Shadowing Practice: Why You Dream Big but Never Start (and how to fix that) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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There is a version of your life that you think about all the time.
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You can see it clearly.
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The business, the body, the creative project, the move abroad, whatever it is.
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And yet, every day you wake up and do nothing about it.
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This is really common and it happens not because you're lazy.
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Please stop calling yourself that.
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I used to call myself a lazy person so much in the past.
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And now I know I did that because I didn't really understand the real explanation for why I was behaving that way.
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So let's talk about why you have all of these ambitious goals and dreams but never start.
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And most importantly, what is going on in your brain when this happens.
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If you're new here, I'm Veronica and on this channel I talk about nervous system regulation,
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building better habits, and learning how to actually live intentionally instead of just consuming content about it.
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And if this topic really resonates with you, I'm at a free guide called Your Nervous System Reset.
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It's 17 pages long and it's completely free.
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So if you want to grab it, you can click the link in the description.
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Alright, so let's get into the video and talk about why you dream big but do nothing about it.
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And the first thing that I want to tell you guys is that it's probably not a motivation problem.
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It's your nervous system.
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There's this research book by two amazing scientists who literally dedicated their careers to studying procrastination.
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when you think procrastination research, you should think about these two names.
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And in chapter 8 of this research book, they lay out the idea that procrastination is not a time management problem.
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It's an emotion regulation problem.
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This concept is so important, and I talked about it in this video right here, where I talked about time management,
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so you can watch it later for the planning.
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It's because starting usually feels emotionally uncomfortable.
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It creates some sort of friction and your brain is choosing to avoid that discomfort.
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Obviously when you think about your big dreams
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and your goals there are a lot of pleasant emotions
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that you're feeling
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but the moment you actually start thinking about okay I need to start working towards my dream so I need
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is your phone is right there.
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Social media is right there for you to enjoy.
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And instead of pushing through all of those uncomfortable feelings, your brain chooses the easiest emotional regulation method,
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which is being on your phone, not doing anything, and just doom scrolling.
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Your brain basically says, let me feel better right now.
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And scrolling is the fastest repair mood tool that you And in this chapter,
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Timothy Pickle and Fuchsia Serrois said that this doesn't mean that you don't know how to regulate your emotions.
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This means misregulation.
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So there is a difference between these two words, under -regulation and misregulation.
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And misregulation means that you are regulating your emotions when you do that, when you scroll instead of working towards your goals.
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because it makes things worse instead of actually working towards your goals
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and achieving your dreams you're not starting you're not doing anything
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you avoid the task you procrastinate you feel better for five minutes and then what happens guilt hits
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And all of that guilt makes you feel even worse than the original discomfort,
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the original friction you were feeling when you were thinking about starting and working on your project, let's say.
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And then what do we do to cope with guilt?
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We avoid again.
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We're trying to regulate our emotions, but what happens is misregulation.
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It creates this downward spiral.
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Seroua found that people who procrastinate the most have a weaker connection to their future self.
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When you put off working on your dream, your present self is stealing from your future self.
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Because it is still something that you want to do, it's still something that you have to do, but you're not doing it right now, so you will have to do it in the future,
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especially if you have a deadline.
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You basically dump all of that stress and panic on the future version of you, and that future version of you will have to deal with all of that later.
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And because your future
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a stranger it's very easy to do it because
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if you think about dumping all of
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that stress on your close friend right now you're probably not gonna want to do it
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but for some reason most of us do it so easily
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when it comes to our future selves
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because we don't really think about it this way we don't think twice about the fact
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that we will still have to deal with it later so our future with more stress,
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with a stricter deadline, and with more pressure.
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And here's where your nervous system comes into this equation.
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There is a concept called the window of tolerance, and it was developed by a psychiatrist, Dan Siegel.
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Basically, you have this zone, your window, where you can think clearly and make really rational decisions.
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As you can see here, you feel present, calm, engaged,
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alert, window, productivity advice actually works.
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Motivation works.
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Discipline works.
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Everything is just perfect.
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But when you're outside of that window, either here or here, you are overstimulated,
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overwhelmed, and you don't really know how to start.
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So your nervous system goes into survival mode.
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Fight, flight or freeze.
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And for most people who dream big but never start, you are in freeze right here.
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Which usually looks like this.
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You know what you need to get done, but for some reason you just feel unable to start and so you prefer to scroll instead.
