Prática de Shadowing: Are you a giver or taker? - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
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Everyone doesn't need access to you.
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Some people are draining and they don't even know it.
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You're allowed to say no. You're allowed to not answer calls.
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You're allowed to break plans and if you need to save yourself, do it.
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I used to be someone who didn't handle conflict very well.
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It doesn't mean that I fight back or say mean things to people,
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but I think I believed that a peaceful relationship meant no conflict at all all.
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Where both people are just constantly considerate of each other, always happy together.
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So I used to end relationships pretty easily when they didn't feel right to me.
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But over time, I started to think about this differently.
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Certain conflicts with certain people actually change you.
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They actually help you learn about yourself, your limits, your capacity, what you can and cannot handle
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so now I don't really think that you need to cut off every relationship to protect yourself.
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Welcome back to this episode of Dissert Hazel.
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I genuinely want people to be happy.
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I want you to be happy.
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I don't want to hurt people and I wish I knew more ways to handle getting hurt too.
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I've always hoped that we could simply like and understand each other better
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but as I go through life that's one thing that I keep learning.
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You can't make everyone happy.
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And protecting yourself is actually really hard.
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Not hurting others is difficult and dealing with pain in a healthy way is hard too.
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Finding a balance between those two things is something everyone has to learn.
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We often hear you need to protect yourself and we tend to take it quite extremely.
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Like if someone makes you uncomfortable, you should cut them off.
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Or if this relationship hurts you, you should end it immediately like I did before.
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But real life is not that easy.
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Of course, sometimes ending a relationship is necessary.
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I'm actually someone who believes that.
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But at the same time, some conflicts can help define the relationship and make the boundaries clearer.
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To me, for now at this point, the key isn't cutting off anymore.
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It's awareness.
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Just noticing how people, like how someone is treating you.
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That's the starting point.
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And from there, you naturally start adjusting your position in that relationship, understanding who you are to the other person and what place you hold in their life.
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When I look at relationships, I have one main principle, like rule I follow.
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I think, I think I have a pretty high level of empathy.
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Sometimes it's good to have it, sometimes it's not but so naturally i tend to treat others the way i want to be treated
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well i'm not perfect at it of course i'm human too
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but this is yeah what i'm trying to do
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but this has become a kind of compass for me to understand people
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and evaluate relationships how am i treating this person
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and how are they treating me that simple observation tells you a lot more than you know.
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There's a phrase that people use a lot.
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I've heard it many times.
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Giver and taker.
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One person gives and the other takes.
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It almost sounds like people are talking about someone's natural personality, like some people naturally feel more themselves giving, while others are more used to receiving and taking.
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What do you think you are?
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A giver or a taker?
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Let me know in the comments below.
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Anywho, I don't really define myself as giver or taker.
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I don't think those are fixed rules in my case.
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In some relationships, I might be the one giving more.
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In others, I might be the one receiving more.
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Even the people around me would probably describe me differently depending on the relationship.
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It's less about personality.
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It's more about context and timing for me and I don't think one is better than the other.
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I think it's good that you know which one you are in the relationship
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because not everyone moves with the same good intentions
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and not every relationship is built on the same level of care and mutual respect.
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So we do need to be a little careful sometimes sadly
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and when I say careful I don't mean becoming suspicious of everyone.
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You can't live like that.
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It would be exhausting to spend your whole life holding up a flashlight, constantly trying to find the truth in people.
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Enjoy your time with people you love.
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I mean, relationships are about giving and receiving but not in a transactional way more like a natural cycle.
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What you give to someone might come back in a different form
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or maybe from a different person and what you receive might flow into someone else later on.
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Maybe that's why I don't really put too much meaning into labels like giver
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and taker but if you feel like you're being used
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and that's not a healthy interaction and honestly when you constantly feel
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that way your feelings are usually right wait a minute this is about taking
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and receiving and in a relationship one person keeps taking things
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and the other person needs to give and give give give
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so that's so unfair yeah those kind of things exist i don't want to label myself as a giver
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and taker because i i want to do both and
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when i think about my people
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and my friends i don't want to label them like a taker
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and giver that's just so unfair and i want them to know
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if they're being a taker and giver in their relationships because we don't all love or express things in the same way
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Yes, so this awareness of protecting yourself needs to be quite objective.
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Maybe this is a little off topic, but it's almost impossible for two people to fill a relationship in exactly the same way.
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If that ever happens, you're very lucky.
