don't, it'll be a sweet little memory, not a loss.
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I wasn't handing out fake business cards at seven years old to make a massive profit.
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I just liked serving people and making them happy.
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And I do that now in so many more ways than I could have ever imagined.
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So sometimes the things you want aren't actually what you want.
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And it's not sad.
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It's actually quite freeing.
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If any of this resonated with you, then let me know in the comments what your ice cream shop was or what this made you think of.
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And if you like these big sis advice chats, I'll link my whole playlist right here.
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I love you guys and remember that you will always be enough.
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I'll see you in the next one.
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Bye.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “the reason you always feel behind”. This video has 139 sentences and 1940 words to shadow. The speech runs for 8:42. The speaker talks fast, about 223 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 89% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| therapist noun | /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/ | Someone who provides therapy, usually professionally. |
| align verb | /əˈlaɪn/ | To form a line; to fall into line. |
| gratitude noun | /ˈɡɹæ.tɪ.tud/ | The state of being grateful. |
| satisfy verb | /ˈsætɪsfaɪ/ | To be enough (for) |
| expectation noun | /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/ | The act or state of expecting or looking forward to an event as about to happen. |
| genuinely adverb | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | In a genuine manner; truthfully, truly. |
| antidote noun | /ˈæn.tɪ.doʊt/ | A remedy to counteract the effects of poison. |
| competitiveness noun | /kəmˈpɛtɪtɪvnəs/ | The state of being competitive. |
| crumble verb | /ˈkɹʌmbəl/ | To fall apart; to disintegrate. |
| extracurricular adjective | /ˌɛkstɹəkəˈɹɪkjʊlə(ɹ)/ | Outside of the normal curriculum of an educational establishment. |
| fullness noun | /ˈfʊlnəs/ | Being full; completeness. |
| internalize verb | /ɪnˈtɝnəlaɪz/ | To make something internal; to incorporate it in oneself. |
| lifesaver noun | /ˈlaɪfˌseɪvəɹ/ | A lifeguard or other rescuer. |
| midlife adjective | /ˈmɪdlaɪf/ | Occurring in the middle point of one's life, usually considered about 45. |
| questionnaire noun | /ˌk(w)ɛstʃəˈnɛə/ | A form containing a list of questions; a means of gathering information for a survey. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| grow up verb | To mature and become an adult. | |
| move out verb | To leave one's present location; to leave somewhere for another place. | |
| open up verb | To open. | |
| catch up verb | To pick up suddenly. | |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. | |
| fill out verb | /fɪl ˈaʊt/ | To complete a form or questionnaire with requested information. |
| give up verb | To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone). | |
| hand out verb | To distribute; to give out, either by hand or as if so (figuratively). |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | if I'm being honest, that will probably · If you don't believe me, I'll prove · if I don't, it'll be |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was expected · are borrowed · is designed |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 48 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, you're, I'll. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, cloth /klɒθ/, athletic /æθˈlɛt.ɪk/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, quintessential /ˌkwɪntɪˈsɛnʃəl/, addiction /əˈdɪkˌʃən/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, competitiveness /kəmˈpɛtɪtɪvnəs/, extracurricular /ˌɛkstɹəkəˈɹɪkjʊlə(ɹ)/, internalize /ɪnˈtɝnəlaɪz/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like therapist, align, gratitude.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.