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That's not laziness, that's your nervous system saying I don't feel safe enough to try.
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And when something like this happens,
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when your nervous system is in shutdown quotes and just do it energy.
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We first have to heal our nervous system and work with that,
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making sure that we get into this window more often instead of just staying here or here.
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Obviously, it's not about perfection here.
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We're not trying to live our life
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always being in this window because
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that is not realistic we are supposed to be experiencing the full spectrum of our emotions
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and that is okay to be here
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and to be here the point is knowing how to return to this window
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when you're experiencing all of these emotions instead of just being stuck here
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or here for days and weeks and months now i want to share this super interesting analogy the gym that we actually enjoy.
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Think about exercise for a second.
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When you're lying on the couch, the thought of going to the gym to exercise is probably the last thing that you want to do right now.
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Like your entire body is saying "no, I don't want to do it".
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You'd rather do literally anything else.
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But then you force yourself to go and then 20 minutes into the workout you're like...
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I think I'm actually loving it.
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Like, I actually like going to the gym and I'm so proud of myself.
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I'm so happy that I decided to go.
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And by the time you're done, you feel amazing, energized, clear -headed.
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And then you always think about this one thing: Why do I resist it so much at the very beginning?
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We can continue talking about your exercise routine and working out.
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But the thing is, the exact same thing is happening to your dreams and your goals.
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It's not like you don't want to achieve your goal you do.
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You know you'll feel incredible once you start working on it and once you actually achieve it.
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But your brain treats starting as a threat.
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And this is a really well documented thing in neuroscience.
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So I'm going to show you guys this picture of your brain right now
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and explain the role of your amygdala and prefrontal cortex.
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So your amygdala is like your brain's threat detector. about to do something.
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And if that thing feels uncertain, uncomfortable, or emotionally loaded, your amygdala sends a signal that basically says "danger,
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avoid, I don't want to do it, please no".
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And the prefrontal cortex is the front part of your brain.
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It's basically the part that does all the adult stuff.
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It typically fully develops and matures at around age 25.
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I'm 26 now, so you can kind of say that I've been a full mature adult for around a year.
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The prefrontal cortex is responsible for planning, decision making, thinking long term, weighing consequences, and staying focused.
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It's the part of your brain that says, okay, I'm going to start working on my project, on my business today.
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I'm actually doing it.
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And usually the amygdala takes over because the amygdala doesn't care about your five -year plan.
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It only cares about feeling better right now, this very second.
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So that is the exact reason you resist the gym every single time, even though you know once you actually go and exercise,
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you're going to feel better because your amygdala doesn't care.
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It doesn't care what the prefrontal cortex thinks, gym plan, your workout routine,
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you feel all of that friction now lying on the couch, scrolling, and you're just thinking, I don't want to go to the gym now.
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So you want to regulate your emotions, you want to start feeling better now, and the easiest way to do so right now is with our phones.
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Your amygdala doesn't care about after.
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It cares about right now, it feels hard, so I don't want to do it.
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And the wild thing is, research shows
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that it only takes about four to six repetitions of doing the same thing to actually recalibrate your nervous system
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and start thinking about it in a different way, maybe reduce all of that friction.
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But the thing is, most of us never get start and we never continue.
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And I actually have a personal example for you guys here
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that I really hope will make all of this click for you.
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So for many many years I didn't really have a consistent working out routine.
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Like I knew exercising was important for me, was good for my health, for my body, but I always felt that friction.
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Like every single time I would go to the gym I didn't want to do it.
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So my amygdala would take over and I would skip a lot of my workout sessions.
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I felt dread to be honest and no matter how many times the rational part of my brain, the prefrontal cortex, would tell me,
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no Veronica, it's okay, just go, you're gonna feel better later.
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My amygdala would always win and so I wouldn't really continue and I was just very inconsistent. And
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so one day was like okay I'm not gonna go to
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the gym I'm gonna work on it in a different way
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so I started thinking about all of the forms of movement
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that I enjoy not like going to the gym and lifting weights
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but all of the different ways you can move your body you can exercise you can work out
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and so the first thing that I wanted to try that was on my list was rock climbing and bouldering
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really enjoyed it.
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It was something that helped me bring the consistency back into my working out routine.
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And then I just went down my list and I tried every single activity.
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Things like ballet, yoga, Pilates.
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And what I was doing without realizing is something scientists called cognitive change.
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I wasn't forcing myself to push through the dread.