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There are so many different kinds of relationships.
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Some people trust each other so deeply even though they don't talk every day.
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Some people talk every single day but they still don't feel truly connected.
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And sometimes even if you shared a lot of memories with someone, those memories can feel less meaningful compared to the memories you shared with someone else.
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It might sound a bit sad but it's not something that you can really control and it's not just you.
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The other person is probably experiencing the same thing in their own way.
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So if you ever feel like you're always the giver or
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that someone is taking you for or
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that they are just staying in a relationship without really giving
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back to you then it's important to look at the relationship very objectively Ahem,
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hey, I don't think that I explained my thoughts very clearly earlier.
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What I was trying to say is that understanding each person's role in a relationship might sound a bit cold at first, but I actually think it's really important.
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It can be a kind of boundary that protects you, but at the same time,
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it also becomes a foundation that lets you love someone more freely and more comfortably.
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And just because I give a lot to someone doesn't mean
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that they have an obligation to give me the same amount back to me.
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What I give doesn't just disappear, it gets filled in different ways, in different forms.
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And when you really understand that, you don't really feel empty or drained just because you gave yourself to someone.
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And I think at the core of all of this is just asking yourself, am I actually happy in this relationship?
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And once I started looking at these things that way,
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whenever conflict comes up, I naturally start to step back and look at the relationship itself.
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Why?
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Because sometimes you really feel okay to be just a giver for certain people.
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Like your family feels different some friends feel different.
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It's not about erasing yourself for someone else.
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It's about building a relationship where you fully exist inside it.
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So I'm just curious, what do you look for in a healthy relationship?
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Are you a giver or a taker?
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I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
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And I think hearing different perspectives helps us understand each other a little better too.
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Anywho, so thank you for today and have a good day.
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Bye-bye.
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you
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Sobre esta Aula
Nesta aula, você praticará a habilidade de conversação em inglês através do método de shadowing. O vídeo "Are you a giver or taker?" explora dinâmicas de relacionamentos e a importância de entender como funcionam as trocas emocionais nas interações. Você aprenderá a identificar e usar vocabulário relevante sobre limites pessoais, empatia e a natureza das relações, além de desenvolver sua fluência em inglês. Ao final, você será capaz de aplicar esses conceitos em suas próprias conversas.
Vocabulário e Frases-Chave
- Draining - Exaustivo, que drena energia.
- Empathy - Empatia, a capacidade de entender e compartilhar os sentimentos dos outros.
- Boundary - Limite, a linha que define como as pessoas devem se relacionar.
- Conflict - Conflito, uma disputa ou desacordo.
- Giver - Pessoa que dá, alguém que oferece apoio ou recursos.
- Taker - Pessoa que recebe, alguém que consome recursos ou suporte.
- Aware - Consciente, ter conhecimento de algo.
- Balance - Equilíbrio, a harmonia entre duas partes.
Dicas de Prática
Utilizar o método de shadowing pode ser extremamente útil para aprimorar sua fluência. O vídeo tem um ritmo calmo e uma entonação clara, o que facilita a compreensão. Aqui estão algumas dicas para sua prática:
- Assista e ouça atentamente: Ouça o vídeo algumas vezes sem interrupções. Preste atenção na entonação e no ritmo da fala.
- Repita em voz alta: Imite o falante. Tente reproduzir a mesma intonação e velocidade. Isso é chamado de shadow speech e ajudará a entender a pronúncia correta.
- Faça pausas estratégicas: Pause o vídeo após frases ou expressões importantes. Repita o que foi dito antes de continuar.
- Grave-se: Ouvir a sua própria voz pode ajudar a identificar áreas em que você pode melhorar. Compare sua pronúncia com a do vídeo.
- Discuta as ideias: Após praticar o shadowing em inglês, converse com um amigo ou mentor sobre os temas abordados. Isso ajudará a consolidar seu aprendizado e desenvolver a prática de conversação em inglês.
Lembre-se, a prática constante é fundamental para sua evolução. Utilize os ensinamentos deste vídeo para se tornar mais confiante em suas interações em inglês e descobrir se você é mais um giver ou um taker.
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verbo — um hábito ou estado do passado que não é mais verdade | used to be · used to end |
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | be treated · are fixed · is built |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | I've always hoped · has become · I've heard |
| Orações relativas who / which + oração — informação extra sobre uma pessoa ou coisa | someone who didn · someone who believes |
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.