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I was changing how the task was framed in my brain.
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Instead of go to the gym, which my amygdala had flagged as something absolutely awful,
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I turned it into explore all the ways to move your body.
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And my alarm system had no reason to resist that.
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doing nothing and being sedentary all day.
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And one thing that stuck was obviously yoga, you guys know that, I really fell in love with it
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and I even became a yoga teacher at some point all because I stopped fighting my amygdala and started working with it.
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And I think that is one thing that is so important to understand.
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You don't always have to bulldoze through all of that resistance.
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Sometimes you can find a door that's already slightly open.
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Okay, so now let's talk about why I think consumption is in progress.
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When you watch a self -improvement video about your dream, when you read the book, save the post, plan to plan,
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your brain gives you a little dopamine hit.
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Because learning about your dream activates a very similar reward response as actually going and working on it.
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It feels like progress, you feel productive, you feel like you're actually doing something to get closer to your goal.
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doing and this is actually a form of avoidance it is something
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that so many of us struggle with your brain has figured out
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that it can get all of the good emotions of working
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towards my dream without any emotional discomfort of actually starting
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so it keeps choosing that path why risk failure
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if you can feel productive by watching just another video
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and I'm saying all of this was zero judgment because I do that too
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but i think once you see it for what it is
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that creating a pinterest board about your dream is completely different from actually going out there
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and working and getting closer towards that dream and i lived through
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that exact experience with youtube
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because i wanted to start my own youtube channel ever since i was a teenager
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and in 2019 i was 19 at that time i actually recorded I edited it,
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but I never posted it.
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I just couldn't press publish.
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And the reason wasn't that I didn't want it, like it wasn't my dream anymore.
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It still was.
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I wanted it really badly.
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The reason was, once I sat down and I actually did the work, I scripted, I planned everything, I sat down to record the video,
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I then worked on the editing, I realized how hard it was.
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Like how much effort And my brain immediately went to, if this is what it takes to make just one video,
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how am I going to go through all of this every single week?
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So I quit.
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I froze and I waited another full year.
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Only at the end of 2020, I was like, okay, I'm actually gonna do it.
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I'm gonna start and I'm going to continue.
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I created for myself was extremely high.
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I was watching all of those different creators with years of experience on YouTube and I was comparing myself to them.
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And plus, I'm not a native English speaker, so I also had all of that pressure of making sure
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that my English was perfect when I was recording a YouTube video.
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I was comparing my non -existent video to someone else's 500th video.
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And of course, because of that extremely high standard, it just felt impossible.
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Like, it felt impossible to start.
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And I think this is where comparison really kills dreams before they even begin.
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We see someone online doing the thing that we want to do, and instead of feeling inspired and motivated and
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of this dread and fear and we think
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that we will never be able to do anything like this
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and so we don't start because we think
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that our starting line should be the same as someone else's finishing line
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and obviously you know this discrepancy is so high the pressure the friction
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that we're experiencing is so high
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and our amygdala is just like nope like you're not gonna do it i want to comfortable right now, so I'm not gonna do it.
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That's way too much pressure.
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Alright, so finally, I want to talk about what you can actually do about all of this.
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Why you dream big but never start and how you can change that.
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The first thing, and I know it probably sounds counterintuitive, is to stop pushing through.
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That's my example with the gym because I was forcing myself so much with my nervous system.
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Instead of against it, everything changed for me.
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I was trying to look for a version of moving my body, of exercising, that my nervous system was okay with.
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I was trying to find that door that was already open.
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Because your brain can't plan when it's in survival mode.
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So before you try to be productive, try to be regulated, try to work on that first.
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You need to feel safe in your body before your brain will let you take a risk.
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And to your dysregulated nervous system.
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The second thing is try to be honest about whether you are doing or just consuming.
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And I say this as someone who recorded an entire video in 2019
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and I just deleted it and I spent an entire year watching other creators instead of being one.
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I was consuming.
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I felt like I was getting closer to my dream but in reality I was getting more and not doing it.
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And the third thing is the low entry principle I always talk about
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because if you create extremely high expectations and you want everything to be perfect immediately,
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it is going to be impossible for you to start.
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Like this morning something happened to my hair, it was not a good hair day for me and my bangs just look very flat.
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And so I could have said, okay I'm not gonna do record a video,
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it doesn't really matter because everything has to be perfect before I can even begin.
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But the thing is, you guys don't even know all of those emotions
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and struggles and things that I'm going through every single day.
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Like, if I hadn't mentioned that today I had a bad hair day, most of you would probably never guess.
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And that's the thing, we feel all of that friction, and we choose to regulate ourselves in a different way.
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A way that is pushing us further and further from our dream.
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Because I could have said, "Okay, today I'm not recording anything," and that would have dumped all of that responsibility on my future self.
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Maybe tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, I will still be recording.
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So why not make it today?
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It's fine.
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It's a bad hair day.
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It happens.
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It happens to everyone.
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And there's nothing I can do about it.
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It feels crazy to say all of this
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because deep down I am a perfectionist
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and I do struggle with a lot of different emotions
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and very high friction because I always want everything to be perfect from the very beginning but that's not life,
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that's not realistic and the sooner you learn that and the
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situations so that you're still getting closer towards your dream not running away from it, the better you will actually feel.
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Alright everyone, I think it's going to be it for today's video, if you liked it please don't forget to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my YouTube channel.
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Just a reminder to check out my free nervous system reset guide, the link is going to be in the description.
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At the beginning of today's video we talked about how to plan your days and procrastination, and I mentioned that I actually have a video about that.
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So you can watch this video right now on how I get everything done as an overstimulated person.
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Click here to continue watching, otherwise thank you so much for being here and I'll see you in my next video.
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Bye!
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “Why You Dream Big but Never Start”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: dream, brain, nervous. This video has 258 sentences and 3322 words to shadow. The speech runs for 22:25. The speaker talks at a steady 148 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| amygdala noun | /əˈmɪɡ.də.lə/ | Each one of the two regions of the brain, located as a pair in the medial temporal lobe, believed to play a key role in processing emotions, such as fear and… |
| emotion noun | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data. |
| friction noun | /ˈfɹɪkʃən/ | The rubbing of one object or surface against another. |
| regulate verb | /ˈɹɛɡ.jə.leɪt/ | To dictate policy. |
| prefrontal adjective | /pɹiːˈfɹʌn.təl/ | Of, pertaining to or situated in the anterior part of the frontal lobe. |
| cortex noun | /ˈkɔɹtɛks/ | The outer layer of an internal organ or body structure, such as the kidney or the brain. |
| scroll noun | /skɹoʊl/ | A roll of paper or parchment; a writing formed into a roll. |
| misregulation noun | Faulty regulation (of gene expression) | |
| procrastination noun | /pɹəʊˌkɹæs.tɪˈneɪ.ʃən/ | The act of postponing, delaying or putting off, especially habitually or intentionally. |
| dread noun | /dɹɛd/ | Great fear in view of impending evil; fearful apprehension of danger; anticipatory terror. |
| discomfort noun | /dɪsˈkʌmfɚt/ | Mental or bodily distress. |
| consume verb | /kənˈsum/ | To use up. |
| workout noun | /ˈwɝk.aʊ̯t/ | An exercise session; a period of physical exercise. |
| dump verb | /dʌmp/ | To release, especially in large quantities and chaotic manner. |
| freeze verb | /ˈfɹiːz/ | Especially of a liquid, to become solid due to low temperature. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| work out verb | /ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/ | To calculate. |
| push through verb | To force (legislation or a plan) to be passed or agreed to or a decision to be reached. | |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. | |
| take over verb | To assume control of something, such as a business or enterprise, and sometimes by force. | |
| check out verb | To record the departure or withdrawal of someone or something (such as guests, employees, books, etc.). | |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. | |
| go down verb | To descend; to move from a higher place to a lower one. | |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- You'd rather do literally anything else.
- I think I'm actually loving it.
- I'm so happy that I decided to go.
- Your amygdala doesn't care about after.
- I wasn't forcing myself to push through the dread.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was developed · are overstimulated · being stuck |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | people who procrastinate · people who dream · someone who recorded |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've been · has figured |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 85 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: timothy /ˈtɪməθi/, thumb /ˈθʌm/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, friction /ˈfɹɪkʃən/, procrastination /pɹəʊˌkɹæs.tɪˈneɪ.ʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, rational /ˈɹæʃ(ə)nəl/
- Long words — get the stress right: amygdala /əˈmɪɡ.də.lə/, procrastination /pɹəʊˌkɹæs.tɪˈneɪ.ʃən/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, procrastinate /pɹoʊˈkɹæs.tə.neɪt/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like amygdala, emotion, friction.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.